Hey.
I have now completed a University exam. It's practically the same thing as a highschool exam, just on a larger scale. They are apparently scarier when it comes to cell phones and other potential cheating, the exam room is WAY bigger, but the exam itself is only 11 pages... xP
Okay... I failed again today..... After I went and finished my studying. I turned on the radio (CHRI) and there were a few talks. Mostly they were about prioritizing and wasted time etc. It was talking about how Jesus only had 3 years to do the biggest thing any man has ever done, save the world, yet he took the time every morning to pray and spend time with God and he was never rushing to get anywhere, one of his biggest sermons was to one woman at a well.
How can I really rely on God if I'm not even talking to him very much. Okay.... I've been failing because I've been relying on myself again. I am going to try to spend 15 minutes of every four hours in prayer/reading a passage and reflecting on it.
Earlier I was thinking "Seek first His kingdom and His righteosness and all these things will be given to you." I was using this as an excuse to not study last second. Instead I would go sharing around 5:30 and be doing His work. Then the test would be guarenteed. I mean it is just something else, just another thing. What is going to last..? Only what is done for love's reward will stand the test of time, or so the song goes... xP
In the end, I forgot my calculator and had to walk home after waiting at a bus stop for 10 minutes... It was so cold... xP But, really, my planning had failed. Emphasis on MY.
Ya, I really need to sleep so that I can wake up and study for Bio... xP I'm gonna waste a lot of time on Pizza buffet and Singing Christmas Tree tommorow, so I really need to get to work...
Also, you guys should pray for RL. I will be. This morning at 10 he said he was going to sleep and that I should wake him up at 12. I then hear video game sounds from the other side of his closed door for 2 hours as I study. I then hear him "go back to bed" then "wake up" then start a new game. I then go to 'wake him up' and he says good morning. I tell him that he's been playing video games for two hours, he says, no I just started. See, look at the counter (it says how long he's been playing...)... He then played for another two hours. Now, at midnight he plans to 'study' for two hours, go to sleep and wake up 5 hours later then bus to school for a 9am exam........ He is watching Glee.
JW says that 'parenting won't help him' and that 'if he makes mistakes he'll learn from them.' I don't want him to fail. I don't want him to starve. I don't want him to be sleep deprived. I don't want him to waste his life on video games (It is seriously taking over his life.).
Ya.......
Ttyl.
D.Fa
Far East Movement is also a good band. xP
10.12.10
8.12.10
His Name is Jesus
Ok. Honestly, right now, if I liked beer at all, I would probably have a hangover.
You see, last night was poker night at CW's house. It started at 7:30 and Everyone left around midnight. There were only 3 games in that time. The first game with 6 people took like 2 hours. Another game with like 4 people started about halfway into the first game on a second table and ended before the first game did. The third game was 10 people and ended around 11:50ish.
I don't really care about poker. I don't play very often and I don't ever expect to win, but I will play almost every hand. Like, even a bad hand could win if everyone else's hands are terrible. Since it was a game with no money involved, whenever I had a pile of chips I'd usually just throw more chips in everytime I could. Make the game go a bit faster, make it a bit more interesting. By doing this on a hand of two queens, I thought I had lost a thousand or so, but someone pointed out I actually had a flush, so I won a large pile of chips.
The blinds kept going up and I slowly lost because I don't fold very much.
The reason that I would have gotten drunk is a combination of the presence of beer / wine combined with my current attitude. I was kinda depressed because I had sinned earlier. Like, if you can shift the blame off of you, you don't feel as bad, but it was all my fault, I barley fought it and I failed Him again.
When I sin, sure I'll pray right away afterwards, but ideally I will pray before I give in completely and instead walk past the temptation. I know I can't hide my sins or inequities from Him, but yet I still act that way. I say I'm sorry, but then I kinda ignore him while feeling guilty...
On top of this guilt I was also kinda getting really angry at how slow the game was going. AL [a different one.] thought I was really serious. No, I was just not yelling. Instead I was trying to hide how angry I was. People were drinking, not paying attention to the game, eating, getting the pizza out of the oven, talking to their parents on the phone, playing music loudly and changing the songs. Everyone left the table many multiple times for various reasons and AL thinks too much about every move.
It's just a game. It should be fun. I think beer tastes really bad, so I didn't drink more than a couple sips.
I got home at like 1:00 and went to sleep.
I had a dream of some sort, but the only part I still remember is being in a computer lab and singing "His name is Jesus, precious Jesus" quietly out loud. The lyrics are from King of Glory by Third Day.
So, ya. I will attempt to play that song on guitar later after I study for Chem.
D.Fa
You see, last night was poker night at CW's house. It started at 7:30 and Everyone left around midnight. There were only 3 games in that time. The first game with 6 people took like 2 hours. Another game with like 4 people started about halfway into the first game on a second table and ended before the first game did. The third game was 10 people and ended around 11:50ish.
I don't really care about poker. I don't play very often and I don't ever expect to win, but I will play almost every hand. Like, even a bad hand could win if everyone else's hands are terrible. Since it was a game with no money involved, whenever I had a pile of chips I'd usually just throw more chips in everytime I could. Make the game go a bit faster, make it a bit more interesting. By doing this on a hand of two queens, I thought I had lost a thousand or so, but someone pointed out I actually had a flush, so I won a large pile of chips.
The blinds kept going up and I slowly lost because I don't fold very much.
The reason that I would have gotten drunk is a combination of the presence of beer / wine combined with my current attitude. I was kinda depressed because I had sinned earlier. Like, if you can shift the blame off of you, you don't feel as bad, but it was all my fault, I barley fought it and I failed Him again.
When I sin, sure I'll pray right away afterwards, but ideally I will pray before I give in completely and instead walk past the temptation. I know I can't hide my sins or inequities from Him, but yet I still act that way. I say I'm sorry, but then I kinda ignore him while feeling guilty...
On top of this guilt I was also kinda getting really angry at how slow the game was going. AL [a different one.] thought I was really serious. No, I was just not yelling. Instead I was trying to hide how angry I was. People were drinking, not paying attention to the game, eating, getting the pizza out of the oven, talking to their parents on the phone, playing music loudly and changing the songs. Everyone left the table many multiple times for various reasons and AL thinks too much about every move.
It's just a game. It should be fun. I think beer tastes really bad, so I didn't drink more than a couple sips.
I got home at like 1:00 and went to sleep.
I had a dream of some sort, but the only part I still remember is being in a computer lab and singing "His name is Jesus, precious Jesus" quietly out loud. The lyrics are from King of Glory by Third Day.
So, ya. I will attempt to play that song on guitar later after I study for Chem.
D.Fa
5.12.10
BLOCKUS ga Hoshii!!!
So, ya.
Today after church was the YA christmas party thing. We ate some food. Then the main event happened: the 5$ gift exchange. It got so intense.
There were like 20 people involved in this exchange. but there were only so many covetted gifts. These included : Blockus (so fun. its a board game), a free starbucks drink (any size, any drink), two pillows. That is all. xP. And Everyone wanted Blockus so badly. so badly! also everyone had something else that they wanted individually (I wanted the chopsticks!!!!) On top of this fact there is also the fact that a board game is played with more than one person and that a number of people lived in the same house. So on every round (one person would choose to either open a new gift or steal a previously opened gift) once blockus was stolen the intense trading game began (you could only steal the item once per round and no steal backs). There were alliances back and forth. But you could only have so many people helping you because only people who had chosen a gift so far could steal once stolen from. So we had to wait until our other roomate had started. We would swipe it, they would trade then swipe it, we would trade then swipe it like 20 steals in a turn.... Then because we couldn't lose to them we got like another few guys on our alliance although one was never really helping us, one was only interested in helping his girlfriend and another guy just wanted the pillows. In the end the game went to KP who is the girlfriend of my housemate and also lives with the girls, so its like everyone won. xPPPP All that time and stealing for nothing... xP I got my chopsticks, he got his pillows, she got the starbucks. Everyone (pretty much) got what they wanted. I can't believe we forgot to ask AL to steal for us. xP (LOL.... I just remembered what I told her about why we couldn't trust her, which is not why we didn't. xP) CW was last so he couldn't help.
I understand if you havn't been following that complex explaination... xP
I then made mashed potatoes.
We ate a lot of food.
We saw the Ottawa Christian Chorale's "Unending Song". They were pretty good.
I now have a box spring under my 3 mattresses... xP So high. I HAVE TO jump to get into bed.. xP
My thumb is still bugging me, but not as much...
My moustache is amazing. xPPPP
Ttyl.
D.Fa
Today after church was the YA christmas party thing. We ate some food. Then the main event happened: the 5$ gift exchange. It got so intense.
There were like 20 people involved in this exchange. but there were only so many covetted gifts. These included : Blockus (so fun. its a board game), a free starbucks drink (any size, any drink), two pillows. That is all. xP. And Everyone wanted Blockus so badly. so badly! also everyone had something else that they wanted individually (I wanted the chopsticks!!!!) On top of this fact there is also the fact that a board game is played with more than one person and that a number of people lived in the same house. So on every round (one person would choose to either open a new gift or steal a previously opened gift) once blockus was stolen the intense trading game began (you could only steal the item once per round and no steal backs). There were alliances back and forth. But you could only have so many people helping you because only people who had chosen a gift so far could steal once stolen from. So we had to wait until our other roomate had started. We would swipe it, they would trade then swipe it, we would trade then swipe it like 20 steals in a turn.... Then because we couldn't lose to them we got like another few guys on our alliance although one was never really helping us, one was only interested in helping his girlfriend and another guy just wanted the pillows. In the end the game went to KP who is the girlfriend of my housemate and also lives with the girls, so its like everyone won. xPPPP All that time and stealing for nothing... xP I got my chopsticks, he got his pillows, she got the starbucks. Everyone (pretty much) got what they wanted. I can't believe we forgot to ask AL to steal for us. xP (LOL.... I just remembered what I told her about why we couldn't trust her, which is not why we didn't. xP) CW was last so he couldn't help.
I understand if you havn't been following that complex explaination... xP
I then made mashed potatoes.
We ate a lot of food.
We saw the Ottawa Christian Chorale's "Unending Song". They were pretty good.
I now have a box spring under my 3 mattresses... xP So high. I HAVE TO jump to get into bed.. xP
My thumb is still bugging me, but not as much...
My moustache is amazing. xPPPP
Ttyl.
D.Fa
Ohashi!
YAYAYAYAYAYAY!
I just got a pack of chopsticks!!! Wah! Ya! So happy!
My first pair of chopsticks! Yeaah!
(Also, my moustache is brown now. LOL. Mwahahahahahaahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahah!)
but I digress. CHOPSTICKS!! Yeeeeaaah!
ttyl.
=D.Fa
I just got a pack of chopsticks!!! Wah! Ya! So happy!
My first pair of chopsticks! Yeaah!
(Also, my moustache is brown now. LOL. Mwahahahahahaahahahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahah!)
but I digress. CHOPSTICKS!! Yeeeeaaah!
ttyl.
=D.Fa
4.12.10
Have You Ever VIII..?
Have you ever been in such an intense fight that your knuckles start bleeding..?
Ya, me either. Until tonight. xP.... Except really, it had nothing to do with how intense the fight was, I just have really dry and cracking knuckles, but then I saw the blood and was like "where did that come from..? because it was on my palm and my palm was deffinately not bleeding. I deffinately didn't make someone else bleed. I was just punching him in the gut. Then I saw my knuckle bleeding... xP I am not good with blood. Also my joints were annoyed at my fighting, so I stopped. I may have sprained my thumb... xP
w00t! I can sleep in!!!!
G'night.
D.Fa
[Also, tonight was the semi-formal / tropical C4C christmas banquet at Thai Coconut and there was a regift exchange and I did not take home the necklace/bracelet/perfume package nor did I take home a skirt/blouse/sparkly shoelace package, but in the end I got two new books and a gym bag. Ya, the first gift said "for girls only" on the INSIDE... >.> Whatever. Ciao.]
PS. CROATIA! w00t!
Ya, me either. Until tonight. xP.... Except really, it had nothing to do with how intense the fight was, I just have really dry and cracking knuckles, but then I saw the blood and was like "where did that come from..? because it was on my palm and my palm was deffinately not bleeding. I deffinately didn't make someone else bleed. I was just punching him in the gut. Then I saw my knuckle bleeding... xP I am not good with blood. Also my joints were annoyed at my fighting, so I stopped. I may have sprained my thumb... xP
w00t! I can sleep in!!!!
G'night.
D.Fa
[Also, tonight was the semi-formal / tropical C4C christmas banquet at Thai Coconut and there was a regift exchange and I did not take home the necklace/bracelet/perfume package nor did I take home a skirt/blouse/sparkly shoelace package, but in the end I got two new books and a gym bag. Ya, the first gift said "for girls only" on the INSIDE... >.> Whatever. Ciao.]
PS. CROATIA! w00t!
3.12.10
I Just Met Porygon! / Have You Ever VII..?
Have you ever been assigned something a month and a half in advance and don't end up starting until the day before, don't end up finishing until either 10 minutes or 70 minutes before it is due and don't end up handing it in until either -40 or 20 minutes until it is due..?
Well, I just did... xP A six-page essay in FILM class.... I didn't really start until yesterday at 1ish. I didn't get "a thesis" until 11sih. I didn't start writing it until 8ish. I didn't finish the rough (very rough) draft until 2ish. I didn't finish revising the peer editing until 3:50ish. I didn't print it until 4:20ish. I didn't hand it in until 4:40ish. And I think it was due at 5, but there's a very minimul chance it was due at 4 (There were two girls right behind me not stressed at all, so I am now almost certain that it was due at 5).
So, ya. (My phone just reminded me "FILM paper due in 10 minutes") (It is now 4:50.) (*sigh of relief*)
Ya. I asked HK and CW if they could look over my paper today. I asked them last night at 11:58. I realize I hadn't started and I realize that it was kinda last second which you are not supposed to do with people (you should give people a week) but they are amazing and awesome upper years in journalism and english, so I am very happy that they helped out.
Also, the break in time when HK was looking over it (and I didn't realize she had emailed me back) I was watching pokemon episode 38. Guess what? I have never seen it before!!!!!!! What!?!??!?!!? Well, apparently it was banned from television in 1997 because it made 685 kids take an ambulance to a hospital because they thought they had seizures (two kids were in the hospital for over two weeks!) and now I understand the actual reason for the Simpsons and South Park allusion to seizure inducing anime.
But also, I now know who porygon is. Like in the games you don't really question it, you just catch them all, but almost every single one is shown in the anime, right..? But I never saw porygon and so I never really got what it was or why I would want it. Now I do!
Apparently a few episodes have been banned from various countries.
You know the episode where tentacruel attacks the city..? The one where horsea squirts oil..? (lol. the image just came to my head. which is why I said it. it's not actually a memorable part of that episode, but I just remembered it from that episode. Oh wait... is it a main plot point..? I don't remember.... xP Anyways...) Well, the US banned it and the episode with the ghost tower because of 9/11. What?!?!? seriously..?!?!? I remember that episode from like 10 years ago. It's still in the opening to every episode..! You can't just ban it.... >.>
Whatever... The new pokemon are just weird... I saw them today.... SOOOOOO Weird..... so weird. The first stages are all super cute. The middle stages are all awkward. and the final forms are all huge, complicated and scary.....
>.> I don't know if I will buy this one.... The fire starter pokemon is a fire/fighting pig.... the other starters aren't much better, but satoshi (ash ketchum) apparently gets all 3 like in every other season. XP
So, ya.... Ttyl.
D.Fa
Well, I just did... xP A six-page essay in FILM class.... I didn't really start until yesterday at 1ish. I didn't get "a thesis" until 11sih. I didn't start writing it until 8ish. I didn't finish the rough (very rough) draft until 2ish. I didn't finish revising the peer editing until 3:50ish. I didn't print it until 4:20ish. I didn't hand it in until 4:40ish. And I think it was due at 5, but there's a very minimul chance it was due at 4 (There were two girls right behind me not stressed at all, so I am now almost certain that it was due at 5).
So, ya. (My phone just reminded me "FILM paper due in 10 minutes") (It is now 4:50.) (*sigh of relief*)
Ya. I asked HK and CW if they could look over my paper today. I asked them last night at 11:58. I realize I hadn't started and I realize that it was kinda last second which you are not supposed to do with people (you should give people a week) but they are amazing and awesome upper years in journalism and english, so I am very happy that they helped out.
Also, the break in time when HK was looking over it (and I didn't realize she had emailed me back) I was watching pokemon episode 38. Guess what? I have never seen it before!!!!!!! What!?!??!?!!? Well, apparently it was banned from television in 1997 because it made 685 kids take an ambulance to a hospital because they thought they had seizures (two kids were in the hospital for over two weeks!) and now I understand the actual reason for the Simpsons and South Park allusion to seizure inducing anime.
But also, I now know who porygon is. Like in the games you don't really question it, you just catch them all, but almost every single one is shown in the anime, right..? But I never saw porygon and so I never really got what it was or why I would want it. Now I do!
Apparently a few episodes have been banned from various countries.
You know the episode where tentacruel attacks the city..? The one where horsea squirts oil..? (lol. the image just came to my head. which is why I said it. it's not actually a memorable part of that episode, but I just remembered it from that episode. Oh wait... is it a main plot point..? I don't remember.... xP Anyways...) Well, the US banned it and the episode with the ghost tower because of 9/11. What?!?!? seriously..?!?!? I remember that episode from like 10 years ago. It's still in the opening to every episode..! You can't just ban it.... >.>
Whatever... The new pokemon are just weird... I saw them today.... SOOOOOO Weird..... so weird. The first stages are all super cute. The middle stages are all awkward. and the final forms are all huge, complicated and scary.....
>.> I don't know if I will buy this one.... The fire starter pokemon is a fire/fighting pig.... the other starters aren't much better, but satoshi (ash ketchum) apparently gets all 3 like in every other season. XP
So, ya.... Ttyl.
D.Fa
2.12.10
Forever Young / Have You Ever VI..?
Have you ever wished you could go back in time..? Go back and just do something again..?
Well, today I wish I was still in High School, MHS that is. Today I went to the Evening of the Arts event which is a fundraiser for Suzart, a local theatre company. Most of the performances are by Suzart actors, but a large number are just talented students such as MHC, JF, CN, OC and others. JC was emcee... xP....... He made a terribly funny joke about Argon. xPPP I got to hang out with a limited number of people because its not as much a student event, its more an event to show off and students don't really care too much about some theatre company they havnn't heard of, so its mostly adults, but theres always a Musical teaser with people in roles they wont actually be in because the casting was last week, but ya.
Afterwards we were cleaning up, putting benches back, moving chairs and tables. So much more fun now that I don't actually have to do it. xPP I really have to write an essay right now that is due tommorow afternoon, but this was a way better waste of my time. I wish I were still in the carefree years of highschool, but I would probably miss these days too... xP
I don't know... xP
I was flinging benches across the caf to help move them. I got really hyper. I walked home without a coat. xPPP
xPPP I can't wait until Christmas break. xP. sleep.
ttyl.
D.Fa
Well, today I wish I was still in High School, MHS that is. Today I went to the Evening of the Arts event which is a fundraiser for Suzart, a local theatre company. Most of the performances are by Suzart actors, but a large number are just talented students such as MHC, JF, CN, OC and others. JC was emcee... xP....... He made a terribly funny joke about Argon. xPPP I got to hang out with a limited number of people because its not as much a student event, its more an event to show off and students don't really care too much about some theatre company they havnn't heard of, so its mostly adults, but theres always a Musical teaser with people in roles they wont actually be in because the casting was last week, but ya.
Afterwards we were cleaning up, putting benches back, moving chairs and tables. So much more fun now that I don't actually have to do it. xPP I really have to write an essay right now that is due tommorow afternoon, but this was a way better waste of my time. I wish I were still in the carefree years of highschool, but I would probably miss these days too... xP
I don't know... xP
I was flinging benches across the caf to help move them. I got really hyper. I walked home without a coat. xPPP
xPPP I can't wait until Christmas break. xP. sleep.
ttyl.
D.Fa
1.12.10
Accountability Check
So, ya. As I have said before I try to be honest when I post and that is what I shall be again.
So, for a while I have been talking with CW about my viewing questionable images. This has been a pretty one sided conversation, as most physical conversations with me end up being. You see, there is this software that you can install in your computer that will take note of any 'questionable' websites that you view and on a biweekly basis email an accountability partner of your choice the list of 'questionable' sites. The goal of this program is for friends to help each other with this very common struggle.
There are a number of things I was thinking about this.
This is in no way a solution to the problem in and of itself. Just because this takes away your 'privacy' / ability to hide your actions on your computer, there are many other ways to do such questionable things. However, it does take the easiest and most accesable method out of the picture, kinda.
One thing I was thinking was that if I had this installed I'd have to be more transparent towards CW. I mean not only would I be unable to deny this questionable activity, but would I have to be even more transparent..? I mean, that wouldn't be a bad thing, technically, sharing more openly, but there are things that I don't really want to share / I don't think I really have to share. I mean admitting that I had / have a problem with pornography is one thing, but will I have to describe anything more specific than that..? I don't think so / don't really want to. That's not who I want to be so why should it be important..?
Ya, there's kinda an element of ego and pride in wanting to not admit any of this stuff, but really, I am no better than anyone else and this just makes it so I can't pretend to be so with CW. Of course, now I'm gonna be trying harder to protect my 'image' unless I end up forgetting about it because it is invisible.
Another thing is that the program's definition of 'questionable' doesn't always work. I mean, you can easily make things that are 'acceptable' in our society into something very questionable by just using your imagination. And I don't know if it knows whether videos are questionable or not. Or what the limit for questionable vs unquestionable is..?
I don't know... xP This is really awkward.... but it doesn't really matter. God has paid the price for my sins, all of which at the time were in the future, so that I can stand unashamed, so really this should not matter and its all just about me protecting this image I put on for other people (which I really shouldn't have to do....).
So, ya. There goes that and I hope to be able to be more open with CW and other people. I deffinately can't hide anything from you guys anyways because I don't want to...
Whatever.... >.> In YF when the main topic was BGR (Boy Girl Relationships) Pastor DB was talking about "how much is too much..? / How far is too far..?" and the main point was that if you have to ask wether or not you have gone too far, you have gone too far. (I got distracted and no longer know where I was going with this. xP)
Anyways...
Ttyl.
D.Fa
PS. I don't remember if Thailand has already seen my blog or not, so I will be excited again. THAILAND! w00t!
[I can't believe that I posted this without praying. >.> After talking about all that....
Oh Heavenly Father, Lord I know that I have sinned in the past and I can't say that I am perfect, so I will probably sin in the future, but Lord I thank you so much for your love of those you created even though we turned away. Lord, you were willing to die on the cross for those who rejected you to follow their own path seeking their own satisfaction to no end. Lord, I'm sorry. I want to follow you and your way everlasting and not the way of sin. Lord remind us that without you we would be stuck in the hole we dug for ourselves. But you didn't leave us there, you carried us out, it wasn't us who climbed out. Lord, you are in control of everything and you have a purpose for everyone of us. Lord show me my purpose and give my life a meaning. I also pray for R(?) that he would be in contact with us. Lord I thank you that you have been working in his life already. Lord I pray all this in your name. Amen.]
So, for a while I have been talking with CW about my viewing questionable images. This has been a pretty one sided conversation, as most physical conversations with me end up being. You see, there is this software that you can install in your computer that will take note of any 'questionable' websites that you view and on a biweekly basis email an accountability partner of your choice the list of 'questionable' sites. The goal of this program is for friends to help each other with this very common struggle.
There are a number of things I was thinking about this.
This is in no way a solution to the problem in and of itself. Just because this takes away your 'privacy' / ability to hide your actions on your computer, there are many other ways to do such questionable things. However, it does take the easiest and most accesable method out of the picture, kinda.
One thing I was thinking was that if I had this installed I'd have to be more transparent towards CW. I mean not only would I be unable to deny this questionable activity, but would I have to be even more transparent..? I mean, that wouldn't be a bad thing, technically, sharing more openly, but there are things that I don't really want to share / I don't think I really have to share. I mean admitting that I had / have a problem with pornography is one thing, but will I have to describe anything more specific than that..? I don't think so / don't really want to. That's not who I want to be so why should it be important..?
Ya, there's kinda an element of ego and pride in wanting to not admit any of this stuff, but really, I am no better than anyone else and this just makes it so I can't pretend to be so with CW. Of course, now I'm gonna be trying harder to protect my 'image' unless I end up forgetting about it because it is invisible.
Another thing is that the program's definition of 'questionable' doesn't always work. I mean, you can easily make things that are 'acceptable' in our society into something very questionable by just using your imagination. And I don't know if it knows whether videos are questionable or not. Or what the limit for questionable vs unquestionable is..?
I don't know... xP This is really awkward.... but it doesn't really matter. God has paid the price for my sins, all of which at the time were in the future, so that I can stand unashamed, so really this should not matter and its all just about me protecting this image I put on for other people (which I really shouldn't have to do....).
So, ya. There goes that and I hope to be able to be more open with CW and other people. I deffinately can't hide anything from you guys anyways because I don't want to...
Whatever.... >.> In YF when the main topic was BGR (Boy Girl Relationships) Pastor DB was talking about "how much is too much..? / How far is too far..?" and the main point was that if you have to ask wether or not you have gone too far, you have gone too far. (I got distracted and no longer know where I was going with this. xP)
Anyways...
Ttyl.
D.Fa
PS. I don't remember if Thailand has already seen my blog or not, so I will be excited again. THAILAND! w00t!
[I can't believe that I posted this without praying. >.> After talking about all that....
Oh Heavenly Father, Lord I know that I have sinned in the past and I can't say that I am perfect, so I will probably sin in the future, but Lord I thank you so much for your love of those you created even though we turned away. Lord, you were willing to die on the cross for those who rejected you to follow their own path seeking their own satisfaction to no end. Lord, I'm sorry. I want to follow you and your way everlasting and not the way of sin. Lord remind us that without you we would be stuck in the hole we dug for ourselves. But you didn't leave us there, you carried us out, it wasn't us who climbed out. Lord, you are in control of everything and you have a purpose for everyone of us. Lord show me my purpose and give my life a meaning. I also pray for R(?) that he would be in contact with us. Lord I thank you that you have been working in his life already. Lord I pray all this in your name. Amen.]
30.11.10
Echoing Silences
So, ya. Today in my "5-minute break" during my FILM class I started writing a blog post and finished later on the 111. So, here it is:
Today I have been confronted by the idea of quiet time. Time spent listening for God to reply directly.
I do admit to not spending time in silence listening for God. I cannot say that I even try too hard in this aspect. There have been a few times where in church or something we were told to take time pray and then listen for God.
In these times I always find it really hard to silence my own thoughts. I don't remember where, but I think it was an english class at some point I read something like words are a virus, that either you are reading, writing, talking or thinking something and it just leads to more words or something and I thought it was really true. Even in dead silence, someone is thinking something. This may be one reason for why I have kind of given up on quiet time.
Also, I feel God can speak through other things like in specific events or through reading the Bible if something pops out to you as being relevant to something you have prayed about and you just know as your first thought that it was from God.
Ever since Saturday when I saw "unashamed" written on my face in the mirror I have been telling myself that I am unashamed whenever I am feeling down. Feelings come and go, but this is fact: Jesus paid for my sins on the cross so that I can stand unashamed in a relationship with Him.
Today after my conversation with JS I thought about how we do need to take time to listen for God, not because we have to so that He will speak to us, but that if we aren't trying we probably won't. The amazing thing behind this idea is that God is trying to speak to us, we just aren't listening and get lost in day to day worries. To go to such an extent as making a word appear on my face as a method of speaking to me shows how much I am not paying attention. Like if all the other less obvious methods havn't been working, so he had to resort to this.
So, ya... I really should set aside time to listen for God's answers and I suppose that at the same time I should pray less shallow prayers that mean so little.
Ya.
Oh Heavenly Father, Lord I thank you for reaching out to us and today for speaking through JS and getting me to realize we have a relationship meaning we are both contributing to it and that I need to listen more. Lord I'm sorry for not listening intently, but at the same time I thank you for going to the extent you do to show us your love and desire to be in a relationship with us. Lord, help me realize what I should be doing in this life and give me a reason to be doing them, not just because it is in my schedule. My schedule is not in control of my life. You are. Lord, help me to be a better witness to BJ and Lord, work in her heart. ... In your name I pray. Amen.
Ya. Ttyl. D.Fa
PS. I'm thinking about starting another blog. xP It would be a blog where as I study the Bible chapter by chapter (or maybe just a few verses at a time..?) I would record my thoughts and summarize the verses..? Something like that. There is only one thing that I think I should have before I start that. xP
Today I have been confronted by the idea of quiet time. Time spent listening for God to reply directly.
I do admit to not spending time in silence listening for God. I cannot say that I even try too hard in this aspect. There have been a few times where in church or something we were told to take time pray and then listen for God.
In these times I always find it really hard to silence my own thoughts. I don't remember where, but I think it was an english class at some point I read something like words are a virus, that either you are reading, writing, talking or thinking something and it just leads to more words or something and I thought it was really true. Even in dead silence, someone is thinking something. This may be one reason for why I have kind of given up on quiet time.
Also, I feel God can speak through other things like in specific events or through reading the Bible if something pops out to you as being relevant to something you have prayed about and you just know as your first thought that it was from God.
Ever since Saturday when I saw "unashamed" written on my face in the mirror I have been telling myself that I am unashamed whenever I am feeling down. Feelings come and go, but this is fact: Jesus paid for my sins on the cross so that I can stand unashamed in a relationship with Him.
Today after my conversation with JS I thought about how we do need to take time to listen for God, not because we have to so that He will speak to us, but that if we aren't trying we probably won't. The amazing thing behind this idea is that God is trying to speak to us, we just aren't listening and get lost in day to day worries. To go to such an extent as making a word appear on my face as a method of speaking to me shows how much I am not paying attention. Like if all the other less obvious methods havn't been working, so he had to resort to this.
So, ya... I really should set aside time to listen for God's answers and I suppose that at the same time I should pray less shallow prayers that mean so little.
Ya.
Oh Heavenly Father, Lord I thank you for reaching out to us and today for speaking through JS and getting me to realize we have a relationship meaning we are both contributing to it and that I need to listen more. Lord I'm sorry for not listening intently, but at the same time I thank you for going to the extent you do to show us your love and desire to be in a relationship with us. Lord, help me realize what I should be doing in this life and give me a reason to be doing them, not just because it is in my schedule. My schedule is not in control of my life. You are. Lord, help me to be a better witness to BJ and Lord, work in her heart. ... In your name I pray. Amen.
Ya. Ttyl. D.Fa
PS. I'm thinking about starting another blog. xP It would be a blog where as I study the Bible chapter by chapter (or maybe just a few verses at a time..?) I would record my thoughts and summarize the verses..? Something like that. There is only one thing that I think I should have before I start that. xP
29.11.10
G-rice!
So, ya. xP
I wasn't going to post right now, but I had thought about a quick post, but didn't think it warranted wasting time I should be working on my FILM paper or PHYS lab, BUT there was new stat, so I had to. xP (KENYA!!! w00t!)
So, I have on multiple occasions seen some people I know walk by my house, but had as of yet not said so. I have seen SC, OD's brother and EG walk by my house multiple times. This morning as I left for school SC had just walked by (I don't really know him. xP I learned his name from the band trip in grade 12. xP). Then I saw EG. He was shocked to see me "walk out of some random house" as I believe he put it. xP He's in the musical this year at MHS. He has a named role! We only walked together for like a minute or so. xP
Ya...
Last night I made some rice. I have not had any yet. On Saturday I cooked some ground beef with onions, garlic, parsley and oregano. I will be combining these two for lunches this week and if there is any meat left I could make spagetti..? xP I will also be adding soy sauce to the rice when I eat it.
Anyways.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
P.S. I am currently addicted to this song: Beautiful Hangover by Big Bang
I wasn't going to post right now, but I had thought about a quick post, but didn't think it warranted wasting time I should be working on my FILM paper or PHYS lab, BUT there was new stat, so I had to. xP (KENYA!!! w00t!)
So, I have on multiple occasions seen some people I know walk by my house, but had as of yet not said so. I have seen SC, OD's brother and EG walk by my house multiple times. This morning as I left for school SC had just walked by (I don't really know him. xP I learned his name from the band trip in grade 12. xP). Then I saw EG. He was shocked to see me "walk out of some random house" as I believe he put it. xP He's in the musical this year at MHS. He has a named role! We only walked together for like a minute or so. xP
Ya...
Last night I made some rice. I have not had any yet. On Saturday I cooked some ground beef with onions, garlic, parsley and oregano. I will be combining these two for lunches this week and if there is any meat left I could make spagetti..? xP I will also be adding soy sauce to the rice when I eat it.
Anyways.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
P.S. I am currently addicted to this song: Beautiful Hangover by Big Bang
28.11.10
Some Things That Happened Without My Knowing
So, hey.
Today was really awesome.
My Sunday School is about "Participating in the Mission of the Church". I seem to pay more attention to this. A/V went pretty well... xP The only really kinda bad thing that had happened up to this point was that RL had gone home to sleep instead of coming to church. It honestly ... idk... breaks my heart (I think that may be a bit too much, but I don't know how else to phrase it... xP) to see him skipping church to sleep... He is gaming again too... He had taken a 30-day challenge. It's like day 8 or something. He said he got bored......
Anyways, after church I had to go to work. So, at work there's this girl BJ who works in bakery. I havn't had a shift at the same time as her in like a month. Everytime I would go to work I'd be hoping she was there. I kinda really want to invite her to church and share with her. So I packed my bag for work, ie apron and hat, but I also threw in a couple Knowing God Personally booklets and a real life kit just in case.
Today in Sunday school we talked about good works and how they can affect our witness. I was going to be like 5 minutes late to work again, like I have been for a little while and I realized that isn't a good thing. I should continue to be on time for work. It is actually the only thing that I don't care about being like 10 minutes early to, I actually usually end up 10 minutes late... So I was kinda upset about being late, so I hurried up.
When I got to work I thought everything was normal. I went to get my schedule for the next week because I hadn't yet and I saw on Sunday "6-10:30 no show" and I'm thinking that isn't next Sunday... That's today..! and so I start freaking out about having misunderstood my boss. You see on Wednesday after class I went to check the schedule / book off time for the next week. The schedule wasn't made and the time off book wasn't in the drawer. That meant my boss was currently working on it. He was on the floor. I went over to him to ask to not work next Sunday night or Saturday afternoon. Before I could do so, he asked if I could work Sunday morning. I was happy because this is exactly what I wanted for next Sunday (read: potluck and concert that night) so I guess I misheard because he apparently meant this morning........
Now I was freaking out about not showing up for a shift.
Then BJ enters the backroom.
I'm thinking.... oh no... shes been here since 6, when I should have been here............. I usually act like work is very important around her, like, I'm always preoccupied with doing my work. The one time she caught me on my cell phone she kept holding it against me for like a couple weeks... so being caught 'skipping a shift' kinda completely destroys my reputation...
It turns out that produce wasn't actually behind schedule, so I wasn't actually in very much trouble... I did all the production for the night and cleaned the backroom. There wasn't too much to do. I then cleaned bakery and helped make salads in salad bar because JR was way behind schedule. I left work at 7:30ish and went to my parents' for supper. They gave me a pile of food again.
Anyways, while I was at work I talked breifly with BJ and found out that she had gone to church for a while by herself like 3 times a week then she just stopped. so I don't really know what to make of that.... I also got her cell number which will make it easier to stay in contact with my bare minimum work schedule.
So, ya. I should be in a lot of trouble, but I'm not... I don't know what to feel... embarassed or really grateful..?
Ttyl.
D.Fa
Today was really awesome.
My Sunday School is about "Participating in the Mission of the Church". I seem to pay more attention to this. A/V went pretty well... xP The only really kinda bad thing that had happened up to this point was that RL had gone home to sleep instead of coming to church. It honestly ... idk... breaks my heart (I think that may be a bit too much, but I don't know how else to phrase it... xP) to see him skipping church to sleep... He is gaming again too... He had taken a 30-day challenge. It's like day 8 or something. He said he got bored......
Anyways, after church I had to go to work. So, at work there's this girl BJ who works in bakery. I havn't had a shift at the same time as her in like a month. Everytime I would go to work I'd be hoping she was there. I kinda really want to invite her to church and share with her. So I packed my bag for work, ie apron and hat, but I also threw in a couple Knowing God Personally booklets and a real life kit just in case.
Today in Sunday school we talked about good works and how they can affect our witness. I was going to be like 5 minutes late to work again, like I have been for a little while and I realized that isn't a good thing. I should continue to be on time for work. It is actually the only thing that I don't care about being like 10 minutes early to, I actually usually end up 10 minutes late... So I was kinda upset about being late, so I hurried up.
When I got to work I thought everything was normal. I went to get my schedule for the next week because I hadn't yet and I saw on Sunday "6-10:30 no show" and I'm thinking that isn't next Sunday... That's today..! and so I start freaking out about having misunderstood my boss. You see on Wednesday after class I went to check the schedule / book off time for the next week. The schedule wasn't made and the time off book wasn't in the drawer. That meant my boss was currently working on it. He was on the floor. I went over to him to ask to not work next Sunday night or Saturday afternoon. Before I could do so, he asked if I could work Sunday morning. I was happy because this is exactly what I wanted for next Sunday (read: potluck and concert that night) so I guess I misheard because he apparently meant this morning........
Now I was freaking out about not showing up for a shift.
Then BJ enters the backroom.
I'm thinking.... oh no... shes been here since 6, when I should have been here............. I usually act like work is very important around her, like, I'm always preoccupied with doing my work. The one time she caught me on my cell phone she kept holding it against me for like a couple weeks... so being caught 'skipping a shift' kinda completely destroys my reputation...
It turns out that produce wasn't actually behind schedule, so I wasn't actually in very much trouble... I did all the production for the night and cleaned the backroom. There wasn't too much to do. I then cleaned bakery and helped make salads in salad bar because JR was way behind schedule. I left work at 7:30ish and went to my parents' for supper. They gave me a pile of food again.
Anyways, while I was at work I talked breifly with BJ and found out that she had gone to church for a while by herself like 3 times a week then she just stopped. so I don't really know what to make of that.... I also got her cell number which will make it easier to stay in contact with my bare minimum work schedule.
So, ya. I should be in a lot of trouble, but I'm not... I don't know what to feel... embarassed or really grateful..?
Ttyl.
D.Fa
27.11.10
Very Cherry!
Hey, I know this post is very near to the last post, but there's somthing I havn't talked about that I did on Thursday that I can now SHOW YOU! and also, something else is IN MY HOUSE right now that I didn't notice until an hour or so ago.
So, we shall start with Thursday.
On Thursdays I normally go to YA. This Thursday I did not. Instead I went to MHS's Multicultural Show (17th Annual!)! There is one main reason why I was going: to see my brother perform. I got to see a lot of people and I got to see the show which was really good (especially VN's fan dancing). And I think that the last act was really creative and cool. It was a couple people from each of the individual acts put together to show how Canada is Multicultural and I think that was really cool. Usually the multicultural show is not very, idk... Not very Multicultural..? I don't really know how to explain it, but it doesn't matter. This year's show was pretty amazing (they even had some professional Indonesian Dancers!)! The only thing I thought, originally, was going to be bad was JF's song at the end. She wrote it herself and was going to perform it at the very end of the show... It was pretty good.
So, I am going to post a couple more videos. xP First is the Swing Dance act. The swing dancers are a really cool group of people and exist all year long, unlike most of the acts (Steel band played this year! Yay Music!!) which just work all fall to get together a dance then perform it and wait until next year. I have a bunch of friends in Swing (including my brother.) and so, here is the video :
And the second video is JF's song:
So, ya. #2! CHERRY IS BACK!!!!!!
Cherry is beyond cute.
Cute
Hairy
Energetic (and)
Really,
Really,
Yellow..? 0.o
I'm not too good at acrostic poetry... xP
Anyways, this morning I spent some time with Cherry. For a while she was barking at her reflection in the back door. LOL. Then she was in relentless pursuit of the food that has fallen between the stove and the counter. >.> And I took her for a walk earlier. For a couple minutes she was running as fast as she could while dragging me behind her. xP
I enjoy having pets.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
So, we shall start with Thursday.
On Thursdays I normally go to YA. This Thursday I did not. Instead I went to MHS's Multicultural Show (17th Annual!)! There is one main reason why I was going: to see my brother perform. I got to see a lot of people and I got to see the show which was really good (especially VN's fan dancing). And I think that the last act was really creative and cool. It was a couple people from each of the individual acts put together to show how Canada is Multicultural and I think that was really cool. Usually the multicultural show is not very, idk... Not very Multicultural..? I don't really know how to explain it, but it doesn't matter. This year's show was pretty amazing (they even had some professional Indonesian Dancers!)! The only thing I thought, originally, was going to be bad was JF's song at the end. She wrote it herself and was going to perform it at the very end of the show... It was pretty good.
So, I am going to post a couple more videos. xP First is the Swing Dance act. The swing dancers are a really cool group of people and exist all year long, unlike most of the acts (Steel band played this year! Yay Music!!) which just work all fall to get together a dance then perform it and wait until next year. I have a bunch of friends in Swing (including my brother.) and so, here is the video :
And the second video is JF's song:
So, ya. #2! CHERRY IS BACK!!!!!!
Cherry is beyond cute.
Cute
Hairy
Energetic (and)
Really,
Really,
Yellow..? 0.o
I'm not too good at acrostic poetry... xP
Anyways, this morning I spent some time with Cherry. For a while she was barking at her reflection in the back door. LOL. Then she was in relentless pursuit of the food that has fallen between the stove and the counter. >.> And I took her for a walk earlier. For a couple minutes she was running as fast as she could while dragging me behind her. xP
I enjoy having pets.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
Twelve Charcters (or rather 10 characters and two dolls) in Search of Authors / Unashamed
So, ya. Yesterday I went to a play at Carleton, "Six Characters in Search of an Author". I had seen the same play done by MHS last week. They were pretty different. MHS's was more comical while CU's was very very intense with very good blocking and audio/visual elements that really added to the depth of the symbolism and stuff. For example in the play all the "actors" were wearing colourful shirts while all the "characters" were black and white, showing a disticnt difference between them. Also, the use of lighting made it very clear when something was a 're-enactment' or when something was 'real'. I understand that you aren't really following what I am saying right now. xP But! If you want to find out you can still go to tonight's performace (Closing Night!) at Carleton's Kailash Mital Theatre at 8pm tickets are 8$ for students and 12$ for general admission. I strongly recomend it, but doubt that anyone will either read this in time or be able to go. xP
The thing with MHS's play is that I knew everyone in it (mostly) and I thought a couple people were really really good in their roles. Especially NJ, MHC, MU and CK. TM overacts sometimes which is often very funny, but sometimes out of place.
I can't choose which is better because they are both special in their own ways and actually have a different tone to the play and don't end the same way, so really, its as if they were different plays.
Anyways, the reason that I was blogging originally was to tell you about what just happened.
I woke up. I looked outside to see the gross slushyness that is winter in ottawa. I gave into the flesh. I looked in the mirror and saw "unashamed" written on my cheek. LOL
That is honestly what happened. xPPPPPP It was so funny. Honestly. I AM unashamed. God has paid for all my sins. I prayed right there. I confessed. I thanked Him for everything he has done that I Can stand there unashamed even after such iniquity. Jesus died on the cross for our sins. We no longer deserve wrath when we confess our sins and are purified of all unrighteousness. We can demand justice because we have been bailed out by Jesus.
You may be thinking "Why was 'unashamed' written on his face..?" Well, yesterday I went to C4C and there's always a time of worship. We sang 'Unashamed' by Starfield and it was really cool, so I wrote it down on my hand so that I wouldn't forget to look it up later. I don't know when I had my hand on my face so that the ink transferred (probably when I was sleeping), but it's so funny.
Also, right after I prayed I looked outside and it was snowing, kinda blizzard-like in its wind and snow, but all the gross slushyness of winters in ottawa was covered up by fresh, pure, white snow. It stopped snowing like a minute afterwards.
So, here are two songs:
Unashamed:
and Jesus Paid It All:
So, ya. This never ending, unconditional love that is freely given to everyone is pretty amazing. If you don't fully know about it, you could go to a local church to find out, or if you wanted to you could message me about it and I could try to tell you more about it. xP
I'll talk to you later.
=D.Fa
The thing with MHS's play is that I knew everyone in it (mostly) and I thought a couple people were really really good in their roles. Especially NJ, MHC, MU and CK. TM overacts sometimes which is often very funny, but sometimes out of place.
I can't choose which is better because they are both special in their own ways and actually have a different tone to the play and don't end the same way, so really, its as if they were different plays.
Anyways, the reason that I was blogging originally was to tell you about what just happened.
I woke up. I looked outside to see the gross slushyness that is winter in ottawa. I gave into the flesh. I looked in the mirror and saw "unashamed" written on my cheek. LOL
That is honestly what happened. xPPPPPP It was so funny. Honestly. I AM unashamed. God has paid for all my sins. I prayed right there. I confessed. I thanked Him for everything he has done that I Can stand there unashamed even after such iniquity. Jesus died on the cross for our sins. We no longer deserve wrath when we confess our sins and are purified of all unrighteousness. We can demand justice because we have been bailed out by Jesus.
You may be thinking "Why was 'unashamed' written on his face..?" Well, yesterday I went to C4C and there's always a time of worship. We sang 'Unashamed' by Starfield and it was really cool, so I wrote it down on my hand so that I wouldn't forget to look it up later. I don't know when I had my hand on my face so that the ink transferred (probably when I was sleeping), but it's so funny.
Also, right after I prayed I looked outside and it was snowing, kinda blizzard-like in its wind and snow, but all the gross slushyness of winters in ottawa was covered up by fresh, pure, white snow. It stopped snowing like a minute afterwards.
So, here are two songs:
Unashamed:
and Jesus Paid It All:
So, ya. This never ending, unconditional love that is freely given to everyone is pretty amazing. If you don't fully know about it, you could go to a local church to find out, or if you wanted to you could message me about it and I could try to tell you more about it. xP
I'll talk to you later.
=D.Fa
26.11.10
The Name of Evil is "Beady Long Legs"!
Ok. This is mostly random. This post is coming from experience and from a certain picture I took on Canada Day. That picture. The sculpture reminds me of this monster in a video game.
The video game is called "Pikmin" and it is one of my favourite games ever. I even searched all over Ottawa to buy it a year or two ago. xP
Pikmin has strategic game play with discovery, excitement, "battling", collecting things, a time limit, and much much more.
Then there was Beady Long Legs. He flattened so many of my Pikmin.... TT.TT I rushed in with a whole pile of pikmin and he squished them! I grew an irrational fear for my Pikmin's lives whenever encountering a boss monster.
This is a video of Beady Long legs. Half of his pikmin are killed! T.T
Ttyl. xP.....
D.Fa
24.11.10
1 John 1:9 in a New Light
Hey, whatsup?
Today was pretty bad in some ways and pretty good in some other ways.
Lets start with the bad... xP
I skipped my first class. Actually I skipped two... xP
I forgot to pick up the course pack for film which contains a couple essay pertaining to my paper that is due in a week.
I procrastinated a lot today.
I skipped prayer meeting.
Some good things:
I can watch one of those classes later.. xP
I read "Un.Cover" a myCravings magazine thing which is a useful tool for evangelising because people can easily relate to cravings. I was also 'trained' with DK in the use of this tool.
I got to spend some time with DK. He hasn't been in class and he hasn't responded to my texts, so I had kinda given up on him... xP
I got a free meal from DK in the Res Commons Caf.
I went to RM's MDA group meeting and we went through a DG lesson that I had missed about walking in the light and confession.
It didn't rain. xP
I got a free meal from HK.
Ya. We did the whole writing your sins on a paper, scribbling 1 John 1:9 over it (I did it in red ink. xP) and then we burned them! xP. I suppose I expected 'business students' to be different, but they were normal people. xP...
I don't know. Today was cool.
D.Fa
Today was pretty bad in some ways and pretty good in some other ways.
Lets start with the bad... xP
I skipped my first class. Actually I skipped two... xP
I forgot to pick up the course pack for film which contains a couple essay pertaining to my paper that is due in a week.
I procrastinated a lot today.
I skipped prayer meeting.
Some good things:
I can watch one of those classes later.. xP
I read "Un.Cover" a myCravings magazine thing which is a useful tool for evangelising because people can easily relate to cravings. I was also 'trained' with DK in the use of this tool.
I got to spend some time with DK. He hasn't been in class and he hasn't responded to my texts, so I had kinda given up on him... xP
I got a free meal from DK in the Res Commons Caf.
I went to RM's MDA group meeting and we went through a DG lesson that I had missed about walking in the light and confession.
It didn't rain. xP
I got a free meal from HK.
Ya. We did the whole writing your sins on a paper, scribbling 1 John 1:9 over it (I did it in red ink. xP) and then we burned them! xP. I suppose I expected 'business students' to be different, but they were normal people. xP...
I don't know. Today was cool.
D.Fa
23.11.10
"A Soup Spoon is NOT Asian."
Hello everybody.
So, I did not stay up last night. I decided that it was a better idea to go to sleep for a few hours and just wake up a bit earlier than I was planning to (first time this year I get to sleep in! or not... xP) and work on the video then. I mean playing guitar loudly at midnight would not have worked. Either I would severely annoy the people trying to sleep on my floor, or I would have a dishwasher in the background noise on the main floor... >.>
So, ya. I woke up at 7:30ish... I wanted to wake up at like 7... anyways, I then played guitar until like 9:30..... xP........ (After having breakfast and having a shower and gelling my hair of course. xP) When my housemates woke up they were humming / singing the song I had been playing and were not really visibly mad at me at all, so I hope I didn't annoy them... xP
So, ya. I just finished submitting the video.... its 12:30.... xP
Today was rather boring. A lot of math. Followed by a relatively boring Philosophy lecture (ok it was kinda interesting although I do not intend to blog about it. although I still may... xP). Followed by a FILM class. John Wayne is kinda funny, pilgrim.
Anyways. I kinda wanna sleep now. I could sleep in if I wanted to and watch the lecture later (CHEM is recorded, so I could watch it after my BIOL class... hmmmm sleep or waking up early..? xP but I still havn't missed a class... Hmmmm)
Whatever... xP Me and Kelvin did lesson 3 today. I will talk about those lessons later. Also, 'The Guild' is a rather funny web series.
おやすみ
Ｄ。Ｆａ
P.S. I plan to start trying to "pray every hour" as a step toward living the spirit filled life and relying on God every minute for everything and not living on my own strength which always fails. xP... so ya. That's gonna start. xP
So, I did not stay up last night. I decided that it was a better idea to go to sleep for a few hours and just wake up a bit earlier than I was planning to (first time this year I get to sleep in! or not... xP) and work on the video then. I mean playing guitar loudly at midnight would not have worked. Either I would severely annoy the people trying to sleep on my floor, or I would have a dishwasher in the background noise on the main floor... >.>
So, ya. I woke up at 7:30ish... I wanted to wake up at like 7... anyways, I then played guitar until like 9:30..... xP........ (After having breakfast and having a shower and gelling my hair of course. xP) When my housemates woke up they were humming / singing the song I had been playing and were not really visibly mad at me at all, so I hope I didn't annoy them... xP
So, ya. I just finished submitting the video.... its 12:30.... xP
Today was rather boring. A lot of math. Followed by a relatively boring Philosophy lecture (ok it was kinda interesting although I do not intend to blog about it. although I still may... xP). Followed by a FILM class. John Wayne is kinda funny, pilgrim.
Anyways. I kinda wanna sleep now. I could sleep in if I wanted to and watch the lecture later (CHEM is recorded, so I could watch it after my BIOL class... hmmmm sleep or waking up early..? xP but I still havn't missed a class... Hmmmm)
Whatever... xP Me and Kelvin did lesson 3 today. I will talk about those lessons later. Also, 'The Guild' is a rather funny web series.
おやすみ
Ｄ。Ｆａ
P.S. I plan to start trying to "pray every hour" as a step toward living the spirit filled life and relying on God every minute for everything and not living on my own strength which always fails. xP... so ya. That's gonna start. xP
Atsui da yo... [あついだよ。]
My coat is far too warm....
Also, I have not seen the weather network channel in a few months.
Combined with "It's Movember"
So, I have my coat and it is like 10 degrees and rainy....... I should not have my coat.... Why can't it be snowy..?
xP........
Ya....
D.Fa
Also, I have not seen the weather network channel in a few months.
Combined with "It's Movember"
So, I have my coat and it is like 10 degrees and rainy....... I should not have my coat.... Why can't it be snowy..?
xP........
Ya....
D.Fa
22.11.10
Unfair
So, hey.
I've had a lot of time to think about stuff while I was at work today.
You see, before work and after school I was at home, I watched anime, ate some food that could be reffered to as lunch, did a physics assignment and then I was tempted and ended up looking breifly at some images. Telling yourself it is wrong doesn't help very much. I 'prayed' the usual 'prayer' "Lord, I'm sorry. Fill me with your spirit." 10 minutes later I was looking at similar images again, even while two of my housemates were in the other room... At this point I was getting a pretty bad headache I was also feeling pretty bad about what I had done.
I went to work. I was thinking about how much of a hypocrite I was. I'm kinda two-faced....
Then I was thinking about how selfish I was: Looking at those images one minute, praying that my headache would go away the next. It was very self-centered... Honestly, its not fair. I ask God to take away my pain, then I cause him pain by sinning. He died on the cross because I am selfcentered and would choose to sin for a brief moment of 'enjoyment' rather than relying fully on God.
After I realized this I sincerely prayed about all this stuff. Earlier I had read Psalms 31-34, somewhere in there is something about being in pain, praying then feeling better because God heals those who confess their sins. I also prayed that he would take away my headache and honestly in the middle of the prayer it just disappeared and hasn't bugged me since.
'Praying' for the sake of praying or saying the words you know you should be saying doesn't mean anything. Praying isn't a magic spell that gets you whatever you want. Praying is talking to God. In a relationship, does it mean anything if you only say the same couple of phrases a million times..? or keep at a distance by only saying things for appearances..? No. You have a relationship with God, so seriously speak to him, tell him how you are feeling, tell him honestly what is on your mind.
.
Ya, there was a lot of stuff I could blog about, but that seemed most important. xP
There's this video contest to win a 50$ gift certificate to Baton Rouge in Toronto and I think I will be working on my submission now. xP. Only 2 other people have entered so far, so getting anything will increase my chances. The way I am picturing my submission right now is like a youtube video of me playing guitar (except you only see the main part of the guitar, like kinda close up and me strumming it) and singing worship songs while the actual answer to the video contest question "Why are you going to WC?" is in text over the video (the guitar is black, so I think I can put the words there..?). I have never made a video, I have never edited a video, it is midnight, I can't play guitar very well, but this is what I want my video to be like.
So, ya.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
I've had a lot of time to think about stuff while I was at work today.
You see, before work and after school I was at home, I watched anime, ate some food that could be reffered to as lunch, did a physics assignment and then I was tempted and ended up looking breifly at some images. Telling yourself it is wrong doesn't help very much. I 'prayed' the usual 'prayer' "Lord, I'm sorry. Fill me with your spirit." 10 minutes later I was looking at similar images again, even while two of my housemates were in the other room... At this point I was getting a pretty bad headache I was also feeling pretty bad about what I had done.
I went to work. I was thinking about how much of a hypocrite I was. I'm kinda two-faced....
Then I was thinking about how selfish I was: Looking at those images one minute, praying that my headache would go away the next. It was very self-centered... Honestly, its not fair. I ask God to take away my pain, then I cause him pain by sinning. He died on the cross because I am selfcentered and would choose to sin for a brief moment of 'enjoyment' rather than relying fully on God.
After I realized this I sincerely prayed about all this stuff. Earlier I had read Psalms 31-34, somewhere in there is something about being in pain, praying then feeling better because God heals those who confess their sins. I also prayed that he would take away my headache and honestly in the middle of the prayer it just disappeared and hasn't bugged me since.
'Praying' for the sake of praying or saying the words you know you should be saying doesn't mean anything. Praying isn't a magic spell that gets you whatever you want. Praying is talking to God. In a relationship, does it mean anything if you only say the same couple of phrases a million times..? or keep at a distance by only saying things for appearances..? No. You have a relationship with God, so seriously speak to him, tell him how you are feeling, tell him honestly what is on your mind.
.
Ya, there was a lot of stuff I could blog about, but that seemed most important. xP
There's this video contest to win a 50$ gift certificate to Baton Rouge in Toronto and I think I will be working on my submission now. xP. Only 2 other people have entered so far, so getting anything will increase my chances. The way I am picturing my submission right now is like a youtube video of me playing guitar (except you only see the main part of the guitar, like kinda close up and me strumming it) and singing worship songs while the actual answer to the video contest question "Why are you going to WC?" is in text over the video (the guitar is black, so I think I can put the words there..?). I have never made a video, I have never edited a video, it is midnight, I can't play guitar very well, but this is what I want my video to be like.
So, ya.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
20.11.10
Blessings
Hey!
I should sleep soon, so I will attempt to make this quick while properly getting my point across. Here goes. xP
Tonight, no, today was really cool. Honestly I needed a break from school. Today I went to a missions conference thingee at church. There were speakers from our congregations as well as other organizations that our church is associated with (including C4C! xP ). I missed the epic project party last night ( C4C missions projects party thing. xP) and I really wanted to go. There would be a lot of info about what projects are, which projects are available, how you can get involed, etc. and I am kinda very somewhat interested in projects. >.> I can / will learn more at WC.
Anyways, this week I was asked if I could be a replacement worship team leader, and although I did not say yes, I did not say no either... xP even though it was definately not possible........ xP Like I could go to the practice and church on Sunday, but I did not have time this week to get the setlist together... I ended up staying after the missions thingee and being on worship team (bass/vocals) because it was right after. By the way, I am not really very good at singing in Mandarin (I was about to type 'Chinese' then realized I was not singing in 'Chinese' but mandarin. I wasn't even reading chinese. I was reading pinyin..?).
Me and CW played this really cool song after practice. NC did not like the way I was playing bass. I did. =DDDDDDD (in other words: really wide smile.)
Anyways, I got a ride home (I blogged at that point) and then had instant noodles while watching 'Family Guy' with RL.
I then went to MHS's production "6 Characters in Search of an Author". It was pretty cool. I like knowing people in the play. xP At the play I got to see a bunch of people I knew. A BUNCH including VB, JC, NJ, KFA, LT, JB, SD, DS, AS, MU, JT, MB, EG, FS, SS, JB, CN, PN, CW, TM, CB, DB, OD, EB, NW, MC, CK, and a bunch of other people. Almost all of the above people are / were drama people. This means that I was interacting in the way I would normally interact with drama people (a bit differently than the way I normally interact with people).
This combined with being asked earlier "If you could be any age for the rest of your life what would it be?" and thinking about how awesome grade 12 was, it made me really miss highschool / highschool drama. It's just so much more relaxed in highschool. xP However, if it were not for the fact that I live beside MHS, in a house in which I can bring over as many people as I want at whatever hour I want, and that I have a housemate that had Toy Story 3, this night would not have been nearly as amazing.
After the play, me, VB, CB and JC came over to my house (instead of crashing the cast party (50:50 chance and JC's coin chose movie)) to watch Toy Story 3. (TOTORO!!!!!!!! OMG!) It is pretty amazing. I havn't seen Toy Story in a while. I feel like I was in Elementary School when I saw Toy Story 2..?
Anyways, the point of this blog was to point out that I have rerealized that I really am blessed in a number of complicated ways that make an even bigger bunch of blessings. How I have been blessed:
-Amazing time at MHS
--many friends
--drama
--music
--just in general
-a semi-steady income which pays for
--band trips
--rent which means I have
---a house to which I can invite friends over
---housemates
-Church
--YF/ YA
--Camping Trips
--Missions Trip
--older and younger brothers/sisters
-C4C
--experiencing the mission of the church first hand.
-a number of other things I have forgotten at the moment... xP
So, ya. I'm in a good mood right now. xP
Ttyl.
D.Fa
P.S. Do you want to go for a sandwich..?
P.P.S. Someone got engaged this week. I am very happy for him. It's like he's my older brother.
I should sleep soon, so I will attempt to make this quick while properly getting my point across. Here goes. xP
Tonight, no, today was really cool. Honestly I needed a break from school. Today I went to a missions conference thingee at church. There were speakers from our congregations as well as other organizations that our church is associated with (including C4C! xP ). I missed the epic project party last night ( C4C missions projects party thing. xP) and I really wanted to go. There would be a lot of info about what projects are, which projects are available, how you can get involed, etc. and I am kinda very somewhat interested in projects. >.> I can / will learn more at WC.
Anyways, this week I was asked if I could be a replacement worship team leader, and although I did not say yes, I did not say no either... xP even though it was definately not possible........ xP Like I could go to the practice and church on Sunday, but I did not have time this week to get the setlist together... I ended up staying after the missions thingee and being on worship team (bass/vocals) because it was right after. By the way, I am not really very good at singing in Mandarin (I was about to type 'Chinese' then realized I was not singing in 'Chinese' but mandarin. I wasn't even reading chinese. I was reading pinyin..?).
Me and CW played this really cool song after practice. NC did not like the way I was playing bass. I did. =DDDDDDD (in other words: really wide smile.)
Anyways, I got a ride home (I blogged at that point) and then had instant noodles while watching 'Family Guy' with RL.
I then went to MHS's production "6 Characters in Search of an Author". It was pretty cool. I like knowing people in the play. xP At the play I got to see a bunch of people I knew. A BUNCH including VB, JC, NJ, KFA, LT, JB, SD, DS, AS, MU, JT, MB, EG, FS, SS, JB, CN, PN, CW, TM, CB, DB, OD, EB, NW, MC, CK, and a bunch of other people. Almost all of the above people are / were drama people. This means that I was interacting in the way I would normally interact with drama people (a bit differently than the way I normally interact with people).
This combined with being asked earlier "If you could be any age for the rest of your life what would it be?" and thinking about how awesome grade 12 was, it made me really miss highschool / highschool drama. It's just so much more relaxed in highschool. xP However, if it were not for the fact that I live beside MHS, in a house in which I can bring over as many people as I want at whatever hour I want, and that I have a housemate that had Toy Story 3, this night would not have been nearly as amazing.
After the play, me, VB, CB and JC came over to my house (instead of crashing the cast party (50:50 chance and JC's coin chose movie)) to watch Toy Story 3. (TOTORO!!!!!!!! OMG!) It is pretty amazing. I havn't seen Toy Story in a while. I feel like I was in Elementary School when I saw Toy Story 2..?
Anyways, the point of this blog was to point out that I have rerealized that I really am blessed in a number of complicated ways that make an even bigger bunch of blessings. How I have been blessed:
-Amazing time at MHS
--many friends
--drama
--music
--just in general
-a semi-steady income which pays for
--band trips
--rent which means I have
---a house to which I can invite friends over
---housemates
-Church
--YF/ YA
--Camping Trips
--Missions Trip
--older and younger brothers/sisters
-C4C
--experiencing the mission of the church first hand.
-a number of other things I have forgotten at the moment... xP
So, ya. I'm in a good mood right now. xP
Ttyl.
D.Fa
P.S. Do you want to go for a sandwich..?
P.P.S. Someone got engaged this week. I am very happy for him. It's like he's my older brother.
Impressions
So, this is not really random because I'm kinda in a car while he is driving, but anyways...
DW goes to my church and got married a short while ago. I hadn't really ever talked to him too much so I had the impression that he was an adult and therefore very mature.
I recently was told he still went to Carleton.
I more recently saw him breifly at Carleton.
I now cannot look at him the same way. Every time I see him I feel he is less mature than he was and I don't see him as an adult anymore... XP
I try to be honest when I blog.
I don't mean anything by that comment. It is just my honest feelings.
xP
D.Fa
[P.S. I don't really mean that he isn't an adult... because he is..? but I no longer see him as 'an adult' the way kids / YF see older people I guess... xP I suppose I've kinda grown older too, so a lot of people are no longer on the other side of this YF/YA border that is nearly uncrossable for YF especially because it is intimidating, but ya, now that I am on the other side, I suppose its different. I also realized, I'm kinda either 'an adult' already or I will be soon... xP]
DW goes to my church and got married a short while ago. I hadn't really ever talked to him too much so I had the impression that he was an adult and therefore very mature.
I recently was told he still went to Carleton.
I more recently saw him breifly at Carleton.
I now cannot look at him the same way. Every time I see him I feel he is less mature than he was and I don't see him as an adult anymore... XP
I try to be honest when I blog.
I don't mean anything by that comment. It is just my honest feelings.
xP
D.Fa
[P.S. I don't really mean that he isn't an adult... because he is..? but I no longer see him as 'an adult' the way kids / YF see older people I guess... xP I suppose I've kinda grown older too, so a lot of people are no longer on the other side of this YF/YA border that is nearly uncrossable for YF especially because it is intimidating, but ya, now that I am on the other side, I suppose its different. I also realized, I'm kinda either 'an adult' already or I will be soon... xP]
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