Seriously He's got All the Authority

Hey guys. Day number four. It started really early. Lol. TY, AT and that other guy (sorry). Lol. We went for breakfast in Time Square at a Hong Kong Cafe at 7:30. Those guys are really cool. I wonder what my life would have been like if I had gone to UoT. But I'm sure God has a plan. I don't think I would have started stepping up this year if I was there. I was really super tired. I was kinda dozing off during main session. Seminars were good. I went to "Disciplemaking 101", "Men on Mission" and "Secrets of Effective Prayer". All pretty good. XP Next was quiet time. I finished reading the Old, Testament and had a long conversation with Y(?). No, actually seminars were after quiet time. Lol After seminars we had time with our campus. We discussed what we have beeb learning from God, played a fun game then went for Korean BBQ. We came back to the hotel for main session. Sooo funny. Lol. So good though. All about Moses' life. Also about his excuses to being used by God. Me and the other members of our EA team went for bubbletea. I'm really tired now. Lol. Oh, by the way, we had a couple prayer goals for our week here for WC. First praying for every country in the world and also for every one of the unreached people groups (nearly 7000!)! So thats pretty awesome. XP So, ya. Ttyl. D.Fa

Do not rely on your Feelings

Today has been up and down. It was the day of outreach. We went to a HongKong style cafe for lunch. Then came back for outreach. Internet was super slow as usual, so I was texting again. Not much happened. I got to start sharing with MJ, but she is atheistic, so that didn't get very far. AL got to share with BC again, which is great. And a lot of awesome things happened today, but I got this feeling of depression or uselessness. God really used the conversation I was having with RD aswell as the worship to change my attitude. "Oh, I'm running to your arms!" But I went down again after being challenged, knowing by myself I would fail. I was wandering and moping about. Rockband. Then I got to pray with DN. I am truly blessed by OCBC. Pray for Missisauga Vietnamese Alliance Church!!!! Ttyl D.Fa

Here we go again

So, I guess you can probably guess what this post is about if you read the last post. The second day of winter conference 2011! It was another great day of exciting main sessions, worship and fellowship with my brothers and sisters in Christ. (get out my 'dangler' to see what happened (a 'dangler' is our name tag / schedule booklet thingee)) But more than that we also had awesome seminars and a EAP reunion dinner and informational meetings for projects then more fun and games. Lol So, first we had a great session. The speaker was talking about Luke 4:1-13. So much stuff from the old testament led to the real meanings behind this short passage. He basically mentioned half of the Old Testament. So cool! Quiet time I ended up talking, to the guy who I am sharing a bed with, about a lot of stuff that he sees as being odd in Canada or the Catholic church, him being a Slovak. Then we had Chinese pork and rice in DP's room. (he had a rice cooker, lol) Then seminars..! We had four hour long seminars today, a selection of many practical topics to.choose from for each. I went to "when I don't feel like sharing", "que(e)rying faith", "coaching great stories" and "discerning God's will". They were all very good in different ways. Lol. Project reunion dinner was at this funny Chinese place 'Chili Secret'. MN is so funny and hilarious. Lol. It was great having a meal together with them. Session was tres bien et en Francais for a lot of it. The speaker was talking about 2 Tim 2:14-26 about living in a culture that is hostile to Christ. Sooooooo gooood. Then project info sessions. I kinda wanted to check out the Montreal project, but went to EA first and then God led me to the Short Film training thing. By that I mean my Moleskine dropped out of my pocket and the guy in charge of the Film session picked it up and text me. So, I went to get iy. As I was going MB was like trying to get me into her session, but then was very much encouraging me to go to the Film one since she gad seen some of the Raven's Log videos. Lol. Two thoughts came to me. 1. MB has seen those videos..? Lol. The second thought stayed a bit longer. 2. Hmmm maybe this makes sense. Maybe I should check this out. Also the thought of 'what if SC knew Jesus as his personal savior..?' That would be sooo awesome. So, like the Film project is actually a bit different in that its just a week of intense training. No evangelizing, yet. So, that could be cool. Just, it's during reading week, which is when I was planning to have my wisdom teeth looked at... Soooooooo complicated. EA, co-op, Film, wisdom teeth, sooooo complicated... >.< Then we had swing dancing. Good times. Lol Ttyl. D.Fa

The beginning of the ConeFurnace

Yo guys! First day of winter conference is done and it was awesome, lol. I got to see sooooo many of the people I met going to East Asia for the first time since. I went for pho with some UoT friends and got to make new friends too. Main session was really great too. It was about the great commission, as if it were a mission sandwiched between two awesome promises. Go and make disciples of all nations, but know this; all authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me And I am with you always. We sang this one song that was like "your grace is amazing, you are so strong and faithful to the end." We also sang 'mighty to save' in French! So good! Ya. There was some awesome Dodgball, I learned how to play Bang, and we just had a crazy snowball fight/built snowmen! Ahhhhh, so good. XP Ttyl D.Fa PS. I don't have the wifi yet, so this is being written on my smartphone. Ignore any typos.

Christmas Games

Hey guys!

Merry Christmas!

I would have blogged last night, but I was a bit busy working on my presents for my friend SC as well as wrapping the gifts for my family, not that they were huge or anything, but that there were a lot of really small stupid / funny things. lol.

I guess I realized that not working really does limit my ability to buy, so I needed to make or plan something outside the box (lol. you'll figure it out). I actually ended up spending only money that I had found while cleaning my parents' house, which was actually quite a bit. lol

So, the main thing that I did this year that was funny, was that the majority of my gufts for my family were all in the same boxes. lol. The same, like, 3x3x3inch cube. lol And I made it into a tree. lol. (impossible to have a tree made of boxes like that with only one layer for the trunk...)

Ya, so I stayed up until 2am Christmas eve and I didn't even have time to say much more than "Merry Christmas to my East Asian friends. >.>

Ya.

Today was good. Service was a bit long, but there were so many people and it's encouraging. xP. My mom came and NC sat with me. I love him. He's really funny.

It was actually really snowy this morning. A White Christmas! =D Yup!

We opened the presents and everything. It was good. xP. My family is funny. I actually like most of the clothes I got this year, actually pretty much all of it. (I really don't need more crew cut socks though... I have like 3 bundles with my storage stuff at my house and I got another bundle of grey, white and thermal socks... So many. lol) I don't intend on bragging about presents. I don't deserve all of this. I'm actually already thinking of how I can give the things I don't need to those who do.

It was really odd. lol. Usually it's just like a copy of our Christmas lists. This year, not at all. lol. Mainly since they didn't really exist as materialistically as usually. It's a weird frustrating kind of feeling. Normally I'd be hours into a new video game by now, but I only got two and I can't actually play either of them. One was for the 3DS, which I don't have (Oops, I asked for that game. lol) and the other needs Wii Motion Plus. xP

Then the worst part by far was dinner. (I don't mean the dinner. It was delicious. xP) It was me. I'm avoiding the conversation with my parents about this summer. I had the perfect opportunity to speak to them about it and I didn't take it, I started doing anything else I could......... I've already pushed it off until today, and now tomorrow is like my last chance. It's like I'm scared because I know that if they say they'd prefer me to work this summer, I will because I don't want to go against them. I want to honor my parents. But I really want to go to East Asia. I'm practically breaking out crying over this. Is this a restrained tantrum..? I know God can and will use me wherever I end up, but I want to go back to Asia with all my heart. But is that just the easy way out?

Stupid unrest spirit. I feel like it's the worst thing in the world if I end up working this summer... >.> Am I being over dramatic..? I want to yell.

"I want"

I want my plans, my desires, my thoughts and life to reflect those of God. My plans being the ones God has laid out before creation. My desires in line with God's. My thoughts things of heaven. My life one in full submission and voluntarily used to serve the one who came to serve us.

>.<

D.Fa

Sometimes

Sometimes I get too ambitious and end up killing the whole plan because I start making the product look amazing in my head, but not attainable by the limited resources (especially time) at hand.

I have a large imagination sometimes.

Sometimes I want to be pretty much any type of job imaginable. I would love being an architect. I would like being a doctor (if I didn't dislike blood so much). I would love being a dentist. I could be a janitor. I might be able to be a teacher. I would like being a designer, like graphics designer. Umm. Video game designer, craftsmen, electrician, pilot(..?), athlete, musician, singer/songwriter, actor, engineer, pharmacologist, botanist, international missionary.

Sometimes, I realize that even though I complain about things a lot sometimes I love those quirky things even more. I love quirky things. lol.

--

Anyways, today was interesting. Not really. Pretty boring. lol. Actually, no. Interesting. (I am remembering it now. lol) I woke up early and went to MHS. lol I actually slept in a bit and ran half way to school in the snow. What? Snow. Yeah. Finally. lol. White Christmas!

MM, BC, AL and RM came too. We visit some teachers and saw some people. Then we went to Harveys and talked about random stuff. lol. Then I went to watch the Christmas assembly. Not much variation in performaces, but some of them were really good. XP. JT is always really good.

Then I kinda just did more cleaning / Christmas decorating at home for the rest of the day.

Good times.

It's almost Christmas! I just got to say Merry Christmas to my East Asian friend Moped who received Christ this summer. I didn't get to talk much, but he said his family celebrates Christmas and have meals together.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

Letters Addressed to Me

I feel like this is the only time of the year that I really like cleaning.

It's the time of year when we clean our house so much because our grandparents would be coming.

A bit different these last couple years, but still the same general idea.

Umm, so ya, when I get bored I get a bit destructive and jump from one thing to the next. I tend to need something to do. I cleaned a lot today again. lol. I was actually not looking forward to cleaning, but this week I am 'being productive and not procrastinating' or at least in the hour after I wake up I am praying for that and that when I do get bored I'll look to God. The day started out a bit rough, but it turned out much better. xP I cleaned the toilet. *shudder*

Yeah. xP I really wanted to play pokemon. xP But I was like, I can do that while the sun isn't up. So I set my mind to cleaning at least one area today. I intended to do the entrance hall. It started with the cover for the air conditioner that never gets outside until it snows (lol >.>) Then I checked the mailbox.

!!! I can now sympathize with Animal Crossing characters that always begged for me to send them mail. It's like the best feeling in the world seeing the letter addressed to you from a friend. It's way better than email. Just saying. Probably two weeks ago you ask me if I care about the Post service. I really don't care. Today, very different story. Of course, I don't really see its effectiveness in keeping a current up to date knowledge of your friends when you have them on facebook or whatever. However, I also understand why my mom used to write update letters every Christmas for our relatives. Updates by mail, warranted. A 'how are you?', not as practical. >.<

So, ya. lol

Ttyl.

=D.Fa

Exam Traditions..?

So, I haven't blogged in a while again. lol.

This was because of my final exam for this semester and the subsequent period of relaxation. I don't even actually remember what I did. I think I mainly just watched television with my brother and I set up tmy tree inn my room although really there's no room for it. lol. (Even more like animal crossing. lol "anymore and the floor will give in!" lol)

Anyways, after cramming the second half of 'Cell Physiology and Biochemistry' into one day it was an okay exam I guess. Am I ever thankful that Mr. GG taught us so well back in grade 12..? Yeah! Duh. The exam was a lot about glycolysis and the Krebs cycle as well as some other stuff, but learning that stuff again was easier than the rest of the stuff I had to learn. xP

So, ya, one thing I have been doing since last year is that when it is exam time I wear my Carleton Science shirt to all of my exams without washing it until they are all done. lol. No superstition or anything though, I just get caught up in patterns / traditions. xP. Like, I think it was a coincidence the first time I did that, but then I was like, okay, let's keep doing this. So, every single exam I write at Carleton will be while wearing my weird baby blue Carleton shirt that has stretched significantly while in East Asia and has a hole at the back. lol >.>

Since grade 12 when  my English teacher told us that dark chocolate was good for your brain and that you should have some before your exam, I tried to get into a tradition of eating chocolate before the exams. That didn't work out. Too expensive. lol

Usually during exam breaks I end up watching an old series of anime to take up all the free time I've suddenly run into. Not this time. lol. I actually kinda figured out how to study during this exam break. I just read my whole textbook while making notes, then review the lecture slides like morning of, then read my notes. I did that for each of the exams I had this semester. But for BIOC the text was like 500 pages and the slides were like 2000 slides ... >.> He really did cover a lot of material in a very short amount of time. lol My brain crashed on Tuesday morning.

Ya, but really the better side of these exam traditions is that before every exam I pray. lol. I know that it wouldn't be by my knowledge that I somehow do well. I usually cram the last second. I don't deserve a good mark. I didn't really put that much effort in except at the last second.

Ya, so it's done and I get a fresh start for next semester. xP

As I had planned to, I put up my Christmas tree which I bought two years ago and as it goes, it seems that you guys, my blog stalkers, get to see pictures before my facebook friends. So, here is what my tree looked like when I plugged it in.

More later.

D.Fa

PS. Pakistan!

One Last Push

I seem to be getting into a 'self-preservation mode' concerning this last exam.


It's tomorrow afternoon and I honestly need so much studying, for that matter, learning actually because I missed a lot of the classes (I was physically there for at least part of all of them though).

Reading the textbook was probably a waste of time last night. I read 3 of the 15 chapters I needed to read, but it took forever. The 15 chapters are like 500 pages total. So much. Today I wasted the morning, but since coming to school to study with JXW I've looked over 6 of the 10 main lecture slides for the exam. Really, I'm learning right now. xP..............

Jeez. I really need to be more on top of things next semester / year.

So, yep. 18 hours and counting.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

PS. Having brothers in Christ to pray for / with / pray for you is really awesome. Thank you God.
PPS. FIGHTING!

I Guess I Left My Phone At Home

Hey guys!

I heard some suuuuupeeeer exciting news today, but again I don't think I'm allowed to tell you. -sigh-

But, ya. My day was really great. It was one of those days you wake up and just live, no need for technology (or homework. lol). So, ya. I slept in (the only good part of exam break) and ended up cleaning the living room a lot. Although in my break I got to see part of the Powerpuff Girls Christmas special "I can make three girls out of seasoning, but I can never get these lights to work" LOL! PPGs were one of the Cartoon Network shows I watched a lot when I was younger. I was watching today and I was like, wow their eyes are huge... they're like aliens! But ya, good times.

Anyways, cleaning and such to get the tree in the house. (lol. It's been sitting in the hole in our hedge pretending to be a hedge since last weekend) Ya, so that's that. Then I rushed off to church because I was 'late' for worship practice that I was leading. It went really quickly. I guess that's what happens when everyone on team is awesome and the music is all stuff everyone knows. >.>

We then played banana grams with a scrabble travel set and it was fun. xP. I love spending time with SM and AL. xP Then we had practice for the concert, ate pizza and then the concert. The Christmas Concert!

My parents and my brother came!!! (This is definitely the first time my brother has come to church!)

So, ya, as I said, I rushed to get to church, so I had to find socks and shoes and music and everything last second. I forgot to bring a folder for my music (thanks autie JB!), I ended up borrowing black socks from my brother (mine were all in the wash), and I also borrowed his dress shoes (they just so happened to be different sizes and as it happens, different shoes, like completely different (although very very similar)) (one size 9 and one sized 8 (ouch)) (the matching pair were in his locker at school apparently. He had ruched when he got them there).

The concert was really good. xP There were also reindeer shaped peanut butter cookies with chocolate dipped pretzels for antlers!

My mom says she might come to the Christmas service.

I guess I should pray for my family extra hard tonight, both in praise of what God is doing and prayer for the future.

Yup.

Ttyl.

=D.Fa

PS. I feel like it's really hard to approach your brother AL. He's becoming a semi-celebrity in my mind.

PPS. I meant to say something about how days with no technology is awesome. xP

As We Approach the Future

Well, that's the fourth one.

Just one more exam and then I'm free for the Christmas break. xP

Ah. ... Biochemistry. 120 Multiple Choice questions in three hours. If only it wasn't an 8:30 am class, I'd be way more prepared for this. Honestly, I slept in a lot these last couple months, making myself about 30 minutes late to basically all of my biochem classes. Also due to procrastination I usually was working on finishing a lab report instead of focussing in class, so I really know very little about what I've supposed to have learned. I know I need to read my textbook... >.> and luckily the lecture slides are online, so I'll look over those.

Only 89 hours until the exam. lol... It really does look like a lot of time. I think I'm getting a bit better at studying (ignoring the plants exam). I think I'm also seeing the benefit of reading the textbooks.

Gah. I need to have a conversation with my parents about what I'm doing this summer... I really want to go to Asia again. >.< But I don't want to do it against my parents.

Gah. I don't want to be sick. The Christmas concert is just 20 hours away. I found out today that we aren't having a Christmas eve service since Christmas is on Sunday, so I can spend Christmas eve with my family, which is great.

Sigh. So many things I'm not in control of and can't predict.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

PS. Baby sloths are way too cute.

Brothers

Hey, so, instead of studying I got right to work on something else that I was supposed to work on kinda and it was great. lol.

So, like, there's a lot of furniture in our living room where the Christmas tree is going to go,  so we needed to make room in another place for it. There's this room we call the 'playroom' in our house. It's like this really big room where the toys used to be and where we played video games and stuff. It's been through a lot of spatial changes but was always the playroom. It's kinda turning into a storage room now that my brother has moved out of it and also, there's kinda no electricity in it or something..? I don't know. lol. Not worth the effort to figure that one out. xP. There's also this kinda cycle of cleaning our house so that it can get messy again. So, today as it was, it was a little messy and very cluttered and hadn't been really used in a couple months, so kinda spider-y, except mainly just cobwebs, not spiders. But ya. I got my brother to come with me and start another one of our 'schemes'.

A 'scheme' is generally defined as an exciting adventure usually involving moving furniture which often our parents have no idea is going on until it is done. This is one thing that me and my brother have bonded over multiple times. Maybe it's partially idipendence, or stuborness, or maybe partially that they usually used to go against what our parents had decided (like the time we sneaked our bunk beds upstairs when our parents had said "no, there's no room"), I don't know, but it always had a feeling of doing something yourself and the feeling of accomplishment once it was done.

Tonight's scheme was reffered to as 'the stab'. Largely because the 'playroom' is always the room no one wants to clean because it's always the messiest / most work, so we were just taking a stab at it. Mainly we had to make room for the furniture from upstairs later on, but when I organize a room I have to clean it too. So, we got to work with a garbage bag, a large recycling bin, a 'buckette', a 'webinator' and managed to clean half of the room and the hallway to it. We only got about 2/3 a bag of garbage and didn't really remove much from the room, so mainly it was just tetris skills. Did I mention we did it all by flashlight? lol. So good. and after an hour or so I got KFA's ipod and we listened to Adele and then some other music too. lol.

Good times.

Oh, today I guess I locked myself in my room and listened to Adele for 3 hours while making a long list of all the reactions used in our orgo chem class. I had cheese and crackers with anime. I had dinner and watched television with my brother. Then at 6:30 we went to watch him and the other band kids at MHS for their "winter wonderband" concert. Nostalgia. I'm still over-protective of the Cello pans. >.>

Ya. It's nearly Christmas!

Ttyl.

D.Fa

PS. I'm really glad to see that me and my brother have bonded over things in the past and present.
PPS. I don't expect you to understand the words I made up during our mission.
PPPS. "Cleaning is a 6$ an hour job" and I found a toonie stuck under the foot of a buffet. I really had to work for it though, it was squished into the carpet. lol. I only made 8$ for that 3 hour cleaning though. >.< Whatever. xP All the more change for my piggy bank. >.> (that is a menacing glare at my piggy bank)

Second Opinions

So, I guess I haven't said anything about a certain singer I briefly mentioned a while ago. I've slowly been hearing a bit more of her songs and in fact when I went to have sushi with my brother and mother for some reason only her songs were playing (not the normal any and everything random and inconsistent playlist. lol).

She has a really pretty voice and her songs are usually very real (ie very few synthetic sounds). Also, often the words she sings are powerful and not so many that they overwhelm you. I don't know. lol.

Yesterday I discovered this song. You can even get that she is sarcastic when singing so beautifully just by the way she articulates her words. She even skats a bit. lol. Even the video is so simple, but very powerful.



Ya, so Adele is a bit more than 'not bad' or 'pretty good'.

D.Fa

Incomprehensibly

I'm seriously never going to understand this.

How can God love me so much?

How can He love me so much, with all my faults, with all my sins, with everything  I've done, everything I still do, everything I will end up doing..?

How can He love so much that He would, that He would die for me..?

It just, it just is, it's just not something that I think I could do. It's just not something I can see other people doing. It's beyond humanity.

I can hold a grudge against someone for the stupid little thing that I'm too scared to bring to his face, so I just get slowly more bitter over time, but He, God, loves so much that He'd die for us even when we choose sin, choose lust, choose greed, choose ourselves over Him, not just once, but thousands of times.

How can I deserve this love? I can't. Then why do I receive this love? Because He loves so much that He'd do everything to pay your debt for you. Even though I owe more than my life for my iniquities, HE has payed for them on the cross. He has taken my sin and nailed it to the cross.

Through Jesus' death our sins were paid for and by His resurrection we were given the new life.

If we confess our sins, even the ones we are still committing, and turn back to Him, whole-heartedly repenting, agreeing with Him about our error, having a change of attitude and subsequently action, God is willing to forgive us.

I'm never going to understand how His grace works. How He has apportioned each of us a measure of grace, more than enough, yet exactly enough for the whole world and everyone in it.

I guess the only thing I can do is wake up tomorrow knowing that God still loves me and try by the power of the Holy Spirit given to me to live better tomorrow to glorify His name, rather than gratifying the desires of the flesh.

Oh God, why do we have to go through trials... Why do we fall when we try in our own strength... Why do I voluntarily go against you again and again..?

Thank you so much for your grace. Thank you so much for your love. Thank you so much for the cross.

Thank you for your forgiveness, may I not take advantage of it.

I'm not gonna understand all of this fully until the end, but I guess that's where faith comes in.

When Your Life is Crammed Out of Your Schedule

I guess by now you have realized that I have been cramming for the past day and a half, or at least, I really should have been doing so. lol.

So, Sunday, pretty normal, maybe..? Since I'm at my parents' house now, I can get a drive to church last second. xP No real Sunday school class this week, so I chilled with 'the young'uns' with PE and his Sunday school group. Then service, Pastor AN was preaching about the three attitudes of people when Jesus was born, Anxiety (Herod), Apathy (the religious people) and Adoration (the wise men).

Then I went home and watched anime then we got our Christmas Tree! It's kinda small, but I think since I've gotten taller, I've been thinking it's smaller when it actually isn't. This has been happening for like a few years now. (On Sunday I got to help some customers put their tree that they bought from my work into their car. The trees were all like 6'5" or something, but they were all so short and light. In my opinion anyways. lol..?) Then I chilled at home for a bit until it was time to go again.

Bethel's "Singing Christmas Tree" performance was full. It was closing night. It was really good as always. I got to see RW and MY and AL. Hot Chocolate with Candy Canes.

Then I went home and did my chore, got some stuff and walked home instead of waiting half an hour for the bus. lol

Monday. I kinda slept in and went to school later than originally planned, didn't really study too much. I was actually mainly eavesdropping a very interesting conversation a couple Korean people were having about what they prayed for when they were younger and people who say they are Christians, but you can tell they aren't and I wasn't really paying enough attention to get much out of it, but I was paying enough attention that my studying was suffering. Why were they sitting there anyways..? Why were we (me and JXW) sitting there? In the middle of the Athletics building on the floor..? The whole campus is right there... lol... Ya, I guess I learned a bit..? lol.

I went home, had dinner, did some studying, played guitar / tried making a video of myself playing / sining O Little Town of Bethlehem, but for various reasons the video wasn't posted.

Umm. Today I slept in again accidentally... I had an exam at 2pm. Could ahve gone either way... >.< Very much cramming was done this morning. No lunch. Sushi with my mom and brother for dinner. You should always attempt to get your money's worth when going to 'all you can enjoy' sushi. Ya. and I've kinda been wasting tonight relaxing a bit. lol...

Uggg... So much delicious food... Too much. lol...

Ttyl.

D.Fa

Average Post Scripts

Well, yesterday not much happened.

I had driving lessons as usual after frantic last second packing of enough stuff to last for a week (which turns out to be far more than the amount I packed for Asia. >.>) Then I guess I just kinda chilled at home for a few hours. I watched a food network Christmas special, ate doughnuts, cleaned my room (I can't live in a room until I have thoroughly cleaned it) and got ready for work.

Then I had work (go figure) last time for the year though (unless Salad Bar needs me). That means I can spend more time with my family I guess.

Three exams to go. Fighting!

D.Fa

PS. (Sometimes I feel I say more in parentheses than in regular paragraph text)
PPS. I really like my room right now. It feels like Animal Crossing to me. lol
PPPS. My coat has a Doraemon pocket now. In it currently are a scarf, glove, scissors, some twine, a hat, a wrapper for a painting drop sheet and insulation I guess (since it's actually just a hole in my pocket that goes to the inside of my coat).
PPPPS. Candy Cane Ice Cream and Egg Nog, check and check.

No More Math

Yo. How can I say this..?

I think I did really well on my final exam this morning. lol...

It was really long, but Stats is actually very logical (probably more than Phys chem, because that gets into the range of theoretical which doe snot always make sense. lol), so ya, I think it went well.

Ya, today was a lot of relaxation after the last three days of cramming math into my brain. lol.

I walked and talked with a bunch of people after the exam for a bit, picked up my Biol assignment and got my term lab mark, then bussed to my parents' house / work to check if I am working tomorrow (which I am unfortunately... no caroling I guess...) and I don't know, I wanted to go home. lol.

I ended up cleaning. Like, a lot. I really enjoy seeing something really clean after having earlier been dirty. I also just really like clean houses. lol.

My mom bought this ridiculous animated and lit reindeer thing for the front lawn, which right now looks hilarious because there is only one of them and there's no snow... lol. It just moves it's head back and forth. The antlers and ears are just held in place by gravity, so likely they will fall out at some point... lol.

Ya. I guess I'm moving home tomorrow. I'm really tired. lol.

Ttyl

D.Fa

PS. Playing guitar after a long break gets painful fast. lol.

Should I Study..?

Always busy even during the exam period. >.<

Well, ya.yesterday was good I guess. During the exam break, I kinda take it one exam at a time, so basically I've been focused on studying for this Physical Chemistry Exam for this morning. It's not a good plan, but I don't really read my textbook until the exam week. Luckily Phys Chem chapters are only like 20 pages each, so it wasn't that bad.

Of course though, exams don't stop the rest of my life, they just really put a hold on things... lol. So, last Friday when KC was unavailable I was really busy too. We rescheduled and met up yesterday. John 4. I don't have all of the answers, but just having a conversation about the things we aren't clear about. Then we had a lesson about Prayer. I've been waiting for this one for a long time. lol. I really want KC to have a strong relationship with God. That means both reading the Bible and praying, talking with God, which is something I've seen him shy away from a number of times. Well, praying out loud is different, I agree, but ya. I want to see him so passionate that you can hear it in his voice when he prays out loud. Ya. I'm still super glad that I get to spend time with KC. I hope he comes to the Christmas concert (btw there's a Christmas concert at OCBC on Dec 17th at 7pm) and comes out to a fellowship or DG or something next semester.

I also had practice for the concert last night after hanging out with JXW and SP at school studying. I'm really excited for it. xP

Ya. I'm really bad at studying though. lol. I spent a lot of time trying to figure out my first vlog and it's still pretty bad. lol.




Ya, so, that's me I guess. lol. I was cramming even this morning, but then the first question (it even said so itself) was a CHEM1000 first year chemistry calculation. Very comforting.

So, ya. STATS is tomorrow and I need to go start studying. lol

Busy busy.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

Escalator Thingees that are on a Slant!

Yesterday was the last of classes for the 'Fall Semester' at Carleton University.

The last day on a Monday..? Weird. Ya. And yet, I still had three full length classes yesterday. >.>

Anyways, I went to classes, I handed in my final assignment, and then I basically did nothing until 5:30. Prayer meeting was good. We went and saw GS who is living in a tent in front of the UC building in solidarity with those living in Attawapiskat which has now been declared a state of emergency or something. He is doing this to raise 1000$ for the community. The 1800 people of the community are living in tents or trailers or houses far below the standards, without access to a school in the community, and water that is below drinking standards (I think). It's really cool that he has such a passion for the First Nation Peoples.

LT invited me, MW and RM over to his house for dinner. It was cool. We went to a Loblaws and bought salad, pizza, frozen juice and wings.  They had a slanted escalator thing!!!!!! Just like in East Asia!!! I took pictures. lol... I've never seen one in Canada, so it's pretty exciting. lol

Ya. We also watched Kung Fu Panda 2. I kinda wanted to play Dominion instead, but it was a good movie. In general, I don't care for Jack Black's brand of comedy. >.>

Ya. and now I am wasting time instead of studying.... Time to cram.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

PS. I may actually talk to you later, or rather, I made a couple videos for a vlog, but youtube is having a maintenance thingee, so I need to wait a bit. I'll tell you all about it later. xP

Mulled Apple Soda and Most of a package of 'Oreo's

So, from where I left off:

Saturday started early as usual with a driving lesson from my dad. Then I had to go to worship team practice. It was a guys only, full team. Very rare. I haven't been on team in a while and when I was I was leading, so it was good being able to step back and just worship.

After the practice, me, AL's brother and SM had a practice for our performance of 'We Three Kings'. You see there's going to be a Christmas concert on the 17th and we are one of the acts. lol.

I realized how much I love singing Christmas hymns. lol. Also, how much the songs really mean. I think I am planning to do a large number of youtube videos of Christmas songs... lol.

I went home, super late, it was like 3 when I got home or something. I ate lunch and tried to figure out what was happening that night. You see, I had thought that I'd be working 2-10 like usual because last week I had booked off work to go have sushi with the first years, which basically guarantees my working the following week. I had like three different parties I was invited to, but since I was at OCBC the night before and because I've not been able to go to a large number of the other parties SC has organized, he was priority number one. However, when asked what was happening, it sounded like 'you, me and SO are meeting downtown to spend a lot of money' (my paraphrase.) So, instead I just told him about the YA Christmas party (potluck and secret santa gift exchange) and how he and SO could come.

Like twenty minutes passed. Then he finally said ok. lol. It was a really awesome party. All of the food was delicious. All of the exchanged presents were hilarious and very creative. There was a photo-shopped memory postcard calendar, a hand-made snow triangular prism jar, a gentleman's top hat and monocle, a live action adaptation of a chapter of manga, cookies, poems, cake, a drawing of a dinosaur. Many awesome gifts. Very jealous I was of basically everyone. We talked and continued eating desserts for a long time. Mini cheesecakes. Mmmm.

That was over 6 hours of fun times. and both SC and SO had fun too I think.

Sunday, sleep in and get a drive from TM. Thanks! Ummm. Sunday school, service, lunch and a prayer walk. Really cool. The other evangelical church in Westboro came and had lunch with us and then we went out to pray for the community. DvdP was there too!!! She's like a mini celebrity to me. lol. I've heard her talk about getting involved in events in my community for over a year (from a Radio station).

We came back from the prayer walk and were talking about what we prayed for and stuff and  I was asked to scribe using my cell phone... lol.


I stayed at church until Acts Course. I was working on my last Phys Chem assignment. It was a lot more work than I had thought it would be. >.> I didn't get much done in the three hours of so between the prayer walk and class, but I got a lot of figuring stuff out in my head done in that time.


Acts was good. We mainly talked about where we are personally, small groups and as a church and how we can change or think about how to continue from here based on the Pauline cycle.


Got a drive home, made dinner, cleaned the floors, finished my assignment, watched One Piece. Went to sleep at 2am.

And now it is 4pm Monday. I have no more classes this semester and my first exam is only a couple days away. What to do..? Hmmmm.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

A Kinda Mini-Vacation

Hey guys!

I haven't blogged in a while. lol...

Last week the first half was really intense. Then Wednesday afternoon hit and there was this shift into having nothing to do. (or at least it felt that way). The only thing  I had left to do before exams was a 'little assignment' due today. So, I just assumed I'd do that on like Sunday or something.

I don't remember everything that happened, lol, but it was good. Wednesday I definitely went to the OCBC end of the month prayer meeting. It was good. We were in the possible new building and praying about it and about the spiritual warfare we'd be in, should we move there. We prayed for Westboro. God is victorious over sin and death. There is nothing that can stop Him, so why should we be afraid. If we are called to be a light to the community and stay in Westboro, then it's our duty to get out there and fight for change in the community, fighting with the armor given us by God and the spiritual weapons given us to demolish strongholds of darkness and despair.

Thursday I think I had one class and then I stayed at school. Yep! I had been putting off reading the Bible and felt really bad about it, so I sat down and read the rest of Job. lol. It was an interesting ending. The younger guy rebukes his friends and then Job, then God shows up to rebuke him and some stuff happens... lol. A while later after a prayer meeting (we have a new sister by the way! =D) and some socializing, I ended up in the room we usually have C4C weekly meetings in. My friend AH is in a documentary class and Thursday was the screening of their class' documentaries. There were three and they were all very interesting and about creativity.

The next morning I felt like I had nothing to do. I read the whole of 'Song of Songs' that morning over breakfast. I think it's a little strange the way they describe each other.

That day I had one-on-one discipling with LT and later KC, but KC got a call from work to fill in, so that's cool. I always feel my time with LT is cut short anyways. Although really, I think we talked way more with people walking by than we did with each other. lol.

Then I looked through all my blog posts for the last semester. That took longer than I thought it might. It was good seeing what has happened.

Then I went to see the Master of Architecture Grad Show. It was interesting. Very interesting... A little weird though. lol.

Then I took the Otrain and a bus to church for a talk about the state of guys these days and their lack of motivation and specifically the role of video games in this issue. I made a decision to go to that instead of the C4C Christmas banquet. It was really interesting seeing how the fathers were really interested and care for their sons.

Thursday and Friday were really a time of reflection and a bit of a relaxation period. I think I really needed it, but ya. It was good, but now I need to get back to work. lol. Gotta study. >.>

(more about the weekend in a different post)

Reviewing the Semester

So, RM needs stats for sharing and stuff. For the whole semester. >.> Why is he telling me this now. I have like 2 hours to do this.... If I didn't have a blog I'd have no idea what happened. lol.

Thoughts:

• Whoa. In frosh week when I was in Haven Bookstore I was reading a design textbook and now I'm involved in M22 and learning about design and stuff. I have like a million new architecture / ID friends. It's so weird. lol
• Truth: If I don't see someone for a long time, I don't talk to them for a long time. However, after acquiring their phone number and nothing else, we are still good. lol
• God answers prayers. I see God working in KC's life every time I meet up with him. It's so encouraging. Also, I've been seeing JS and MC grow so much. JS's prayers are so awesome. lol.
• Don't base things on your first impressions. Don't.
• I need to become more direct sometimes. >.> Instead ofasking CW to stop playing video games so I can go to sleep I blame him for being an arts student. I'm sorry.
• I still need to get back into good Quiet Time habits. Just taking time to listen and reflect and ask and be reminded by God where we are in relation to Him and the grace he has apportioned us.
• It's funny how God works. So many things I wouldn't have imagined have happened.
• God desires a relationship with us, not because he needs us, but because he loves us. Eternal life starts now, not after death.
• Yo. Some of my posts are pretty strong. Who is writing this blog..? Me..? No way. (not to be ego filled, but humbled that God would use me to encourage others)
• I miss JW and my East Asian friends as well as basically everyone... lol

Marriage..? o.0

Well, I think this is far from now. Or at least I think it is, but seeing everyone getting married, like 4th year or just after graduating, I guess anything could happen.

I guess I was asked what I would want in a wife, what I am looking for. I wrote the following, but truthfully, I would normally not answer the question. lol.

I want there to be real love. I want to see her seeking the Lord and being led and filled with the Spirit. I want to see her passionate. I want us to be able to work together to build each other up and support each other and love the Lord together. I want to reflect the trinity in our union. I want her to be happy. I want to be able to be open and talk with her for hours. I don't want a relationship based on lies.

I suppose I don't ever really know what I want, what I should want, what I desire, what I hope for.

I don't feel ready. I don't feel confident. I don't feel like I'm good enough.

I don't know. I think my definition, my 'list' has changed over the past few years.

It's so much more about her heart and who she is in the Lord, where her passions lie and how we can work together. I don't think I've ever really been too focused on the externality of a person, however, it probably does have an effect on how I interact with a person.

Ah... It's so complicated. >.<

I don't know my own heart.

Another thing is that the man is supposed to take the lead, which I am far from doing regularly. >.> I need to grow in this area. [Obviously, following God's leading.] Honestly, I'll never be perfect. She will have to accept me for my faults and I will have to accept her for hers, but together we will grow to reflect more and more of God's glory.

I honestly can't wait to have kids. >.>

Ok. That's probably enough personal information. xP

Ttyl.

D.Fa

Sharing / My Prof >.>

Ok, so a lot of the time I just tell you random things that happen in my life. I will also let you know more about what my professors are like in this post.

To begin with, me and SM went sharing on campus again. We started off in the food court (which is where I went sharing for the first time with SS!) We ended up meeting D(?) and having a really great conversation. His mom used to go to church, but after a fight with his dad, she went less often or something and just he has only been to church for like Easter and Christmas. He is a criminal law student and he is really passionate about justice. He wouldn't want to be condemning innocent people or defending those who are guilty.

We got to talking about our craving for justice and how God can satisfy our craving. Jesus took all of the injustice to bring us life and pay for our mistakes and we know that God will in the end bring each of us to judgement, but human law doesn't satisfy. He was really interested. We got to talking about the gospel, and it seemed a little odd to us that he hadn't really heard it before. He had to go write a last minute paper, but he asked for contact information, which is awesome.

We also got to talk with M(?), which was brought about partially because me and SM were talking about wearing cross necklaces, which he was. He has a Catholic background, but isn't practicing, and is even pretty much agnostic now. When we were talking to him, he was saying how he believed God is imperfect just like us, that perfection is found in imperfection. There is definitely beauty in the imperfect, we have been made in his image, but God's wrath was always righteous, not on a whim. God is perfect, if he wasn't, we wouldn't worship him.

Anyways, we got to talking about his cross necklace and it was apparently more for sentimental value given to him by a friend. He just always wears it. He actually forgot he was wearing it when I asked. lol. Then I got to tell him about my bracelet and how it also has meaning. How the gold string means that we were created in the image of God as perfect and holy, but as the dark string explains, we have all fallen away and become sinful people, separated from God and His love for us. But there is nothing we could/can do by our power to bridge the gap. But out of God's great love for us, he sent his only Son to die for our sins. The red string represents His blood that has been poured out for us. God sent His son to die on the cross for us. For you and me. So that our sins could be payed for. The sins which separated us have been forgiven and paid for. So in God's sight we are white as snow, which is what the clean string represents. Finally the green string represents our growing relationship with God. When we accept Jesus as our savior, our relationship as God's children is reestablished and eternal life begins.

Ya. We got to talk for a little while after that. We found out a bit about him and his past jobs and what he's into. It turns out we have some mutual friends and we're actually both in Raven's log and CUJA. lol. >.> Ya, so I'll be seeing him around I guess. xP

Ya, so.

My plant bio prof. He's pretty crazy. lol.

http://science.carleton.ca/news/11/one-faculty-members-commute-work-first-snowy-day-ottawa

Yep. That's my crazy Bio prof that canoes to work, wears a sweater, leg warmers and nothing on his feet while speaking, can't use clicker technology, doesn't have definitive answers for questions, has a large grey beard and often talks about plants that drugs are made from in class. He's pretty weird. We went to the greenhouses today after class on a field trip. lol

He's pretty weird. He talked for over a week about Maple Syrup. He asked us to bring knives to class so that we could cut a beet and see the multiple vascular cambia. He has described pollen in a very odd way when we were talking about 'plant sex'. He described pollen as 'detachable penises' >.> Sorry if that's too much to handle. It's a really weird class. xP

Ya.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

PS! No Way!!! Azerbaijan!!! We were praying about it earlier today!

What is Christmas about?

You know what is awesome?

Getting to talk to my friend that I haven't seen in months and on top of that being able to talk to her about Jesus.

She really likes Christmas, especially the movies and songs. "or maybe i should say i like songs about christmas,i just like that kind of feelings.so warm ,so peaceful".

We kept talking and I guess I figured Christmas is all about love. Specifically God's great and immeasurable love for us.

My friend had a conversation with AL before about how we were created, humans were created to be in a loving relationship with God. He loves us and has a plan for our lives, but we chose to go our own way and have become separated from Him. Not only have we become separated, but we have no way of returning by ourselves. Nothing we can do can right the wrongs we have made or earn our way back. God is perfect, but we weren't. But God loved us so much that He gave His one and only Son.

That is where Christmas comes in. "Christmas is the day we celebrate Jesus being born into the world, born into the world out of God's love for us, born into the world so that we could be saved and the separation between us and God bridged." I think it's also the reason that we give gifts to each other.

I asked her "why do you think we give gifts?" and she answered "giving ,because god gives us so much,and we should share the greates love?" (That made me so happy. lol)

God gave us the greatest gift of all.

He gave us His only Son and even sent Him to die defeating sin and death and rose to life again giving us hope and new life. She thanked me for explaining what Christmas was and thought that all this was "great".

The only thing is that actually (as we learned in church on Sunday) God commands a response. We need to do more than just know these things. Acts 17:30.

God commands a response.

Anyways.

I hope to have more time to talk with her and my other friends from East Asia. It's really encouraging to see the seeds planted continue growing and hearing about all the other stuff that is happening here, there and everywhere to the glory of God.

Ya.

Ttyl.

=D.Fa

Non-Wasted Time

I guess you could say this week was pretty cool. I haven't really had time to post due to two lab reports due this morning and everything, but ya. The week is over.

I got to go sharing with SM on Thursday. It was pretty sweet. I mean, we were going to go Wednesday, but he had some work, so Thursday 11:45. He had some work pop up again, so we rescheduled to 1.

SM. I can't wait to see how God uses SM in the future. His prayers are always so genuine and passionate. Ya. He had only gone sharing a couple times before and he didn't really count them. I asked him questions and briefed him on the how and what to expect. And so we went. I may have put a bit of pressure on him because when I go with someone else, I kinda make them choose who we are talking to. It's one of my biggest sharing weaknesses (as you can tell from my past posts) so I mentally trade the responsibility to my partner and prepare to start a conversation, which I'm also not the best at. Just not worrying for hours about who to approach makes the initial approach sooooo much easier.

Ya, we ended up speaking with two Catholic guys from Ottawa, but our conversation was cut short by class. From what we talked about it seemed like church was a family thing. We spoke about a bunch of things. We didn't quite get to the KGP, but we gave them a couple to look over. We definitely spoke about the gospel in conversation. It was good.

Then we approached another couple guys, but they had a lot of work to do. He said that he had been approached before, but that he was very interested, so if we see him again, he wants us to approach. lol.

Next was a guy with a class in a couple minutes.

And finally we talked to this Muslim asian guy. I didn't expect that. lol We were talking and apparently both SM and him were from the same town! Pretty cool. I asked what he knew about Jesus, but he said he didn't know much, so I asked SM and he basically shared the gospel. Not usually the approach, but when I asked if he would like to look at the KGP booklet with us he said he wasn't interested right now, but that he'd share it with his friends. So, basically, by the Spirit's leading SM shared the gospel because God knew the KGP was the wrong approach. PTL. lol

An hour spent for the Lord is not wasted.

I hope SM has learned a bit about sharing, that it doesn't matter who you approach or their initial response, and that SM has grown a bit. I seem to have spent a lot of time socializing this week. This isn't nearly as much of a waste of time as facebook/youtube in isolation though.

I got to know SP and K(?) way better as well as now that the first step in talking to JXW about spiritual things is out of the way, the other half of my life, the part that has Jesus in every bit of it can be talked about much more easily. xP

Ya. This morning I ran to school. Well, partly. Me and CW left at the same time and for a portion of the journey I was ahead of him even though he was on bike. xP

Ya. I still have three more things on my list of things to blog about.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

Seven hours of Sleep

Well, I'm done my final phys chem lab!! =D Now I just need to do the report... But it's only an interview, not even an informal report. xP

Ya. I guess I didn't really finish it until really recently. Like, I finished it at 2:29ish..? (Due at 2:35 in the lab) I got 7 hours of sleep though. xP And it's not worth very much, which is annoying, but means it doesn't matter as much. lol.

Ya. Yesterday I didn't get home from my audition until like 3:30. Actually 3:24 exactly. lol (that was retrieved from my Moleskine time data book (MTDB for short)) Then I had lunch and watched anime because I was really hungry. I really should have worked some more on my lab though. >.> I really didn't do much while I was at home.

Ya. The audition was pretty good. I got to sing 'In Christ Alone' and did a scene with two girls. The one was really good. As much as I want a role, I hope she gets one. The other girl seemed really shy and her acting wasn't the best, but while we were actually doing the scene she did way better then while we were practicing.

Acts class was good. It's really cool because it's with a bunch of people I don't spend much time with. DE, TR, NE, JS, and AZ. Ya. We talked about missionaries, what that even means, what it should mean, how OCBC supports missionaries and some other stuff.

Ok. Last hour of the day and I am working on my chem lab. CW decides to teach me how to clean the bathroom (for actual reasons, not randomly). I was supposed to clean the bathroom this week, but I was making excuses like 'but they just did the sealing on the bathtub yesterday', 'I don't know how', etc. lol. I actually did want to see CW's technique since he was the judge / he is the best at cleaning it. You've got to learn the standards from the one who sets them, eh? Lol. So, he taught me verbally and with arm motions and concluded it with an encouraging 'Go!' then went downstairs. I immediately turned the bathroom light off and went downstairs too. JS though this was very funny. I did too. lol

So, in the last hour I did a reflection on Ephesians 4 which is really cool and in the last 20 minutes did the bathroom.

Then I went downstairs to bed (before CW for once. xP) so he was displaced to the living room. I was really hyper for some reason, so I did some push-ups then went to bed.

I feel like every time I'm in the same room as a sleeping CW, he wakes up. Always. Which made me feel bad for the longest time, but now I don't care because it's unavoidable. >.>

I definitely do not remember him going to sleep. xP

Ttyl.

D.Fa

Baptisms!

Hey!

So, this morning I slept in.... Not on purpose... I was supposed to only sleep 7 hours. >.> Anyways... It was rainy... ruin my plans to bike. Anyways... lol. I wasn't going to go to OCBC today. Instead I went to 'myCHURCH'. myCHURCH does not mean the same thing as 'my church'. it is instead the name of a church, or group of people (which is what a church is, a group of believers). They usually have service in a theatre downtown I think, but ya, this morning they were in my Biochem classroom... >.<

Why did I go?

Because DS was getting baptized! !!! =D! So exciting! And her mom got to stay in Canada for it! Ya. This morning 8 individuals proclaimed their faith in Jesus as their savior. Their stories were varying, but they all found life in the death of Jesus and the love poured out for them.

DS said it wasn't a normal service. There wasn't a sermon really, just baptisms. xP. Well, there was what could be called a worship concert and offering before the baptisms. myCHURCH really loves smoke machines and audio-visual stuff apparently. There were 9 people on worship team. The pastor was really 'hip' with his "Tom's" and his plaid shirt and everything. lol...

It was different, but I was told it wasn't a normal service, so I'll let it slide. I hope there is more Bible in it usually then there was this time.

Overall, it was great seeing DS and the others being 'dunked' and like 10 people raised their hand saying that they wanted to accept Jesus into their lives today, so I guess that was good. They proclaimed the gospel throughout the time there.

I guess that was my fourth church that I've been to. Apparently I know a few people that go to it, including IP, a grade 11 student. This blew away my stigma towards myCHURCH as being the church with only university students (there were a number of adults too, just ya, I guess I thought everyone would be older rather than younger..?).

I'm also really excited for MC's baptism next week! (I can't go to it though.... =< )

Ya.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

PS. Belarus!

Time Management.

So, yesterday.

As usual I had a ton of things scheduled. I actually finished my organic chemistry prelab the night before, so I didn't have any really urgent school work to do. xP

I bussed to school. That was awkward. It was (at least according to a group on facebook) 'sing on the bus day'. I was so excited to get on the bus and just have everyone singing. Did not happen... and I didn't want to be the only person singing... and I hadn't really prepared anything... So I was like singing really quietly............... awkward.

Physical chemistry lecture. boring.

Then I was supposed to meet up with LT for our one on one discipling time. Class had ended a bit early and LT is often a bit late, so I figured that I had time to go heat up my leftovers for lunch. It was like stir-fried vegetables and clam chowder on rice. Mmm. Ya. He arrived and we continued to try and set goals for the year. I am bad at sitting down and setting goals. Like, I see the purpose of goals, but I am terrible at setting them non-spontaneously. I say non-spontaneously because I do set goals based off of experiences and what is happening and what I want to happen.

Like, ya, so, this week was supposed to be 'the swan dive' and so I made myself available to the best of my ability for the other first year guys and stuff. I offered multiple time slots everyday of the week and told them to message me if they were able to / wanted to go with me. I did not hear back from anyone. The only time I went sharing was when me and LT ran into DP and so we went. So, I set a goal. Instead of them coming to me, which they still can, I will actively pursue them and (here's the goal) go sharing with each of the other guys in C4C by the end of the year. If that means 20 or so guys, let's go. We've got like 13 weeks next semester and a week left or so. That's plenty of time. xP (especially with only 3 labs next semester. yuss.)

Ya. So, I guess (if you can't tell) I have a lot of issues with time management, but I guess I don't really associate them with so called 'spiritual growth' goals. I guess I have in my mind divided how I live and treat myself from my relationship with God..? That, that's not really good. He is Lord of all. My life should reflect that and ya, every aspect should be worship to him. So, I guess LT challenged me to do something about my time management.

The challenge: Write down what I spend my time on for a week (or two..?) while also getting 7 hours of sleep each day (or trying to).

So, you know. I really want to do this, I suppose. I mean, it's something I really need to work on and so I want to be committed to it. So, to make sure I am committed to it I bought a notebook, a pocket-sized notebook. But not even one of those dollar store ones that I can just throw away or whatever. I bought a set of two mini Moleskine notebooks. Now I am committed. I didn't buy them just because of all the hype behind moleskines, but also because they were the smallest notebooks I could find in the bookstore and that they were expensive... T.T I am not one to buy unnessecary things, especially expensive ones. It was 8$. I am committed. lol.

So, ya. Let's see how that goes. I'm trying, like, down to the minute, but not quite that intense. Just like whenever the focus switches. I'll do a bunch of analysis later. (I like data analysis =D)

Yup. Then I got to meet up with KC again. I'm really glad I get to spend time with him and that we get to spend time reading the Bible and ya, to spend time thinking about these things. We read John 2 and did a lesson on growth and the essentialness of prayer and reading the Bible and obedience in growth. So, this week we are going to read the Bible daily before bed and hold each other accountable. He had to go to work, but it was another great meeting. I can't wait until our lesson on prayer. xP. I really want to see him praying passionately.

Umm. Organic chem lab. We watched clear liquid go from one point to another really slowly by evaporating and condensing like a million times. >.> Kinda boring, but we know what our liquids were! =D (which is the point of the experiment. Separating two liquids and determining which they were by testing them.)

Then me and NF went to Story of the Soul (after a brief chat with MC who played on worship team with NF at Getaway two years ago!). SotS was good. We watched a couple movie clips, looked at a painting and heard CW's testimony of hope in a difficult time. and JXW came! =D (even though the O-train broke down... >.>) Ya. There were a bunch of people there (I haven't heard an official count yet though. I counted 45 at the end, but people may have already left at that point).

Ya. Then 11 of us went to bubbletea in China town and played Apples to Apples in My Sweet Tea. lol. So fun. AG is hilarious and I think a lot of us hadn't actually had dinner, just sugary baked goods at SotS and bubbletea. lol.

Ya. I need to change. I don't want to be the one that makes you cry, but rather the one you can cry on.

I talked with CW for like half an hour before going to sleep. xP. I really wanted to do that like everyday the way me and DP did in EA. It's one thing I think good roommates should do. xP

Ya.

Ttyl. I've got to do my Phys chem lab now since I have work at 2... >.>

=D.Fa

PS. DS's baptism tomorrow!!!!!!! So exciting!

Things Change.

Well, I guess things change.

Yesterday was cool. XP (My memory sucks, yo. I needed to really think about that.) Yesterday was really cool because I got to talk about stuff like the Bible and prayer meetings and more stuff about C4C and the iCrave Freedom campaign with a bunch of my friends. I got to see PK who I haven't seen in a long while. We got to talk about music and food and stuff. He was working on this assignment for food studies I think. He was supposed to write out his diet for three days. He decided his own diet wasn't good for the assignment so he was basically making it up. lol. He asked if I wanted to start a band with him. >.> Interesting idea, not enough time.

Ya. xP. Today was also good. I slept in way too long, but I got to school on time after printing my lab report at home and stuff. Ummmm. I had a meeting with AG my language exchange partner. Today's story was about a girl from China who came to Canada to study and the differences between the two.

Then me and LT had a meeting with MZ and her friend about the iCF campaign and how M22 could get involved and it sounds legit. They came up with this idea about doing bus shelter informational installations or something like that. You see M22 wanted to do a bus shelter installation already to beautify the bus shelters and stuff. When we were talking today the idea that a lot of women get caught up in human trafficking when they are in transit really caught her eyes I guess and so that idea was formed. I think it will be cool though because everyone needs to use the buses at some point and ya it could be really strong.

I got to go sharing with DP after handing in my lab report. We talked to a first year computer science student with a mixed background. He was a really quiet person, but the conversation was good.

Later I got to catch up with JW for the first time in a while. Always good. xP

I managed to get a bunch of work done on my prelab for tomorrow's orgo lab (which I realized like only a couple days ago that I had to do it. xP)

Prayer meetings on Thursday are always huge. xP

Right after I went to MHS instead of Stats (this is because I am unable to go either tomorrow or Saturday and I really wanted to go) to see their fall production 'The Wave'. It has been adapted from a novel into a play and it was really well done. The casting was excellent and staging was really well done. The only minor fault was a couple little A/V things, but apparently it's because their main A/V guy has fallen ill and so they have had someone else step up and there haven't been enough practices for them, but by Saturday it'll be awesome. xP

Umm.

Ya...

I just heard some news. I'm not allowed to share it though. xP

Just watch this instead. xP



xP

Ttyl.

=D.Fa

PS. I forgot to say, I think my connections to MHS are dying and that soon I will stop attending things, but for this year at least I will continue supporting them. Perhaps I will go to all of their Musicals, but I may not... >.> It's not the way it used to be. I'm not in high school anymore.

Watch this:



"That's upsetting"

Ya. It is.

Slavery exists today. People all over the world are forced into it and even when freed sometimes they go back because they don't have anywhere to go, or anything to do. They need a real change in their lives.

It's about more than just physical slavery, but even emotional and spiritual slavery.

But definitely even just helping them escape their physical slavery is a start, but by eternal perspectives, if you didn't just change their lives permanently, was there much of a point..? Not to be a cynic, but if you could share the good news and have their lives completely changed, coming into the knowledge that God loves them no matter what has happened to them, that He died for them and still is calling them back to himself.

I got to talk to a guy today about this event and about how him and his club can get involved. LT was also there. lol. LT is really good at telling stories. >.> In any case it seemed like God was really there and that T(?) really was thinking about what we were saying. He's going to Turkey next semester though. lol... Whatever, it was really awesome talking with him. He said that he had been to church a couple times, his parents are Buddhist and that he couldn't believe everything we told him right then, but ya, we can still pray for him. xP I still have a possible three more meetings this week with leaders to talk about the event. Exciting. xP

This event is gonna be great. Raising awareness for human trafficking and the freedom God has offered us.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

I'm weak.

Yo, it's something that has really been on my mind for a while now. I am fed up with my pride and how I portray myself to others.

I put on this image of strength and confidence sometimes. I don't ask for help from others, I will struggle through it to the end, except sometimes I do ask for help from others, except it will often only be people that I think should know less than me, someone to just jump off of with my own thinking.

I don't like to admit it when I don't know something.

I don't like to be the one in the position of weakness.

I don't like to accept food when it is offered to me.

I don't like asking for things from others when I think that I can get it myself.

I wish that I were stronger, that everything that I do would be enough, that I was perfect, that I was great.

But the truth is I am weak. I am very weak.

Yesterday I was so tired that I fell asleep accidentally. I didn't time manage properly and didn't study enough on the weekend for my midterm yesterday morning, so instead of breakfast I crammed and biked to school. Instead of lunch, I crammed for my other midterm. I tried working hard on my biochem lab, but really I didn't want to and didn't end up doing much both because I was tired and hungry. I reluctantly accepted the meal that JXW's mother had made that she didn't want. Mmmmm goat/lamb. I didn't even thank her... I was thinking about how I could for so long that I guess I thought I did... Then I was at school just dead tired until like 8pm. I went home by bus since it was raining. Then I cooked dinner.

Before starting to work on my biochem lab I went downstairs to close my eyes for a minute. I woke up at 1:30... I went to the bathroom and I'm not entirely sure what happened, but the next minute I opened my eyes and I was in the bathtub... Assumably I fell over. I just don't remember anything between standing and the bathtub. My head didn't hit anything and my back doesn't really hurt and nothing moved that was in the bathtub or on the sides, so I don't know what happened... >.<

I went back to sleep and slept in...

So, today I ate breakfast and packed the leftovers from last night. I walked to school because I was late for something, but the other guy forgot too, so no problem...

I felt really bad about how I've been mistreating my body. Not eating, not sleeping, not even doing work efficiently... I can't keep this pace up on my own. Only three weeks left. I need to do my best and at the same time find a balance in life. Not just doing school work. Not just doing C4C things. Not just wasting time. I need to rely and trust in His plans and live up to them.

Gah. His love for us is so amazing and his strength is so great. I don't want to pretend to be someone else, but live in the reality of the matter. In my weakness God's greatness is made complete. He is the one who gives us strength and power to do more than we can imagine or comprehend. Living in this present-tense perspective is also not a good idea. He gives us the eternal life and ability to know him.

I want to be strong, but I don't want to pretend any longer that I'm not weak.

Ya.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

僕の家族

So, today I had driving lessons, started writing some blog posts, went to worship leader study and went to my parents' for my Dad's birthday dinner.

Cool day. I got to drive way more and on a bunch of different roads and with traffic too! I nearly ran a red light and a couple stop signs because I was too busy thinking how far above the speed limit was acceptable. lol...

I had a bagel and a carrot then bussed to church.

There may be an awesome Christmas concert at OCBC this December, which sounds sweet.

Ya, I really like being able to spend some time with my parents. I'm actually feeling a bit homesick this year. I can't wait until the Christmas break. I keep wanting to go back to that atmosphere of Christmas at my house. Like, my house during the year is one thing, but like, during Christmas it's cleaner and has this warm atmosphere all the time. I don't know. It's different and I miss it. xP......

I never really care about the presents I mean, my parents ask me to make a Christmas list and everything and submit it to them. In previous years it was like, last second go online and look at a list of video games that I'd never play because I just don't have time. This year I did something different. I kept a list on my phone the entire year and whenever I thought I wanted something or would really like something I wrote it down and it's a very untypical list compared to the other years.

There's actually two books on it. Legit yo.

So, ya. As much as I want the things on this list, I don't need them. I don't want them as much as I want to spend time with my family over the Christmas break. Seriously. There's nothing I want more than to see my family in eternity with us.

Ya. So I keep on praying and trusting in God for his timing and plans to come to fulfillment.

Ya. Ttyl.

D.Fa

PS. Philippines!

Psalm 130

A song of ascents.

1 Out of the depths I cry to you, LORD;
2 Lord, hear my voice.
Let your ears be attentive
to my cry for mercy.

3 If you, LORD, kept a record of sins,
Lord, who could stand?
4 But with you there is forgiveness,
so that we can, with reverence, serve you.

5 I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits,
and in his word I put my hope.
6 I wait for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.

7 Israel, put your hope in the LORD,
for with the LORD is unfailing love
and with him is full redemption.
8 He himself will redeem Israel
from all their sins.

Reflections on Job

Earlier in the morning I had read Job 7-9 and I thought there were some interesting things, but I had no time to think about it, so I read it over again as well as 10-14... lol.

I guess I always thought Job reacted differently. From what I've read so far he's in this huge debate with his friends about God and who he is. You see, satan kinda challenged God saying that Job only worships God because of all the blessings he has, so God tells satan that he's wrong and so God let's him take some stuff away from Job. His family, his house, his stuff, his health, etc. but not his life. I thought Job would always be like 'well, I have God, so I'm good', but I see him being human. He's having trouble dealing with it. He's thinking he would rather have never been born. He's pretty annoyed and he's being pretty dramatic too like 'If only my anguish could be weighed and all my misery placed on the scales! It would surely outweigh the sand of the seas!' But he also knows how great God is and how based on ourselves we can't approach him.

Job says all of the following in the book of Job in the Bible:

9:4-10 "His wisdom is profound, his power is vast... He moves mountains ... and over turns them ... He shakes the Earth from its place and makes its pillars tremble. He speaks to the sun and it does not shine; he seals off the light of the stars. He alone stretches out the heavens and treads on the waves of the sea. He is the Maker of the Bear and Orion, the Pleiades and the constellations of the south. He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted."

12:13,16 "To God belong wisdom and power; counsel and understanding are his... To him belong strength and victory"

9:19 "If it is a matter of strength, he is mighty! And if it is a matter of justice, who will summon him?"

12:10 "In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind."

10:8-12 "Your hands shaped me and made me... you molded me like clay... Did you not pour me out like milk and curdle me like cheese, clothe me with skin and flesh and knit me together with bones and sinews? You gave life and showed me kindness, and in your providence watched over my spirit."

7:17-20 "What is man that you make so much of him, that you give him so much attention, that you examine him every morning and test him every moment? Will you never look away from me, or let me alone for even an instant? If I have sinned, what have I done to you, O watcher of men?"

10:14-15 "If I sinned, you would be watching me and would not let my offense go unpunished. If I am guilty -- woe to me! Even if I am innocent, I cannot lift my head, for I am full of shame and aware of my affliction."

9:2 "can a man be righteous before God?"

9:32-35 "He is not a man like me that I might answer him, that we might confront each other in court. If only there were someone to arbitrate between us, to lay his hand upon us both, someone to remove God's rod from me, so that his terror would frighten me no more. Then I would speak up without fear of him, but as it now stands with me, I cannot.

14:15-17 "You will call and I will answer you; you will long for the creature your hands have made. Surely then you will count my steps but not keep track of my sin. My offense will be sealed up in a bag; you will cover over my sin."

I know I can relate to what he is saying. I struggled for a long time thinking that I needed to become more righteous before I could come before God and ask for forgiveness. I knew, to a degree, that the sin in my life was extensive. I knew that and thought that I needed to fight it. Fight it myself until the battle was nearly won then let Him destroy all that was left.

That was a losing battle with no chance of winning. I'd last a couple days longer and fail again. I'd last a week longer and fail again. I wasn't making any progress and instead it was just getting to me. I was feeling frustrated. I couldn't do it and it was so hard. I read once that 'you don't know how hard it is to be good until you really try' and it's true.

The thing is that we, in 2011, live in a different time than Job and his words say more than he thinks. I mean, what he has said has actually come to pass. He longs for an arbitrator that can help him approach God. Someone that can help him stand even in the knowledge of his past sins. Someone who can bridge the gap between sinful man and the perfect, holy, creator of the Universe, God.

And the difference is that we have that arbitrator. God's wrath has been diverted. Indeed, God does not let sin go unpunished, but instead had someone else pay for us. God sent his only begotten Son to us. God came and took on flesh. He came down to Earth and became fully man while remaining fully God. He had "days like those of a mortal [and] years like those of a man" (Job 10:5). He can fully relate with us and is God. And through his death on the cross the rod of God's wrath that was on us has been redirected. We can stand firm before God because of the hope we have in this life He has given us and the love He has shown for us. Through Jesus' resurrection we see God's victory over sin and death. God is calling out to us and giving us the choice to answer or turn away.

We still go through these struggles, battling intellectually the same way Job was, but we also have the next part of the story that hadn't been written at the time when Job was alive.

As Job's friend put it "if you devote your heart to him, and stretch out your hands to him, if you put away the sin in your hand and allow no evil to dwell in your tent, then you will lift up your face without shame; you will stand firm without fear. You will surely forget your trouble, recalling it only as waters gone by. Life will be brighter than noonday, and darkness will become like morning. You will be secure, because there is hope" (Job 11:13-18)

Jesus has taken my sin and covered me in his righteousness. By Him and Him alone can I stand firm before God knowing I have been forgiven. This hope, this undeserved grace, this love poured out upon us, it's all right there, the gift of God is being offered to each of us.

A late lunch

Hey guys!

Yesterday was pretty jam-packed with stuff. Phys Chem lecture, Discipleship meeting with LT, Discipleing with KC, organic chem lab, weekly meeting, and 'You had me at Bacon 2'. That is what was planned for yesterday and it mostly played out as expected, well I don't know. I didn't really expect some things either. lol

Phys chem. whatever. (lol... it's almost done. =P)

Now for Discipleship with LT I was supposed to have arranged something, sharing with a club leader or one of my friends or something. I was also supposed to have finished thinking about my goals for growing spiritually this year and starting to plan for how that can be done. I kinda lost the sheets and I didn't have time to work on it... So instead we just had a time of quiet reflection on a passage in the Bible. I read some of what I was reading earlier and it was so cool. I will post it in a separate post because it's pretty long. lol. [Click here! lol.] After that we talked about how we can reach out to clubs on campus and meet them where they are at. LT had talked to a leader of a humans rights club and he was really interested. Anyways, I sent facebook messages to the 'leaders' of M22 to see if we could meet up next week and discuss a collaborative event in January (the one about human trafficking) and they are all interested in meeting up, they are even going to talk to others and see if they want to meet up too. So, ya. I need to pray for those meetings and God working in their lives and me and LT sharing the gospel with four groups of possible like 1-6 people.

Next was a meeting with KC. I was a bit late, but it was a great meeting. KC seems really happy every time we meet. We read John 1 first (I had intended that we read 1 John 1, but this is cool too. We ended up reading 1 John later anyways. lol.) Then we went through the old-school version of the Spirit-filled life booklet. There is a lot of reading in that booklet, which is awesome. We read like a part of like half the books in the new testament. Our meeting was really great, but also a bit long. lol I had to run off to my orgo lab. I really want to see God strongly change KC and see him praying aloud with a passion.

The lab was really boring. lol. we dissolved cholesterone in ethanol then cooled it and filtered it.... lol.

I finally had my lunch at like 4:30 and watched Naruto and Shakugan no Shana 3 (which I am not telling NC about. lol.)

Then it was weekly meeting and we went through how to share again, but with more depth. Like, the Knowing God Personally booklets are cool, but they also leave a lot of room for elaboration and interactivity, so that was cool.

Then we went to RM's house for the C4C guys' night 'You had me at Bacon 2'. There was a lot of meat. lol. The chilli was awesome and the nachos were the best. lol. LT shared with us about what it means to be a man and how Jesus was not a feminine man. Authenticity, Servanthood and Initiative.

Then I got a drive home to go to sleep for 6 hours. xP

Ttyl.

D.Fa

Starting Somewhere

Yo. So. Did I tell you about yesterday..? I don't remember. It is doubtful... Actually I think I did..? Or maybe that was just a text message. >.>

Ya. It was a text. lol...

Wednesday wasn't the best.

I guess I realized again how prideful I am. I ended up selfishly trusting in my knowledge of phys chem and on the equation sheet I hadn't even really spent time on... I feel confident in my not so great mark on that midterm. ya. I was feeling really crummy the rest of the day I think, except that I got to play badminton with SC and JJ eventually/breifly. xP Ya. SC says I'm way better in front when I'm mad at phys chem. >.> My whole body is sore from yesterday. xP

Umm. I didn't do much. I think I met JXW's Malaysian biochem lab partner. I couldn't quite guess which ethnicity he was... I had narrowed it down to Hong Kong or Korean, but I wasn't really confident in that guess. It was mainly his accent and face that pointed me to Hong Kong. I realized afterwards that basically every Malaysian I know has been in Canada for a very long time and goes to my church.

I ended up leading a prayer meeting. RM kinda trained me..? I have some papers to read over, but ya, we prayed for Cambodia. MM and his family are over there right now working with Mercy Medical Center and New Life Fellowship and they are seeing God do great things.

Ya. So yesterday night I did some work on my biochem lab, well actually I stayed up until 3am doing it. This was after going to my parent's and buying groceries and talking to JH. I'm praying for him. My housemates enjoy talking a lot. Often about things I don't talk about. Seriously DK..? >.<

Ya. I figured it was a way better idea to work on my lab before today rather than not. At the same time, I know that I cannot wake up early, so I decided that since CW wakes up at 8:15 I would stay awake working on it until 3 and a bit so that I get 5 hours, not more, and then get back to it before class at 10. The plan worked pretty well.

Ethers are fun to learn about. xP. Then I finished up my lab with JXW. AG wasn't feeling well today so our language exchange meeting was postponed. Today was our last biochem lab, which is sad because I haven't had much time to speak with TZ and that's like the only place I see him. The prayer meeting was awesome. So many people praying to see God work on campus and for the students to realize that God loves them and is calling them back to him. Stats was ok. I met this one guy and we talked on the bus ride home, which was cool.

JS convinced me to go to YA and I got to see RL! Yay! I miss him... text conversations leave something to be desired when you haven't seen someone for a long time.

Ummm. So ya. This morning I stumbled briefly on a bit of sin, but I was so set on sharing the gospel with JXW today that I was like 'screw you sin. you can't hold me down.' and I just asked God to forgive me and that was that. Through Jesus we have been freed from our slavery to sin. In him we have victory over sin and death. If that is what Spiritual breathing is, then I want to keep feeling this victory over sin.

Umm. Ya. Two events in the near future. The first being Story of the Soul: Hope, which I am super excited for. During the prayer meeting we decided that we want to see at least 60 people at the event and 5 people come to Christ through the event and follow-up. This isn't something we can decide, bad phrasing, but we are placing our trust in God to do great things. I also had this vision that I'd be like, inviting a lot of people. Between classes just talking up some people and inviting them, webCT messages, texts, in person, a lot of invites.

Secondly, the date has finally been decided on the sushi event that has been brewing for a week and a bit. Nov 26th we will be having sushi. I don't know how many people will be coming though, but you have to start somewhere.

Anyways, Ttyl!

D.Fa

Organic, Physical and Bio-

So, it's nearly Wednesday... I guess the week disappeared. lol

Monday was all about my Phys chem lab. All morning working so hard to finish that on time. Then I had a lab, prayer meeting, a break and then we got ready to go to Dundas for a pizza outreach.

There were six of us going, so we met in Oasis and prayed. You see, as part of my DG we take turns organizing and implementing an outreach. This week MW planned to go onto DB's floor in res and have pizza, have open conversation, a game or two and build friendships from there. I personally had thought that MW is kinda, like, focusing only on DB as our main first year guy. Whenever he does this I think that he's like ignoring the other guys, SM, JS, MC, etc. I think I'm not fully loving of MW. It's really cool that he's taking the initiative and building into DB so much though.

Anyways, there were a lot of people. We knocked (politely) on people's doors and when told there was free pizza they positively and in an interested tone asked 'seriously?' There were a lot of girls. We only realized that we hadn't asked any C4C girls to come with us as of, like, 30 minutes before the outreach. xP...

It was cool. We had 5 pizzas. We played mafia and some people told some stories. LT basically told the prodigal son story, but it was actually the true story of this girl he knew, what was her name again..? Burnadette? Nope. Anne. Sure, that's easier to say! lol (He didn't know. Those were the names suggested). Yup.

I'm looking forward to 'Story of the Soul: Hope' next Friday night.

Anyways, I got home from the party and had to study for my midterm in organic chemistry this morning. TJN and I studied late into the night. It was actually the first time I had seen some of the material... I missed one lecture and it was a pretty important one. >.>

This morning CW's alarm went off at 7:16. It's just the radio, but he listens to the radio really loudly, so either I wake up or lie in bed with my hands full pressure over my ears to block the noise, which is no way to sleep.

Oh! I had a dream. NM was in my dream. I was at some Banjo and Kazooie convention of some sort (mainly playing levels that don't actually exist, but that I've played in dreams before) and NM and his girlfriend show up and of course we have a giant hug and he's smiling that ridiculous smile as always. That's as much as I remember, well there was also this part about a music note I couldn't find in one level, but that's unimportant. I miss NM... He was like the first guy I met in Vancouver before going to East Asia. He has this crazy haircut that's like really long on one side of his head and short on the other. He also has rainbow shorts that are shorter than his boxers. lol..... We ran together once during Orientation.

Anyways, ya. I went to school early. TJN had invited me to audit his stats class and study for orgo. Yep. I learned a lot in that hour and a half. I'm pretty sure I aced the test.

Then I managed to get a good deal of my Biochem lab done. Then I had a bio lab and got a plant! lol. We were cutting them up last week, but now we aren't so our lab coordinator was giving them away. I have this deep set idea that my lab coordinator was the teacher for my plant bio mini program in grade 8... I don't know. maybe. I really like plants. xP.

Then I got some work done on my discussion for the Biochem lab, prayer meeting, stats class, train and bus home, massive amount of rice and one piece, Fun with Dick and Jane (which brought back good memories with my brother), and now I continue to procrastinate instead of studying for my physical chemistry midterm tomorrow. >.<

Ttyl.

D.Fa