Hiding the Truth

Hey,

I've just been thinking now about a number of things that I'm kinda upset about, and the annoying thing is that they all seem to have happened somewhat because I was hiding what I really felt for various reasons.

One thing is that I'm probably not going to have the job that I thought I was going to this summer because of a miscommunication about my summer plans that could have been avoided, had I not been hiding that my plans had fallen through, thinking that it would be super awkward to explain after having been so excited and sure about them.

Another is that I'm pretty upset that I won't get to live with some guys next year because I wanted to be a good guy and let my other friend have the first chance. I really really really wanted to live there and now I'll have to wait until my other friend graduates. I don't know what I think. It's complicated. And now I'm trying desperately to live in the same area so that I can just hang out all the time. idk.

Another being that with graduation and stuff I have a number of friends leaving, and I'm really going to miss them, but I haven't said anything like that because it would sound weird, wouldn't it? I feel like he's one of my best friends now, but i don't know how to say that properly... But instead now I'm feeling like I'll regret it if I don't say anything.

Why do I need to hide the truth? What even is the truth? Is what I am feeling the truth? What would happen if I always just said what I was thinking? Would that be helpful or harmful?

I don't know what to do, and when I don't know what to do I usually do nothing and later regret doing nothing.

Also, while cleaning today I found my grade 7 binder. Very interesting read. Back then I was also hiding things. I also apparently was kinda arrogant. It was insightful though.

Ttyl.

D.Fa