19.11.10

Response

I have recently been shown how blogging because "you have to" produces unsatisfactory posts. This may be one of them. You cannot post an in depth post, which clearly states what you think when you are trying to compose it between classes or in a couple spare minutes.

Sometimes I end up not fully explaining my thoughts, or not being clear enough with context or other seemingly important information. I also sometimes blog as though you know everything I am talking about.

I also admit that I have problems with pride sometimes.

Don't listen to your feelings. Trust in and have faith in the truths that have been revealed in Jesus and the Bible.

I fail so much. Honestly. And yet I still have this stupid pride.

Also, I don't really think about things or have a purpose for what I am doing. Yesterday I was asked "Why do you go to YA?" and I really had nothing to say. All I know is that I like YA and 7-10 Thursday night YA is more important to me than almost anything. I don't think about why I am going, but I want to.

Is it really pride..? What if I genuenly want to help out in any way I can if someone needs help..? Is it about pleasing people..?

A number of people have said a number of very significant statements to me recently (usually through email or other textual media) and I really don't know how to think about it or what to do about it.

I feel really bad about not being able to help out. I feel really bad about having blogged certain comments with implications I did not intend. I feel like I am a terrible role model for KC.

.................................

O heavenly Father, you are perfect and powerful and mighty and can do absolutely everything. I am not. You are just and faithful and above all creation. I am not. Lord, you took away my sin, you paid for them all. While we were still your enemies, while I was still unborn, you died on the cross for my sins and the sins of the whole world forever because you loved us so. This unconditional, unending, unimaginable love you possess is indescribably amazing. Lord, I have fallen to sinful actions and sinful attitudes. I'm sorry for feeling that I should be better than KC. All of us, your children, are all equal in your sight. Lord, I'm sorry. I know that when we confess our sins to you, you forgive us and purify us from all unrighteousness. Lord reveal to me all my sin that I can confess them. Lord, I don't live the way I should. Lord, help me rely in your strength and power and not my own because I will fail on my own. Lord, I need a new attitude.

Help me.

.................................

D.Fa

1 comment:

  1. Thanks Dylan.

    I think that last night showed all of us that we need a new attitude.
    I definetly do. I have been a terrible Y.A. leader. I couldn't sleep last night because I was thinking of what I needed to do right, what would 'fix' our Y.A. Then I realized that I wasn't even trusting God. I wasn't even asking Him what he would have me do. I wasn't even praying for our Y.A. group.

    I'm sorry Dylan.

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