Sitting stagnant in darkness,
Let's pretend that all is well.
Forget again what lies behind,
Except for that smell.
That haunting, clinging remnant,
Of a past lingering so close.
To run, to hide, and dream,
But for that memory of guilt.
How can I continue,
how could I stop?
To seek out the light,
and yet fall again.
What can I do,
how can I recollect,
those days spent well,
before this insurmountable descent?
Can I ride 'til there is nothing but wind; try to escape it all?
Can I try harder and succeed; to do anything of worth?
Could I rely upon your strength; find humility in earnest?
Could I trust and walk forward; be caught when I stumble?
Thoughts of despair;
Lies which scream for attention.
Felt tension in the air:
Thick, restraining forward motion.
But there is light, there is truth,
and what-else these were but lies.
May such curses be forgotten,
could you open my inner eyes?
O that my soul would see,
the beauty, majesty, supreme splendor of your grace.
And everything within me turn;
with whole heart to seek your face.
Can I do anything?
The answer seems to condemn.
But by your strength, and all good hope,
a faith with which to stride;
may these steps be established,
your spirit always be my guide.
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