Thinking It Through: Extra-marital Sex is Sinful (Part 3 of 15)

Hey,

I'm physically exhausted today, so let's go.

"3. All sexual intimacy outside marriage is clearly sinful: There is no real debate about what the Bible teaches if one is committed to Jesus's teachings: 

     First, Jesus affirms the Law of Moses: "Do not think that I came to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I did not come to abolish but to fulfill. For truly I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not the smallest letter or stroke shall pass from the Law until all is accomplished" (Matt. 5:17-18).

     Second, Jesus defines, marriage from the Law exclusively as God mysteriously joining into one flesh both a man and a woman for life: "Have you not read that He we created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate" (Matt. 19:4-6).

     Third, Jesus defines fornication (all sexual intimacy outside of this divine institution of marriage) as sin and defiling: "Do you not understand that everything that goes into the mouth passes into the stomach, and is eliminated? But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornifications, thefts, false witness, slanders. These are the things which defile the man; but to eat with unwashed hands does not defile the man" (Matt. 15:17-20).

     So, since Jesus speaks about fornification in this way, Jesus also speaks clearly on the issue of homosexuality: he describes it as a sin that the Law condemns.

     Sexual intimacy outside marriage is one of many kinds of lawless deeds that Jesus gave himself over for on the cross (Titus 2:11-14). It is something we all need to constantly repent of as we look forward to Jesus' return. Jesus did not die so that we can freely sin. The gospel says: 'Jesus died and rose, so turn from your sin today and use your freedom in Christ to live in increasing obedience.'"

Ok. That was longer than the last two.

I am inclined to agree with the majority of this. It is fairly clearly laid out that the natural way, the way things were designed to be, the way God designed things to be is for a man and woman to realize the full depths of intimacy in a fully committed marriage relationship, including sex. Anything outside that definition will be less than, will be incomplete, will be in disobedience to the natural order. As Paul in Romans 1:27 puts it "the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men" as part of people turning from God and worshipping created things instead. There's a number of fairly recent arguments given for the biological value of same-sex partnerships, but I don't think I'll ever 100% agree that it is a natural process. The basis of evolutionary biology is having your genes be passed on and survive. More children, the higher the chances of survival. No children, than no survival.

What does it look like to live a life on increasing obedience? This area, although it maybe looked different from time to time, never felt like an area of increasing victory, but just cycles of failure, confession, and struggle. Some resources would speak of how these desires were good and point us towards finding our wives, but didn't address people who were same sex attracted. What then? Paul writes in 1 Cor 7:8-9 "To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion." The way it's written makes it sound like marriage is just an acceptable form of diverting sinful desire into something satisfactory. But what then for same sex attracted people? Is marriage ok? Is it satisfactory in the case that one burns with passion and is unable to maintain self-control?

Jesus did not die so that we can freely sin. 

There were a few years where I struggled so hard against sin and temptation. I would write the kanji for blood on my palm "血" because "In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood." (Hebrews 12:4). Had I struggled so deeply against sin that I had bled in longsuffering pursuit of holiness? No. So I would remind myself of that as I struggled and prayed. Was it helpful? It was kinda guilt trippy. It wasn't a positive reinforcement. Sure, it made me reflect more on how much Jesus had fought against sin and that He did manage to win that battle and secure victory over sin and death on the cross, that He was a high priest we could always turn to because He had been tempted in every way as we are, yet without sin (Hebrews 4:15). I had wondered a number of times, had Jesus experienced temptation of same sex attraction towards His closest friends? Had removing his outer garments so that He could wash their feet been a difficult thing to do knowing that temptation was crouching at the door? Regardless, Jesus went to the cross and died in my place without having sinned at all. Now, with the Holy Spirit, I should be able to rely in His power to overcome temptation, ya? So, why did I keep failing? Why did I keep having to keep coming back tearfully asking for forgiveness? Why isn't there an easier way? And I don't want to just end my life, cause that would cause too much pain for others around me. It's not a fair option.

So what then? Slowly suffer cycles of celibate sin? *sigh*

I'll ttyl.

D.Fa