The other day, in St. Louis at the Urbana conference, David Platt shared Matt 26:1-16 with us (session here). And he challenged us to truly give our whole hearts to God. Here is the passage from the ESV:
"When Jesus had finished all these sayings, he said to his disciples, “You know that after two days the Passover is coming, and the Son of Man will be delivered up to be crucified.”Jesus said "I'm going to die." The elders plotted to kill Him. A woman poured very expensive perfume (or ointment in this translation) on Jesus and there was a disagreement of how that money could have been used. Judas planed to betray Jesus. Matthew 26:1-16 A fairly simple passage with deep implications for our relationship with Christ and how we act in the world. In this passage the one simple question the speaker presented was this: Does your heart belong to Jesus? My goal in this post is to help you understand the passage as it had been discussed at Urbana and to explain a bit of how I was responding to it.
Then the chief priests and the elders of the people gathered in the palace of the high priest, whose name was Caiaphas, and plotted together in order to arrest Jesus by stealth and kill him. But they said, “Not during the feast, lest there be an uproar among the people.”
Now when Jesus was at Bethany in the house of Simon the leper, a woman came up to him with an alabaster flask of very expensive ointment, and she poured it on his head as he reclined at table. And when the disciples saw it, they were indignant, saying, “Why this waste? For this could have been sold for a large sum and given to the poor.” But Jesus, aware of this, said to them, “Why do you trouble the woman? For she has done a beautiful thing to me. For you always have the poor with you, but you will not always have me. In pouring this ointment on my body, she has done it to prepare me for burial. Truly, I say to you, wherever this gospel is proclaimed in the whole world, what she has done will also be told in memory of her.”
Then one of the twelve, whose name was Judas Iscariot, went to the chief priests and said, “What will you give me if I deliver him over to you?” And they paid him thirty pieces of silver. And from that moment he sought an opportunity to betray him."
In between two scenes of plotting to kill Jesus is this story focused on an unnamed woman and a bottle of very expensive perfume. A bottle that would have been worth a year's wages, that's 50-100k if it were today. I don't even think there's a good analogy. It'd be like giving someone a new Ferrari that could only be driven once. That's how expensive this bottle was. If that had happened today, what could seem like a waste of 100,000$, what would we say? What would we have wanted to use the money for? I'm sure we could all think of something for ourselves or for others or for those truly in need or charities or even needs in our church. We too would be standing there judging this action. All the disciples seem convinced that the cause they'd support was a good cause. And so they say so in front of her. Yet instead of agreeing with them, Jesus says that what she had done is a beautiful thing.What does Jesus mean and what does this mean to us?
The disciples, the chief priests and the elders, every one of us are "prone to passionately defend a cause while personally disregarding Christ". Even the causes we think are worth pursuing. Things of value and noble character, be it fighting for justice for refugees or sex trafficking victims, participating in outreach or missions, or any other cause; we are prone to do so while ignoring Jesus. But this woman was not going to and there were two main things that she realized that made her action different. Two things that we all need to realize; the significance of Jesus' death, and the purpose of our lives.
First, Jesus' death was of utmost significance. something that He had spoken about multiple times and which the disciples did not understand until well after. Jesus was not some mere man and he was not going to die some mere death. In verse 2 again he said "the Son of Man will be delivered up to be crucified." This is what the scriptures pointed to. This is why He came to earth as a babe in a manger. Death was not the end, but a beginning. By living a life in complete obedience to God, every word, every action to the point of death on a cross. He alone, God the Son, would be able to take our place and buy us back from the death we rightly deserve. This was His mission to seek and save the lost. Those living lives of disobedience which had separated them from God. From the very beginning, God spoke and the world was made. He commanded the mountains and seas where to go and they went. Jesus in the boat commanded the winds and rains and they calmed. But then it gets to men and women and we have "the audacity to say no". As such we are guilty and deserve judgment. Eternal heaven or eternal hell and without Him we are all going to eternal punishment. Yet in His perfect love and justice God did something unthinkable, and as John 3:16 says "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life." Jesus would die in our place. He would rise victorious over sin and death. He would return in His glory to the Father. The woman knew the significance of Jesus' death.
Secondly, she knew her life purpose and was willing to pay whatever cost. Her purpose and our purpose as David Platt put it was "to pour out our hearts in sacrificial, selfless, satisfying devotion to Christ." She was willing to pay every cost. She walked through the entire crowd up to Jesus. She poured out the extremely costly perfume. Why does she do it? Because she believes Jesus is worth it and that He is her reward. Similarly in Matthew 13, why does the unnamed man in the parable Jesus tells sell everything he had to joyously buy a field? Because the Kingdom of Heaven is like a treasure more costly than all we could ever have or do. God's steadfast love is better than anything life can offer. He is worthy of giving our all too, our lives and our hearts. The woman recognized her purpose. Does your heart belong to Jesus?
Finally, an illustration of what this looks like in our lives, David Platt then spoke of John Wesley. The John Wesley of the Wesleyan church. He graduated with honours from Oxford, was ordained as minister, had rich theology from the word, an active faith in the world going to slums and prisons, daily Bible study, worship services all week, prayer and fasting, giving. He even moved to America to serve the First Nations peoples as a missionary. He did everything and upon return to Britain penned these words "I who went to America to convert others was never myself converted." He had done everything and yet his heart did not belong to Jesus.
We cannot manufacture a heart for missions while missing a heart for Christ. Missions, all service and causes for justice in the world are an overflow of life and love in Christ. Missions was never intended to be your life. Christ is intended to be your life.
This is the beautiful life, one in love with Jesus. Although it looked like a waste she was willing to pay the price that she could truly know Jesus. That is the life that counts. It's not about how involved you are in church or ministries at school or work, not how many bible studies you attend or lead, not about how many missions you've been on, not if you've ever said a prayer once, but does your heart belong to Jesus? That alone is the important question.
And that was the question for me. Over the conference, and the weeks and months leading up to it, I was confronted again and again with the reality of my disobedience to God and my reliance on myself. Did my heart fully belong to God? A little over 5 years ago I was baptized. I had made my choice to follow after Jesus, but I had not given my entire heart to God. I had studied the Bible. I had prayed prayers. I had shared the gospel. I had been on missions multiple times. But I had kept a part of my heart mine and again and again I was confronted with how regularly I would choose to follow my own apparent desires instead of listening to God's word, instead of trusting in His good plans and His purposes.
I wouldn't say I was living a double life, but the part of my heart that was mine continued to grow as the part of my heart that was God's shrank. In the last year numerous times I had asked myself questions along the lines of whether I should stop following God altogether so I could stop feeling so hypocritical, so I could freely try to follow the apparent desires of my heart that seemed out of line with the God of the Bible. The words spoken by Patrick Fung, Francis Chan, and David Platt on the authority of God brought that question to the forefront: who am I submitting to? to whom does my heart belong? And God's word is clear, you cannot serve two masters, either you will hate the one and love the other or be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot drink the cup of the lord and the cup of demons, you cannot sit at both tables. I knew I needed to make a choice. I couldn't live divided. But I didn't want to give up either.
Monday afternoon at Urbana I went to listen to a seminar by Christopher Yuan, a Chinese man who had lived an active life of homosexuality and by God's graces came to know Jesus (seminar here). He explained in his own testimony that he could not find a biblical blessing of monogamous gay relationship and was presented with the decision to abandon God and His word or abandon a gay relationship. In his words the choice was clear and obvious. I knew the choice was clear and obvious yet so much of me did not want to give my heart to God. This has been and is a large part of my struggle. When presented again with this decision, as David Platt listed off the various things that we do, service, bible studies, missions, and invited us to stand and make the decision to give our hearts to God. I knew I had to make the decision. I stood up as did hundreds of others.
We went to a room to help us process our decisions. There were balloons. This was a celebration. And yet so much of me felt lament and sorrow over this decision. This decision is to die that Christ may live fully in me. To take up my cross and deny myself. I knew I need to surrender to His authority. He is worthy of all our affection, adoration, longing, and love. I know this is the right decision and am praying that He gives me the ability to follow Him, the faith to trust Him through difficulty, and the strength to fight sin and any temptation to abandon Him. I have seen Him do amazing things all over the world so I echo the words of Wesley "I who went to convert was not myself converted" as well as the words of the father in Mark 9 "I believe, help my unbelief." I need to love Jesus first and let missions flow out of that love. My heart had not fully belonged to Jesus. Does your heart belong to Jesus?
May we seek after Him with all our hearts, may we taste and see that He is good, may we pursue the Kingdom knowing the treasure is worth more than we could ever hope or imagine, may we trust in the statement of the Psalmist in Psalm 63:3 that His steadfast love is better than life and respond in praise and glorifying Him, may He be our all in all and our greatest desire be for Him and for others to know Him.
D.Fa
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