So, ya.
Today was really ... idk... I woke up 3 hours later than I wanted to after having on and off really fun dreams that I now do not remember, watching Bleach and Pokemon with fried rice and ice cream, I sinned, then I worked from 12-6 in produce and now I am here.
I was super really depressed all day and BJ kept telling me I was acting weird. I was thinking a lot about a lot of stuff, like how I am using my busy schedule as an excuse to not spend time with God and how I should then take advantage of this schedule to schedule in time for God (although I realize this is clearly not supposed to compartmentalise God into an hour here or there). Then I realized that that is one purpose of YA. YA is a couple hours where the number 1 top priority is to study God's word and fellowship with other brothers/sisters and all that good stuff. So, ya. YA has a new meaning to me, but at the same time, there is no YA right now (cuz everybody diffused across the country... >.> I mean BC, Yukon, Nova Scotia, Toronto, Calgary, etc.)
At 5 or so I started doing production in the backroom, so I turned on the radio to CHRI and ya. I quickly stopped being so depressed. "That's What Faith Can Do" "Our God" and other songs made me think other stuff and I was singing out loud (except when people walked by... xP). xP Then there was this song that was really really cool. So I wrote the name of the song on my hand. It was "What Love Really Means" by JJ Heller.
That is the MV, which is also pretty cool while being very simple.
Anyways, BJ left and will not be working until after Christmas because she is going home for Christmas and I won't be back until January 1st and I may not be working very much after that..... so it was basically like the last time I will see her until next year and I was being such a loser all day.... So on the way home I text apologized. xP but in 1000 characters... >.> Also her name has been changed to my standardized blog initials:
"Hey BJ. I'm sorry for how I was acting today. I was just really depressed/angry at myself for being a sinner and I really shouldn't have been acting that way. Especially now at Christmas time I should know better. I just havn't been really acting the way I should, I havn't really been reading or praying or spending time with God or anything and its really my fault. For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotton son that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send his son into the world to condemn it, but to save it. And God's love is unconditional. It doesn't matter what you've done or who you will become. God sent his son to pay for our sins and bridge the gap between us and God so that we could have a personal relationship with Him because there's nothing we could ever do to earn our way to heaven by ourselves or our own effort. It's by faith alone that we can stand unashamed.
So, ya. I'm sorry. XP. Merry Chistmas. XP"
I was laughing about the sudden ending because of the 1000 characters. That's waht the xP's at the end are for. xP I meant to say sorry for being such a loser in the last few hours she'll see me, but it wouldn't fit. xP
Ya. Christmas is when Jesus was born in a manger in Bethlehem. 33 years or so later he died for our sins becuase he had none of his own and because he was God and because he loved us. All of our sins were in the future at the time, but God is above time.
I'm just rambling now. xP.... I will not watch anymore anime until I read 50 psalms because that is how many I should have read before having watched all the anime I've watched this week. Anime has taken a high priority in my life again and clearly the reprecusions are pretty bad. It's idolatry basically. So, ya..... I was thinking that I should swap God for anime, but then I was trying to apply that in my head and was like "Oh, I'm bored. I should watch anime." "Oh! There's a new episode of One Piece! I need to watch it as soon as possible!" But trying to swap thos situations and I realize that there's never a new chapter in the Bible so I can't really swap that, but then I realized I havn't finished reading all of it soooo.... there are still some new chapters... xP Buuuut I will be reading them all in the next year, so ya. *rolls eyes*
Ttyl. xP
=D.Fa
PS. I was thinking of 2 Timothy 3:16 "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness". Training in righteousness is what I need right now. Clearly that is because I havn't been reading my Bible very much / not remembering memory verses. Also Psalm 199:11 "I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you" that applies to my lack of memory verses..?
Point: I know I need to spend time with God, with his word, praying to him, singing his praises, etc. He has provided us his word, he has provided us redemption, he listens to our prayers, he gives this all as a free gift to us through his son who paid the price once and for all that all have the option to have a relationship with Him.
I'm really bad at getting a point across. xP
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