Hi.
I've been doing a bunch of things recently. haha
I'd been watching a whole lot of Youtube and playing games on my phone. Like, a lot. Then my friend who sings karaoke alllllllll the time said he was giving it up for lent. And I was like, man. Maybe I should give up aimlessly watching youtube and playing cellphone game apps for lent. However, I feel like I don't really want to do anything. haha. Like what else can I do when I'm at home? So, being fairly legalistic, I'm not spending time on youtube unless it is a single video that someone sends me or a youtube video that isn't on youtube. And games that aren't on my cell phone. haha
So I, after not listening to everyone on youtube telling me to, finally tried playing Undertale, which is an Indie PC game. It's like 10$, but I had become reeeeeeally curious and 10$ isn't bad. And let me tell you. Undertale is an AMAZING game! Like, I cannot say how great the writing and game mechanics are! I don't want to spoil anything, so just play it. haha. The attack, defense, and even level up mechanics are all so interesting and each enemy is different! =D It took me just under 400 minutes to beat the game, so not a whole lot of time. But it was AMAZINGGGGGGGGG! Undertale.com or on steam. 10$. Sooooooo good. Totally worth it! And I thoroughly enjoyed it. I will probably talk about it at some time later.
In line with that legalism, I've also been watching a lot more anime than before. haha. And Adventure Time season 7, which I hadn't realized had come out yet. Also really good. Like, the first more than 2 episode arc and it was great. haha.
The other week my housemates made dumplings. Like, a lot of dumplings. I asked one of them why the other two were making dumplings (it had been like 3 hours of chopping and mixing stuff) and he said it was because they had a bunch of midterms coming up so they had to make it that night. > . >. And my room is beside the kitchen (with a window) so they needed to stop making dumplings. So I asked if I could help. It was now 10 at this point. So we started putting the dumpling filling in dumpling wrappers. It was a huge bowl of filling. I asked how many it would make and he said like 400. > . > I wanted to sleep. So I helped and in 45 minutes of peeling wrappers and wetting the edges and putting filling in and crinkling the edges, we were out of wrapper. Only like 100 though. So we were done for the night. They would get more the next day, when I went to sleep early... haha.
So today I made some food. Pork, cabbage, onions, garlic, ginger, 5 spice blend, soy sauce, some vinegar. All the ingredients from the dumpling filling, but cut less thinly. So more stir-fry style to put on rice. And then I remembered!! =D Lao Gan Ma! One of my housemates had made me some food a month ago or so and gave me some of the Lao Gan Ma chilli stuff. So I borrowed some. Fermented Black Bean with Chilli is soooooooooo goooooooood. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Ya. Random. I'm trying to get everyone I know to play Undertale so I can talk about it. haha
Ttyl.
D.Fa
PS. OH! Also this new anime named Erased! It's soooooooooo goooooooooood! I've been watching it every week at a friend's house after P2C weekly meeting. So good. haha
15.1.16
Masters Students
Yo.
So, I'm a Masters student. That means my job is research. Last semester I was a Masters student, but I didn't really do any research... > . > InSeptember October I met up with my two supervisors and discussed the project (which is an extension of my 4908 undergrad research project) and we laid out what the goals for this year were and what I should do last semester: do a literature review of pretty much everything related to it; make some more DNA; and make some new DNA based on the literature research which would be better than the old DNA. In brief, I use DNA with attached fluorescent molecules to detect E coli toxins for food safety purposes. More sensitivity. Stronger contrast in fluorescence with / without toxin. More functionality in complex media (not just clean water). Those are some of my goals.
But I didn't do any research last semester. I had been keeping fairly distant from my supervisors so they wouldn't really find out. My plan was to do most of the work over the exam break once all my classes had finished. In December I had to talk to one so I could get my Health Canada security clearance. So he found out that I hadn't done anything yet and said he'd thus have to watch me like a hawk to make sure I was making progress. > . < But now that he had found out, the due date was gone, so I took the break off and didn't do anything... haha.
Yesterday I had a meeting with my supervisors to go over what has been done last semester.
So you can imagine how I felt when they set the date. "Oh my. I need to do as much work as I possibly can in the next week!!!!!" So I set out to be a productive employee. 9-5 everyday. So I read like 30 journal articles and started writing up a report. It's definitely not done yet, but I managed to get most of 10 pages ready. I also sorted out Microsoft Word and Mendeley and it's pretty sweet, keeping track of my references like a pro. haha I wrote up my report to look like a journal article too, so that was fun. haha
There were a number of questions that were asked of me to research in the literature. My supervisor started by asking "so about the fluorophores?" and I was like thinking 'nooooooo. that's the one question I'm fairly sketchy at having answered.' So I redirected to the document from last semester to answer the questions in order. hehe. Because I DEFINITELY answered the first question! =O So I shared what I had found. The first part, same as they expected. The second part, a bit of a joke. We laugh at 'peptide aptamers' here. If you are a peptide aptamer or work on them, I don't mean to offend. I apologize. The third part, this was the key. It was stuff that I had found that neither my supervisors NOR the other papers I had read had found! =D Amazing! I also found a couple new patents, which circumvent some of the stuff we would have had to do otherwise, so that's cool too. They were impressed. Yesssssss. My two weeks of literature research paid off. *sigh of relief*. The second question, as expected, plus no need now with those new patents / papers. Third question, as expected. Fourth question, a somewhat sketchy 4-page-long table... haha. But it seems like I did well. So I need to clean it up and do a little bit more research, but it was good. I survived, and I think I understand a lot more now. haha
I had been feeling pretty guilty about not really having done much work last semester, but my supervisors acknowledged that part of being a Masters student is class and I did do class last semester. I took 3 classes, and after 1 more presentation this semester I will be done all assigned school work, and that'll be great. And then I can do research all the time. My supervisors joked about some Roman slave thing and that there was hope for freedom even for Masters students. I can't really explain, but it was funny. haha I also asked and apparently I can take vacations, which mean I can go on a mission trip this summer! =D Tell you more about that later.
This semester should be good. TAing is good. This afternoon's section may be tough though. I've got the very last group and all the V-Z last names are in it. Many ethnically Chinese or Vietnamese people. Most of the group. So it might be tough. We'll see.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
So, I'm a Masters student. That means my job is research. Last semester I was a Masters student, but I didn't really do any research... > . > In
But I didn't do any research last semester. I had been keeping fairly distant from my supervisors so they wouldn't really find out. My plan was to do most of the work over the exam break once all my classes had finished. In December I had to talk to one so I could get my Health Canada security clearance. So he found out that I hadn't done anything yet and said he'd thus have to watch me like a hawk to make sure I was making progress. > . < But now that he had found out, the due date was gone, so I took the break off and didn't do anything... haha.
Yesterday I had a meeting with my supervisors to go over what has been done last semester.
So you can imagine how I felt when they set the date. "Oh my. I need to do as much work as I possibly can in the next week!!!!!" So I set out to be a productive employee. 9-5 everyday. So I read like 30 journal articles and started writing up a report. It's definitely not done yet, but I managed to get most of 10 pages ready. I also sorted out Microsoft Word and Mendeley and it's pretty sweet, keeping track of my references like a pro. haha I wrote up my report to look like a journal article too, so that was fun. haha
There were a number of questions that were asked of me to research in the literature. My supervisor started by asking "so about the fluorophores?" and I was like thinking 'nooooooo. that's the one question I'm fairly sketchy at having answered.' So I redirected to the document from last semester to answer the questions in order. hehe. Because I DEFINITELY answered the first question! =O So I shared what I had found. The first part, same as they expected. The second part, a bit of a joke. We laugh at 'peptide aptamers' here. If you are a peptide aptamer or work on them, I don't mean to offend. I apologize. The third part, this was the key. It was stuff that I had found that neither my supervisors NOR the other papers I had read had found! =D Amazing! I also found a couple new patents, which circumvent some of the stuff we would have had to do otherwise, so that's cool too. They were impressed. Yesssssss. My two weeks of literature research paid off. *sigh of relief*. The second question, as expected, plus no need now with those new patents / papers. Third question, as expected. Fourth question, a somewhat sketchy 4-page-long table... haha. But it seems like I did well. So I need to clean it up and do a little bit more research, but it was good. I survived, and I think I understand a lot more now. haha
I had been feeling pretty guilty about not really having done much work last semester, but my supervisors acknowledged that part of being a Masters student is class and I did do class last semester. I took 3 classes, and after 1 more presentation this semester I will be done all assigned school work, and that'll be great. And then I can do research all the time. My supervisors joked about some Roman slave thing and that there was hope for freedom even for Masters students. I can't really explain, but it was funny. haha I also asked and apparently I can take vacations, which mean I can go on a mission trip this summer! =D Tell you more about that later.
This semester should be good. TAing is good. This afternoon's section may be tough though. I've got the very last group and all the V-Z last names are in it. Many ethnically Chinese or Vietnamese people. Most of the group. So it might be tough. We'll see.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
13.1.16
Matthew 26: Does Your Heart Belong to God?
Yo,
The other day, in St. Louis at the Urbana conference, David Platt shared Matt 26:1-16 with us (session here). And he challenged us to truly give our whole hearts to God. Here is the passage from the ESV:
In between two scenes of plotting to kill Jesus is this story focused on an unnamed woman and a bottle of very expensive perfume. A bottle that would have been worth a year's wages, that's 50-100k if it were today. I don't even think there's a good analogy. It'd be like giving someone a new Ferrari that could only be driven once. That's how expensive this bottle was. If that had happened today, what could seem like a waste of 100,000$, what would we say? What would we have wanted to use the money for? I'm sure we could all think of something for ourselves or for others or for those truly in need or charities or even needs in our church. We too would be standing there judging this action. All the disciples seem convinced that the cause they'd support was a good cause. And so they say so in front of her. Yet instead of agreeing with them, Jesus says that what she had done is a beautiful thing.What does Jesus mean and what does this mean to us?
The disciples, the chief priests and the elders, every one of us are "prone to passionately defend a cause while personally disregarding Christ". Even the causes we think are worth pursuing. Things of value and noble character, be it fighting for justice for refugees or sex trafficking victims, participating in outreach or missions, or any other cause; we are prone to do so while ignoring Jesus. But this woman was not going to and there were two main things that she realized that made her action different. Two things that we all need to realize; the significance of Jesus' death, and the purpose of our lives.
First, Jesus' death was of utmost significance. something that He had spoken about multiple times and which the disciples did not understand until well after. Jesus was not some mere man and he was not going to die some mere death. In verse 2 again he said "the Son of Man will be delivered up to be crucified." This is what the scriptures pointed to. This is why He came to earth as a babe in a manger. Death was not the end, but a beginning. By living a life in complete obedience to God, every word, every action to the point of death on a cross. He alone, God the Son, would be able to take our place and buy us back from the death we rightly deserve. This was His mission to seek and save the lost. Those living lives of disobedience which had separated them from God. From the very beginning, God spoke and the world was made. He commanded the mountains and seas where to go and they went. Jesus in the boat commanded the winds and rains and they calmed. But then it gets to men and women and we have "the audacity to say no". As such we are guilty and deserve judgment. Eternal heaven or eternal hell and without Him we are all going to eternal punishment. Yet in His perfect love and justice God did something unthinkable, and as John 3:16 says "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life." Jesus would die in our place. He would rise victorious over sin and death. He would return in His glory to the Father. The woman knew the significance of Jesus' death.
Secondly, she knew her life purpose and was willing to pay whatever cost. Her purpose and our purpose as David Platt put it was "to pour out our hearts in sacrificial, selfless, satisfying devotion to Christ." She was willing to pay every cost. She walked through the entire crowd up to Jesus. She poured out the extremely costly perfume. Why does she do it? Because she believes Jesus is worth it and that He is her reward. Similarly in Matthew 13, why does the unnamed man in the parable Jesus tells sell everything he had to joyously buy a field? Because the Kingdom of Heaven is like a treasure more costly than all we could ever have or do. God's steadfast love is better than anything life can offer. He is worthy of giving our all too, our lives and our hearts. The woman recognized her purpose. Does your heart belong to Jesus?
Finally, an illustration of what this looks like in our lives, David Platt then spoke of John Wesley. The John Wesley of the Wesleyan church. He graduated with honours from Oxford, was ordained as minister, had rich theology from the word, an active faith in the world going to slums and prisons, daily Bible study, worship services all week, prayer and fasting, giving. He even moved to America to serve the First Nations peoples as a missionary. He did everything and upon return to Britain penned these words "I who went to America to convert others was never myself converted." He had done everything and yet his heart did not belong to Jesus.
We cannot manufacture a heart for missions while missing a heart for Christ. Missions, all service and causes for justice in the world are an overflow of life and love in Christ. Missions was never intended to be your life. Christ is intended to be your life.
This is the beautiful life, one in love with Jesus. Although it looked like a waste she was willing to pay the price that she could truly know Jesus. That is the life that counts. It's not about how involved you are in church or ministries at school or work, not how many bible studies you attend or lead, not about how many missions you've been on, not if you've ever said a prayer once, but does your heart belong to Jesus? That alone is the important question.
And that was the question for me. Over the conference, and the weeks and months leading up to it, I was confronted again and again with the reality of my disobedience to God and my reliance on myself. Did my heart fully belong to God? A little over 5 years ago I was baptized. I had made my choice to follow after Jesus, but I had not given my entire heart to God. I had studied the Bible. I had prayed prayers. I had shared the gospel. I had been on missions multiple times. But I had kept a part of my heart mine and again and again I was confronted with how regularly I would choose to follow my own apparent desires instead of listening to God's word, instead of trusting in His good plans and His purposes.
I wouldn't say I was living a double life, but the part of my heart that was mine continued to grow as the part of my heart that was God's shrank. In the last year numerous times I had asked myself questions along the lines of whether I should stop following God altogether so I could stop feeling so hypocritical, so I could freely try to follow the apparent desires of my heart that seemed out of line with the God of the Bible. The words spoken by Patrick Fung, Francis Chan, and David Platt on the authority of God brought that question to the forefront: who am I submitting to? to whom does my heart belong? And God's word is clear, you cannot serve two masters, either you will hate the one and love the other or be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot drink the cup of the lord and the cup of demons, you cannot sit at both tables. I knew I needed to make a choice. I couldn't live divided. But I didn't want to give up either.
Monday afternoon at Urbana I went to listen to a seminar by Christopher Yuan, a Chinese man who had lived an active life of homosexuality and by God's graces came to know Jesus (seminar here). He explained in his own testimony that he could not find a biblical blessing of monogamous gay relationship and was presented with the decision to abandon God and His word or abandon a gay relationship. In his words the choice was clear and obvious. I knew the choice was clear and obvious yet so much of me did not want to give my heart to God. This has been and is a large part of my struggle. When presented again with this decision, as David Platt listed off the various things that we do, service, bible studies, missions, and invited us to stand and make the decision to give our hearts to God. I knew I had to make the decision. I stood up as did hundreds of others.
We went to a room to help us process our decisions. There were balloons. This was a celebration. And yet so much of me felt lament and sorrow over this decision. This decision is to die that Christ may live fully in me. To take up my cross and deny myself. I knew I need to surrender to His authority. He is worthy of all our affection, adoration, longing, and love. I know this is the right decision and am praying that He gives me the ability to follow Him, the faith to trust Him through difficulty, and the strength to fight sin and any temptation to abandon Him. I have seen Him do amazing things all over the world so I echo the words of Wesley "I who went to convert was not myself converted" as well as the words of the father in Mark 9 "I believe, help my unbelief." I need to love Jesus first and let missions flow out of that love. My heart had not fully belonged to Jesus. Does your heart belong to Jesus?
May we seek after Him with all our hearts, may we taste and see that He is good, may we pursue the Kingdom knowing the treasure is worth more than we could ever hope or imagine, may we trust in the statement of the Psalmist in Psalm 63:3 that His steadfast love is better than life and respond in praise and glorifying Him, may He be our all in all and our greatest desire be for Him and for others to know Him.
D.Fa
The other day, in St. Louis at the Urbana conference, David Platt shared Matt 26:1-16 with us (session here). And he challenged us to truly give our whole hearts to God. Here is the passage from the ESV:
"When Jesus had finished all these sayings, he said to his disciples, “You know that after two days the Passover is coming, and the Son of Man will be delivered up to be crucified.”Jesus said "I'm going to die." The elders plotted to kill Him. A woman poured very expensive perfume (or ointment in this translation) on Jesus and there was a disagreement of how that money could have been used. Judas planed to betray Jesus. Matthew 26:1-16 A fairly simple passage with deep implications for our relationship with Christ and how we act in the world. In this passage the one simple question the speaker presented was this: Does your heart belong to Jesus? My goal in this post is to help you understand the passage as it had been discussed at Urbana and to explain a bit of how I was responding to it.
Then the chief priests and the elders of the people gathered in the palace of the high priest, whose name was Caiaphas, and plotted together in order to arrest Jesus by stealth and kill him. But they said, “Not during the feast, lest there be an uproar among the people.”
Now when Jesus was at Bethany in the house of Simon the leper, a woman came up to him with an alabaster flask of very expensive ointment, and she poured it on his head as he reclined at table. And when the disciples saw it, they were indignant, saying, “Why this waste? For this could have been sold for a large sum and given to the poor.” But Jesus, aware of this, said to them, “Why do you trouble the woman? For she has done a beautiful thing to me. For you always have the poor with you, but you will not always have me. In pouring this ointment on my body, she has done it to prepare me for burial. Truly, I say to you, wherever this gospel is proclaimed in the whole world, what she has done will also be told in memory of her.”
Then one of the twelve, whose name was Judas Iscariot, went to the chief priests and said, “What will you give me if I deliver him over to you?” And they paid him thirty pieces of silver. And from that moment he sought an opportunity to betray him."
In between two scenes of plotting to kill Jesus is this story focused on an unnamed woman and a bottle of very expensive perfume. A bottle that would have been worth a year's wages, that's 50-100k if it were today. I don't even think there's a good analogy. It'd be like giving someone a new Ferrari that could only be driven once. That's how expensive this bottle was. If that had happened today, what could seem like a waste of 100,000$, what would we say? What would we have wanted to use the money for? I'm sure we could all think of something for ourselves or for others or for those truly in need or charities or even needs in our church. We too would be standing there judging this action. All the disciples seem convinced that the cause they'd support was a good cause. And so they say so in front of her. Yet instead of agreeing with them, Jesus says that what she had done is a beautiful thing.What does Jesus mean and what does this mean to us?
The disciples, the chief priests and the elders, every one of us are "prone to passionately defend a cause while personally disregarding Christ". Even the causes we think are worth pursuing. Things of value and noble character, be it fighting for justice for refugees or sex trafficking victims, participating in outreach or missions, or any other cause; we are prone to do so while ignoring Jesus. But this woman was not going to and there were two main things that she realized that made her action different. Two things that we all need to realize; the significance of Jesus' death, and the purpose of our lives.
First, Jesus' death was of utmost significance. something that He had spoken about multiple times and which the disciples did not understand until well after. Jesus was not some mere man and he was not going to die some mere death. In verse 2 again he said "the Son of Man will be delivered up to be crucified." This is what the scriptures pointed to. This is why He came to earth as a babe in a manger. Death was not the end, but a beginning. By living a life in complete obedience to God, every word, every action to the point of death on a cross. He alone, God the Son, would be able to take our place and buy us back from the death we rightly deserve. This was His mission to seek and save the lost. Those living lives of disobedience which had separated them from God. From the very beginning, God spoke and the world was made. He commanded the mountains and seas where to go and they went. Jesus in the boat commanded the winds and rains and they calmed. But then it gets to men and women and we have "the audacity to say no". As such we are guilty and deserve judgment. Eternal heaven or eternal hell and without Him we are all going to eternal punishment. Yet in His perfect love and justice God did something unthinkable, and as John 3:16 says "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life." Jesus would die in our place. He would rise victorious over sin and death. He would return in His glory to the Father. The woman knew the significance of Jesus' death.
Secondly, she knew her life purpose and was willing to pay whatever cost. Her purpose and our purpose as David Platt put it was "to pour out our hearts in sacrificial, selfless, satisfying devotion to Christ." She was willing to pay every cost. She walked through the entire crowd up to Jesus. She poured out the extremely costly perfume. Why does she do it? Because she believes Jesus is worth it and that He is her reward. Similarly in Matthew 13, why does the unnamed man in the parable Jesus tells sell everything he had to joyously buy a field? Because the Kingdom of Heaven is like a treasure more costly than all we could ever have or do. God's steadfast love is better than anything life can offer. He is worthy of giving our all too, our lives and our hearts. The woman recognized her purpose. Does your heart belong to Jesus?
Finally, an illustration of what this looks like in our lives, David Platt then spoke of John Wesley. The John Wesley of the Wesleyan church. He graduated with honours from Oxford, was ordained as minister, had rich theology from the word, an active faith in the world going to slums and prisons, daily Bible study, worship services all week, prayer and fasting, giving. He even moved to America to serve the First Nations peoples as a missionary. He did everything and upon return to Britain penned these words "I who went to America to convert others was never myself converted." He had done everything and yet his heart did not belong to Jesus.
We cannot manufacture a heart for missions while missing a heart for Christ. Missions, all service and causes for justice in the world are an overflow of life and love in Christ. Missions was never intended to be your life. Christ is intended to be your life.
This is the beautiful life, one in love with Jesus. Although it looked like a waste she was willing to pay the price that she could truly know Jesus. That is the life that counts. It's not about how involved you are in church or ministries at school or work, not how many bible studies you attend or lead, not about how many missions you've been on, not if you've ever said a prayer once, but does your heart belong to Jesus? That alone is the important question.
And that was the question for me. Over the conference, and the weeks and months leading up to it, I was confronted again and again with the reality of my disobedience to God and my reliance on myself. Did my heart fully belong to God? A little over 5 years ago I was baptized. I had made my choice to follow after Jesus, but I had not given my entire heart to God. I had studied the Bible. I had prayed prayers. I had shared the gospel. I had been on missions multiple times. But I had kept a part of my heart mine and again and again I was confronted with how regularly I would choose to follow my own apparent desires instead of listening to God's word, instead of trusting in His good plans and His purposes.
I wouldn't say I was living a double life, but the part of my heart that was mine continued to grow as the part of my heart that was God's shrank. In the last year numerous times I had asked myself questions along the lines of whether I should stop following God altogether so I could stop feeling so hypocritical, so I could freely try to follow the apparent desires of my heart that seemed out of line with the God of the Bible. The words spoken by Patrick Fung, Francis Chan, and David Platt on the authority of God brought that question to the forefront: who am I submitting to? to whom does my heart belong? And God's word is clear, you cannot serve two masters, either you will hate the one and love the other or be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot drink the cup of the lord and the cup of demons, you cannot sit at both tables. I knew I needed to make a choice. I couldn't live divided. But I didn't want to give up either.
Monday afternoon at Urbana I went to listen to a seminar by Christopher Yuan, a Chinese man who had lived an active life of homosexuality and by God's graces came to know Jesus (seminar here). He explained in his own testimony that he could not find a biblical blessing of monogamous gay relationship and was presented with the decision to abandon God and His word or abandon a gay relationship. In his words the choice was clear and obvious. I knew the choice was clear and obvious yet so much of me did not want to give my heart to God. This has been and is a large part of my struggle. When presented again with this decision, as David Platt listed off the various things that we do, service, bible studies, missions, and invited us to stand and make the decision to give our hearts to God. I knew I had to make the decision. I stood up as did hundreds of others.
We went to a room to help us process our decisions. There were balloons. This was a celebration. And yet so much of me felt lament and sorrow over this decision. This decision is to die that Christ may live fully in me. To take up my cross and deny myself. I knew I need to surrender to His authority. He is worthy of all our affection, adoration, longing, and love. I know this is the right decision and am praying that He gives me the ability to follow Him, the faith to trust Him through difficulty, and the strength to fight sin and any temptation to abandon Him. I have seen Him do amazing things all over the world so I echo the words of Wesley "I who went to convert was not myself converted" as well as the words of the father in Mark 9 "I believe, help my unbelief." I need to love Jesus first and let missions flow out of that love. My heart had not fully belonged to Jesus. Does your heart belong to Jesus?
May we seek after Him with all our hearts, may we taste and see that He is good, may we pursue the Kingdom knowing the treasure is worth more than we could ever hope or imagine, may we trust in the statement of the Psalmist in Psalm 63:3 that His steadfast love is better than life and respond in praise and glorifying Him, may He be our all in all and our greatest desire be for Him and for others to know Him.
D.Fa
7.1.16
Urbana 15 LiveBlog 4
The following are the notes and prayers and thoughts that I jotted down on my phone during the second half of Urbana. The morning of the 30th David Platt shared about the unnamed woman who poured the bottle of perfume on Jesus and how we need to give our whole heart to Jesus, not just part of it, that missions and whatever else you are doing is not enough we need to have our whole hearts belong to Jesus.
"Everything in my flesh wants to say no to this. Everything
in my flesh wants to remain under my own authority. My heart is so hard
and has grown so complacent to this life I've been living and I do want
more. I want to be free to truly know you lord. To know you personally
and not just on the side. God would you give me boldness to fight against this flesh
and sin and help me. God. I'm so empty without you and my light will
burn out. I need you. I need to be unchained from sin and free to know
Jesus. To be a slave to righteousness and a prisoner of hope would be
much better
Now should be a time to celebrate. (There are balloons.)
And yet so much of me feels somber and lament over the fact that I must
die before I can truly live. To die before you live. I don't know what's
on the other side of death. I don't want to give up the world on this
side. But I know I need to. I know there is grace and truth on the other
side. I know there is fullness of life and purpose and meaning. I need
the faith to truth Him in this. I need the faith and moreover the power
to turn from the old and allow the new to reign. I need the faith to
submit wholeheartedly to the good King and worthy authority over all creation. May He be blessed. May I be made new fully. May I even
slightly begin to understand the depths of His love for me again. May He
give me strength for the immense difficulty and trials that are coming
in the days and weeks to come. I don't want to go back, but everything
in me doesn't want to go forward. Yet lukewarm is worse than cold. Yet
conviction of lukewarmness is an amazing grace. Yet fear of lukewarm is a
blessing. Praise God for how He has not given me up. Praise God for how
He continues to fight for me. Praise God that He is our good father and
alive and true and eternal and God. May my heart be completely turned to
Him and renewed and restored and new in Him.
That's crazy. He was a biochem major. "You are blessed".
God there are so many bad habits in my life related to my flesh nature. God would you help me overcome even the smallest habit that draws my heart from you Lord.
God. I think I have been bearing a burden of shame and
brokenness for a long time and just believing that it was me. God would
you take that burden from me. Would you help me to share it with my
brothers and sisters and would you give me your yoke which is easy and
light. God, would I be yoked to you and ever yours.
The Wonderful Cross in Mandarin
God, this feeling is the worst. I feel like there's no way out. I feel like there's no progress. I feel like this fight will get me no where. ... but I know I have not resisted to the point of shedding blood. I know I have not resisted to the point of full reliance on your strength. I know you are faithful and provide ways out. I know you are good and just. I know your word is there to lead us to you and thus to meaningful abundant life. I know that this is just common to man and that you are always with me. God, I need you to overcome these lying feelings and help me know the truth in my heart."
6.1.16
Urbana 15 LiveBlog 3
Yo
Throughout the Urbana conference I would jot down thoughts and prayers on my phone. This is the first half of it, everything up to the evening of the 29th. There were quite a few tears and emotional moments over the week. A real tension between flesh and Spirit, wrong thoughts of worthlessness overcome through His purpose. God is good and emotions are fleeting, but need to be addressed.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
I feel so guilty for all I have done and yet I am standing here singing of how you died on the cross for me; you are risen and alive; you did it all for me and for the nations. Lord soften my heart and minister to my soul by your holy Spirit. Please.
God. All of me is not worth anything. God why do you desire for me to give you my all? What am I worth to you?
God would you teach you truths deep into my soul that I do have value in you. Lord that in your hands I can do amazing things. That I have already been able to see you save lives. May I never forget your greatness and power
God, you are healer and powerful, going to all people. Would you help me to trust in that power and authority as I surrender my life to you
And I'm loved by you. It's who I am
And you laid down your life that I would be set free. Jesus I sing for all that you've done for me
God you are good. A church without mission isn't a church. Thank you for the way you've been unifying OCBC through mission this last year. May you continue to do so more and more. More so, thank you for how mission has given me purpose identity and meaning.
God. Such of me doesn't want to obey and submit to you. So much of me wants to continue to be me and do what I want. Lord would you continue to strip away barriers; show your greatness and majesty; show your strength and turn my soul to you in everything. May I be less 50/50 and much more 90/10 following you if not 100/0. Lord. May you destroy this conflict in me. May the tension be nothing in comparison to the joy of following you.
God. My feelings towards love are wrong. Lord would you please change these thoughts. Would you help me to understand how to truly express meaningful love and friendship without any guilt or shame.
God would you help me to talk all thoughts and feelings into submission to you and your athourity. Would you help me to rend my heart and soul to your authority.
God what do I do when I feel so close and yet can't
Lord, would your gospel spread in the earth as it is in this drama
Lord would you help me to earnestly pray for the persecuted church globally. Though it be difficult and saddening at times may I seize your hope and pray in faith for your glory to come and your Kingdom to be found in our hearts and those of all nations
Lord would you forgive the ways I have ignored my brother's and sisters who are in need even in my own church. Give me opportunities to show them your love. Give me a generous and compassionate heart that cares for others above myself."
Throughout the Urbana conference I would jot down thoughts and prayers on my phone. This is the first half of it, everything up to the evening of the 29th. There were quite a few tears and emotional moments over the week. A real tension between flesh and Spirit, wrong thoughts of worthlessness overcome through His purpose. God is good and emotions are fleeting, but need to be addressed.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
"I feel so broken and useless right now. God what am I doing here and what are you calling me to?
I feel so guilty for all I have done and yet I am standing here singing of how you died on the cross for me; you are risen and alive; you did it all for me and for the nations. Lord soften my heart and minister to my soul by your holy Spirit. Please.
God. All of me is not worth anything. God why do you desire for me to give you my all? What am I worth to you?
God would you teach you truths deep into my soul that I do have value in you. Lord that in your hands I can do amazing things. That I have already been able to see you save lives. May I never forget your greatness and power
God, you are healer and powerful, going to all people. Would you help me to trust in that power and authority as I surrender my life to you
And I'm loved by you. It's who I am
And you laid down your life that I would be set free. Jesus I sing for all that you've done for me
God you are good. A church without mission isn't a church. Thank you for the way you've been unifying OCBC through mission this last year. May you continue to do so more and more. More so, thank you for how mission has given me purpose identity and meaning.
God. Such of me doesn't want to obey and submit to you. So much of me wants to continue to be me and do what I want. Lord would you continue to strip away barriers; show your greatness and majesty; show your strength and turn my soul to you in everything. May I be less 50/50 and much more 90/10 following you if not 100/0. Lord. May you destroy this conflict in me. May the tension be nothing in comparison to the joy of following you.
God. My feelings towards love are wrong. Lord would you please change these thoughts. Would you help me to understand how to truly express meaningful love and friendship without any guilt or shame.
God would you help me to talk all thoughts and feelings into submission to you and your athourity. Would you help me to rend my heart and soul to your authority.
God what do I do when I feel so close and yet can't
Lord, would your gospel spread in the earth as it is in this drama
Lord would you help me to earnestly pray for the persecuted church globally. Though it be difficult and saddening at times may I seize your hope and pray in faith for your glory to come and your Kingdom to be found in our hearts and those of all nations
Lord would you forgive the ways I have ignored my brother's and sisters who are in need even in my own church. Give me opportunities to show them your love. Give me a generous and compassionate heart that cares for others above myself."
5.1.16
Urbana 15 'LiveBlog' 2
Dec 28
Yo. Today was so action packed, it felt like 14 days.
Times in the Pastor and Church leaders track I got to spend with 'Asian Canadian' church pastors who I actually know or had friends go to their churches.
Sessions today were interesting. Somewhat split focus between missions and activism.
Patrick Fung and Francis Chan are so great.
Got to hear Christopher Yuan speak and learned a bit of Hebrew which further helps me understand the Biblical stance on SSA stuff.
Lunch was crazzzy. [hundreds of people. one grocery store. use your imagination. haha. But I got out before the long line. Buuuut one of our roommates did not and there was a staircase behind the cashiers so I got to watch him slowly move through the line while people dropped things and weren't paying attention]
Mission is great.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
Dec 29
Yo. U15 eh? As usual it's making me uncomfortable and that's a good thing. There has been a large focus on unifying diverse parts of the body of Christ. [is that all I wrote that day? woooooooooow.]
Dec 30
Yo.
Today was crazy. Bible study was AMAZING! (Matt 25 in light of Matt 10 man!) Then David Platt was up talking about the woman who poured perfume on Jesus and how we need to have our whole hearts belong to Jesus, which really resonated with me. I'll tell you more about that later.
Prayer. A seminar on short-term mission (which was soooooooo good and I'll definitely talk more about this later), pastor discussion about partnering with parachurch (which due to poor attendance was not as good as I had been hoping for, honestly). Dinner. Main session which included a bunch of worship as well as communion and dramatic reenactment of the last supper and crucifixion. And now we're back. So much to talk about. So good. God's heart for the world is so large. His love so wide. Our sinso great and yet His grace is still more. May I grow to love Him more and mission flow out of it.
D.Fa
Yo. Today was so action packed, it felt like 14 days.
Times in the Pastor and Church leaders track I got to spend with 'Asian Canadian' church pastors who I actually know or had friends go to their churches.
Sessions today were interesting. Somewhat split focus between missions and activism.
Patrick Fung and Francis Chan are so great.
Got to hear Christopher Yuan speak and learned a bit of Hebrew which further helps me understand the Biblical stance on SSA stuff.
Lunch was crazzzy. [hundreds of people. one grocery store. use your imagination. haha. But I got out before the long line. Buuuut one of our roommates did not and there was a staircase behind the cashiers so I got to watch him slowly move through the line while people dropped things and weren't paying attention]
Mission is great.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
Dec 29
Yo. U15 eh? As usual it's making me uncomfortable and that's a good thing. There has been a large focus on unifying diverse parts of the body of Christ. [is that all I wrote that day? woooooooooow.]
Dec 30
Yo.
Today was crazy. Bible study was AMAZING! (Matt 25 in light of Matt 10 man!) Then David Platt was up talking about the woman who poured perfume on Jesus and how we need to have our whole hearts belong to Jesus, which really resonated with me. I'll tell you more about that later.
Prayer. A seminar on short-term mission (which was soooooooo good and I'll definitely talk more about this later), pastor discussion about partnering with parachurch (which due to poor attendance was not as good as I had been hoping for, honestly). Dinner. Main session which included a bunch of worship as well as communion and dramatic reenactment of the last supper and crucifixion. And now we're back. So much to talk about. So good. God's heart for the world is so large. His love so wide. Our sinso great and yet His grace is still more. May I grow to love Him more and mission flow out of it.
D.Fa
Urbana 15 'LiveBlog' 1
Dec 27
Yo.
"It's been a long day" my roommate just said. We were on a bus for nearly 22 hours? I didn't keep very good track and there was a time change. But I am now at Urbana and already it's a very different situation than last time. We got in pretty much on time, registered, got transit passes then went over to our hotel.
I'm actually so happy with my roommates. Part of why I came was to bring others and God brought these two guys (and my other friend who was also going, so he's rooming with us too).
Our room wasn't ready yet and we had plent of time and a transit pass, so we took the light rail towards the zoo. We ended up in the History museum and saw exhibits about the world's fair, coffee, and the arch. Then we figured the zoo wasn't worth going to in the rain, went back, checked in to the hotel (so spacious) then went for dinner.
Hardee's was really good. They were not prepared for a dinner rush though so 3 employees (cash, cook, manager) had to suddenly deal with 50 customers. Then we headed over to the dome.
Main session was crazy. We were down on the floor seating. Already worship has been in English, French, Spanish, Korean, Swahili (and Hebrew..? Hallelujah? no?). This evening's worship was primarily 'black church' style, repeat after me, pentecostal, y'know? But it was good to mix it up. After introductions from our 'coach' for the week and the main director guy, our main speaker for the week Patrick Fung (OMF) exposited Matt 2:1-19 and shared stories of ministry in China. Very convicting testimonies as well as sharing the stories in Matthew. The theme of the week is "What story will you tell?" about our stories, but more importantly, God's story.
This evening I was feeling very guilty and unworthy. That I was not suited to bring the gospel to anyone when I'm not living it out myself. This is something I'd been thinking about before the conference. Especially going to prayer ministry about those things sometime.
Ya.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
Yo.
"It's been a long day" my roommate just said. We were on a bus for nearly 22 hours? I didn't keep very good track and there was a time change. But I am now at Urbana and already it's a very different situation than last time. We got in pretty much on time, registered, got transit passes then went over to our hotel.
I'm actually so happy with my roommates. Part of why I came was to bring others and God brought these two guys (and my other friend who was also going, so he's rooming with us too).
Our room wasn't ready yet and we had plent of time and a transit pass, so we took the light rail towards the zoo. We ended up in the History museum and saw exhibits about the world's fair, coffee, and the arch. Then we figured the zoo wasn't worth going to in the rain, went back, checked in to the hotel (so spacious) then went for dinner.
Hardee's was really good. They were not prepared for a dinner rush though so 3 employees (cash, cook, manager) had to suddenly deal with 50 customers. Then we headed over to the dome.
Main session was crazy. We were down on the floor seating. Already worship has been in English, French, Spanish, Korean, Swahili (and Hebrew..? Hallelujah? no?). This evening's worship was primarily 'black church' style, repeat after me, pentecostal, y'know? But it was good to mix it up. After introductions from our 'coach' for the week and the main director guy, our main speaker for the week Patrick Fung (OMF) exposited Matt 2:1-19 and shared stories of ministry in China. Very convicting testimonies as well as sharing the stories in Matthew. The theme of the week is "What story will you tell?" about our stories, but more importantly, God's story.
This evening I was feeling very guilty and unworthy. That I was not suited to bring the gospel to anyone when I'm not living it out myself. This is something I'd been thinking about before the conference. Especially going to prayer ministry about those things sometime.
Ya.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
4.1.16
Rambling
Yo
I can be really lazy sometimes. But I want to get better too. Last week I was at this HUGE mission conference in St. Louis, Urbana, and it was amazing and very challenging as well. I really want to verbally process everything out here, but I also have crazy goals like going to bed before 12 everyday, reading 25 books this year, getting off of my laptop and cell phone by 10. In combination with me being lazy and me starting to knit a new shawl, I didn't spend any time today posting blog posts.
I had planned to wake up fairly early, read + pray, go to school, get a good chunk of literature research done, skype with a good brother of mine, do some more work, then come home and be free. Instead I woke up a bit late, it was cold outside and I don't know how to bus to school anymore, so I stayed home and watched youtube and anime while knitting until skype time.
Getting to talk with my good brother allowed me to talk through some of the things that I have been thinking about since Urbana and I always cherish the times we spend talking. His heart for God is so true and I greatly respect the disciplines he has developed to really keep him grounded in Christ. I'll definitely let you know more about this later, but I've been thinking a lot about long-term missions and what I'd need to do to prepare for that. He's in a very similar position and it was great hearing him out on that too.
Man. I'm not really looking forward to this semester. It's gonna be really tough spending so much time at Health Canada doing research alone in a lab. It's gonna be tough living with my housemates that I never really see or talk to and whom I don't really see eye to eye with. It's going to be tough trying to live a life of witness while being scared of the potentially tough conversations I'd have with lab mates. It will be tough. But Jesus never said it would be easy and it can't be as bad as I think. There will probably be other students in the lab at Health Canada. My housemates aren't as bad as I think and let's hope we communicate more this semester. I'm sure my lab mates at Carleton will be respectful and I'll be reading some apologetics books soon.
My good brother had this thing he does. When he learns something cool about God or apologetcs he goes and has a talk with a non-Christian person about it. Crazy. / So cool. haha.
*sigh*
This year will be good through the challenges. God is greater than the highs and the lows
Ttyl.
D.Fa
I can be really lazy sometimes. But I want to get better too. Last week I was at this HUGE mission conference in St. Louis, Urbana, and it was amazing and very challenging as well. I really want to verbally process everything out here, but I also have crazy goals like going to bed before 12 everyday, reading 25 books this year, getting off of my laptop and cell phone by 10. In combination with me being lazy and me starting to knit a new shawl, I didn't spend any time today posting blog posts.
I had planned to wake up fairly early, read + pray, go to school, get a good chunk of literature research done, skype with a good brother of mine, do some more work, then come home and be free. Instead I woke up a bit late, it was cold outside and I don't know how to bus to school anymore, so I stayed home and watched youtube and anime while knitting until skype time.
Getting to talk with my good brother allowed me to talk through some of the things that I have been thinking about since Urbana and I always cherish the times we spend talking. His heart for God is so true and I greatly respect the disciplines he has developed to really keep him grounded in Christ. I'll definitely let you know more about this later, but I've been thinking a lot about long-term missions and what I'd need to do to prepare for that. He's in a very similar position and it was great hearing him out on that too.
Man. I'm not really looking forward to this semester. It's gonna be really tough spending so much time at Health Canada doing research alone in a lab. It's gonna be tough living with my housemates that I never really see or talk to and whom I don't really see eye to eye with. It's going to be tough trying to live a life of witness while being scared of the potentially tough conversations I'd have with lab mates. It will be tough. But Jesus never said it would be easy and it can't be as bad as I think. There will probably be other students in the lab at Health Canada. My housemates aren't as bad as I think and let's hope we communicate more this semester. I'm sure my lab mates at Carleton will be respectful and I'll be reading some apologetics books soon.
My good brother had this thing he does. When he learns something cool about God or apologetcs he goes and has a talk with a non-Christian person about it. Crazy. / So cool. haha.
*sigh*
This year will be good through the challenges. God is greater than the highs and the lows
Ttyl.
D.Fa
24.12.15
New Eve
Yo,
it's Christmas eve. That's cool. It's also super weird for a lot of reasons. Aside from the fact that it was like 16 degrees today and sunny, there;s a number of other things. Normally at this time I'd be wrapping presents. Or 'presents'. bwahaha. But today my brother's boyfriend was coming over so I had to be all ready for today. So I actually get to go sleep in a minute. =D
Something normal though, every Christmas eve for a long time now me and my brother would get to open a present. It was always clothes to be worn the next day when our grandparents came over. Today I got a really nice sweater. And my dad explained that it was 'conditional' upon my complete destruction of my other sweater. You know, the black and grey one. My sweater! Why does everyone hate it!? It still works fine!! =O
Nothing else to say really. I baked a lot these last couple days. Oh! I discovered Clean Bandit the other day during MishMashFM and I proceeded to listen to all of their music on Spotify and now I'm a little addicted. They are so cool! Combining electronic and classical music. The main group is a string quartet. So cool. They have a song literally about classical music vs electronic music called "Mozart's House". This one is my current repeating favourite song: Stronger
So cool yo. Looking forward to Urbana in a few days.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
PS. O . O is Jesus is 'new Adam' why is the church never called 'new Eve'..? Is that biblical? ..?
it's Christmas eve. That's cool. It's also super weird for a lot of reasons. Aside from the fact that it was like 16 degrees today and sunny, there;s a number of other things. Normally at this time I'd be wrapping presents. Or 'presents'. bwahaha. But today my brother's boyfriend was coming over so I had to be all ready for today. So I actually get to go sleep in a minute. =D
Something normal though, every Christmas eve for a long time now me and my brother would get to open a present. It was always clothes to be worn the next day when our grandparents came over. Today I got a really nice sweater. And my dad explained that it was 'conditional' upon my complete destruction of my other sweater. You know, the black and grey one. My sweater! Why does everyone hate it!? It still works fine!! =O
Nothing else to say really. I baked a lot these last couple days. Oh! I discovered Clean Bandit the other day during MishMashFM and I proceeded to listen to all of their music on Spotify and now I'm a little addicted. They are so cool! Combining electronic and classical music. The main group is a string quartet. So cool. They have a song literally about classical music vs electronic music called "Mozart's House". This one is my current repeating favourite song: Stronger
So cool yo. Looking forward to Urbana in a few days.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
PS. O . O is Jesus is 'new Adam' why is the church never called 'new Eve'..? Is that biblical? ..?
23.12.15
Supply and Demand
Yo,
today was crazy. I've been sleeping in a bit, knitting a lot, and resting a bit because I don't know when or how, but it seems I bruised by left heel bone or something like that. But it's getting pretty close to Christmas know and so I had to go out and buy a bunch of stuff for my mom as gifts for my dad. I thought this might take an hour or so, but the buses didn't come at the beginning so I had to walk like 20 minutes to get to Walmart, then I did catch the bus, but then discovered I needed to go downtown to get something. Overall I was out for maybe 4 and a half hours or so? And it was raining. Which is still strange.
This whole season is a bit strange to me. One of the youtubers that I subscribe to was speaking in his latest video about a thought he is pondering lately. Having been diagnosed with cancer and going through surgery he's been thinking a lot and this time he spoke about what defines you. For him a lot of it comes down to what you produce, what you make, and how you interact with others. This whole season on the other hand seems to be defining yourself based on what you desire or what you can buy for others; a cycle of supply and demand.
For me this gets confusing because I don't ever really know what I want.
Every year my dad asks for a Christmas list and I've been getting worse and worse at letting him know anything that I actually want. I usually end up giving everything away to others who'd need it more. Or I end up doing nothing with it. I am not good at receiving gifts. But even outside of what I would physically want, I don't even really know what I want in life y'know? Like dream job or aspirations or where I'd be in 10 years. I'm not very good with those questions either.
And then even when I think I want something, why do I want it? Is it me that really wants it? Do I want it because of an exterior pressure? Do I want it because it would make others happy? Do I want it just because I've been told I want it? Do I want it because I've fooled myself into thinking I want it? What do I want?
I'm unsure.
When it comes to more deep questions, I still don't really know and in this season of my life especially I seem to be really torn and conflicted between the spirit and the flesh, and I won't go into details, but it's extremely annoying. The two are not compatible and I must choose one or the other to really experience either. But to choose one is to leave the other. I know what I should choose. But I don't believe it fully.
May God truly show me how much more meaningful and complete a life it is to follow His Spirit in everything, how His steadfast love is better than anything life could offer; may He give me true desire and ambition for my joy and His glory; may His Spirit guide and empower me.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
PS. But yesterday I got to talk with Andrew Huang during the brief period that MishMashFM was a thing. He should come to Ottawa. haha
today was crazy. I've been sleeping in a bit, knitting a lot, and resting a bit because I don't know when or how, but it seems I bruised by left heel bone or something like that. But it's getting pretty close to Christmas know and so I had to go out and buy a bunch of stuff for my mom as gifts for my dad. I thought this might take an hour or so, but the buses didn't come at the beginning so I had to walk like 20 minutes to get to Walmart, then I did catch the bus, but then discovered I needed to go downtown to get something. Overall I was out for maybe 4 and a half hours or so? And it was raining. Which is still strange.
This whole season is a bit strange to me. One of the youtubers that I subscribe to was speaking in his latest video about a thought he is pondering lately. Having been diagnosed with cancer and going through surgery he's been thinking a lot and this time he spoke about what defines you. For him a lot of it comes down to what you produce, what you make, and how you interact with others. This whole season on the other hand seems to be defining yourself based on what you desire or what you can buy for others; a cycle of supply and demand.
For me this gets confusing because I don't ever really know what I want.
Every year my dad asks for a Christmas list and I've been getting worse and worse at letting him know anything that I actually want. I usually end up giving everything away to others who'd need it more. Or I end up doing nothing with it. I am not good at receiving gifts. But even outside of what I would physically want, I don't even really know what I want in life y'know? Like dream job or aspirations or where I'd be in 10 years. I'm not very good with those questions either.
And then even when I think I want something, why do I want it? Is it me that really wants it? Do I want it because of an exterior pressure? Do I want it because it would make others happy? Do I want it just because I've been told I want it? Do I want it because I've fooled myself into thinking I want it? What do I want?
I'm unsure.
When it comes to more deep questions, I still don't really know and in this season of my life especially I seem to be really torn and conflicted between the spirit and the flesh, and I won't go into details, but it's extremely annoying. The two are not compatible and I must choose one or the other to really experience either. But to choose one is to leave the other. I know what I should choose. But I don't believe it fully.
May God truly show me how much more meaningful and complete a life it is to follow His Spirit in everything, how His steadfast love is better than anything life could offer; may He give me true desire and ambition for my joy and His glory; may His Spirit guide and empower me.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
PS. But yesterday I got to talk with Andrew Huang during the brief period that MishMashFM was a thing. He should come to Ottawa. haha
21.12.15
Gold. Dark. Red. Clean. Green.
Yo.
A few weeks ago I was talking with a good friend of mine and we were walking and talking. She asked about an apologetics conference I had attended and my thoughts on it. I told her about one of the biggest things for me was the idea that people were not originally created as perfect creatures. Although God said good, even very good, he did not say perfect. And I explained how a number of times myself or others had explained the gospel with that as one of the points 'people were made perfect, but because of sin we became separated'. People would then ask questions about how we could be perfect and then be made to sin, etc. etc. But we were not perfect. Adam and Eve were good, but not perfect. We were never perfect and therefore, knowing we would fall short of His glory and perfection, God would have to do something to make a way for us to be reconciled to Him.
After I had said something along those lines, my friend was slightly astonished. She asked where I had learned that? (that people were made perfect) So I explained about how waaaaaaay back in Youth Fellowship our youth leader had given us these bracelets with 5 beads representing the gospel: gold - representing God and our relationship before the fall, how we were perfect and in perfect relationship with Him; dark - representing that fall into sin and impurity, brokenness, and corruption; red - representing Christ's blood on the cross which was shed to make a way for us to be reconciled; clean - representing our newness of life in Christ, righteousness white as snow, clean before God because of Christ's great exchange; and green - a growing relationship with God as we daily live following Him in spirit and truth.
Still astonished. I think she may have punched my arm. Probably not. She explained that the gold bead wasn't about people at all, but about God and about the streets of the new Jerusalem that was to come where we again would live in relationship with God. She said more than that, and she said it as if I was a 4 year old (she had learned much from the Child Evangelism Fellowship).
And my eyes were opened! Then I started thinking, maybe this is why I always thought I needed to be perfect before coming to God, because I thought perfection is what was needed to be in relationship with Him (as I had though Adam and Eve showed).
But in the Bible people are never spoken of as being perfect in their own ability. It goes on endlessly about how no one is righteous, not even one, none could stand before God, people feared angels, people thought they'd die in God's presence. People are not perfect, especially after the fall, but before too. In other places it does however refer to God as holy and perfect. (Lev20:26, Deut14:2, Josh24:19, Matt5:48, 1Pet1:16, etc.) and the streets of new Jerusalem, where God will be our light, as being golden. It also speaks of our need for repentance and to claim forgiveness in Christ, to deny ourselves and follow after Him.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
A few weeks ago I was talking with a good friend of mine and we were walking and talking. She asked about an apologetics conference I had attended and my thoughts on it. I told her about one of the biggest things for me was the idea that people were not originally created as perfect creatures. Although God said good, even very good, he did not say perfect. And I explained how a number of times myself or others had explained the gospel with that as one of the points 'people were made perfect, but because of sin we became separated'. People would then ask questions about how we could be perfect and then be made to sin, etc. etc. But we were not perfect. Adam and Eve were good, but not perfect. We were never perfect and therefore, knowing we would fall short of His glory and perfection, God would have to do something to make a way for us to be reconciled to Him.
After I had said something along those lines, my friend was slightly astonished. She asked where I had learned that? (that people were made perfect) So I explained about how waaaaaaay back in Youth Fellowship our youth leader had given us these bracelets with 5 beads representing the gospel: gold - representing God and our relationship before the fall, how we were perfect and in perfect relationship with Him; dark - representing that fall into sin and impurity, brokenness, and corruption; red - representing Christ's blood on the cross which was shed to make a way for us to be reconciled; clean - representing our newness of life in Christ, righteousness white as snow, clean before God because of Christ's great exchange; and green - a growing relationship with God as we daily live following Him in spirit and truth.
Still astonished. I think she may have punched my arm. Probably not. She explained that the gold bead wasn't about people at all, but about God and about the streets of the new Jerusalem that was to come where we again would live in relationship with God. She said more than that, and she said it as if I was a 4 year old (she had learned much from the Child Evangelism Fellowship).
And my eyes were opened! Then I started thinking, maybe this is why I always thought I needed to be perfect before coming to God, because I thought perfection is what was needed to be in relationship with Him (as I had though Adam and Eve showed).
But in the Bible people are never spoken of as being perfect in their own ability. It goes on endlessly about how no one is righteous, not even one, none could stand before God, people feared angels, people thought they'd die in God's presence. People are not perfect, especially after the fall, but before too. In other places it does however refer to God as holy and perfect. (Lev20:26, Deut14:2, Josh24:19, Matt5:48, 1Pet1:16, etc.) and the streets of new Jerusalem, where God will be our light, as being golden. It also speaks of our need for repentance and to claim forgiveness in Christ, to deny ourselves and follow after Him.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
20.12.15
Vulnerability
Yo,
So, it's nearly Christmas and I've been knitting a lot, so I'm running out of things that I actively want to watch while knitting, and aside from Beautiful Bones -- Sakurako's Investigation (excellent anime!), and the people I am subscribed to on youtube, and the new digimon anime (not very good in my opinion), I've needed to find some new things. Today I started watching some TED talks.
The first couple were about apleoanthropology and the origins of man and stuff like that related to cave paintings and Salem. The next was about public health and wealth distribution inequality and stats. Then I got to one that I had seen a couple times before, so I was about to skip over it. But I decided to watch it anyways.
It is titled "The Power of Vulnerability by Brene Brown". Feel free to watch it now before I spoil any of it. It is WELL worth your 18 minutes. I rarely, like really, RARELY rewatch anything. Seriously, I just liked the video and added it to a new public playlist called 'favourites' and I will very very likely watch it again.
I think there's a whole lot of great things that Dr. Brown says in her talk. Like a lot. Many things that cut me to my heart. Things that I 100% relate to in her own story. And so much of it I see as very biblical too. Loving yourself and others because of the worth Christ has shown us and grace He has given us. I find it very difficult to allow for uncertainty in what I do. And owning up to weakness keeps me distanced from others.
So ya, really great talk. May God help me to be more vulnerable and to experience His joy and goodness without numbing out all emotions.
"you know what, you're imperfect and you're wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging"
D.Fa
So, it's nearly Christmas and I've been knitting a lot, so I'm running out of things that I actively want to watch while knitting, and aside from Beautiful Bones -- Sakurako's Investigation (excellent anime!), and the people I am subscribed to on youtube, and the new digimon anime (not very good in my opinion), I've needed to find some new things. Today I started watching some TED talks.
The first couple were about apleoanthropology and the origins of man and stuff like that related to cave paintings and Salem. The next was about public health and wealth distribution inequality and stats. Then I got to one that I had seen a couple times before, so I was about to skip over it. But I decided to watch it anyways.
It is titled "The Power of Vulnerability by Brene Brown". Feel free to watch it now before I spoil any of it. It is WELL worth your 18 minutes. I rarely, like really, RARELY rewatch anything. Seriously, I just liked the video and added it to a new public playlist called 'favourites' and I will very very likely watch it again.
I think there's a whole lot of great things that Dr. Brown says in her talk. Like a lot. Many things that cut me to my heart. Things that I 100% relate to in her own story. And so much of it I see as very biblical too. Loving yourself and others because of the worth Christ has shown us and grace He has given us. I find it very difficult to allow for uncertainty in what I do. And owning up to weakness keeps me distanced from others.
So ya, really great talk. May God help me to be more vulnerable and to experience His joy and goodness without numbing out all emotions.
"you know what, you're imperfect and you're wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging"
D.Fa
18.10.15
An Element of Truth
I was watching a video on youtube by 2Veratasium (like a side channel for Veratasium that is just like rambling vlogs and personal blah blah (PS. Veratasium is a pretty sweet youtube channel that is super smart and is run by this physicist guy)) and I was thinking about various things while procrastinating and knitting.
The guy quoted Einstein. "There are only two ways to live your life; as though nothing is a miracle, or as if everything is." And the guy briefly talks on this point and I really enjoyed that video because it was just about how everything around us is amazing; science is amazing. Point: it made me remember last Saturday. Instead of having a real Young Adults Fellowship Bible Study time or whatever, a bunch of us just got together and hung out. Since I no longer needed to lead a discussion or anything I took out my laptop and got back to the task at hand: copy and pasting every single blog post into a word document so I could proofread and then count the word frequency for my Zipf adventure.
As I had mentioned previously, this Zipf mystery or whatever it should be properly referred to as, is amazing and I wanted to see it in action. My friend AS brought these chocolate chip cookies to the hang out. They were perfectly light and fluffy and melt-in-your-mouth amazing. As I'm copy and pasting, people start asking why, and I explain how amazing Zipf is and that I want to test it and a couple of the guys were well-learned in computer science and code and one thing led to another and then the two of them were spending an hour trying to convert an exported code text file of my blog into a useful format with only the words. They ended up coding like 2 screens worth of code which produced a page that had all of the content from my entire blog separated by year. =O Computer scientists are amazing. I was sitting there dumbstruck the entire time, but their fingers were flying and web pages of standard code were being referenced. Amazing. What would have taken me a week or two took them like an hour or so. Craziness.
The next day after church I was just amazed by so many things.
Weather
Botany
Computer Science
Linguistics
Knitting / Crochet
Math
Biology
etc.
even Policy Management
(Admittedly I have yet to properly understand the amazingness of political science, but we'll see. ;P)
And then a day later or maybe a few days everything can be terrible. My yarn gets tangled. Conflict with my housemates. Onset guilt for lack of academic productivity recently. Struggle with sin. Drop in temperature. Late buses.
Suddenly everything is terrible, when nothing had actually changed, but my attitude and lens to see life.
This makes me think all the more that it's true: when you see everything as amazing and miraculous things are awesome, and when you start to see everything as terrible things get pretty terrible.
James 1:17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
Everything we have is from God and it was made good. (Refer to Genesis 1.)
But what is doubly amazing here is that God is unchanging. In the midst of my continual and sudden changes He remains the same.
May He continue to help me build my foundation upon the solid rock of Christ. May He continue to open my eyes to the amazingness of His creation around me. May He continue to show me more of Him.
D.Fa out
PS. One of the things I was thinking about while watching Veritasium was about how I seem to be replacing a lack of social connection with youtube. Idk. Not good definitely. But the answer shouldn't be to simply cut it off. I need to replace youtube with real people. ttyl
The guy quoted Einstein. "There are only two ways to live your life; as though nothing is a miracle, or as if everything is." And the guy briefly talks on this point and I really enjoyed that video because it was just about how everything around us is amazing; science is amazing. Point: it made me remember last Saturday. Instead of having a real Young Adults Fellowship Bible Study time or whatever, a bunch of us just got together and hung out. Since I no longer needed to lead a discussion or anything I took out my laptop and got back to the task at hand: copy and pasting every single blog post into a word document so I could proofread and then count the word frequency for my Zipf adventure.
As I had mentioned previously, this Zipf mystery or whatever it should be properly referred to as, is amazing and I wanted to see it in action. My friend AS brought these chocolate chip cookies to the hang out. They were perfectly light and fluffy and melt-in-your-mouth amazing. As I'm copy and pasting, people start asking why, and I explain how amazing Zipf is and that I want to test it and a couple of the guys were well-learned in computer science and code and one thing led to another and then the two of them were spending an hour trying to convert an exported code text file of my blog into a useful format with only the words. They ended up coding like 2 screens worth of code which produced a page that had all of the content from my entire blog separated by year. =O Computer scientists are amazing. I was sitting there dumbstruck the entire time, but their fingers were flying and web pages of standard code were being referenced. Amazing. What would have taken me a week or two took them like an hour or so. Craziness.
The next day after church I was just amazed by so many things.
Weather
Botany
Computer Science
Linguistics
Knitting / Crochet
Math
Biology
etc.
even Policy Management
(Admittedly I have yet to properly understand the amazingness of political science, but we'll see. ;P)
And then a day later or maybe a few days everything can be terrible. My yarn gets tangled. Conflict with my housemates. Onset guilt for lack of academic productivity recently. Struggle with sin. Drop in temperature. Late buses.
Suddenly everything is terrible, when nothing had actually changed, but my attitude and lens to see life.
This makes me think all the more that it's true: when you see everything as amazing and miraculous things are awesome, and when you start to see everything as terrible things get pretty terrible.
James 1:17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
Everything we have is from God and it was made good. (Refer to Genesis 1.)
But what is doubly amazing here is that God is unchanging. In the midst of my continual and sudden changes He remains the same.
May He continue to help me build my foundation upon the solid rock of Christ. May He continue to open my eyes to the amazingness of His creation around me. May He continue to show me more of Him.
D.Fa out
PS. One of the things I was thinking about while watching Veritasium was about how I seem to be replacing a lack of social connection with youtube. Idk. Not good definitely. But the answer shouldn't be to simply cut it off. I need to replace youtube with real people. ttyl
9.10.15
Zipf Fun
Yo,
So, I've been rather unproductive, I feel, but at the same time, I think I have done a lot. Maybe at the same time though, I need rest and now I'm not doing much because of that need? I don't know. Whenever I end up feeling like this I get guilty for not really doing anything. Idk.
I've probably also been watching too much youtube. It's a mixture of my regular subscriptions, cake/dessert DIYs, and super smart Vsauce, Veratasium, MinuteEarth, etc. So, I feel like I'm learning a bunch, but I'm probably not really learning that much because it's kinda in one ear out the other?
The other day I was watching this super neat Vsauce video about the Zipf Mystery, which in essence says that in language, all language, we tend to use some words more than other words. What's crazy about that is that if you then rank them in order of use there is a logarithmic relationship. The less used they are, they become exponentially less used and in relation to the 1st word are used about 1/x where x is their ranking. And it's been shown that this is the case in books, in whole sums of authors' works. It's crazy!
I'm really interested in both linguistics and in science, so this greatly appeals to me. Additionally, I just so happen to have a compilation of my works, aka, a blog. So I can actually test this. haha. So, allow me to do so. I realize I have many many many blog posts, so this may take a bit of time. But I also don't want to waste my time, so I'm gonna try to do this as fast as possible. xP
Ttyl.
D.Fa
PS. For this post it is following a somewhat logarithmic distribution! 289 words, 161 unique words. On the left is the simple frequency vs word, on the right is the frequency vs word rank on a log scales with the red being a ideal Zipf distribution if the 1st word had 50 repetitions. this is a tiny sample though.
So, I've been rather unproductive, I feel, but at the same time, I think I have done a lot. Maybe at the same time though, I need rest and now I'm not doing much because of that need? I don't know. Whenever I end up feeling like this I get guilty for not really doing anything. Idk.
I've probably also been watching too much youtube. It's a mixture of my regular subscriptions, cake/dessert DIYs, and super smart Vsauce, Veratasium, MinuteEarth, etc. So, I feel like I'm learning a bunch, but I'm probably not really learning that much because it's kinda in one ear out the other?
The other day I was watching this super neat Vsauce video about the Zipf Mystery, which in essence says that in language, all language, we tend to use some words more than other words. What's crazy about that is that if you then rank them in order of use there is a logarithmic relationship. The less used they are, they become exponentially less used and in relation to the 1st word are used about 1/x where x is their ranking. And it's been shown that this is the case in books, in whole sums of authors' works. It's crazy!
I'm really interested in both linguistics and in science, so this greatly appeals to me. Additionally, I just so happen to have a compilation of my works, aka, a blog. So I can actually test this. haha. So, allow me to do so. I realize I have many many many blog posts, so this may take a bit of time. But I also don't want to waste my time, so I'm gonna try to do this as fast as possible. xP
Ttyl.
D.Fa
PS. For this post it is following a somewhat logarithmic distribution! 289 words, 161 unique words. On the left is the simple frequency vs word, on the right is the frequency vs word rank on a log scales with the red being a ideal Zipf distribution if the 1st word had 50 repetitions. this is a tiny sample though.
5.10.15
God is sooooo Good.
Yo.
So, when I am down and really struggling with sin I end up beating myself up and beginning to believe how worthless I am and that nothing good will come from me and that I should isolate myself to minimize damage and that I need to work on myself before anything happens. And then I get depressed because of how bleak my future would be looking.
But grace is sooooo much more than sin and God is sooooo much better than we can ever imagine. Even when I am down He picks me up. He shows me that He values me. He shows me that He can work in and through me. He shows me that following Him and helping others to do so is worth so much more than trying to hide. God can overcome anything in my life. He will bring to completion what He has started. He is good. Always.
A couple weeks ago I was given the opportunity to talk to a Masters student at Carleton. I hadn't met her in person yet, but she was emailing the P2C email account, which I was overseeing. So I messaged her back and we got to meet up. It was amazing! Like literally, we just started talking and getting to know each other and then she was asking about Jesus. God has been doing a lot in her life, various tough times, and a bunch of friends sharing Christ with her, and now she is seeking on her own. She doesn't want her friends to bias her search, which is cool, but they're gonna be so happy when she finally tells them. haha. We were looking at the Knowing God Personally booklet, which outlines 4 basic points of the gospel, and she was asking sooooooo many questions and was sooooo interested in hearing more! After point 2: we are separated from God because of our sin and there's nothing we can do about it on our own, she was pretty bummed out, but point 3 is amazing and I was so excited about it and then she got so excited about it! Man. We talked for like an hour and a half about the Bible and who God is and why we love sharing the good news with others in P2C. She told me about the Prince of Egypt movie and I told her more of the story in the wilderness and of God's faithfulness. So good. We haven't been able to meet up recently, but I am going to try meeting up this week. She said she'd be happy to meet up and talk more about God! Please pray for her!
And then at Summit this weekend, after the Saturday evening session I saw a girl sitting alone and felt prompted to go talk to her. Carleton was going to do something and I was told to hurry up, but whatever, I'd rather follow this prompting and talk to her. So I sat in a chair beside her and asked what was up? She was a little overwhelmed with what God had been telling her. In the session they had shown a video about mission trips and how there are so many people around the world who have never heard the good news of Jesus, and she felt really compelled to go. Well, actually, at first she was just kinda crying and didn't know how to explain anything, so I prayed for her a bit encouraging her that no matter what difficult situation she was going through or felt God calling her to that He is good, that He would provide, and that He loved her deeply. She also was feeling convicted in regards to decisions she had been making. She had felt called to go to a University away from her home town so she could be pushed outside her comfort zone and rely on God, but she had been not taking those steps, she had been coasting, she had been defensive. I don't remember all of the details anymore, but she was feeling super convicted by the Spirit to trust God more and follow Him wherever He was calling her, and that's amazing! So I asked if she could pray, and then I prayed for her too. She was so much happier afterwards and more sure of what God was telling her. Please pray for her too! I'm so glad I stopped to talk with her and listened to God. So much of what she was saying I resonated with and was also convicted of. < 3 God is so good!
I literally love ministry and experiencing God through it. I don't remember exactly what she said, but the speaker at Summit said something about how we don't do ministry for God, when we participate in ministry it is us experiencing and allowing God to live in and through us. I don't want to ever stop serving others around me. I don't ever want to believe lies about myself. I want to submit everything to God and continue to serve wherever I go by His Spirit in me.
God is so good.
Seriously.
If you've never really met Him you should read the book of John and ask for God to reveal Himself to you, and talk to a friend of yours who does know God. And if you do know God, let's pray that He lets us get to know Him more, that we take steps of faith and grow in our relationship with Him, experiencing His power and presence in everything we do!
God is sooooo good.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
So, when I am down and really struggling with sin I end up beating myself up and beginning to believe how worthless I am and that nothing good will come from me and that I should isolate myself to minimize damage and that I need to work on myself before anything happens. And then I get depressed because of how bleak my future would be looking.
But grace is sooooo much more than sin and God is sooooo much better than we can ever imagine. Even when I am down He picks me up. He shows me that He values me. He shows me that He can work in and through me. He shows me that following Him and helping others to do so is worth so much more than trying to hide. God can overcome anything in my life. He will bring to completion what He has started. He is good. Always.
A couple weeks ago I was given the opportunity to talk to a Masters student at Carleton. I hadn't met her in person yet, but she was emailing the P2C email account, which I was overseeing. So I messaged her back and we got to meet up. It was amazing! Like literally, we just started talking and getting to know each other and then she was asking about Jesus. God has been doing a lot in her life, various tough times, and a bunch of friends sharing Christ with her, and now she is seeking on her own. She doesn't want her friends to bias her search, which is cool, but they're gonna be so happy when she finally tells them. haha. We were looking at the Knowing God Personally booklet, which outlines 4 basic points of the gospel, and she was asking sooooooo many questions and was sooooo interested in hearing more! After point 2: we are separated from God because of our sin and there's nothing we can do about it on our own, she was pretty bummed out, but point 3 is amazing and I was so excited about it and then she got so excited about it! Man. We talked for like an hour and a half about the Bible and who God is and why we love sharing the good news with others in P2C. She told me about the Prince of Egypt movie and I told her more of the story in the wilderness and of God's faithfulness. So good. We haven't been able to meet up recently, but I am going to try meeting up this week. She said she'd be happy to meet up and talk more about God! Please pray for her!
And then at Summit this weekend, after the Saturday evening session I saw a girl sitting alone and felt prompted to go talk to her. Carleton was going to do something and I was told to hurry up, but whatever, I'd rather follow this prompting and talk to her. So I sat in a chair beside her and asked what was up? She was a little overwhelmed with what God had been telling her. In the session they had shown a video about mission trips and how there are so many people around the world who have never heard the good news of Jesus, and she felt really compelled to go. Well, actually, at first she was just kinda crying and didn't know how to explain anything, so I prayed for her a bit encouraging her that no matter what difficult situation she was going through or felt God calling her to that He is good, that He would provide, and that He loved her deeply. She also was feeling convicted in regards to decisions she had been making. She had felt called to go to a University away from her home town so she could be pushed outside her comfort zone and rely on God, but she had been not taking those steps, she had been coasting, she had been defensive. I don't remember all of the details anymore, but she was feeling super convicted by the Spirit to trust God more and follow Him wherever He was calling her, and that's amazing! So I asked if she could pray, and then I prayed for her too. She was so much happier afterwards and more sure of what God was telling her. Please pray for her too! I'm so glad I stopped to talk with her and listened to God. So much of what she was saying I resonated with and was also convicted of. < 3 God is so good!
I literally love ministry and experiencing God through it. I don't remember exactly what she said, but the speaker at Summit said something about how we don't do ministry for God, when we participate in ministry it is us experiencing and allowing God to live in and through us. I don't want to ever stop serving others around me. I don't ever want to believe lies about myself. I want to submit everything to God and continue to serve wherever I go by His Spirit in me.
God is so good.
Seriously.
If you've never really met Him you should read the book of John and ask for God to reveal Himself to you, and talk to a friend of yours who does know God. And if you do know God, let's pray that He lets us get to know Him more, that we take steps of faith and grow in our relationship with Him, experiencing His power and presence in everything we do!
God is sooooo good.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
4.10.15
Intent and Simplicity
I have so much I want to say right now, but I feel like I always miss the right time to say it.
I don't want endlessly long posts, which would bore.
I often don't want to post super real posts which might affect the way people see me and so I wait too long and then forget what I was feeling or it is no longer relevant anyways.
I waste too much of my time and end up feeling like I don't have the time to say anything.
I want to get back to regularly blogging. I have been keeping a short list of things that I'd write about on a memo on my phone.
I intend to get to them, but we'll see. Let me just say though that this weekend was amazing and God is awesome and so good.
The gospel in all it's crazy power to save all who would believe it from the rightful and just wrath we deserve, can be so simply received through faith, not by works. So simple.
And more than that, God doesn't just save us so we are saved. He saves us so that we may then experience Him and know true life in Him.
Just reflecting on these things and others after a retreat with P2C. God is good all the time.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
I don't want endlessly long posts, which would bore.
I often don't want to post super real posts which might affect the way people see me and so I wait too long and then forget what I was feeling or it is no longer relevant anyways.
I waste too much of my time and end up feeling like I don't have the time to say anything.
I want to get back to regularly blogging. I have been keeping a short list of things that I'd write about on a memo on my phone.
I intend to get to them, but we'll see. Let me just say though that this weekend was amazing and God is awesome and so good.
The gospel in all it's crazy power to save all who would believe it from the rightful and just wrath we deserve, can be so simply received through faith, not by works. So simple.
And more than that, God doesn't just save us so we are saved. He saves us so that we may then experience Him and know true life in Him.
Just reflecting on these things and others after a retreat with P2C. God is good all the time.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
21.9.15
Ingress.
Yo, so, I've been playing this game called Ingress. And I was very skeptical at first, but it is amazing. haha
I started playing it after the trailer for Pokémon GO. I was so excited about it that I posted a bunch on facebook about how excited I was for it to finally be happening (a REAL LIFE Pokémon game!) and a friend of mine said that Niantic (the company which is partnering with Nintendo/Pokémon) had made a previous game named Ingress. So, out of curiosity, I downloaded the game.
I started playing over by Lees station, finished the tutorial and really didn't know what was happening. haha. All I knew is that these alien guys are trying to brainwash us using this exotic matter (XM) and my team wanted to ensure that didn't happen. We are called the Resistance. The other team refers to themselves as 'the Enlightened' and wants to use the energy to take humanity to the next level of evolution. Nothing good can come from that I think.
All around the world in places of cultural or historical significance 'portals' are located where the XM flows through more rapidly. You can hack portals to get items: portal keys, resonators, XM cubes, weapons, and more. Using resonators we can make the portal ours, and using portal keys we can link them together and when 3 are linked to each other a control field is created. Fields and links block the other team from forming links and taking territory. And you can take back a portal by destroying all of the enemy resonators and setting up your own.
I took one portal. And then another. The following morning I went for a walk around the neighborhood. It was awesome. So many portals. All mine. haha
I went to school and saw how green it was. I took out a portal, the pendulum, and started to plan how I could take it all with AG and JC who I had recruited. However, soon after I discovered that there were a number of very high level green agents who I definitely could not defeat on my own. Specifically there was a green agent whose name was similar to mine. I was thousand-year dragon and he was black dragon. He would be my biggest rival, but I needed help from some other agents. So I messaged some of the agents who had blue portals at school and they responded!
The next day I got to meet up with 5 agents. They were super nice. haha. One girl took a couple of us around and just destroyed all the portals and gave us experience. xP The next day I was messaged and got to meet up with a couple other agents. Something that is hilarious though is that there was apparently talk that black dragon had made a blue account just to spy on us. People had though that I was just a fake account. haha. So funny. There's also a kind of derision towards Ingress players who all started just because of Pokémon GO. haha. Whatever. I think I've proven myself.
But this game is amazing. And playing in real life and getting to meet up with the others, the whole thing makes it feel so much like an anime. haha. One where the world just happens to be ignorant of the present danger they are in and a few select people have been given the power to fight back and save the innocent civilians. Something like Yuki Yuna wa Yusha de Aru or Shakugan no Shana or something. But meeting up in person also made me think of like Durarara or Paranoia Agent or .//hack or even The Guild web series. haha.
I can't wait for Pokémon though.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
I started playing it after the trailer for Pokémon GO. I was so excited about it that I posted a bunch on facebook about how excited I was for it to finally be happening (a REAL LIFE Pokémon game!) and a friend of mine said that Niantic (the company which is partnering with Nintendo/Pokémon) had made a previous game named Ingress. So, out of curiosity, I downloaded the game.
I started playing over by Lees station, finished the tutorial and really didn't know what was happening. haha. All I knew is that these alien guys are trying to brainwash us using this exotic matter (XM) and my team wanted to ensure that didn't happen. We are called the Resistance. The other team refers to themselves as 'the Enlightened' and wants to use the energy to take humanity to the next level of evolution. Nothing good can come from that I think.
All around the world in places of cultural or historical significance 'portals' are located where the XM flows through more rapidly. You can hack portals to get items: portal keys, resonators, XM cubes, weapons, and more. Using resonators we can make the portal ours, and using portal keys we can link them together and when 3 are linked to each other a control field is created. Fields and links block the other team from forming links and taking territory. And you can take back a portal by destroying all of the enemy resonators and setting up your own.
I took one portal. And then another. The following morning I went for a walk around the neighborhood. It was awesome. So many portals. All mine. haha
I went to school and saw how green it was. I took out a portal, the pendulum, and started to plan how I could take it all with AG and JC who I had recruited. However, soon after I discovered that there were a number of very high level green agents who I definitely could not defeat on my own. Specifically there was a green agent whose name was similar to mine. I was thousand-year dragon and he was black dragon. He would be my biggest rival, but I needed help from some other agents. So I messaged some of the agents who had blue portals at school and they responded!
The next day I got to meet up with 5 agents. They were super nice. haha. One girl took a couple of us around and just destroyed all the portals and gave us experience. xP The next day I was messaged and got to meet up with a couple other agents. Something that is hilarious though is that there was apparently talk that black dragon had made a blue account just to spy on us. People had though that I was just a fake account. haha. So funny. There's also a kind of derision towards Ingress players who all started just because of Pokémon GO. haha. Whatever. I think I've proven myself.
But this game is amazing. And playing in real life and getting to meet up with the others, the whole thing makes it feel so much like an anime. haha. One where the world just happens to be ignorant of the present danger they are in and a few select people have been given the power to fight back and save the innocent civilians. Something like Yuki Yuna wa Yusha de Aru or Shakugan no Shana or something. But meeting up in person also made me think of like Durarara or Paranoia Agent or .//hack or even The Guild web series. haha.
I can't wait for Pokémon though.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
14.9.15
Seminar on Anything
So, today I had to give a 15 minute talk on anything I wanted to for my Chemistry Grad Seminar class. Someone was interested in reading it when I told them what I was writing about, so, here it is. haha
A Brief History of the Origins of the Pokémon Franchise
Pre-Intro:
I was told that I could speak on anything, but I didn’t want to just
tell you what it was. So here is the question: My topic relates to each of the
following major names, what is it?
Macy’s (an American department store and holding company worth about
6.5 billion)
NASA (National Aeronautics and Space Administration in the US with an
annual budget of 18 billion)
FIFA (Fédération
Internationale de Football Association with 209 national associations)
Google (American technology company with equity more than $100 billion)
Sydney Opera House (completed in 1973, national icon of Australia)
Nintendo (Japanese consumer electronics company with equity more than $10
billion)
Since 2001 there has been a balloon of Pikachu, the electric mouse
Pokémon, in Macy’s annual Thanksgiving parade in New York as well as other
characters in certain years.
In 2005 NASA partnered with the Pokémon Trading Card Game to help
children learn the real science related to popular characters.
For the FIFA 2014 World Cup in Brazil, Pikachu was the mascot for the
Japanese team.
In 2014 Google’s annual April Fool’s Day prank featured a google map
modification which allowed you to find and catch Pokémon on the map around the
world. And this week the announcement was made that catching Pokémon in real
life will become a reality as Niantic Inc., a software development start-up
from Google, will partner to produce Pokémon GO, a smartphone augmented reality
game, to be released in 2016.
Since 2014 an orchestra performance has been touring in the US, Europe,
Canada, and in late November they will be playing at the Sydney Opera House. In
the concert they play orchestral renditions of songs from the many games.
So now we should all be aware of this: my topic is Pokémon, but
specifically a brief look at the origins of this franchise giant and some of
how it got to where it is today.
Intro:
Before we dive into the origins, let me give you one last look at how
large a global power Pokémon is. Aside from its many substantial international
partnerships, including those mentioned earlier, the franchise has had over 70 video
games on multiple systems, nearly 1000 television episodes, 18 movies, numerous
manga or comic book series, a trading card game, action figures, stuffed
animals, board games and every sort of merchandise you can imagine as well as
its very own store in Japan. Recognizable by nearly anyone around the world, captivating
the imagination of children, spanning generations, and now having 721 monsters
to collect, battle, and trade, the Pokémon franchise has grown into an
international phenomenon worth nearly 40 billion US dollars. With endless
creativity and innovation, Pokémon has grown an international fan base, but how
did it get to where it is today? Today I will be briefly explaining the origins
of the franchise and some of the major events in its nearly 20 year history.
The Beginnings:
Satoshi Tajiri, as a child living in suburban Tokyo had fond memories
of catching insects and tadpoles near his house. The spots where he had
previously hunted for creatures had been paved over. As he grew up his
interests switched to video games. He went to the Tokyo National College of
Technology and got more involved in the gaming world. He learned programming
language, started a gaming magazine, and in 1989 founded the game development
company known as GAME FREAK inc.
In the early 90s he saw two children playing on their Nintendo Gameboys
with a link cable and he imagined bugs crawling across the cables. This is
where the original concept of catching and trading monsters began. Having lost
the spaces where children could catch insects and tadpoles, he wanted to give
modern children a chance to experience the same. The original concept had a
number of differences from the games as we know them now, but with a majority
of the same features including the monsters, balls to catch them in, battles
between trainers, trading between games and more. It was designed to take a few
minutes at a time between things wherever you are.
He pitched the idea to Nintendo multiple times and eventually, although
still somewhat confused they supported him. Development took six years and 190 Pokémon
were created. The first of which was Rhydon, not Bulbasaur as one might imagine.
Of that original group, 151 were programmed into the game with Pokémon 151,
Mew, being kept a secret from the public which they could use as a post-release
event if needed. The others would be saved for later games. The long
development process actually caused GAME FREAK to nearly run bankrupt with a
few employees quitting and Tajiri working unpaid overtime.
Release:
Pokémon Red and Green version released in Japan in February 1996 –
within the game you catch and train Pokémon with the goal of defeating 8 other
strong trainers (known as gym leaders), the elite four and your rival, as well
as the crime syndicate Team Rocket, but the overarching goal was to catch all known
species, which required trading certain monsters from the separate games.
Nearing the end of the Gameboy’s life, with the Gameboy color not far
away, Pokémon only had modest sales.
However, once the 151st Pokémon, Mew, was discovered by some
fans the story changed. Shortly after, Nintendo held a submission contest,
promising this legendary Pokémon Mew to 20 entrants. 78,000 applied and interest
in the game sky rocketed and the games would end up being the best-sellers of
the handheld.
This new success prompted the company to prepare Blue version, which
corrected many glitches and had updated graphics. This was released in October
of 1996 and around the same time the Trading card game and various Manga
adaptations began.
Early the following year the television adaptation began and due to its
popularity a final version of the game was released in 1998 with gameplay more
similar to the anime, especially with your starter Pokémon, Pikachu, walking
behind you.
With Yellow version released a precedent was set for the continued
release of new games in sets of 3. Each time with 2 main games, and 1 released
slightly later with some upgraded features.
Moving International:
Due to the popularity of the games in Japan, international releases of
the games and television show began in 1998 with the new slogan “Gotta catch
‘em all!”. The anime continued to excite fans and the first movie did extremely
well in theatres, grossing 10 million on the first day, and 67 in the first 12
days. It did so well as to temporarily hold the record in North America for
highest-grossing opening for an animated film until Toy Story 2 came out. In
this film a short was also shown in which a few new Pokémon were revealed.
Over the next couple years various spin-off games (Pinball, puzzles,
card game), a second movie (revealing another few new Pokémon), and even a live
musical were created.
November of 1999 the second generation of Pokémon games was released
for Gameboy Color: Gold and Silver versions, featuring 100 more monsters to
find and catch. Aside from being in a new country, the games featured very
similar styles of gameplay to the original: defeating 8 gym leaders, the elite
four and your rival, a crime syndicate, and a job to catch them all. The games
also introduced a few features including: gender, breeding, and baby Pokémon,
time, friendship, and shiny Pokémon.
This process would be repeated time and again as the game consoles
evolved: various new species of Pokémon would be revealed in the television
show or movies, spin-off games would be produced, and about every 4 years a new
generation of main series Pokémon games would be released. Introducing new
countries, wireless connectivity, ways to improve your Pokémon, and obviously
new Pokémon to catch increasing from the original 151 to today’s 721 which is
increasing as we speak. A number of remade versions were released to allow for compatibility
with the contemporary games.
Since there is always a new Pokémon around the corner, and the history
of the Pokémon world always remained somewhat a mystery, there are many people
who theorize over release dates of new games, potential new evolutions of
existing monsters, and various plot points of the television series or games.
As I mentioned earlier, even now, about 2 years after the previous new
generation many people are theorizing when the next generation will be released
based on leaked images of new Pokémon. The announcement of Pokémon GO is a
whole new frontier for Pokémon taking the games not only global using wireless
connections, but now to the real world. For many fans this is a childhood dream
come true, whether they are now a child, or were back in the 90s.
Conclusion:
Where the game will go from here I cannot say, but what is clear is
that the Pokémon franchise has an excellent way of keeping fans on their toes, has
made a name for itself in video gaming, the country of Japan, and around the
world, and is likely to continue growing in the coming years.
28.7.15
Pain, Patience, and Parables. Part 2/2.
So, if you weren't aware, I was in a bike accident.
Refer here to part 1: Part 1. (PS. I made a pun in the last major paragraph, which I find hilarious. haha) I ended up having surgery on Wednesday and everything seems to have gone perfectly well. I'm going in for a follow-up appointment with the surgeon on Thursday morning and my arm isn't really in pain anymore and I'm (somewhat) typing with two hands again (although the left hand only gets to type e,w,a,s,d,z,x and left-shift (he usually gets to type a little more of the keyboard too)(I only normally type with like 2 to 4 fingers. xP)).
But part 2 is mostly about what I was thinking throughout the day in relation to God and the Bible (hence parables).
To start, looking back on the accident itself I'm really quite happy about the way it all happened. The day started with a good solid time in the Bible and looking at who God is and trusting in His goodness. Which was somewhat uncommon at the time. Had it not started that way, I don't think the rest of the day would have happened the same way.
First, the accident itself, praise God, was so benign. A bump to the head; like 10 stitches; a couple scrapes; a bit of a sore neck and shoulder; and a broken ulna bone, which is pretty much better now. It wasn't a serious accident, but it could have been so much worse. I kept thinking about how everything had been planned. GM had messaged me like two weeks prior to go biking and we ended up on that date because I was free. We could have chosen any other week. Had I not gone biking that Saturday, I would have biked to church the next day alone, which has a lot more street biking. I could have ended up unconscious, on the road, alone Sunday morning rather than on the side of a bike path, fully conscious, with a buddy, 5 blocks to a hospital. The idea that God works all things for the good of those who love Him (Rom 8) kept coming to mind. He kept me from a worse injury. He has given me more time in the Word and reading other encouraging materials. He has shown me so much love through my brothers and sisters in Christ. He's brought me closer with my parents. There's so little here that has been a downside. xP Yesterday SC even told me how me and JF (a fractured radius) being in bike accidents caused him to check his bike and not ride it when a bolt was missing. Our injuries have caused everyone in the church to be much more aware and safe with biking!
Secondly, I, and GM and others, were amazed at how calm I was during the whole thing. When it happened, my first response (which surprised me too) was to pray. And through the whole thing I was thinking so clearly and calmly. It was insane. Looking back while I was in a room waiting for stitches the thought of Phil4 came to mind: 'pray about all things and the peace that surpasses understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus'. Honestly, one of my thoughts at the time were like 'we need to press down on the wound to stop the bleeding. we need to breathe slower and get our heart rate down to slow blood loss. we need to make sure anything we feel or any loss of sight or anything is conveyed to GM so he can tell the paramedics when they get here. etc.' and then I also answered all of the questions about who, what, where, why, how, etc. perfectly.
Third, I think I got a bit of a picture of Israel waiting for the Messiah to come. Maybe this was just me experiencing a prolonged waiting, which I normally don't, but it really was a long wait, and I was in a fair bit of pain. The guy in blue was my Jesus. Kendrick. Xrays were taken at like 2:30 pm after I had been stitched up, but nothing happened until 3:30. Kendrick came and told me about my arm. He had to go and talk with his seniors, but he would be back. So I waited in pain, mostly singing hymns and praying. One time he came back and said I needed a CT scan. Cool. More waiting. Around 6 pm I almost gave up hope that he'd be back. Maybe he went for dinner. When does his shift end anyways? Got a CT scan. Kendrick came back. This time literally just to say "we haven't forgotten about you. I will be back soon!" It was like 10 pm when he finally came back and gave me the final news, but he gave me a cast and gave me pain killers. He showed genuine concern for me and talked me through everything and sent me home. It was a long day, waiting for rest and comfort from my self-inflicted pain, but time after time it was prophesied that the saviour would come. (I realize this is a bit of a stretch, but the hope that Kendrick was coming back and that he actually cared really got me through what could have been millennia of waiting. haha)
So ya, it's been cool. xP And of course, this light and momentary pain is nothing in comparison to the future glory we have as children of God (Rom 8).
Ttyl,
D.Fa
Refer here to part 1: Part 1. (PS. I made a pun in the last major paragraph, which I find hilarious. haha) I ended up having surgery on Wednesday and everything seems to have gone perfectly well. I'm going in for a follow-up appointment with the surgeon on Thursday morning and my arm isn't really in pain anymore and I'm (somewhat) typing with two hands again (although the left hand only gets to type e,w,a,s,d,z,x and left-shift (he usually gets to type a little more of the keyboard too)(I only normally type with like 2 to 4 fingers. xP)).
But part 2 is mostly about what I was thinking throughout the day in relation to God and the Bible (hence parables).
To start, looking back on the accident itself I'm really quite happy about the way it all happened. The day started with a good solid time in the Bible and looking at who God is and trusting in His goodness. Which was somewhat uncommon at the time. Had it not started that way, I don't think the rest of the day would have happened the same way.
First, the accident itself, praise God, was so benign. A bump to the head; like 10 stitches; a couple scrapes; a bit of a sore neck and shoulder; and a broken ulna bone, which is pretty much better now. It wasn't a serious accident, but it could have been so much worse. I kept thinking about how everything had been planned. GM had messaged me like two weeks prior to go biking and we ended up on that date because I was free. We could have chosen any other week. Had I not gone biking that Saturday, I would have biked to church the next day alone, which has a lot more street biking. I could have ended up unconscious, on the road, alone Sunday morning rather than on the side of a bike path, fully conscious, with a buddy, 5 blocks to a hospital. The idea that God works all things for the good of those who love Him (Rom 8) kept coming to mind. He kept me from a worse injury. He has given me more time in the Word and reading other encouraging materials. He has shown me so much love through my brothers and sisters in Christ. He's brought me closer with my parents. There's so little here that has been a downside. xP Yesterday SC even told me how me and JF (a fractured radius) being in bike accidents caused him to check his bike and not ride it when a bolt was missing. Our injuries have caused everyone in the church to be much more aware and safe with biking!
Secondly, I, and GM and others, were amazed at how calm I was during the whole thing. When it happened, my first response (which surprised me too) was to pray. And through the whole thing I was thinking so clearly and calmly. It was insane. Looking back while I was in a room waiting for stitches the thought of Phil4 came to mind: 'pray about all things and the peace that surpasses understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus'. Honestly, one of my thoughts at the time were like 'we need to press down on the wound to stop the bleeding. we need to breathe slower and get our heart rate down to slow blood loss. we need to make sure anything we feel or any loss of sight or anything is conveyed to GM so he can tell the paramedics when they get here. etc.' and then I also answered all of the questions about who, what, where, why, how, etc. perfectly.
Third, I think I got a bit of a picture of Israel waiting for the Messiah to come. Maybe this was just me experiencing a prolonged waiting, which I normally don't, but it really was a long wait, and I was in a fair bit of pain. The guy in blue was my Jesus. Kendrick. Xrays were taken at like 2:30 pm after I had been stitched up, but nothing happened until 3:30. Kendrick came and told me about my arm. He had to go and talk with his seniors, but he would be back. So I waited in pain, mostly singing hymns and praying. One time he came back and said I needed a CT scan. Cool. More waiting. Around 6 pm I almost gave up hope that he'd be back. Maybe he went for dinner. When does his shift end anyways? Got a CT scan. Kendrick came back. This time literally just to say "we haven't forgotten about you. I will be back soon!" It was like 10 pm when he finally came back and gave me the final news, but he gave me a cast and gave me pain killers. He showed genuine concern for me and talked me through everything and sent me home. It was a long day, waiting for rest and comfort from my self-inflicted pain, but time after time it was prophesied that the saviour would come. (I realize this is a bit of a stretch, but the hope that Kendrick was coming back and that he actually cared really got me through what could have been millennia of waiting. haha)
So ya, it's been cool. xP And of course, this light and momentary pain is nothing in comparison to the future glory we have as children of God (Rom 8).
Ttyl,
D.Fa
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