Emotions

I literally don't understand them.

Like, actually. Through the course of today I went from feeling tired, to feeling grief and sadness, to feeling guilty, to feeling suuuuuper mad, to feeling super fearful, judgmental, lonely, it goes on. So many feelings. So little time. And so little understanding of why they were there and what they meant and how I can deal with them.

I think I need some sleep.

So, I moved. Past tense. Completed. Today my last roommate helped move my box spring and that was the last thing. And y'know, it's honestly pretty annoying. The last week he's been like the best roommate. I don't know what the difference is. Why this week? What did I do? What is prompting him to act like a human being? The first day I had moved most things I eventually laid down and went to sleep. The next day was great. I felt so free and at peace. I'd removed myself from this situation that constantly made me angry and mad. But then I started thinking more about what it meant to him. In the course of like 4 weeks I went from "I'm looking at places" one day. To "I'm moving to that place" the next. To "I'm moving sometime next month". To "oh actually I think I'm moving this week". To "Oh, I'm moving today." And too bad for him. I'm out. What does it matter to him? Did I improve his life in any way? I hated so many little things and was pretty passive aggressive about them. I don't think I did anything of value for him. So much of the time I tried to avoid him. I answered almost every single question he asked with sarcasm or non-answers. 

But this week he's great.

Could I have avoided all of this if I had just been a bit mature and owned up to my actions and communicated honestly with him?

Maybe. Maybe not. I literally don't want to see him for like a few months if possible. I want to remove him from my facebook friends. I want to remove any indicator that we could have been good roommates. I'm past it. I'm moving on.

And I think that's part of what's making me so guilty about it, mad at myself. I literally spent like 2 hours just talking to my one roommate T (the one who lives in the basement with me). He was just reading a book outside, so I went and asked him questions. We talked about so many random things (he did a 45-day trip to Japan in 2015. yo. sign me up.) I legit don't think I've talked to my last roommate more than like 2 minutes at a time over the entire like 9 months. We went to dinner once at a mutual friend couple's house. My mindset was "I need to pretend to tolerate this guy for the next 3 hours". Like what the heck is that? I barely know roommate T and like I want to know more. I want to be reliable for him. I want to be able to talk openly with him. I also want to just hang with roommate J. I'm like trying to brainstorm things we could do together. 

The comparison of mental attitudes is just so stark. Why?

But I'm here now. and I'm rolling with the punches. I'm trying to get my old roommate a new roommate. And he's just as complaining about the whole process as he was about everything. "This is going so fast." Ya man. There's only like 78 days until either you are evicted or someone moves in. 2 months is the legal notice I need to give, so basically everyone looking for a house should ideally have their plans made 2 months in advance. This is the window. This is when everyone is looking and everyone is posting options.

I kinda wish it was normal for me to be physically violent when I'm mad. Then it would get across.

Instead I'm stuck in this weird zone of never really revealing how mad I am and just pretending I'm not and no one gets it. 

I mean, I don't get it. Most anger seems petty to me. When is it not? I don't know where the line is drawn. Maybe I'm sheltered. Maybe I've spent too much of my life trying to please everyone around me and fit in and not stir the pot. I don't fight for me. Maybe that's why I'm here. Maybe that's why this tornado of emotions leaks out sometimes. Maybe that's why I have no idea what I feel, or how I should feel, or what I should do if I feel that way.

Whatever.

D.Fa

I'm Basically a Nomad

 Yo.

So, I'm preparing to move. Which, honestly, was a phrase I was kinda hoping I wouldn't be saying for a while. Starting May 2019 I had moved every 4 months until this September. I've been here since then. Not gonna lie, I reaaaaaaaally miss my place back 2 years ago. I was living with a guy I basically consider my best friend, in a really cool modern condo, in a really good part of town, working at a great Starbucks store, and my Masters was finally done. but I needed a change. I was tired and burnt out (sounds a little familiar eh?). So we left the city, gave our 2 months notice, and went to live with his parents for the summer.

God really provided in that move.

That's what I thought. That's how I saw things. With how quickly decisions had to be made we went from living in Ottawa with no changes one day, to preparing to leave the city in two weeks. I prepared to have no job for a few weeks or more. I cancelled payments to my TFSA. I prepared to have nothing for a bit. And as I was walking home from work early one day I got a call from my future boss who had previously said I could probably be transferred over as a barista. She called to inform me that she had talked to my current boss and was really in need of a supervisor that was focused on standards and routines and store operations (yo. that's me) and that she had a store that could use me for a couple weeks as I get added to the upcoming schedules. Yo. I'm moving and keeping my job at full pay, with shifts the week I arrive. Went from bankrupt to able to pay my two rents, and ended up making a good amount of savings that summer.

Anyways, lived at my parents' one semester. Moved in to where my roommate had been for a semester after he went back to Niagara (he only had one semester left). The world shut down in March, but me and one of my now current roommates had already planned a place to live for the summer (long story short, the lease wasn't renewed on the place we had been and he needed to live somewhere for 4 months before getting married). So, in May I moved to another place for the summer (he ended up in Toronto most of the summer with the option to work from home allowing him to). And in September I moved in here with my now current roommate. We looked at like 4 or 5 other places that were more my price point, but they were all reallllllll sketch. This place is nice. It's a little high for me, but the landlady could definitely charge more. It doesn't really have real issues. The main issue for me though, is my roommate.

So, and I'll state this upfront, he isn't a bad guy. He's a little quirky, but he is a good guy. He does a lot of good stuff for church and his family. He's working a job he doesn't really care that much for. He's got nothing to do outside the house because he's a coder and a gamer. So he's always on his computer. But when he's not, he's in the kitchen washing dishes, or cooking a fairly complex dinner at midnight. Ya. The thing that really makes us incompatible is our schedules. He's a 10-3 on the dot kinda guy and depending on the day I need to be up by 6, 8, or 10. Lately, it's 1-2 times a week I'm up at 6. That's 3 hours after he goes to bed. And like, he's generally not loud in his room (although the walls are fairly thin, he does speak more quietly when he knows I'm trying to sleep), but in the kitchen cooking full pot roasts and soups and casseroles at 11 or midnight when my door really doesn't keep much light or sound out is reallllly not helpful. He also tends to be extremely passive; lots of talking "to himself" but like only when I'm in earshot; or like hovering to see what I'm doing; or asking me really unnecessary questions like "how's the weather?" when I've been inside for 4 hours; or like not using his words just a lot of "hmmm?"s. And I have nowhere to get away from it.

I kept finding myself asking if I could stay here longer? Could I live with him longer? Would I rather live with strangers? Could I just talk to him and resolve these things?

I didn't want to.

And that's saying something, because I really don't want much these days. But I had built up a lot of anger towards him, and I just need to get away. So I started browsing some listings. Looked around. Sent some messages. Didn't expect much because I was planning to move in September, and was looking around in May. I expected that July would be a good time to really take it seriously. whenever I'd scroll on facebook I'd get the facebook market ads for places nearby that were similar to my previous searches. And so I sent off some more messages. I got a message back.

This place sounded pretty good. Good price. Great location. I'd have a couple more roommates, which is probably good for me. Oh, the lease starts in June, and did I mention I have a couple mice to bring with me? Might as well see it, but it's unlikely that I'll sign. It would really come down to meshing well with the 4 guys there. If I'm just an outsider among them it would be bad for sure. If they're pretty cool it could work, maybe.

Went to see the place one day before work. I took an extra shift, just in case I need to start paying extra rent. Did my due diligence as far as looking for mold under sinks and whatever. But I mainly needed to meet the guys. The one I had been messaging was out. The guy that manages the house showed me around, he was chill. Got back to the living room and another one of the guys was there. So I talked with the two of them for a bit. The third guy passed by briefly at one point. Apparently they'd all like gone to elementary school or something together way back and just happened to end up living together. They're all really chill guys that kinda just go with the flow. All four of them had been working from home as of late with government jobs. Pretty normal here in Ottawa. My room would be in the basement and share a bathroom with guy #3, who is the tidiest of the group. A little intimidating, but he seemed cool too. Ended up finding out that that second guy went to highschool with me when I was in grade 12; he was in grade 9 then. Small talk could only go so far and they needed to get back to work. I walked away pretty excited about it, but a little torn by the prospect of paying so much rent this summer. 

So I walked to work. I was like an hour early because I had expected to be at the house a bit longer. So I sat in the back and just talked to whoever was on break. They each had wondered why I was there so early, and, I had complained a fair amount about my current roommate, so I kinda just filled them all in on the house I had just seen. I was enthusiastically telling them about they guys, my connection to them through that guy in highschool, my mutual friends with the 4th guy I'd been messaging, how much rent I'd be saving monthly, how my bedroom would be bigger, how there were two living rooms, how there was like 4 times more counter space in the kitchen. I went on and on. I worked. I went home. I planned to sleep on it.

But then it hit me.

I'd been so excited about it that I literally talked about it for an hour. What would I do if it got sold before I got back to them? So I messaged him back and said I'm in if they're cool with me. I paid rent (wait a sec. I need to pay my current roommate. There.), got the key the other day, talked more with the 1st and 4th guys, made sure they were cool with my mice, and walked off into the sunset. ;P I could move any day. I looked it up, the car sharing program I'm signed up for has a small van available and it'd be way cheaper than renting a moving van.

So now it's really hit. I'm packing. I'm moving. I won't have to be mad at my roommate, or try in vain to hide from him. I can get a new start again.

I'm really excited to get to know my new four roommates and live in a bigger place. :)

Anyways, I gotta go sleep.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

PS. I've been really into the whole Offline TV gang and got into their Among Us stuff this last year. It's led down a rabbit hole into listening to a whole bunch of streamers' personal music. Here's what I've been listening to while writing this, but like, a 1 hour version. ;P LilyPichu is pretty great. :3

First Frosh Finale

Hey guys!

Super crazy week this one has been!

Saturday 8am-5pm

We were on campus moving half of the students into residence. It was a really great time of getting to interact more with my team and getting to work together with the other facilitators. The main thing that made me think was just how much of a great service it is having all the facils helping move people into res. You pull up in a minivan packed to the egdes with bags, boxes, clothes, books, etc. with just you, and your parents. The task of moving in might take a while. 5 minutes later you are done. How? The 20 facils that grabbed a box moved it all in one trip! All of them with smiles and a desire to help welcome you and give a hand. I really enjoyed this day and just getting to see all the excited first year students got me really pumped!

Sunday 8am-1am

Repeat of yesterday. I wore different shoes because I got blisters from my converses. lol. By the end of the day everyone starts getting really tired. There was a meal for off campus frosh and we got to meet them for a bit although a bunch didn't end up participating in most of the week. At 7 or something Ravenpalooza happened. It was like a pep rally and there was also Second City doing improv and sketch comedy. After that was the much video dance! I got to meet a couple frosh and patrolled around the room. The dance was really fun. We also walked people home, either to res or their cars or a little further. Safety precautions. I was dead tired when I got home. I got a drive home which is awesome because it started pouring. lol

Monday 8am-2am

Roundup the frosh by pounding on their doors and chanting Slinky cheers! We got to meet and talk to our frosh for the first time. Asian guy with super British accent, what?! It doesn't work in my head. I think he's impersonating a Beatle. >.> Umm. A workshop and a play. Also at the same time we were scrambling to move in the last 500 students into the new incomplete res building. Then we all went off to the canal and had canal games! Fun carnival style games pitting team against team. Always included a cheer off and then we'd switch stations and do it again. Games included inflatable obstacle courses, a dunk tank, a real life battleship game. Then we prepared for the team dance competition. LOL. E(?) was so stressing out about our choreography. At the end of the dance was a cheer and they all did really well. All 17 teams used a different song! Except for 'Teach me how to Douggy'. >.> Then dinner time. Afterwards was CU@Night! Two dances, BINGO!, Trevor Boris, and Karaoke. It was a lot of fun too. Afterwards me and AL walked a couple engineer students most of the way home. They live a little further than me, so we walked together to my house then split ways. So tired. lol.

Tuesday 8am-11pm

Wake up! Then we all went off to that grassy area by the uncovered teepee and had a 'Spirit Roundup' where every team did a lot of cheering and there were two competitions (I think) the Burp-Off and Pudding Eating contests. Either way, afterwards we all walked along the canal down to the beaches! It was beach day! The main events were sand castle building and cheer competition, volleyball, and dodgeball. There was free redbull and other stuff too. We spent a lot of time working on our castle. We got to work right away and made an amazing sandcastle! (Ours was the only castle!!!) All the others were really good too. Umm. After we went back and had dinner. Then we rounded up the frosh and went to the concert!! Stereokid and Down with Webster! 'Whoa!' It was a lot of fun. I was in the middle of the crowd with NC and JC (same last name. lol) great concert, but Stereokid may have been better musicians.



Wednesday 6pm-11pm

Ok. Wednesday I woke up at 8 and got to work. I had to prepare for school. I hadn't bought any books or even knew where my classes were yet. I got a lot done. I went to the bookstore and I don't really remember a lot of it. lol. Then I had dinner with JC and one of his friends. Also a trombone player! Then I had to go roundup the Slinkys to go to the Expo! What is the Expo? It is where pretty much all the organizations, clubs, Societies, and campus groups get together and show the frosh what they are, give out free things and have contests. It was pretty wild. So many people in such a small space. I didn't get very much free stuff, but I got to see a bit about Foot Patrol and a number of other groups. After that was a (really bad) talent show of a couple groups from Carleton. The South Asian Alliance Dance group was okay. They won 500$ for their club. Last of the night was 'MTV's The Buried Life'. Reading this on the schedule I thought 'Oh no... MTV. This is going to be bad.' They are really cool four guys who in their own circumstances came to think about their lives and what they wanted to do before they died. They wrote a list of 100 things and started getting to work completing them. It started as a two week trip, but it got extended over and over. They also along the way decided they should help others achieve their dreams. They have helped a lot of people with a number of really cool projects. One of the things on their list was to have a television show. Eventually they signed on to MTV when they were approached, but they told them that they'd be in control of the episodes and filming and everything. So it's still a good show, just on MTV. lol.

Thursday 10am-1:30am

First day of classes! I had one lecture in the morning. Organic Chemistry with my prof is going to be awesome. No textbooks. Just the lecture slides and schedules all printed and bound into an 80$ book of things we actually need. He's a really cool prof too. I got to help JS with the current C4C outreach contest '$1000 in Change' campaign by handing out short surveys and talking to people a bit for a couple hours. Later I went to get more books. The bookstore's lines were sooooo long. Then I went home to see my mom. She has been back since Sunday morning and she is much better. She is having a bit of a vision problem, but she is mobile and eating and feeling much better. She had been off her feet for a long time though, so she's getting readjusted to walking. This is a chance to start over. She's lost a lot of weight, lost a lot of pills, is eating better. Keep praying for her. Then I got a drive to school for some follow-up training for the campaign. Then I had Stats at 6. It ended early and there was no lab that night. Then roundup for the Ravens basketball game against California. There were so many frosh that the facils were kicked out of the stands. I read the Un.Cover magazine which speaks about our cravings and how they can point to there being a source of these cravings and something that can satisfy them. We won the game! Then we went off to Alumni Park on campus to watch ToyStory3! I ended up talking with two of the frosh most of the time though even after the movie was done. One of them is from Iqaluit and has a lot of crazy stories. They both like curling and theyb talked about that for way too long. >.>



Friday 7am-11pm

First up, pancake breakfast! It was really good. I kinda slept in a bit, so I didn't do any round up. After it was time to Shine! Friday was Shine day. You see, every year Carleton University donates a large amount to Shinearama, a foundation that does Cystic Fibrosis research. Today's schedule was empty except for shining, meaning going and collecting spare change donations from people all over the city. I had chem class at 10 though, so I went to that. KG is in my phys chem class. We went to Haven to get some books. 'They are upstairs and there is no room on the shelves right now until these books are sold. Come back next week.' Kinda annoying, but the design book I was reading in the check-out line was interesting. Then I was caught by another slinky who was shining, so I helped her for a couple hours. When another slinky came and took her place I left too and did some homework. Then C4C had their first weekly meeting! I thought I was excited for the frosh I had met so far, but it was super exciting getting to meet frosh who already are ready to do ministry and join C4C in helping other students discover Jesus. Summit is at the end of the month and I really want to go! Lastly was the Closing Ceremony. There was a Shine Auction. Things were stolen from Vice-Heads and sold back to them for Shinearama donations. lol. A bunch of awards, three bands and a lot of stuff. Tympanic was really good. A latin feel, good vocals and good playing, a SAXOPHONE! They were really good. And that was it.

I got NY and AM's cell numbers. I still need to get S(?), M(?), T(?), S(?) and R(?)'s cell numbers. I have a very irrational idea that if I don't get some contact info from the frosh I met, that I will never see them again. I know they are in Prescott, but I can't just walk in. Also I feel that my schedule is hard to work with. It seems I have 8 labs every two weeks instead of the 3 from last year. >.> It's gonna be an experience, but God will be doing so much this year! I can't wait!

This was my first frosh week and it was so good. I can't wait to do it again! (if I can) I'm pretty stoked at how much God has changed me since this summer started. But now it's fall and it's time to keep changing. lol.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

I was offered a Gatorade, so I guess it's okay.

When you are a mover, as I learned from Seinfeld, you are supposed to be offered a drink. One guy actually did offer us some of his gatorades.

Anyways, today I had a whole day, whole body workout. This was accomplished by day 1 of students moving into residence at Carleton. Frosh Facils apparently bond and cheer and act over the top this weekend in preparation for frosh week. Well, actually, the majority of people in res are frosh, so this is technically frosh week now. >.>

So. The way this worked was I woke up early, walked to school, waited at the meeting place, and then the day began. We would all eagerly await the cars that would pull up. Then we'd chant 'Pop That Trunk!' with claps on the words. Cheer enthusiastically as it popped open. Ask where it was going, then take an armful of stuff. Drag it up the stairs, or wait for the elevator (in which case we'd practice being sardines. literally sealed and packaged with oil) and get to their door. We'd then have a drum roll as they reach for their keys and go to swipe. As it opens, more enthusiastic cheering. Welcoming and kind words as we unload and leave. Run down the stairs. Redo.

At the start of the day I was not happy about being there. I was not happy about not knowing anyone on my team.

Hauling massive amounts of clothes, water bottles and various other stuff all over the res was a lot of fun. I went to Prescott, Renfrew, Lanark, Frontenac and Leeds! When I went to Leeds (which is on the other side of the campus basically) it was to help an international student from India who had just got to school from the airport after a 36 hour flight! I'm really glad that Carleton has an ISC to help International Students.

Umm. Ya. By the end of the day I was so pumped to be out there and just meet these first year students! I'm really glad I have signed up for the Language Exchange Program and the Orientation Mentorship Program! I'm really excited to get out there and start mentoring and maybe even discipling first year guys!

I also got to see three of my friends and help them move in. DK, SC and CC.

Anyways, I need to sleep again. I also need to buy books eventually... >.> When? Who knows. >.>

Ttyl.

D.Fa

PS. I think it's pretty awesome that I didn't burn out today. 9 hours of hard labour and having a smile on my face the whole time. I didn't have breakfast either. lol. Thank God for getting me through it!

PPS. My mom is going home tomorrow. Pray for her. She's going to be very weak. She's been in a bed for nearly two weeks. Very thankfully, however, she is going home and the whole problem with [prescription/over the counter] drugs and stuff is worked out and she should be way better off than she was before.

Day 1, Kinda.

So, today, this morning, I finished moving all my stuff to my new house. Well, most of it was there already and it has not been a work in progress, I just needed to move the stuff I have been using lately and commit to the move. In any case I moved the stuff.

Also, I wasn't really there today. lol. Frosh orientation from 9:15 to 5pm. Then I bussed home (lol) and started organizing my room as I ate free cookies. lol. Then we had three RISK matches. I won the first one. I caused the second victory. I was erased from the match despite my loyal alliance to DZ and so he won. That took most of the night. Well, ya, pretty much all of it except the brief instant noodle dinner.

I signed up to be a frosh mentor. That means meeting with at least three first years at least three times this semester. I don't want to be minimalist on this task though. I want to actually help them. The thing is that I don't actually know anything about University. lol. I know how to get around it, but I don't know basically anything about University life... >.> Gotta study up on that too... lol.

Ttyl. I gotta sleep so I can go to school early on a Saturday morning and help the new kids move in. >.> (I may have to do this on Sunday too..?)

D.Fa

Exerpt

So, yesterday I was feeling kinda funny. I was also having a gmail chat conversation. The following are lines that I typed that have been removed from context and not changed in anyway.

me: I'm all packed!
me: moving
me: probably wednesday. >.>
me: I feel like I've packed my room into a box and won't be opening it for 4 months. xP Like 'my life' has been put on hold.
me: lol............... It's weird.... I even rearranged my room so I could get at all the dust and now it's not my room anymore. Especially because its just a plain, empty white cube with a white bed.
not to mention the echo.
me: ... the echo only formed because I packed up my room. Same with the bareness of the walls after taking down my shelves and pictures and posters and calendar and stuff.
me: lol..... but your walls are gross. lol... I like the walls in everyone else's rooms. xP

I feel the need to add a couple of the person to whom I was 'speaking' with's lines. At this point he told me to "Get Out." and that "Fake hardwood paneling is the best wall option in the world."

me: false

We then went on about how "I'm not going to get out just because I, currently, don't appreciate fake hardwood paneling." and how "If you don't like it, get out. Because I love it."

me: Right now the kitchen is really bugging me. The cobweb above the table and the dead flies on the light. I must clean them... xP
me: I can understand why some short people may not notice them, but you're tall... lol

To which he replied "ya, but I don't really look up that much."

me: lol

I thought that convo was longer. Meh. In any case I hope you found it mildly amusing and informative as to how I am currently feeling about packing and moving and the whole thing.

Also, yesterday I watched 10 episodes of an anime named "Majou Shoujo Madoka Magica" because a friend recommended it. It is not a normal "mahou shoujo" (magic girls) anime (like sailor moon or mew mew power..?). It is a lot darker. The last two episodes have been delayed due to the earthquakes / tsunami in Japan. But they will be airing April 21st. Now that I've seen it, neither I nor my friend can wait for it. I'm actually praying for it. Praying for anime? Weird? kinda. But what I'm praying for is that the gospel would be either in the last two episodes, or that something very easy to start a spiritual conversation off of would be in the episodes. There's already been some stuff like trading your soul for one wish and self-sacrifice. I can see (in my head) how if the main 'evil magic girl' sacrifices herself for her friends it would be extremely easy to relate to the gospel. I don't want to spoil anything... so... unless you watch it I won't be able to talk to you about it. It's a really good show though. Most 12 episode anime are. (not that 1000 episode anime can't be good.) I digress. I am also praying for my friend. He's taking a whole 5 course summer semester. So, ya.

Also, I've felt again that a day spent on yourself for no other purpose is completely a waste of time. I mean, I studied like a couple hours that day, but mainly sin was taking up most of my time. That is too vague. After I studied, I watched anime for 5 hours before my exam and did absolutely nothing productive. I should be spending my 'extra time' growing closer to God as time is running out before EAP, not wasting whole days at a time... I have like 2 weeks left...

Ya.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

Thunder Storms and Pasta

So, yesterday.

Yesterday started off with me waking up at 5 am. Guess why? Thunderstorm! Yay! But the coolest thing was that the power was out and that the storm was practically directly above us (which I later realized isn't as cool as I thought, or maybe it is..?)!!!! So, it was just like nonstop flashes of light outside my window! You couldn't see the lightning, just the light, rain was pouring, all my housemates were awake (RL was at his parents) and JR ran outside... lol... After about half an hour the lights turned back on and I realized how silent and dark it was a moment earlier. I mean, now there were all these little things buzzing and a bunch of small flashing lights and ya... I went back to sleep, but kept my phone on to wake me up. I later read a facebook status "Somebody must have been playing Song of Storms over and over last night..." lol.

I woke up at like 9:30 and just lay in bed until 10. I just didn't want to do any work. I still don't, but yesterday was my last day before my week of exams started, so I should have started the cramming.

At 10 I talked with my EAP support coach. He doesn't like how I don't really answer questions.

I then had breakfast/lunch and watched anime.

I then wasted like an hour and a half drawing a diagram to represent my support raising for project. I drew block letters of EAP on graph paper with each block being 50$ I need to raise. It took me a long time to figure out how big to draw the letters and then to colour it in with the support I have so far, colour coded to each person, and then I accidentally did it wrong and I admit it was a huge waste of time.

I knew I should have been cramming for my CHEM exam today, but no... I kept wasting time.

I studied for a couple hours while playing songs by Two Door Cinema Club over and over and over again and then I ran off to my new house to have a meal with my new housemates. I saw CL and MC on the bus.

There was a lot of raised voices at my new house, mostly caused by me and the whole 'splitting a room in half' business and how that effects the rent. It seems that DK, CW and JS 'debate' quite a bit. In any case, CW prepared a pasta meal for us and we all had some with light dinner conversation. Following that we had a 'house meeting' to address issues with common areas and chores and just things in general. The last topic raised was really awkward. It was DK bringing up the fact that we don't tell each other that we love each other as much as we should. He argued that as Christians we should be more loving because we know a bit more about real love through Jesus among other reasons. The most awkward point (debatably) was when he said he could easily write more about what makes each of us special then he can for a school paper.

They tried wrapping up the meeting quickly so that I could go home and study, but the things I saw were that a) they do love each other, b) they pray with each other, c) they don't hold back anything from being discussed. These are all things I wish I saw more of at my house. I have yet to see a couple of my housemates pray.

Ya, when I got home I watched a couple episodes of Modern Family with everyone. It's a good show that always has a moral, warm and fuzzy ending.

Ya. So I wasted all of yesterday. Then this morning I woke up at 6:50 and did everything quickly so that I could go and then I decide to clean out my closet. >.> Ya. Wasted a half hour making a pile of clothes I don't want to / havn't been wearing that I can get rid of because I really have only been wearing like 8 shirts and there were like 25-30 in my closet. The first step in moving is to get rid of everything that is useless to you.

Ya. CHEM exam asian fail. Probably.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

PS. I started moving yesterday. Even though I only moved one thing and I never use them. lol.

Mobile Parties are Cool

Hey! So. I need to learn how to be concise.

1. I hate shots.
2. It is not easy to get travel immunizations.
3. My imunization record is pretty sketch.
4. I need to learn to play footsy better..?
5. I don't tell you I love you as much as I should.
6. I don't love You as much as I should.
7. I need to cut down on words like kinda, maybe, sometimes, or other stupid modifiers.
8. I would like to be able to be in more than one place at once.
9. Microsoft Office hates me.
10. I understand LRC curcuits much better now.
11. Skipping math is always an idea that is not bad.
12. I learned some kanji today! or at least what they look like...
13. Breakfast at 8pm is odd.
14. I need to get a proper meal routine.
15. I'm leaving this house at the end of April..?
16. Someone keeps eating my food. This week a banana and half a litre of punch have disappeared. Also, RL ate the leftover spagetti I was planning to eat today and the leftover spagetti sauce I was planning to eat tomorrow... >.>
17. Jesus is the perfect spotless lamb that acts as the permanent sin offering for our sins.
18. I'm ahead of the game even if I think I only have 3 days left to do stuff..?
19. When did our lives become so complicated?
20. Snow + Rain = a very terrible combination. Sidewalks are the lowest place, ,', that is where the rain goes, ,', there is no where to walk.

Ya, Ttyl.

D.Fa

Dead Tired Part 2

... tired and hungry and I was also sick........... I also was going to have class until 9.... Uhgggg.....

I am going to be dead by the end of the day........ I'm so tired that when I went to Haven bookstore for my algebra text I was so stressed to get back for class. When I got to class the prof was already teaching some thermodynamic junk. It was a bit odd, but I could believe this was my class. It got more questionable with all these weird unexplained complicated examples that everyone (none of who I recognized) understood, but it was so basic.... So maybe..?

No. It was some second year engineering math class... I learned nothing and sat there for half an hour.... XP

Ya... Lame... Whatever. XP... Then I almost fell asleep in class a few times... Our new physics prof is way more legit, but soooo boring. XP

I'm now in Oasis because I saw CW before going all the way to Loeb Cafe. XP......

Whatever. XP I had pb&j. I'll be fine for now and spaghetti later. XP

Ttyl.

D.Fa

PS. Mongolia! w00t!

Dead Tired Part 1

Ok.... So...

Crazy things happen sometimes when scheduling is tight.... You see, I had yet to move back to the boy house and I had class 11:30-9 today and my dad goes to sleep around 8ish. I needed to move home eventually.

There was only one solution: I had to move in the morning.

So... I woke up at 5:30 and packed the car. My mom drove me to my house and I unloaded everything quickly because my brother had band at 7 and gets a drive from my dad when he goes to work. By 6:25 I had everything back in the boy house as well as all the stuff I got for Christmas. I had just put everything in the pingpong room so that I wouldn't have to go upstairs in my shoes or take them off / put them on repeatedly.

At 6:30 I began putting things in their places and making them usable to me instead of in boxes and bags or in a pile. This involved cleaning my cupboard, cleaning the kitchen, organizing video games and movies, starting the laundry, updating my food expenses, etc. I was getting really ...

Intentional Living

So, ya...

I really gotta do my sunday school homework then sleep..... like 8 hours until we leave for church. So, ya...

Today was amazing. After work (which is quite different now that produce's renovations have finished) I had to fill in for RL for A/V during worship practice. So, I got home, threw some food in a bag and ran out the door again.

Ok, this is serious. I was thinking "where is worship practice..?" "The church." "Where is the church..?" "Westboro United, right..?" "I havn't been there in a long time. I can't even remember what it looks like" "Didn't we move yet..?" Ok... I seriously didn't think we were there anymore. This week has been so long / jam packed with stuff that I havn't been to church in a long time.

Once I got to church I had my "lunch"* and tried to get my brother to go to church tonight. There was going to be this super amazing YA / YF worship night and I got to be on the worship team for it. So, after I did A/V for the actual worship team practice I did a worship practice for tonight's worship and then did tonight's worship. I was soooo hyper after the practice. I really enjoy being on worship team.

Anyways, tonight was amazing. This guy talked about this thing he's doing. He moved so that he could live in this kinda sketchy neighbourhood. He's been there 2 years. His goal is to live a missional life. A life that is witness of how Jesus and God have been working in his life. He told us a story, he tied in some scripture, and he was a Carleton grad. xP

So, ya. You shouldn't be separating parts of your life. Your whole life should be an example.

ttyl. gotta do my sunday school homework... xP

Epik High! Love Love Love!



D.Fa

* food in a lunch bag is a lunch no matter what the food may be. correct?

Salad with Free Raisins.

Hey.

So, today I had church and work.

Baptism in a week!

So, today after service was a special lunch for JK and KK, but I had to go to work for 2 and couldn't stay long. JJ was pressuring me into eating lunch. She saw me kinda waiting outside the Sr. Parlour and was like "come in, eat something." She insisted. I said I had to leave soon, so she said I could just eat in the kitchen like some of the people who helped cook the meal were doing. I said I had to go to work. She said she couldn't let me go to work without eating something. I kept saying I was fine, but I ended up in the kitchen. AW was in the kitchen. She got me a plate and a fork and was suggesting which food I should eat. I told her I had to leave... like immediately. laugh. I then exited the building quickly, as to avoid being caught by JJ.

I had packed a nice lunch anyways.

I don't like how work does this to my Sundays...

RL finally moved in. His dad and little sister were 'helping' him set up his chair and printer and stuff. I like his family. pseudo-CL too. xP

Ttyl.

D.Fa

Blogging Before Bed

Yay! Alliteration! =D

>.> lame... I hate english...

Anyways, hey! Today was Saturday September 3rd. September... Ewww school in like half a week...

I had work, then worship practice, then tennis.

I moved out on Monday, right..? Then why have I been home three days in a row..? For free dinner..? No. For free meat..? No. Why..? Because my brother wants me to play tennis with him and my mom worries too much... >.>

So, ya. Worship practice today was amazing... xP Sometimes worship team is sooooo cool, but sometimes it is kinda annoying. Its usually really cool though. Playing bass and singing harmonies is a lot of fun.

This song is sooo cool. "Power Of Your Love" by Hillsong.



I like how we play it more then that version though. More bass and guitar. xP

Ttyl.

D.Fa

Did I Move..?

So, hey.

Today was ... idk...

I woke up, packed a bit, went to work, got home, ate supper, moved my stuff a couple blocks, RL moved a few things, we went shopping for stuff, RL went 'home', I started unpacking, I had a meal and watched anime.

You know what's really weird..?

I moved, and yet, it's as if I didn't move... I'm still in the bubble I've been in for the last four years, well, almost. I'm on the very edge of the bubble. So it's somewhat new, but if I walk a minute that way I'll be in the bubble...

It's so hot. xP

So, on the way here, while we were moving, xP , a folder of sheet music kinda flew out the back of the truck.... So me and CW picked it all up... a number of sheets have nice tire marks. I havn't touched that music in like 3 years and was about to return it next week. xP

Sooooo tired...

Guess what my very first meal at my new house was!

KD and hotdog. xP With Milk!!!

I'm gonna sleep.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

Life's Work

I had practically every inch of my wall covered and now they are bare except for the pieces of tape or staples or nails that are still there and some chipped paint or holes or other things that were covered before... XP

So, ya...

I am moving on Monday, but will be busy all the time until I move, so I'm packing now. I'm nearly done and my room is so empty... there's even an echo... >.>

I'm leaving so many memories and so much useless stuff.. xP I'm bringing a lot of useless stuff too... xP I found some Beyblades the other day. I'm bringing them... xP

All that aside, I don't really know what to feel... I feel like I'm not even feeling this. Like its out of my control so I just have to go along with it. ... >.>

So, like, RL wants us to like share food. Like, cook and eat the same meals to lower costs and make it easier because neither of us really cook or anything... xP and my schedule probably wont line up nicely with his... but ya... we'll see where this goes.. xP

I've been addicted to this facebook game for the past couple days.. XP

D.Fa