Matthew 4:4

Hey,

It's been a season or two. I've just returned from St. Catharine's where I was for the summer. I was honestly not really looking forward to coming back. It felt like when I left I was leaving all my problems behind, so the thought of coming back to them all seemed daunting and scary. But this week has been good so far. I feel like the thought I'm having the last couple days is that God sustains.

A habit I started while away was going to the gym. The basic thought of paying to run in place and lift heavy things that will just be put back is unappealing. However, the feeling of daily progressing towards a goal is great. And I have been making progress while I was away. The other real benefit was time to read. Taking the bus has always been my primary time to read since going to university, but I'd been driving around all summer to work and church and everything. But running on the spot gives you a lot of time to read and think. And you do actually start to notice you feel more irritable when you haven't been in a few days. ;P In any case, the point being, this is one thing that I feel is a good thing that God has given me to help through the transition. I'd been going to an Anytime Fitness, and if you are registered at one, you can use any of their locations anywhere at anytime. And one opened up down the hill from where I'm living while I was gone this summer.

Similarly, I've had a few days of work (which is always good and always makes me feel useful and like I'm actually accomplishing something). But it's actually so refreshing from work in the summer. I was working like 38-40 hours every week and it was a really high stress location where I was. It felt like there was never time to relax. Things were chaotic and there weren't too many people I could rely on. But at my new location (although it isn't my old location, which I dearly love, the place and all the people) everyone is so competent and cooperative. I look forward to working more with them and getting to know them. :3

Another thing, that I think is kinda weird, is that I find God speaks to me through pop songs a lot. All summer, driving, I'd had a lot of time to listen to the radio. And the more you listen to a song, the more you sing it, the more you meditate on the lyrics. (They also frequently talk about love, which makes it easy to connect to God's love and my need for Him). Honestly, I Don't Care by Ed Sheeran and Justin Bieber is like one of my favourite songs to sing right now. I literally just sang it out loud at the gym while running (I'm real happy my new gym plays pop songs instead of classic rock. ;P). The gist of the song is that it doesn't really matter where we are, so long as you (my love; or you can read God) are with me, we'll be ok, we'll have a good time. And some of the lyrics speak deeper to me: you're making me feel like maybe I am somebody" or "you're making me feel like I'm loved by somebody". Which, those thoughts are things I think about a lot. Like am I worth anything? Can anybody really love me if they knew all my secrets and sin? But God sees past that all. He has loved me. He has shown me that. Even if no one else does (which isn't true anyways) He will always love me and be there for me.

That's kinda been my head all summer. I'd been pretty isolated and felt useless and like I was going nowhere and God gave me a message speaking exactly to me where I was at. Most of the summer the messages had been pretty meh, but this one used like all the verses that stick to my heart, spoke specifically to my situation running away from life into the isolating desert, and that God is still seeing me and caring for me and calling me home. If you want to give it a listen you can watch it here: God Who Sees Me. (and Meghan and her family was like the best part of the small group I was in this summer, but that's a story for another time).

Even yesterday a song got stuck in my head. And you know when like the chorus is so easy to get and the verses you barely know? Ya, this is one of those. I literally only know the prechorus and chorus. :P "You said hey whatcha doing for the rest of your life And I said I don’t even know what I’m doing tonight ... and you said I never regretted the day that I called you mine". And I get that just from that it's a bit of a stretch, but I started thinking "what am I doing tonight? I don't even know. I don't have a plan for my future. I don't know where I'm going." and that line "and you said I never regretted that day that I called you mine" just got stuck in my head and made me think again about myself and how I frequently feel like I'm not good enough for God, or like I've wasted the last few years or like have no solid plans for the future, but God has called me his. LT way back on the day I was baptized said that day was great not just because I was saying "God is my God" but because it also meant God was saying "You are mine". And God says "I will never leave or forsake you." If He has called me His, He has no regrets. He knew everything that would happen after that day and somehow He still loves me. And like, I know those things, but reflecting on it from a stupid pop song somehow just gets deeper sometimes than hearing it from a page of the Bible. : /

I was walking home from the gym praying. Looking at the blue sky and the rain-soaked ground and breathing the fresh air thinking "God thank you for all you provide. Everything a tree needs, rain, air, sun. You do that for me too." Then I got home and read a book I'm going through. It's like studying a verse a day for like personal devotion time. It was Psalm 1:2-3 "But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers."

It's the little words.
It's the perfect coincidences.
It's the feeling of comfort and familiarity even in large transition.
It's a faithfulness that blows me away.
It's only by the words that come from God's mouth that what little faith I have can be sustained and used to encourage others and bring Him glory and give me true joy and delight in following Him.

That's what I'm thinking today anyway.
#thankful

D.Fa







PS. Just went to go link the music video for I Don't Care and watched it for the first time. My goodness. This is an insanely funny editing job. ;P

CHEM 1001

Hey.

I have now completed a University exam. It's practically the same thing as a highschool exam, just on a larger scale. They are apparently scarier when it comes to cell phones and other potential cheating, the exam room is WAY bigger, but the exam itself is only 11 pages... xP

Okay... I failed again today..... After I went and finished my studying. I turned on the radio (CHRI) and there were a few talks. Mostly they were about prioritizing and wasted time etc. It was talking about how Jesus only had 3 years to do the biggest thing any man has ever done, save the world, yet he took the time every morning to pray and spend time with God and he was never rushing to get anywhere, one of his biggest sermons was to one woman at a well.

How can I really rely on God if I'm not even talking to him very much. Okay.... I've been failing because I've been relying on myself again. I am going to try to spend 15 minutes of every four hours in prayer/reading a passage and reflecting on it.

Earlier I was thinking "Seek first His kingdom and His righteosness and all these things will be given to you." I was using this as an excuse to not study last second. Instead I would go sharing around 5:30 and be doing His work. Then the test would be guarenteed. I mean it is just something else, just another thing. What is going to last..? Only what is done for love's reward will stand the test of time, or so the song goes... xP

In the end, I forgot my calculator and had to walk home after waiting at a bus stop for 10 minutes... It was so cold... xP But, really, my planning had failed. Emphasis on MY.

Ya, I really need to sleep so that I can wake up and study for Bio... xP I'm gonna waste a lot of time on Pizza buffet and Singing Christmas Tree tommorow, so I really need to get to work...

Also, you guys should pray for RL. I will be. This morning at 10 he said he was going to sleep and that I should wake him up at 12. I then hear video game sounds from the other side of his closed door for 2 hours as I study. I then hear him "go back to bed" then "wake up" then start a new game. I then go to 'wake him up' and he says good morning. I tell him that he's been playing video games for two hours, he says, no I just started. See, look at the counter (it says how long he's been playing...)... He then played for another two hours. Now, at midnight he plans to 'study' for two hours, go to sleep and wake up 5 hours later then bus to school for a 9am exam........ He is watching Glee.

JW says that 'parenting won't help him' and that 'if he makes mistakes he'll learn from them.' I don't want him to fail. I don't want him to starve. I don't want him to be sleep deprived. I don't want him to waste his life on video games (It is seriously taking over his life.).

Ya.......

Ttyl.

D.Fa

Far East Movement is also a good band. xP

New Life

Hey.

I havn't blogged in a couple days. Stuff happens. I had quite a bit of work this week. Also, I had meetings about next weeks VBS in Brooklyn. Wow... less than a week left. And my laptops's internet gets mad at me for no reason sometimes. and my cellphone was in CW's car last night.

So, ya. A brief update:

1. We all sang "As The Deer" in Bakery. It was very unexpected.
2. Bats aren't that scary... It's not an ax murderer or anything.
3. September 12th is one month away.
4. "Are they Po'..?"
...
"What..?"
"Are they Po'?"
...
"What..? Are they Poor..?"
"Ya. Are they Po'?"
5. I very much dislike wearing shorts.
6. Seriuosly my absolute favourite thing that I have ever done and hope to do again often is seriously to sing with a crowd at a worship concert. Especially if the person beside me is good at singing, so we can sing in harmony.
7. Mysterious Mushrooms!
8. Charmander FTW.
9. H-E-R-O, God is my Hero!!!!!
10. zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba.

I probably missed a lot, but that is a vague summary of some random events that happened these last couple days.

So, ya. #3. September is the date for our OCBC church picnic. That day there will be a baptism service. Hopefully, I will participate. That is to say. I will be baptised. My first assignment is to write a summary (half page max) of what I understand the gospel to be.

I will be writing it here. =D

In the beggining there was God. He created the world. The universe. Plants, animals and finally He created humans in His pure and holy image so that we may have a relationship with Him and watch over creation. Since then we have all sinned and turned away from God and that sin was passed down from generation to generation. God loved the world, but our sin kept us from having a relationship with Him because he is holy and we were not, so he sent his only begotten son, Jesus. Jesus lived around 33 years and although he was tempted in every way that we have been, he never fell to sin and temptation; he went through everything a human would, but was God. The punishment for sin is death. We deserved death and judgement for our sins. Even though he was sinless, he died on the cross and payed the price for our sins. He removed our sin, past present and future, the sins of the whole world for all time and gave us his righteousness. His blood has washed away our sins and made us perfect in His sight that we may have a relationship with God. Jesus was ressurected on the third day after his crucifiction and showed himself to hundreds of witnesses. Jesus has victory over death and sin and with him we also share in this victory and will share eternal life with him in heaven. Until then God has given us the Holy Spirit within us to help us grow into His likeness. Drawing from the power he has given us, relying on it everyday, turning away from sin and professing Jesus as Lord over our lives we can be born again with new life.

That was probably too much..? Probably adding a bit at the beggining and the end that isn't 'the gospel', but it's all important, right?

So, ya. I've really felt I should tell K(?) that I'm getting baptised.

Anyways.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

These are two songs I've been hearing on the radio.





"Hey AL. It seems that 'daily' is a bit too hard, eh? I mean you only get a somewhat 'monthly' report from RL. >.> xP I don't have a girlfriend."

The Heart Of Worship

Hey. Today I spent the good part of 5 hours or so reading / singing / listening to / reformattiong worship music. I went through at least 70% of the songs on the website. I figured: 1. If I don't know the name of the song, I probably don't know it. 2. If its a christmas song, it's irrelevant. 3. If it has 4 verses, it's too long. 4. If I don't know it, it's not worth trying.

I mean if I chose a new song it would just be me and AL singing... If I choose a song everyone knows, everyone will sing. This is a big thing to me because back in my first year of the camping trip, at the time I hadn't really been to church or really sang too many worship songs, so I really didn't know any. And I like singing, so not knowing any of the words sucked... So most of the songs are Starfield, Chris Tomlin and other stuff like that.

I had the most disgusting thing for lunch today... Like you know how some things are tasty, but when you put them together they are disgusting..? Peanut Butter, Balogna, Curry Powder, Onions, Mustard, and Soy Sauce in a wrap. Honestly disgusting..... So I just ate PB and J after that... xP

CHRI is amazing. Someone else told me they were Christian / asked me if I was today because they heard the radio playing in the backroom. It's actually so cool finding out someone is Christian. Hehe.

So, ya. It appears as though my baptism will be in September.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

"Hey AL! I'll talk to you tommorow! =D I don't have a girlfriend... =["

Some Videos of songs I listened to today.

Sketchy Medical Treatment

So. Ya.

I will start this post by again saying that my day was boring. However there was a few interesting things.

I woke up. Made kinda tasteless scrambled eggs. Watched anime. Called work. Watched anime. Did laundry. Watched anime. Made soy/lemon/chicken/ginger/curry rice using ingredients in my house. It was pretty good. Shoyu wa oishii desu yo. Watched anime. Cleaned the kitchen, mostly because my brother has been cleaning the house because he wants money... Watched anime. Ate supper. Watched anime. Did a bible study. Read memory verses. Watched an anime movie which ended in a cliffhanger....... There's going to be another movie eventually...

So. Yesterday my mom told me that when I wake up this morning to call work and tell them I couldn't go. She wanted me to take a sick day which I had never done before. I called. Asked to speak to my boss. I told him I would be unable to work today because I sprained my ankle and he thanked me for calling. I found it strange that it was so easy... I hope they found someone to cover my shift....... I would have gone in if they needed me......

So, ya. In my room there is a vent for A/C and heating. Since my house is always freezing, the vents are always pumping out cold air, right? So I covered the vent with a shirt and put my foot under it. xP This is the medical treatment for my foot. Cold air. I have yet to see any actual physician about my 'sprained' ankle, but it feels better I guess... It's more blue/purple then yesterday, but less swollen and more moveable. There must be a lot of blood in my foot to bruise all the way around from the top of my toes to my ankle on all sides... ... it's kinda gross thinking about all that blood in my foot.......

Ya. Lunch was tasty. I sauteed onions and garlic in olive oil then added curry powder, cayenne pepper, cumin and ginger powder (it would have been better with real ginger, but I didn't have any...). Then I added the rice with chicken stock, soy sauce and water (only because I didn't have enough chicken stock...). I added fresh chives from our backyard (we planted them like 5 or more years ago and some are still growing each year...) and half a lemon of lemon juice. I also kinda kept adding the spices and soy... a lot more of each. Hehe. It was tasty.

I admit I've been watching too much anime. I just have too much free time... and I could make some excuses like today was a sick day I'm supposed to do nothing and give medical treatment to my injury, which I can do while watching anime (My foot is cold... >.>), but ya... It is a bit too much...

I finished reading 'Mere Christianity'. It is a good book, but I don't read much so I don't know how good my review really is. As I was reading I deffinately agreed with almost everything if not everything he was saying. The point of the book, which was originally a series of radio talks was to explain clearly, to the war stricken British people, what Christians believe. So although it is very good at explaining, it doesn't really go very deep into things, or say anything that would be very controversial and he starts off in a very roundabout way of saying things. I found his explainations very good in general, but I don't really like history / war (which many of his comparisons were centered on) so I was kinda... okay I'm indifferent about them because they were good examples. So, ya, I'd recommend it, but it's deffinately aimed at beginners, although I suppose if you have become 'advanced' in your faith this could always backup the foundation or something..?

I'm gonna sleep.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

"Hey AL, I havn't uploaded the Montreal pictures yet because I'm still uploading Chicago pictures. xP It may be another couple weeks before they get uploaded... xP I don't have a girlfriend yet. =P"

Garden Glen Private

So. I woke up today and went to church by bus. I actually read my new testament on the bus today because I didn't have time before leaving. John 16 I think.

The Brooklyn meeting was kinda unorganized, but I don't blame CW. He was doing as he was instructed. I just don't think CL should be in charge of a group of 10 grade 1-2s by herself...... xP... I think the adults need to take more responsability. xP...

Worship was cool.

She looked cute today... like when I saw her it was like wow... what do I say..? I didn't say anything to her...

After church we went to JK's house. This is where RL decided he was going to live. It's pretty cool, but the walls are all scuffed up... xP

I ended up running home then going to work immediately, but one thing that made me really happy today was this phone. Yesterday I put some songs on it and although it's way too loud for normal listening or listening in private, if you don't care who hears and are in a noisy environment it's so cool. xP I had it like full blast in my back pocket / hand while I was going home and after 7pm (when gospel groove comes on... >.>) I was listening to it instead of CHRI.

Work was kinda boring. I was done everything by 8ish, so I just cleaned for the last 2 hours. xP No one ever actually seriously cleans, so I end up doing it.

I have just uploaded 100 more pictures.

I'm gonna sleep and wake up at like 5:45....

Oyasumi.

=D.Fa

"Hey AL. It's really bugging me. Those walls in JK's house. I need to clean them... Am I obsessive..? No..? Maybe..? Yes..? I don't have a girlfriend though. Hehe."

New K-On OP/ED. Mio > Yui

Repetition.

I don't really like getting into a regular schedule. I find regular schedules way too boring. xP Spontaneity makes me happy. The only problem with spontaneity is that some things don't get done spontaneously... xP

I really enjoy taking trips. It causes the daily schedule to be put on hold for a week or so and when I get back I have to do some catch up, but it isn't a regular schedule again until I've caught up.

Anyways, the point is that my life is too repetative right now... work is basically a bunch of small repetative things and to top it off, I've been there for two years. I got a raise last week though... =D ... to 15 cents above minimum... >.>

Ya...

Today I woke up, eventually, went to work, went home, went to work (I was going to go straight from work, but it rained for a couple minutes, so I waited half an hour), dried the courts, played with my brother and then I've been on my laptop for a while.

Recently I've been watching "Shinigami no Ballad" as my extra anime. There are only 6 episodes, but it's a really cool show. It's about this shinigami who is kinda nosy and helps people with their lives.

At work I heard this song on the radio while I was preparing the lettuces (72 heads of iceburg... >.> so boring....).



Casting Crowns is a really cool band. If I ever end up going to Salem Storehouse (I've never gone, but AL has told me I should go...) then I'm gonna buy their CD.

So, ya... Ooooooh. So at the tennis courts people usually get there by bike. There wasn't any bike rack or anything before so people would have to bring them on to the courts, which is not allowed, or lock them to the fences, but there isn't that much room. A couple of days ago there appeared two new bike racks. I didn't think anyone had named them, so I took the initiative. xP



The one on the *looks at hands* left is the S.S. St. Laurier, and the one on the right is the Sir John A. Macdonald Parkway. There is nothing wrong with those names, is there..? What would you have named them..? My brother thought they were ridiculous names. "You can't just make up a saint..!" I never said I did... That's just his name.

So, ya...

ttyl.

D.Fa

"Hey AL, it's normal to name things you own, right? It's normal to name squirrels you see often, right..? It's normal to name inanimate objects, right.....? I don't have a girlfriend though."

A Light in the Darkness

So. ya...

Today was another day. From work to more work. xP bad planning kinda, but whatever.

I woke up at 7. Played some PvZ. Did a Bible Study about Jesus' Lordship in our lives. He is Lord over the dead and the living, whether you like it or not.

Work was a bit different today. I have worked there for just over two years, but I really havn't made any new friends. I never really talk to anyone very long and some people I don't talk to at all normally. The one exception to that is people working in Bakery because they are right beside Produce and will have a shift at the same time, but ya, generally I don't talk to people and I get my work done. Today, however, there were actually 5 people in Bakery at once (two people were in training...) and because I normally talk to this one girl, I ended up talking to most of them. Especially because there was so little to do...

Also, becuase of the conflict between work and church in the schedule for Sunday I had to tell my boss which church I go to the other day. He was also at work while I was today. I usually listen to CHRI and it's often a sermon during the day, so as he was quartering watermelon, he was joking like "What are we listening to..? You're not trying to convert me or something! I'm already an outstanding Anglican citizen." This was kinda awkward... xP

Later, one of the trainees asked me if I was a christian. She apparently really likes CHRI. She goes to Bethel Pentecostal and has been for 30 years. When I said I go to OCBC she was like "I've heard of it" and I was thinking "..? really..?" because like we don't even have our own building, and it's kinda far away, so there must be a deeper reason then just "Oh, I saw a sign..!" so ya... She was saying how at the end of the day she usually has to ask for forgiveness for some of the things she says / does at work because it is a rather vulgar place... xP I mean, most of the employees are like 20 year olds and tell dirty jokes and listen to HOT89.9...

Ya. The radio playing CHRI in the corner of the backroom while everyone is messing around is like a light in darkness.

Micah 7:8
Do not gloat over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness the Lord will be my light.

So, ya. At my other job I read some of this book "Mere Christianity" by CS Lewis. Apparently I am making minimum wage at that job. I thought I wasn't. I diddn't care because its practically not work.

Ya.

D.Fa

"Hey AL. I heard this song on the radio (not the radio in the backroom, the one in bakery) while I was putting out apples. I really like how this song sounds, even if it isn't the best technically, I mean the band doesn't make sense and their rapping isn't great... So, ya... I don't have a girlfriend."