His Name is Jesus

Ok. Honestly, right now, if I liked beer at all, I would probably have a hangover.

You see, last night was poker night at CW's house. It started at 7:30 and Everyone left around midnight. There were only 3 games in that time. The first game with 6 people took like 2 hours. Another game with like 4 people started about halfway into the first game on a second table and ended before the first game did. The third game was 10 people and ended around 11:50ish.

I don't really care about poker. I don't play very often and I don't ever expect to win, but I will play almost every hand. Like, even a bad hand could win if everyone else's hands are terrible. Since it was a game with no money involved, whenever I had a pile of chips I'd usually just throw more chips in everytime I could. Make the game go a bit faster, make it a bit more interesting. By doing this on a hand of two queens, I thought I had lost a thousand or so, but someone pointed out I actually had a flush, so I won a large pile of chips.

The blinds kept going up and I slowly lost because I don't fold very much.

The reason that I would have gotten drunk is a combination of the presence of beer / wine combined with my current attitude. I was kinda depressed because I had sinned earlier. Like, if you can shift the blame off of you, you don't feel as bad, but it was all my fault, I barley fought it and I failed Him again.

When I sin, sure I'll pray right away afterwards, but ideally I will pray before I give in completely and instead walk past the temptation. I know I can't hide my sins or inequities from Him, but yet I still act that way. I say I'm sorry, but then I kinda ignore him while feeling guilty...

On top of this guilt I was also kinda getting really angry at how slow the game was going. AL [a different one.] thought I was really serious. No, I was just not yelling. Instead I was trying to hide how angry I was. People were drinking, not paying attention to the game, eating, getting the pizza out of the oven, talking to their parents on the phone, playing music loudly and changing the songs. Everyone left the table many multiple times for various reasons and AL thinks too much about every move.

It's just a game. It should be fun. I think beer tastes really bad, so I didn't drink more than a couple sips.

I got home at like 1:00 and went to sleep.

I had a dream of some sort, but the only part I still remember is being in a computer lab and singing "His name is Jesus, precious Jesus" quietly out loud. The lyrics are from King of Glory by Third Day.



So, ya. I will attempt to play that song on guitar later after I study for Chem.

D.Fa