Christmas Games

Hey guys!

Merry Christmas!

I would have blogged last night, but I was a bit busy working on my presents for my friend SC as well as wrapping the gifts for my family, not that they were huge or anything, but that there were a lot of really small stupid / funny things. lol.

I guess I realized that not working really does limit my ability to buy, so I needed to make or plan something outside the box (lol. you'll figure it out). I actually ended up spending only money that I had found while cleaning my parents' house, which was actually quite a bit. lol

So, the main thing that I did this year that was funny, was that the majority of my gufts for my family were all in the same boxes. lol. The same, like, 3x3x3inch cube. lol And I made it into a tree. lol. (impossible to have a tree made of boxes like that with only one layer for the trunk...)

Ya, so I stayed up until 2am Christmas eve and I didn't even have time to say much more than "Merry Christmas to my East Asian friends. >.>

Ya.

Today was good. Service was a bit long, but there were so many people and it's encouraging. xP. My mom came and NC sat with me. I love him. He's really funny.

It was actually really snowy this morning. A White Christmas! =D Yup!

We opened the presents and everything. It was good. xP. My family is funny. I actually like most of the clothes I got this year, actually pretty much all of it. (I really don't need more crew cut socks though... I have like 3 bundles with my storage stuff at my house and I got another bundle of grey, white and thermal socks... So many. lol) I don't intend on bragging about presents. I don't deserve all of this. I'm actually already thinking of how I can give the things I don't need to those who do.

It was really odd. lol. Usually it's just like a copy of our Christmas lists. This year, not at all. lol. Mainly since they didn't really exist as materialistically as usually. It's a weird frustrating kind of feeling. Normally I'd be hours into a new video game by now, but I only got two and I can't actually play either of them. One was for the 3DS, which I don't have (Oops, I asked for that game. lol) and the other needs Wii Motion Plus. xP

Then the worst part by far was dinner. (I don't mean the dinner. It was delicious. xP) It was me. I'm avoiding the conversation with my parents about this summer. I had the perfect opportunity to speak to them about it and I didn't take it, I started doing anything else I could......... I've already pushed it off until today, and now tomorrow is like my last chance. It's like I'm scared because I know that if they say they'd prefer me to work this summer, I will because I don't want to go against them. I want to honor my parents. But I really want to go to East Asia. I'm practically breaking out crying over this. Is this a restrained tantrum..? I know God can and will use me wherever I end up, but I want to go back to Asia with all my heart. But is that just the easy way out?

Stupid unrest spirit. I feel like it's the worst thing in the world if I end up working this summer... >.> Am I being over dramatic..? I want to yell.

"I want"

I want my plans, my desires, my thoughts and life to reflect those of God. My plans being the ones God has laid out before creation. My desires in line with God's. My thoughts things of heaven. My life one in full submission and voluntarily used to serve the one who came to serve us.

>.<

D.Fa