Part 8. We're half way through. Yesterday I wrote out the passages from the letter for the rest of these posts. So I know where things are going and I've actually read the whole letter now (for the first time since receiving it 2 months ago). I think I will also have a final full general reflection post after all 15. Anyways, SH visited me at work today. :) He's kinda the best and now he's sending me helpful links and stuff to help me think this stuff through. He's kinda the best. :P Anywayssssss.
"8. God orchestrates suffering for our good: The epistle to the Hebrews reminds us that God uses persecution and other hardships to lovingly discipline us as a father disciplines his own children in love: "For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good, so that we may share His holiness. All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness" (Hebrews 12:10-11). Similarly, Paul assured the Romans that their hardship and suffering are orchestrated by God to contribute to and ensure their perseverance and ultimate glorification. "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren" (Romans 8:28-29). In this case, "for good" is defined as becoming conformed to the image of His Son -- or glorification. Sometimes when the suffering and hardships seem so great, it requires some faith to perceive God's goodness in them, but it is certainly there."
God can use suffering for good. Absolutely. Having just finished listening to Genesis, the story of Joseph being sold into slavery for the purpose of preserving the Israelites comes to mind. "What you meant for evil, God intended for good." Or how somewhere in the Old Testament it's mentioned how God uses wicked nations as a weapon against other wicked nations or something. But I digress. God can and does use suffering to further His plans and to help train and build His peoples.
I just feel like this is a bit different.
This is coming up on nearly 17 years of suffering -- to varying degrees-- of existential crisis, self-hate, denial, various coping mechanisms, and a load of other things that did not help. Do I understand the value of purity? yes. Do I understand God's holiness being so much more than anything we can attain? yes. Do I have a good way of facing temptation and not taking it out on myself when I invariably end up failing? No. The best I could do was to stop caring about trying and just ask for forgiveness a bunch. And again, I don't want to try and rework grace and turn it into license. But there's got to be a different solution here.
Semi-related: conformed to the image of Christ, doesn't mean we all end up identical. God has given us each different gifts and talents and aptitudes and inclinations. God has made us all different to glorify different aspects of Himself reflected in us. Conforming to Christ's image will still look different from person to person, but the fruit of their words and actions will result to praise and love of God. Is there a world where there's room for same-sex attracted individuals to love and care for others to the praise and glory of God? I would like to hope so.
D.Fa
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