Lord, to give up I'd be a fool.

So, ya.

As always I am stuck in this place where I keep making the wrong choices. I know that God is the One who ultimately satisfies, but I am still choosing other things and finding no satisfaction.

I just want to be past that. I want to be in a place where I choose God over all else. But does that happen?

This is the thing that I am dealing with right now.

I know that there are older Christians that still struggle with the same things that I do.

I know that we do not become perfect until this life is done.

But Jesus Himself says we can be freed from these things.

"To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” They answered him, “We are Abraham’s descendants and have never been slaves of anyone. How can you say that we shall be set free?” Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." (John 8:31-36)

You will be free indeed!

But do I believe that?

*sigh*

I want to. But I've seen so many times in my life taht I can't change it.

But that's the thing. I can't. But with God anything is possible. "Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.""(Mark 10:27)

Sometimes I get really bummed out because I see myself choosing things other than God and thinking how much I want them.

Tonight was prayer meeting.

I was praying 'Dad how can I even come before you...' and then Pastor DB started talking about how some of us may not feel like we are worthy to come before God, maybe that's why some people weren't there, but truly truly, Jesus has paid for it all. In Him we are made righteous again. God really spoke to me through that prayer meeting. Really encouraging me and giving me my hope back. Haha.

This song we sang also really caught what I'm going through. "You are My All in All"

So, ya, I'm going to take another few steps of faith and trust in God. I'm praying for a stronger relationship with God and being able to just rely on Him for everything.

D.Fa

PS.. "You Are My All In All"

"You are my strength when I am weak
You are the treasure that I seek
You are my all in all
Seeking You as a precious jewel
Lord, to give up I'd be a fool
You are my all in all

Jesus, Lamb of God
Worthy is Your name
Jesus, Lamb of God
Worthy is Your name

Taking my sin, my cross, my shame
Rising again I bless Your name
You are my all in all
When I fall down You pick me up
When I am dry You fill my cup
You are my all in all

Jesus, Lamb of God
Worthy is Your name
Jesus, Lamb of God
Worthy is Your name"