Yo.
Lately I've been so bored. Not that there aren't things to do. I think in some ways I am not doing the things I probably should be; procrastinating in a way. But then the things I do end up doing, which don't really seem significantly positive or negative in the grand scheme of things, they just seem, flat? dull? boring? meaningless?
Lately anything other than something that directly relates to my relationship with God, or serving Him in some way, or helping others know Him better; they seem pointless.
Sleeping in.
Watching television.
Playing video games.
Cleaning.
Yard work.
Course registration.
I don't know. Pretty much everything.
It seems pointless.
Even the things that the sinful body of mine desires, they seem pointless intellectually. I won't say I haven't been tempted to thin or act certain ways, but it seems pointless.
And I know I could be using the time God has given me to do more or better things than the amount of lying around doing nothing or playing cell phone games. I need goals. I need purpose. I need more than these things.
I don't know.
This is probably part of why it becomes so easy for me to end up doing a lot of things for God, but forgetting to spend time with Him. I feel the need to be doing something and think that sitting around not doing something is wasteful. May I see more and more the power of 'not doing things' through resting in God and prayer that He would continue to work and work in bigger ways.
D.Fa
15.6.15
Baby Geese
Yo,
yesterday was pretty busy. I was out of the house literally from 9 am to midnight. I had decided to join the Ottawa Christian Chorale for this season, so I had practice for that, followed by worship team practice, assisting a bit with Westfest (an annual neighborhood event in westboro) stuff at church, YA, and street marshaling for Westfest. So it was a busy day, but fun.
1. I am not a tenor. E's I am good with. F's sometimes. F#'s... G............ G# (o. O). A? Please no. So I need to learn how to sing in falsetto, or not sing the tenor parts for some songs. (Otherwise OCC was tons of fun! =D)
2. I biked to and from all of those things. On the way to worship practice I biked along the river and ran into a pack of geese who had a bunch of baby geese! So I had to stop and play with them. I ended up following a couple of the babies that had been separated and caught one when he got stuck on a fence. I held him and pet him. He was very fluffy. (sorry no photos) So I tried again, but I couldn't manage to get the babies away from the parents. They were very protective.
As I mentioned the day before, I think discipleship is one thing that the church really needs more of. Not just my church, but quite a few (I can't comment on all of them to any degree). When I say discipleship I mean more mature Christians kinda mentoring and spending time with younger Christians to help them grow in their faith. And the thing here is that this is what Jesus calls us to! The great commission (Matt28:18-20) isn't to go and tell everyone about Jesus and then leave them hanging. Jesus says to go to all nations and make disciples, people who follow Jesus and grow in their relationship with Him. Paul calls the church at Philippi to follow after examples of godly men and women, and calls the church at Corinth to follow after him as he follows after Jesus' example. And further in the great commission Jesus calls us to teach these disciples to obey everything that God has commanded. And here we see the example set by Paul in 2Tim2:2 as he had trained Timothy who was then to train other reliable men who would be qualified to train others. We see a chain of discipleship, unbroken between generation, age, race, or any other divisions. As Paul explains in Eph2 God has broken down the divisions and made out of two (Jew and Gentile) one church, unified in Him; and again in Rom12 he speaks of the body of Christ being unified yet diversified, each with the different skills and abilities to build up the church.
Discipleship; a chain of disciples following and being further trained by more mature godly men or women as they all follow Jesus.
And discipleship, which I think is so great and the heart of the church, is one thing which I think definitely cannot be offered through parachurch. P2C for example, is a group of students at university. Essentially all in the same phase of their lives, mostly going through the same trials and temptations. Some may have grown up in church and came to truly trust in Jesus earlier, but even they don't have all that much to teach if they themselves are not also growing and being discipled by older men and women. There are some staff members, but they are often not too much older, and are kinda in the same phase of their lives. Additionally, parachurch is typically focused on one thing, and in P2C's case that would be training in evangelism, not so much in deeper bible study or other areas of life.
I had been reading a small book called "The Master Plan of Evangelism" by Robert E. Coleman. The book is all about looking at how Jesus did His ministry and the core concepts we can learn and apply. The second chapter was on 'Association'. Jesus spent time with his disciples. He spent His life teaching and ministering to them so that when He left (bodily) they'd be good to lead the church. The chapter emphasizes the need for this association, without which a new believer may not really grow in their faith and may be swayed by the world and the enemy. And as funny as this may sound, the geese from yesterday morning kinda provide an analogy.
The geese, now mature, protect their babies from any potential threats while also teaching them how to survive and helping them grow. In the analogy I am the enemy coming to swoop down on the unsuspecting poor helpless little geese. But afterwards I had no way to get at them, especially when they stood together in a group in unity.
Thus should the church be; building up, protecting, teaching and caring for their young.
So I will continue to talk about and pray for the church and for God to really help establish a core of discipleship which would cause stronger community, deeper faith, and greater holiness (and Christ-likeness) in the church.
D.Fa
yesterday was pretty busy. I was out of the house literally from 9 am to midnight. I had decided to join the Ottawa Christian Chorale for this season, so I had practice for that, followed by worship team practice, assisting a bit with Westfest (an annual neighborhood event in westboro) stuff at church, YA, and street marshaling for Westfest. So it was a busy day, but fun.
1. I am not a tenor. E's I am good with. F's sometimes. F#'s... G............ G# (o. O). A? Please no. So I need to learn how to sing in falsetto, or not sing the tenor parts for some songs. (Otherwise OCC was tons of fun! =D)
2. I biked to and from all of those things. On the way to worship practice I biked along the river and ran into a pack of geese who had a bunch of baby geese! So I had to stop and play with them. I ended up following a couple of the babies that had been separated and caught one when he got stuck on a fence. I held him and pet him. He was very fluffy. (sorry no photos) So I tried again, but I couldn't manage to get the babies away from the parents. They were very protective.
As I mentioned the day before, I think discipleship is one thing that the church really needs more of. Not just my church, but quite a few (I can't comment on all of them to any degree). When I say discipleship I mean more mature Christians kinda mentoring and spending time with younger Christians to help them grow in their faith. And the thing here is that this is what Jesus calls us to! The great commission (Matt28:18-20) isn't to go and tell everyone about Jesus and then leave them hanging. Jesus says to go to all nations and make disciples, people who follow Jesus and grow in their relationship with Him. Paul calls the church at Philippi to follow after examples of godly men and women, and calls the church at Corinth to follow after him as he follows after Jesus' example. And further in the great commission Jesus calls us to teach these disciples to obey everything that God has commanded. And here we see the example set by Paul in 2Tim2:2 as he had trained Timothy who was then to train other reliable men who would be qualified to train others. We see a chain of discipleship, unbroken between generation, age, race, or any other divisions. As Paul explains in Eph2 God has broken down the divisions and made out of two (Jew and Gentile) one church, unified in Him; and again in Rom12 he speaks of the body of Christ being unified yet diversified, each with the different skills and abilities to build up the church.
Discipleship; a chain of disciples following and being further trained by more mature godly men or women as they all follow Jesus.
And discipleship, which I think is so great and the heart of the church, is one thing which I think definitely cannot be offered through parachurch. P2C for example, is a group of students at university. Essentially all in the same phase of their lives, mostly going through the same trials and temptations. Some may have grown up in church and came to truly trust in Jesus earlier, but even they don't have all that much to teach if they themselves are not also growing and being discipled by older men and women. There are some staff members, but they are often not too much older, and are kinda in the same phase of their lives. Additionally, parachurch is typically focused on one thing, and in P2C's case that would be training in evangelism, not so much in deeper bible study or other areas of life.
I had been reading a small book called "The Master Plan of Evangelism" by Robert E. Coleman. The book is all about looking at how Jesus did His ministry and the core concepts we can learn and apply. The second chapter was on 'Association'. Jesus spent time with his disciples. He spent His life teaching and ministering to them so that when He left (bodily) they'd be good to lead the church. The chapter emphasizes the need for this association, without which a new believer may not really grow in their faith and may be swayed by the world and the enemy. And as funny as this may sound, the geese from yesterday morning kinda provide an analogy.
The geese, now mature, protect their babies from any potential threats while also teaching them how to survive and helping them grow. In the analogy I am the enemy coming to swoop down on the unsuspecting poor helpless little geese. But afterwards I had no way to get at them, especially when they stood together in a group in unity.
Thus should the church be; building up, protecting, teaching and caring for their young.
So I will continue to talk about and pray for the church and for God to really help establish a core of discipleship which would cause stronger community, deeper faith, and greater holiness (and Christ-likeness) in the church.
D.Fa
12.6.15
It Can Be Simple.
Yo.
Lately I've been thinking a bit about what it means for an organization or group or ministry to be 'parachurch' and how the parachurch should be working hand-in-hand with the Church.
I tend to meet two kinds of people: those who love parachurch organizations, have seen their greatest moments while part of them, and have seen God do amazing things through them and so they want to invest all of their time into it, often at the expense of being actively involved in a local church; and those who have seen parachurch groups lose sight of their partnership with the local church and as such these persons have decided to be involved solely in local churches to the extent of being wary of such organizations and keeping others from involvement.
And I don't have an answer per se as to how a parachurch group should work, or how the church should work. I do need to read up a bit more on this. However, from what I know and from the times I've spent as part of a seminary course on the book of Acts (the early church and Paul's work), I know that they should be working hand-in-hand. Often Paul's small missionary team is called a parachurch group. The way I've seen parachurch defined is that it is not the church in that it is focused to a specific task or peoples, but made up of people from the Church, and when done best seeks to support the mission of the Church in whatever means of evangelism, discipleship, or training. A campus ministry, a bible study group, a seminary; each fits into this category.
The question of how the two can work together is at the front of my mind since I've been so stuck between the two groups of people and have kind of flip-flopped between primarily being involved in parachurch or church 'activities' and trying to unify the two groups of people, but not really knowing how to do it.
I had recently talked to a friend of mine who is a staff member with Power to Change (P2C), a campus ministry in Canada and around the world under different names. I asked her, and asked specifically about how she sees it since I knew that she, herself, had not been so actively involved in both while in university. The way she answered was golden, and makes me love God, her, the church, and parachurch all the more. I will now attempt to paraphrase. The way she sees it P2C exists solely to help Christian students grow in evangelism and bringing the gospel to other students while in university. While doing that, to be encouraging active participation in the local church and preparing them to be so for the rest of their lives. The way she sees it P2C (or any parachurch for that matter) should not be trying to do 'church' things which would compete, such as deeper bible studies, sermons, worship services, generic fellowship, life discipleship, etc., but to do what it is called to do; in P2C's case, evangelism training, evangelism, and prayer for the gospel to reach ears that will hear, and nothing more. There isn't time in the life of a full-time student for 20 hours of overlapping content from both parachurch and church, in such cases a student will choose one or the other. To do so all of P2C's stuff would be concise and to the point allowing the students to best be a part of their churches and live as part of the family of God.
When things go like that, she tells me that students are actively involved in sharing their faith, are meaningfully involved in local churches, local churches suggest people to participate in the parachurch ministries while in school, it isn't a burden on anyone, and people are coming to know Jesus! So good.
I also asked then how new believers would be discipled. She replied that they would probably have a short 5 week or so basic lessons on the gospel and our life in Jesus, but in everything to direct them to a local church. I also asked about the desire for community in the parachurch groups. She said community around the mission is great, but that the real deep communities would be in the churches and as such, the students can have fellowship and stuff, it just wouldn't be a P2C event. If they wanted to have worship before a prayer meeting, great! That's a prayer meeting. haha
My desire is to see that day in Ottawa. To see the local churches and parachurch ministries on campus to work together, not against each other. And I think we've been seeing it go in that direction this year. Discipleship groups, acting more as 'action groups' where they learn how to share their faith and then go and afterwards they can do other stuff on their time. Weekly meetings focused around sharing Jesus with others, not on throwing a church service. Students involved at their churches, going on missions, living life together, and in everything lifting up Jesus.
So good.
I want to pray for that and I want to be a catalyst on both sides (church and P2C) to help communicate and work together for the sake of the gospel and good news of Christ going to all. May students be encouraged to share their faith, may they be encouraged to live their life in the body of believers, the church, may they seek after His kingdom and righteousness in everything, may God be glorified through His Church. Amen!
But what do we university students really need more from our church? I think discipleship is the thing. I'll talk more about this tomorrow.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
Lately I've been thinking a bit about what it means for an organization or group or ministry to be 'parachurch' and how the parachurch should be working hand-in-hand with the Church.
I tend to meet two kinds of people: those who love parachurch organizations, have seen their greatest moments while part of them, and have seen God do amazing things through them and so they want to invest all of their time into it, often at the expense of being actively involved in a local church; and those who have seen parachurch groups lose sight of their partnership with the local church and as such these persons have decided to be involved solely in local churches to the extent of being wary of such organizations and keeping others from involvement.
And I don't have an answer per se as to how a parachurch group should work, or how the church should work. I do need to read up a bit more on this. However, from what I know and from the times I've spent as part of a seminary course on the book of Acts (the early church and Paul's work), I know that they should be working hand-in-hand. Often Paul's small missionary team is called a parachurch group. The way I've seen parachurch defined is that it is not the church in that it is focused to a specific task or peoples, but made up of people from the Church, and when done best seeks to support the mission of the Church in whatever means of evangelism, discipleship, or training. A campus ministry, a bible study group, a seminary; each fits into this category.
The question of how the two can work together is at the front of my mind since I've been so stuck between the two groups of people and have kind of flip-flopped between primarily being involved in parachurch or church 'activities' and trying to unify the two groups of people, but not really knowing how to do it.
I had recently talked to a friend of mine who is a staff member with Power to Change (P2C), a campus ministry in Canada and around the world under different names. I asked her, and asked specifically about how she sees it since I knew that she, herself, had not been so actively involved in both while in university. The way she answered was golden, and makes me love God, her, the church, and parachurch all the more. I will now attempt to paraphrase. The way she sees it P2C exists solely to help Christian students grow in evangelism and bringing the gospel to other students while in university. While doing that, to be encouraging active participation in the local church and preparing them to be so for the rest of their lives. The way she sees it P2C (or any parachurch for that matter) should not be trying to do 'church' things which would compete, such as deeper bible studies, sermons, worship services, generic fellowship, life discipleship, etc., but to do what it is called to do; in P2C's case, evangelism training, evangelism, and prayer for the gospel to reach ears that will hear, and nothing more. There isn't time in the life of a full-time student for 20 hours of overlapping content from both parachurch and church, in such cases a student will choose one or the other. To do so all of P2C's stuff would be concise and to the point allowing the students to best be a part of their churches and live as part of the family of God.
When things go like that, she tells me that students are actively involved in sharing their faith, are meaningfully involved in local churches, local churches suggest people to participate in the parachurch ministries while in school, it isn't a burden on anyone, and people are coming to know Jesus! So good.
I also asked then how new believers would be discipled. She replied that they would probably have a short 5 week or so basic lessons on the gospel and our life in Jesus, but in everything to direct them to a local church. I also asked about the desire for community in the parachurch groups. She said community around the mission is great, but that the real deep communities would be in the churches and as such, the students can have fellowship and stuff, it just wouldn't be a P2C event. If they wanted to have worship before a prayer meeting, great! That's a prayer meeting. haha
My desire is to see that day in Ottawa. To see the local churches and parachurch ministries on campus to work together, not against each other. And I think we've been seeing it go in that direction this year. Discipleship groups, acting more as 'action groups' where they learn how to share their faith and then go and afterwards they can do other stuff on their time. Weekly meetings focused around sharing Jesus with others, not on throwing a church service. Students involved at their churches, going on missions, living life together, and in everything lifting up Jesus.
So good.
I want to pray for that and I want to be a catalyst on both sides (church and P2C) to help communicate and work together for the sake of the gospel and good news of Christ going to all. May students be encouraged to share their faith, may they be encouraged to live their life in the body of believers, the church, may they seek after His kingdom and righteousness in everything, may God be glorified through His Church. Amen!
But what do we university students really need more from our church? I think discipleship is the thing. I'll talk more about this tomorrow.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
21.5.15
Bitter isn't Bad.
Hey guys,
Since I don't have an official job for the summer my dad has made a list of things I can do around the house. This includes going through our storage spaces and getting rid of anything we don't need; completely painting a redoing a room; as well as normal regular maintenance. One such thing is mowing the lawns in front and back yards regularly.
It's mostly dandelions in our backyard, but upon a quick scan I saw a small flowering bush which we used to have. They call it the 'Bleeding hearts' bush because of the shape of the flowers. And if I mowed, they would be dead for a year at least for sure. So I purposed to save them.
When I thought of that I wondered how many other types of plants there were in the backyard and started to compile a list. I also found some plants which were unexpected and have yet to find some that were expected. Felt like a true adventurer after all the work digging and exploring. Still more to do, but I think I have located about 25 species of plants back here.
I really expected to find some chives since we used to have a planter with lots of them. Haven't found that yet. However, I found a patch of large mint plants and what I think is parsley (tbd). So I started to wonder a bit about what things were and what was edible and did some Internet research. Last night I had a 'foraged' dandelion and mint salad with berries, coconut oil, and almonds.
One website I looked at spoke about how it used to be that people considered there to be a 'good bitter' and a 'bad bitter'. Although dandelion is bitter, it is fully edible and rich in vitamins to help us grow. When I was growing up though, I'm pretty sure us kids thought it was poisonous and everyone is always trying to get rid of them.
And I think this is how we usually approach difficulty or hardship in our lives. We try to avoid it, we try to remove it. But ultimately it is there to grow our character, as well as our hope.
Yesterday I also got to meet up with a buddy of mine as well as a sister in Christ and it was a pleasure of both my buddy and myself to hear of her joy in Jesus even through the difficulty of depression or anxiety. Although they are difficult situations and she wishes it was gone, she delights in the small victories and ways God provides, as well as looking forward to the hope we have in Jesus. As it says in Rev21:1-5: "Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." And he who was seated on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new." Also he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.""
Especially the words of verses 4 and 5, God will remove every tear, death, pain, and suffering; He will make us and everything new. That is our hope! That although sin has caused pain and difficulty now, through Jesus and trusting in what He has done at the cross, we have been forgiven, adopted as God's children, and awaiting the day when all things will be made new again, free from that pain and sin's grip of destruction.
But even through that difficulty God provides and helps us trust in this ultimate ending! For now is but a light and momentary affliction which is incomparable to the glory that will be revealed in Jesus.
Rom5:3-5; Rom8:18-25.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
15.5.15
Changing Gears
The other day I was talking with a good brother of mine and I think he said something very simple, but very profound: "is there any progress at all?"
I had been somewhat complaining to him about how deep I feel the depths of sin in my heart and mind are, that even now it sometimes feels like there's nothing but wrong on my mind. But he asked if there was any progress. He admitted it wasn't something that was easily quantifiable and is more of a long term process, but further clarified:
The idea of switching gears had always seemed kinda dumb to me.
When you switch to a lower gear you can't go as fast. If there is a hill, you'll spend more time on it barely moving. But when you switch to a lower gear it is easier to pedal uphill. Although you end up going a little slower, sometimes a lot slower, you are making progress! And at the top of the hill you will not have been so out of breath and wouldn't have had to walk to bike up the hill.
I live on a hill, so every time I bike I need to go up a hill. haha.
But in our lives with Christ, there will be hills, there will be mountains even. But by the Holy Spirit, even if it takes time and may be difficult, He can move mountains and bring everything to completion on the day of Jesus Christ. What He has started He will finish.
D.Fa
I had been somewhat complaining to him about how deep I feel the depths of sin in my heart and mind are, that even now it sometimes feels like there's nothing but wrong on my mind. But he asked if there was any progress. He admitted it wasn't something that was easily quantifiable and is more of a long term process, but further clarified:
"Have I grown to be / walk more like Christ since last year, even since last month if you can see the difference?
Am i drawing towards God more?
Am i drawing towards God more?
Am i yearning for Him and his word more?
Has He become more of what ultimately satisfies, the one we find joy and pleasure in over other things?
How have you seen God work in your life lately?
And it doesn't meant you're always right with God, sometimes you can feel lonely, but have you seen him transforming you?
What steps are you taking to combat this sin?
Have you just sat there and been content or are you aggressively fighting?
Is fighting this sin a priority in your life, where does it stand?"
"Have you seen progress?"
Sometimes, often, I want to skip to the ending where all the progress is done already. And I had been thinking about it lately as I've been biking. Whenever I come to a hill, my first response is to see it coming and pedal as fast as I can on the highest gear before I get to the hill and just use the momentum to keep pedaling at that speed and get to the top. For smaller hills this seems to work well, but for larger hills, it invariably does not work. Soon the hill makes it so you cannot even pedal, and you may have to walk the bike up the hill.
Sometimes, often, I want to skip to the ending where all the progress is done already. And I had been thinking about it lately as I've been biking. Whenever I come to a hill, my first response is to see it coming and pedal as fast as I can on the highest gear before I get to the hill and just use the momentum to keep pedaling at that speed and get to the top. For smaller hills this seems to work well, but for larger hills, it invariably does not work. Soon the hill makes it so you cannot even pedal, and you may have to walk the bike up the hill.
The idea of switching gears had always seemed kinda dumb to me.
When you switch to a lower gear you can't go as fast. If there is a hill, you'll spend more time on it barely moving. But when you switch to a lower gear it is easier to pedal uphill. Although you end up going a little slower, sometimes a lot slower, you are making progress! And at the top of the hill you will not have been so out of breath and wouldn't have had to walk to bike up the hill.
I live on a hill, so every time I bike I need to go up a hill. haha.
But in our lives with Christ, there will be hills, there will be mountains even. But by the Holy Spirit, even if it takes time and may be difficult, He can move mountains and bring everything to completion on the day of Jesus Christ. What He has started He will finish.
D.Fa
10.5.15
Check on the Bucketlist
Yo.
Kinda funny. Today was really great. Various reasons. Good time with God. Watched some anime. Shared the gospel. Pretty sweet time in the Bible with other Young Adults. Probably the funniest to say is that I shared the gospel through anime, specifically a show called "is it wrong to try to pick up girls in a dungeon?"
Don't get me wrong, I know the title sounds bad. The show is actually quite good. The plot is very thin "that girl saved me! I like her. I want to be strong enough that I could save her, then she'd like me!", but the content can be very good. Recently as the main character, Bell, has been going into the dungeon to fight monsters he's brought a supporter, someone to carry dropped items and be back-up fighting support. The supporter he got had a shady background and stole his most precious knife and ran. She got caught by some bad guys who took all her stuff and left her with a swarm of giant ant monsters, which she had no way of fighting. So she just has seconds before getting killed. And this isn't a game. In this anime, this is the world, not a game. If you die, you die. So she is laying on the ground, beat up, and imminent death:
So she's thinking all through how terrible she's been and how this is what she deserves, but the reality hits her that she is actually going to die. Meanwhile, some of the main character's friends are talking about how he should ditch this supporter, but "no matter what happens, he won't abandon that supporter." and flashback to the morning when Bell was talking to his friend "even if that's true, if she's in trouble, I want to help her." So BAM! out of no where Bell comes in and fights the swarm of giant ants with his knife and some magic.
"Yup."
And so she throws herself into his arms, bawling, and apologizing.
I asked my friend, who is also watching this show, about if he related at all with the supporter girl. And explained how I thought the whole scene was reminiscent of how God came to save us even though we fully didn't deserve it, but deserved to die for all the ways we've lied and cheated and rebelled against God, His creation, other people made in His image, and even the plans He has for us, as we seek after selfish goals and ambitions, various as they may be.
In any case, I'd been dying to share the gospel using anime, and so, I'm counting this as an answered prayer. xP. God is pretty cool. haha
Ttyl.
D.Fa
Kinda funny. Today was really great. Various reasons. Good time with God. Watched some anime. Shared the gospel. Pretty sweet time in the Bible with other Young Adults. Probably the funniest to say is that I shared the gospel through anime, specifically a show called "is it wrong to try to pick up girls in a dungeon?"
Don't get me wrong, I know the title sounds bad. The show is actually quite good. The plot is very thin "that girl saved me! I like her. I want to be strong enough that I could save her, then she'd like me!", but the content can be very good. Recently as the main character, Bell, has been going into the dungeon to fight monsters he's brought a supporter, someone to carry dropped items and be back-up fighting support. The supporter he got had a shady background and stole his most precious knife and ran. She got caught by some bad guys who took all her stuff and left her with a swarm of giant ant monsters, which she had no way of fighting. So she just has seconds before getting killed. And this isn't a game. In this anime, this is the world, not a game. If you die, you die. So she is laying on the ground, beat up, and imminent death:
"I guess this is what I deserve for deceiving Bell-sama, who was so nice to me.
If that's true, then maybe I should give up.
But it hurts.
God, why..?
Why did you make me like this?
I hate myself for being so weak and small
and nothing ever changes for me.
I was so lonely.
I wanted to be with someone.
I wanted to be needed.
But...
It's over now. I can finally die.
I can finally end this.
The me who can't do anything.
The weak me.
The small me.
The small me.
The worthless me.
The lonely me.
I'm finally going to ... am I going to die?!"
So she's thinking all through how terrible she's been and how this is what she deserves, but the reality hits her that she is actually going to die. Meanwhile, some of the main character's friends are talking about how he should ditch this supporter, but "no matter what happens, he won't abandon that supporter." and flashback to the morning when Bell was talking to his friend "even if that's true, if she's in trouble, I want to help her." So BAM! out of no where Bell comes in and fights the swarm of giant ants with his knife and some magic.
"Why?
Why did you save me?
Why aren't you avandoning me?
Wait, do you not understand that I was tricking you?
(she confesses all the bad stuff she did: stealing a knife, lying about the gold and drops, saying mean things, etc.)
Don't you understand? I'm a bad person! A thief! I'm the worst kind of jerk! I've done nothing but lie to you! Will you... Will you save me anyway?"
"Yup."
"Why?"
'Because it's you. I wanted to save you because you're you. I can't find another reason. I don't need another reason to save you. If you're in trouble, talk to me. I won't understand everything, but I'll save you.'
And so she throws herself into his arms, bawling, and apologizing.
I asked my friend, who is also watching this show, about if he related at all with the supporter girl. And explained how I thought the whole scene was reminiscent of how God came to save us even though we fully didn't deserve it, but deserved to die for all the ways we've lied and cheated and rebelled against God, His creation, other people made in His image, and even the plans He has for us, as we seek after selfish goals and ambitions, various as they may be.
In any case, I'd been dying to share the gospel using anime, and so, I'm counting this as an answered prayer. xP. God is pretty cool. haha
Ttyl.
D.Fa
6.5.15
Jumps and Flats
Yo,
so a few days ago I was biking to church. It was a nice relaxing 30 minute ride. While on this ride I determined to learn how to do something: get over curbs by jumping up onto them with the front wheel. Now, this is actually pretty simple, you just pull up sharply when riding and the front wheel will jump off the ground a bit while you are still moving forward and fall down on top of the curb. But I had never realized this. Watching kids do this, it seems like a lot of work and pretty dangerous. But in actuality is so simple! So, I'm kinda obsessed with it now, and I feel so cool doing it! It's like having another childhood.
But really, I love biking. I can't talk highly about it enough. I highly recommend it. xP
However, I also highly recommend buying your own bike pump. I have had terrible luck with free pumps lately. When I got my new bike from BR when he left for Texas the front tire was flat, so I brought the pump MM had given me way back when (it was kinda rusty, admittedly) and it didn't pump up. Must be flat, I thought. So I took the inner tube out and found it wasn't punctured. So I needed to walk over to AS's and use her pump. The other day, I was at school and there's this bike fixing station by the Architecture building and there's a pump. So I went to top off my tires. #Fshooooooooooooooooooooo.........# > . <## It was now flat............... Tried for 15 minutes to get it to work...... Nope. Called up AS. haha... I swear I'll get a pump soon.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
so a few days ago I was biking to church. It was a nice relaxing 30 minute ride. While on this ride I determined to learn how to do something: get over curbs by jumping up onto them with the front wheel. Now, this is actually pretty simple, you just pull up sharply when riding and the front wheel will jump off the ground a bit while you are still moving forward and fall down on top of the curb. But I had never realized this. Watching kids do this, it seems like a lot of work and pretty dangerous. But in actuality is so simple! So, I'm kinda obsessed with it now, and I feel so cool doing it! It's like having another childhood.
But really, I love biking. I can't talk highly about it enough. I highly recommend it. xP
However, I also highly recommend buying your own bike pump. I have had terrible luck with free pumps lately. When I got my new bike from BR when he left for Texas the front tire was flat, so I brought the pump MM had given me way back when (it was kinda rusty, admittedly) and it didn't pump up. Must be flat, I thought. So I took the inner tube out and found it wasn't punctured. So I needed to walk over to AS's and use her pump. The other day, I was at school and there's this bike fixing station by the Architecture building and there's a pump. So I went to top off my tires. #Fshooooooooooooooooooooo.........# > . <## It was now flat............... Tried for 15 minutes to get it to work...... Nope. Called up AS. haha... I swear I'll get a pump soon.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
5.5.15
Assorted Tales
Yo guys,
I've been really all over the place lately, both figuratively and literally. haha. To start, I've decided against getting a job for the summer. As such I will need to save as much money as possible before my grad school funding starts coming in in September.
One way I am intending to do that is by biking everywhere all summer. This started a week or so ago and the amount of biking has steadily increased from about 5 minute trips to 30 minute trips. I really like biking. Ever since my housemate back in 2nd year got me a bike and convinced me to bike to school. Then in Saskatoon I was also too cheap to buy a bus pass, so I got a kijiji bike and biked 15 minutes to work each day. It was so good. Just the freedom of being able to bike wherever, whenever, for free is so great. Especially with this perfect Ottawa summer weather.
To enjoy the weather further I've signed up for a membership with a local tennis club. It was $50 for the entire season! So cheap! And I convinced JF to join too. xP. So I'll be playing all the time. We joined the ladder too, so about 8 games per month at least. The practice game we played last week was good. After having been off for a while I can relearn how to serve well. I ended up getting a number of aces! =D But it was a typical match for me where I kind of trail just behind the guy I'm playing. The score ended up being 8-7 for JF where he was only ever ahead by 1 or 2 games, but we ended up usually being tied. (5 deuces in one game. haha) He said "You've got a talent, I'm not sure what it is, but you've got it." I always say it was my brother's doing (if I started winning he got angry).
Speaking of anger, knitting is very relaxing. haha. Unless you're knitting a blanket! This thing is 16 x 17 squares right now (each square a 18x10 garter stitch knit square, worsted weight, acrylic, size 9 needles) so roughly about 40 inches by 40 inches. Roughly. The intention is for a sitting blanket when you're cold on a couch. Nearly done! Not... Estimated to be another 27-60 hours of non-stop knitting. But I'm done with 1 of the 3 colours, but I might want to do a final border in the 1st colour. I really don't want to buy more yarn though. lol. Can't wait to start other projects! =D
Finally, a project I'd like to start up is relearning how to play trombone! Now that I'm free / I'll be a grad student in September, I'd like to join a band, whichever one NF was in (a Carleton band I think). So I need to learn trombone again and my mother can come listen. This is also partially caused by my current favourite anime: "Hibike! Euphonium". It's so good!!! Today's episode was about a concert band marching competition and they packed up all the instruments in a moving truck and went to the competition. "the male students are very useful in these situations" or something. Very true. They didn't need to move all the percussion though. haha.
I'll ttyl about more stuff.
D.Fa
I've been really all over the place lately, both figuratively and literally. haha. To start, I've decided against getting a job for the summer. As such I will need to save as much money as possible before my grad school funding starts coming in in September.
One way I am intending to do that is by biking everywhere all summer. This started a week or so ago and the amount of biking has steadily increased from about 5 minute trips to 30 minute trips. I really like biking. Ever since my housemate back in 2nd year got me a bike and convinced me to bike to school. Then in Saskatoon I was also too cheap to buy a bus pass, so I got a kijiji bike and biked 15 minutes to work each day. It was so good. Just the freedom of being able to bike wherever, whenever, for free is so great. Especially with this perfect Ottawa summer weather.
To enjoy the weather further I've signed up for a membership with a local tennis club. It was $50 for the entire season! So cheap! And I convinced JF to join too. xP. So I'll be playing all the time. We joined the ladder too, so about 8 games per month at least. The practice game we played last week was good. After having been off for a while I can relearn how to serve well. I ended up getting a number of aces! =D But it was a typical match for me where I kind of trail just behind the guy I'm playing. The score ended up being 8-7 for JF where he was only ever ahead by 1 or 2 games, but we ended up usually being tied. (5 deuces in one game. haha) He said "You've got a talent, I'm not sure what it is, but you've got it." I always say it was my brother's doing (if I started winning he got angry).
Speaking of anger, knitting is very relaxing. haha. Unless you're knitting a blanket! This thing is 16 x 17 squares right now (each square a 18x10 garter stitch knit square, worsted weight, acrylic, size 9 needles) so roughly about 40 inches by 40 inches. Roughly. The intention is for a sitting blanket when you're cold on a couch. Nearly done! Not... Estimated to be another 27-60 hours of non-stop knitting. But I'm done with 1 of the 3 colours, but I might want to do a final border in the 1st colour. I really don't want to buy more yarn though. lol. Can't wait to start other projects! =D
Finally, a project I'd like to start up is relearning how to play trombone! Now that I'm free / I'll be a grad student in September, I'd like to join a band, whichever one NF was in (a Carleton band I think). So I need to learn trombone again and my mother can come listen. This is also partially caused by my current favourite anime: "Hibike! Euphonium". It's so good!!! Today's episode was about a concert band marching competition and they packed up all the instruments in a moving truck and went to the competition. "the male students are very useful in these situations" or something. Very true. They didn't need to move all the percussion though. haha.
I'll ttyl about more stuff.
D.Fa
27.4.15
Hiding the Truth
Hey,
I've just been thinking now about a number of things that I'm kinda upset about, and the annoying thing is that they all seem to have happened somewhat because I was hiding what I really felt for various reasons.
One thing is that I'm probably not going to have the job that I thought I was going to this summer because of a miscommunication about my summer plans that could have been avoided, had I not been hiding that my plans had fallen through, thinking that it would be super awkward to explain after having been so excited and sure about them.
Another is that I'm pretty upset that I won't get to live with some guys next year because I wanted to be a good guy and let my other friend have the first chance. I really really really wanted to live there and now I'll have to wait until my other friend graduates. I don't know what I think. It's complicated. And now I'm trying desperately to live in the same area so that I can just hang out all the time. idk.
Another being that with graduation and stuff I have a number of friends leaving, and I'm really going to miss them, but I haven't said anything like that because it would sound weird, wouldn't it? I feel like he's one of my best friends now, but i don't know how to say that properly... But instead now I'm feeling like I'll regret it if I don't say anything.
Why do I need to hide the truth? What even is the truth? Is what I am feeling the truth? What would happen if I always just said what I was thinking? Would that be helpful or harmful?
I don't know what to do, and when I don't know what to do I usually do nothing and later regret doing nothing.
Also, while cleaning today I found my grade 7 binder. Very interesting read. Back then I was also hiding things. I also apparently was kinda arrogant. It was insightful though.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
I've just been thinking now about a number of things that I'm kinda upset about, and the annoying thing is that they all seem to have happened somewhat because I was hiding what I really felt for various reasons.
One thing is that I'm probably not going to have the job that I thought I was going to this summer because of a miscommunication about my summer plans that could have been avoided, had I not been hiding that my plans had fallen through, thinking that it would be super awkward to explain after having been so excited and sure about them.
Another is that I'm pretty upset that I won't get to live with some guys next year because I wanted to be a good guy and let my other friend have the first chance. I really really really wanted to live there and now I'll have to wait until my other friend graduates. I don't know what I think. It's complicated. And now I'm trying desperately to live in the same area so that I can just hang out all the time. idk.
Another being that with graduation and stuff I have a number of friends leaving, and I'm really going to miss them, but I haven't said anything like that because it would sound weird, wouldn't it? I feel like he's one of my best friends now, but i don't know how to say that properly... But instead now I'm feeling like I'll regret it if I don't say anything.
Why do I need to hide the truth? What even is the truth? Is what I am feeling the truth? What would happen if I always just said what I was thinking? Would that be helpful or harmful?
I don't know what to do, and when I don't know what to do I usually do nothing and later regret doing nothing.
Also, while cleaning today I found my grade 7 binder. Very interesting read. Back then I was also hiding things. I also apparently was kinda arrogant. It was insightful though.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
20.4.15
17.4.15
Sometimes I Need to Remind Myself
(In response to an email encouraging me about having shared my story (link at the bottom))
Phil 1:12-14 is how I want to see all of this.
"12 I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel, 13 so that it has become known throughout the whole imperial guard and to all the rest that my imprisonment is for Christ. 14 And most of the brothers, having become confident in the Lord by my imprisonment, are much more bold to speak the word without fear."
I
will admit that I really dislike boasting in weakness and relying upon
others' grace or generosity. I try to be independent and confident in
myself. But that always fails.
May God give us
grace and boldness to proclaim our weakness and inadequacies as we
trust in Him. May the gospel always be on our hearts and lips. May those
around us see Christ. May He be glorified in everything. May we
stumble, may we fall short, may the thorns in our flesh remind us ever
of His grace and goodness, may we never forget that those thorns are not
who we are, for we are now those who do not back down or are defeated,
but we, who have been purchased, sanctified, made a new creation in the
all atoning, propitiating death of Christ, we who no longer stand
condemned, but stand alive, stand firm in Him, we are eternally God's
adopted children, not born out of human decision or will, but fully by
God's grace and everlasting love.
Your brother in Christ, through struggle, trial, and joy,
D.Fa (帝法)”
My Story: Video; Written.
“Hey sis,
thank you for your continued
encouragement and friendship. Emails like this and knowing that I've got
a bunch of people standing there with me, together seeking His face,
chasing after His kingdom and righteousness, together struggling against
the world, the enemy, and the flesh, fighting the good fight by the
Spirit and by His grace. I struggled a lot with the decision to share
that video before finally trusting God with it and what would come from
it, but in everything He is good and has encouraged the church to be
bold, and showed me continually His goodness. May we never forget that
goodness and all He has done.Phil 1:12-14 is how I want to see all of this.
"12 I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel, 13 so that it has become known throughout the whole imperial guard and to all the rest that my imprisonment is for Christ. 14 And most of the brothers, having become confident in the Lord by my imprisonment, are much more bold to speak the word without fear."
We
are so worthy, and yet He loves us and lavishes His grace upon us. May
we throw aside all hindrances and run forward chasing after Him as He
enables and works in and through us by the Spirit that raised Christ
from the dead. May we experience Him and the resurrection, abundant life
that is found in no other name than in Christ, our saviour, our
redeemer, our God, our friend.
May that be according to His will and for His glory, and even more than we can ask or imagine.
Your brother in Christ, through struggle, trial, and joy,
My Story: Video; Written.
15.4.15
悪魔の匂い； 四月の嘘。
Sitting stagnant in darkness,
Let's pretend that all is well.
Forget again what lies behind,
Except for that smell.
That haunting, clinging remnant,
Of a past lingering so close.
To run, to hide, and dream,
But for that memory of guilt.
How can I continue,
how could I stop?
To seek out the light,
and yet fall again.
What can I do,
how can I recollect,
those days spent well,
before this insurmountable descent?
Can I ride 'til there is nothing but wind; try to escape it all?
Can I try harder and succeed; to do anything of worth?
Could I rely upon your strength; find humility in earnest?
Could I trust and walk forward; be caught when I stumble?
Thoughts of despair;
Lies which scream for attention.
Felt tension in the air:
Thick, restraining forward motion.
But there is light, there is truth,
and what-else these were but lies.
May such curses be forgotten,
could you open my inner eyes?
O that my soul would see,
the beauty, majesty, supreme splendor of your grace.
And everything within me turn;
with whole heart to seek your face.
Can I do anything?
The answer seems to condemn.
But by your strength, and all good hope,
a faith with which to stride;
may these steps be established,
your spirit always be my guide.
Let's pretend that all is well.
Forget again what lies behind,
Except for that smell.
That haunting, clinging remnant,
Of a past lingering so close.
To run, to hide, and dream,
But for that memory of guilt.
How can I continue,
how could I stop?
To seek out the light,
and yet fall again.
What can I do,
how can I recollect,
those days spent well,
before this insurmountable descent?
Can I ride 'til there is nothing but wind; try to escape it all?
Can I try harder and succeed; to do anything of worth?
Could I rely upon your strength; find humility in earnest?
Could I trust and walk forward; be caught when I stumble?
Thoughts of despair;
Lies which scream for attention.
Felt tension in the air:
Thick, restraining forward motion.
But there is light, there is truth,
and what-else these were but lies.
May such curses be forgotten,
could you open my inner eyes?
O that my soul would see,
the beauty, majesty, supreme splendor of your grace.
And everything within me turn;
with whole heart to seek your face.
Can I do anything?
The answer seems to condemn.
But by your strength, and all good hope,
a faith with which to stride;
may these steps be established,
your spirit always be my guide.
SMS Novel 1: Poetry of the Night
YO!
Yesterday I was just about to go to sleep when suddenly!
From the shadows on the wall beside my bed emerged a creature of the dark!!
It was about 2.5 inches long!!!!
It had hundreds of legs!!!!!!
It
Was
Beside
My
Bed
...
Nearly Died.
I made an immediate plan in my head.
Slowly move the bed frame from the wall to expose the beast.
Grab an empty envelope from the bedside table.
Approach calmly
Position the envelope 2 or 3 inches from the monster
And
BAM!!!!!
SMACK THE ENVELOPE ONTO IT'S HIDEOUS BODY!!
The beast wiggled and squirmed beneath the force of the folded paper
It wasn't dead. O.o
*deep breath*
I need to kill this.
Only one thing to do...
Press harder.
*gulp*
Here we go...
#CRUNCH!#
The deafening noise of the beast's exoskeleton cracking beneath the weight of justice!
And then there was silence, save for the racing pounding beat of the killer's remorseless heart.
It was finished.
The enemy utterly defeated.
The residents of 1817 Leblanc* could rest their heads in peace this evening.
But still,
The fear in the back of their minds.
Were there more?
They'd have to hope for the best as they entrust themselves to the warmth of their dinosaur blankee.
Sweet dream young slayer of evil.
Sweet dreams.
~FIN~
Written March 12th 2015 over 42 text messages. Based on a true story.
*address changed for this reproduction
D.Fa
Yesterday I was just about to go to sleep when suddenly!
From the shadows on the wall beside my bed emerged a creature of the dark!!
It was about 2.5 inches long!!!!
It had hundreds of legs!!!!!!
It
Was
Beside
My
Bed
...
Nearly Died.
I made an immediate plan in my head.
Slowly move the bed frame from the wall to expose the beast.
Grab an empty envelope from the bedside table.
Approach calmly
Position the envelope 2 or 3 inches from the monster
And
BAM!!!!!
SMACK THE ENVELOPE ONTO IT'S HIDEOUS BODY!!
The beast wiggled and squirmed beneath the force of the folded paper
It wasn't dead. O.o
*deep breath*
I need to kill this.
Only one thing to do...
Press harder.
*gulp*
Here we go...
#CRUNCH!#
The deafening noise of the beast's exoskeleton cracking beneath the weight of justice!
And then there was silence, save for the racing pounding beat of the killer's remorseless heart.
It was finished.
The enemy utterly defeated.
The residents of 1817 Leblanc* could rest their heads in peace this evening.
But still,
The fear in the back of their minds.
Were there more?
They'd have to hope for the best as they entrust themselves to the warmth of their dinosaur blankee.
Sweet dream young slayer of evil.
Sweet dreams.
~FIN~
Written March 12th 2015 over 42 text messages. Based on a true story.
*address changed for this reproduction
D.Fa
9.4.15
When The Going
Yo.
I won't lie, these last few weeks have been crazy for various reasons. In the height of school work my application for an internship position next year was declined. And I needed to get over it immediately so I could continue to help out those around me / finish my school work and actually graduate. One thought was that "if I let this ruin my graduation I'll never get over it". But God is good and actually got me over the bulk of it. He provided scriptures to say 'I've got plans for you here and now. Wait upon me and in due time you'll see.' And if it was just up to me I'd have been really upset and rage quit a lot of things. I spent all night the day I was told praying and crying about it. A lot of whining and I was angry. But He got me through that.
Since then though I've had so much work to do on my undergrad thesis. I've actually woken pretty consistently early to go to Health Canada and to go to school and get things done. I've missed a bunch of meals and unfortunately I've ended up skipping out on a bunch of Bible time. To make things worse my wifi wasn't working a week ago or so, so I ended up using the entire month's data on youtube on my phone, so now I can't read the Bible on my phone on the bus, so I'd been having an excuse on those busy days.
It's a pretty dumb excuse though.
I used to always have like 4 print bibles in my bag at all times. Electronic bibles... haha
So I put it back in my bag and am just reading chronologically from where I left off in Numbers. Some things that happen are so crazy. I don't really know what I've been learning though.
I've also been watching anime and hanging with RN. I moved back to my parents'. I had awesome times with BGTD for easter brunch and egg hunt and doing some work for my previous boss.
I'll be sure to ttyl.
D.Fa
I won't lie, these last few weeks have been crazy for various reasons. In the height of school work my application for an internship position next year was declined. And I needed to get over it immediately so I could continue to help out those around me / finish my school work and actually graduate. One thought was that "if I let this ruin my graduation I'll never get over it". But God is good and actually got me over the bulk of it. He provided scriptures to say 'I've got plans for you here and now. Wait upon me and in due time you'll see.' And if it was just up to me I'd have been really upset and rage quit a lot of things. I spent all night the day I was told praying and crying about it. A lot of whining and I was angry. But He got me through that.
Since then though I've had so much work to do on my undergrad thesis. I've actually woken pretty consistently early to go to Health Canada and to go to school and get things done. I've missed a bunch of meals and unfortunately I've ended up skipping out on a bunch of Bible time. To make things worse my wifi wasn't working a week ago or so, so I ended up using the entire month's data on youtube on my phone, so now I can't read the Bible on my phone on the bus, so I'd been having an excuse on those busy days.
It's a pretty dumb excuse though.
I used to always have like 4 print bibles in my bag at all times. Electronic bibles... haha
So I put it back in my bag and am just reading chronologically from where I left off in Numbers. Some things that happen are so crazy. I don't really know what I've been learning though.
I've also been watching anime and hanging with RN. I moved back to my parents'. I had awesome times with BGTD for easter brunch and egg hunt and doing some work for my previous boss.
I'll be sure to ttyl.
D.Fa
5.3.15
Plato is a Cool Guy.
Yo.
So, I really don't know all that much about Plato. My first encounter was probably actually sometime back in highschool. My friends AdSB and ML frequently talked Philosophy and History. And maybe a few years ago in Asia DP and myself had a talk with a guy about 'the cave' and I learned a bit about Platonic forms? However, my real first time actually talking about him and learning about him was very briefly last semester in my philosophy of the self and personal identity. We briefly talked about his view of dualism, the mind being the soul and the body being a sort of cage for it. But yes, we only briefly talked about that as we learned of Locke's thoughts on the memory criterion.
This semester I am taking a class on Critical Thinking and Argument analysis and evaluation.
What a great class to take.
Indeed. Yesterday we looked at Plato's The Republic: Book IV.
I've heard about that! What was it like?
It was interesting to actually read some Plato. He writes in this odd dialogue format, which I was thinking about and it seems as though it strengthens his arguments just by making it seem like someone else agrees with him.
Yes, it certainly does.
Anyways, this book was all about what a just and perfect city would look like and how that would also relate to a just and perfect person. Plato saw the city as having three general classes / occupations: workmen/producers (all skilled trades and works); warriors/auxiliaries (to defend the city); and rulers/philosopher kings (ruling wisely). He spoke of how each of these divided classes corresponds to a virtue. The rulers with wisdom; the warriors with courage; and the workmen with moderation, meaning that they are to be content in their situation with being ruled by those who are wiser than they. Justice, as Plato put it, was that everyone was to practice one of the occupations in the city which they are most suited to. When everything is in order as it should be, that is justice. For a class to desire another class or to try and do more than one occupation is to cause chaos and practice injustice.
This he corresponds to the soul. That the soul has three parts. These three parts he referred to as the appetites, the spirit, and reason. Appetites always desiring their selfish desires; reason trying to keep the appetites in check and to rule over the soul; and the spirit being the part that follows reason and fights for justice either being angry when not treated justly or content when justly dealt with. Again, justice being when everything is in proper order. A person is healthy when his soul is in order.
Plato apparently doesn't like democracy, which he gets to in book VIII, for when those who are wise and can rule to properly keep us all in check of moderation all will be better. The whole city will be happier. while in democracy the people, who are properly represented, chase their appetites regardless of what the better ultimate good could be.
Anyways, Plato says a lot of stuff which is really Biblical. One case is just at the end after he has explained what justice and injustice would look like the question comes up: "So it now remains, it seems, to inquire whether it is more profitable to act justly, live in a fine way, and be just, whether one is known to be so or not, or to act unjustly and be unjust, provided that one doesn't pay the penalty and become better as a result of punishment."
The answer was "But, Socrates, this inquiry looks ridiculous to me now that justice and injustice have been shown to be as we described. Even if one has every kind of food and drink, lots of money, and every sort of power to rule, life is thought to not be worth living when the body's nature is ruined. So even if someone can do whatever he wishes, except what will free him from vice and injustice and make him acquire justice and virtue, how can it be worth living when his soul--the very thing by which he lives--is ruined and in turmoil?" (emphasis mine)
This sounds so similar to something Jesus said. "For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?" Matt16:26. Directly afterwards He speaks of how He will come back in judgement dealing to each as their deeds require. Directly before speaks of how much more worth it is to lose one's life for the sake of the gospel and Jesus' name.
What does this all mean to me? Hmmm. To be willing to follow after our wise and eternal King Jesus despite what I may desire, knowing that He knows best for me? hmm.
May God help me to trust in Him more and more and by His Spirit empower me to moderation and self-control.
D.Fa
PS. Another thought was on the division of the soul in relation to the three biblical divisions of heart, mind, and soul. Idk what that'd look like exactly, but it seems to correspond well with our sinful flesh led by appetites, our renewed knowledge and reason in Christ, and our spirit which agrees with the Holy Spirit. But idk enough to write all about that. haha
So, I really don't know all that much about Plato. My first encounter was probably actually sometime back in highschool. My friends AdSB and ML frequently talked Philosophy and History. And maybe a few years ago in Asia DP and myself had a talk with a guy about 'the cave' and I learned a bit about Platonic forms? However, my real first time actually talking about him and learning about him was very briefly last semester in my philosophy of the self and personal identity. We briefly talked about his view of dualism, the mind being the soul and the body being a sort of cage for it. But yes, we only briefly talked about that as we learned of Locke's thoughts on the memory criterion.
This semester I am taking a class on Critical Thinking and Argument analysis and evaluation.
What a great class to take.
Indeed. Yesterday we looked at Plato's The Republic: Book IV.
I've heard about that! What was it like?
It was interesting to actually read some Plato. He writes in this odd dialogue format, which I was thinking about and it seems as though it strengthens his arguments just by making it seem like someone else agrees with him.
Yes, it certainly does.
Anyways, this book was all about what a just and perfect city would look like and how that would also relate to a just and perfect person. Plato saw the city as having three general classes / occupations: workmen/producers (all skilled trades and works); warriors/auxiliaries (to defend the city); and rulers/philosopher kings (ruling wisely). He spoke of how each of these divided classes corresponds to a virtue. The rulers with wisdom; the warriors with courage; and the workmen with moderation, meaning that they are to be content in their situation with being ruled by those who are wiser than they. Justice, as Plato put it, was that everyone was to practice one of the occupations in the city which they are most suited to. When everything is in order as it should be, that is justice. For a class to desire another class or to try and do more than one occupation is to cause chaos and practice injustice.
This he corresponds to the soul. That the soul has three parts. These three parts he referred to as the appetites, the spirit, and reason. Appetites always desiring their selfish desires; reason trying to keep the appetites in check and to rule over the soul; and the spirit being the part that follows reason and fights for justice either being angry when not treated justly or content when justly dealt with. Again, justice being when everything is in proper order. A person is healthy when his soul is in order.
Plato apparently doesn't like democracy, which he gets to in book VIII, for when those who are wise and can rule to properly keep us all in check of moderation all will be better. The whole city will be happier. while in democracy the people, who are properly represented, chase their appetites regardless of what the better ultimate good could be.
Anyways, Plato says a lot of stuff which is really Biblical. One case is just at the end after he has explained what justice and injustice would look like the question comes up: "So it now remains, it seems, to inquire whether it is more profitable to act justly, live in a fine way, and be just, whether one is known to be so or not, or to act unjustly and be unjust, provided that one doesn't pay the penalty and become better as a result of punishment."
The answer was "But, Socrates, this inquiry looks ridiculous to me now that justice and injustice have been shown to be as we described. Even if one has every kind of food and drink, lots of money, and every sort of power to rule, life is thought to not be worth living when the body's nature is ruined. So even if someone can do whatever he wishes, except what will free him from vice and injustice and make him acquire justice and virtue, how can it be worth living when his soul--the very thing by which he lives--is ruined and in turmoil?" (emphasis mine)
This sounds so similar to something Jesus said. "For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?" Matt16:26. Directly afterwards He speaks of how He will come back in judgement dealing to each as their deeds require. Directly before speaks of how much more worth it is to lose one's life for the sake of the gospel and Jesus' name.
What does this all mean to me? Hmmm. To be willing to follow after our wise and eternal King Jesus despite what I may desire, knowing that He knows best for me? hmm.
May God help me to trust in Him more and more and by His Spirit empower me to moderation and self-control.
D.Fa
PS. Another thought was on the division of the soul in relation to the three biblical divisions of heart, mind, and soul. Idk what that'd look like exactly, but it seems to correspond well with our sinful flesh led by appetites, our renewed knowledge and reason in Christ, and our spirit which agrees with the Holy Spirit. But idk enough to write all about that. haha
1.3.15
Hatred
Yo.
So, the other day I was at a discussion group and we had been talking about Christianity and how hypocritical Christians can be sometimes (ultimate answer here was people are people, not perfect) and one guy kinda shared a story of something. I don't remember exactly what he said, but one thing was that he used to swear quite a bit, but now that he is following Jesus that has really been an active change and when he sees others swear using God's name he hates it.
He hates when others take the Lord's name in vain were actually his words.
And that was just crazy to me to think. Although I get the idea and that it's a commandment, it's just hate is a very strong word, eh? I don't know.
I feel like this may be something I need to grow more in: hating sin.
The truth of the Bible is that although God is love and good, He hates sin (disobedience, rebellion, selfishness, etc.) and is just to punish all who have sinned, which is everyone. However, in His love for His creation, He gives us a way to be forgiven and take our punishment by sending Jesus to the cross, dying in our place. Any who don't take that gracious forgiveness in Jesus still deserve wrath and so will be punished.
So, we are to share this great news of saving grace to others and to live lives worthy of the call of God.
"For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good." Titus 2:11-14 NIV
In Romans Paul says he wishes they be wise in good and innocent in evil.
We are to love God and hate sin, turning from it back to God.
And I definitely have been convicted by the Spirit in the past of my sin and of how bad it is, but sometimes I feel like hate is a really too strong word for how I feel towards sin. I'm tempted to believe sin isn't actually bad and to turn from God back to selfish choices, which will lead me further and further towards destruction and away from truly experiencing God's goodness.
So I need more hatred towards sin. Even a speck of sin is too much.
May the Spirit of holiness and power work to grow a hatred for that which God hates. May He empower me and strengthen me to fight the battles I must, and the grace to keep me from as many as possible. May He help me love Him more and shape my heart and desires after His own.
D.Fa
28.2.15
Skin Diseases.
Yo.
Sometimes when I read the Bible the situations are just too perfect and match what I am reading so well. Sometimes this can be really encouraging, and other times it can be really convicting to see how I'm not living the way I should.
I'm not all that sure which category this fits into, but on Wednesday night I decided I should go to a clinic the next morning. I had discovered a small cut that appeared to be infected and so I took to google to try and figure out what I could do about it. In my search I had determined that it was most likely a staphylococcus infection (as characterized by a red, warm, painful area around the wound). However, I began to get a bit more worried than normal.
I'd usually just brush off a cut or whatever, but it had been getting bigger for a couple days and I was going away for the weekend. As I searched Google I found that some strains of staph can cause serious problems and was reminded of my mother who had a serious infection a number of years ago. So, I wasn't just going to sit around this time.
I went in and was in the waiting room for a good while. So I decided to read some Bible and try to catch up on my reading plan a bit.
It just so happened to be Leviticus 13.
That chapter is all about "defiling skin diseases" and molds. > .>
So, sitting in a waiting room to have a doctor check out my skin infection, I was reading a chapter about how serious the Israelites had to be about skin diseases. If there was a rash or infection or sore or boil or burn or swelling, anything, you had to go to the priest and he'd inspect the color of the hair and stuff, maybe put you in quarantine for a week, check again, and judge whether it was a bad skin disease or a passing one. If it was bad you were unclean and needed to be separated from the assembly and all the Israelites and go live alone until you get better.
What a fun chapter to read.
The doctor said it wasn't the virulent strain (indicated by red lines going outwards from the infection) and gave me a prescription for antibiotics. 4 times a day for a week. Ok.
I'm thankful for all of these medical services we have in Canada.
Wouldn't it be weird to go to your pastor and ask about a rash?
Not too sure what this all means though. Haha
Ttyl
D.Fa
26.2.15
Sharing a Kitchen
Yo,
Random thought. I was thinking about food because I was having a snack and it reminded me of a former housemate who often ate similarly. The thought was, although I don't remember all of the specifics of many of the conversations I had with my housemates over the years, I remember the foods they ate quite clearly.
In first year I had 4 housemates. One ate frozen raspberries, lots of chicken breasts, plantains, chickpeas, and protein shakes all the time. Another often ate the food I made him or that we made together (he taught me to grate my carrots), ate out, or ate food his parents gave him. A third had heart-shaped toast on his birthday, had kraft dinner with hotdogs the first day I moved in (this is where I learned it from), and had the sweet chilli chicken sauce. The last also had the KD, but I don't remember too many of his meals... One time a friend came over and we ate piles of chicken nuggets from McDonald's. Haha
In second year I had 4 different housemates. One ate hagelslag, had cereal every morning, brewed his own beers, and cooked delicious pasta. Another had Korean food from his parents (seaweed soup, kimchi, etc.), cooked a really garlicky pasta once, and can really chow down on KBBQ. Haha. The third grew a liking for onions, ate spam regularly, made great garlic and steamed bok choy, and regularly ate steak and white rice. The last would never microwave a plastic container, loved Pirate cookies (where I discovered them), ate sky flakes all the time, and often let vegetables go bad in the fridge.
In third/fourth year I had 2 housemates. The one almost never cooked. Nearly never. He would mostly eat KFC and Swiss Chalet and Pizza Pizza. He did however also make hamburgers. He always had random candies or sweets and his favourite were Hersey's hugs kept chilled in the fridge. Oh. And he always had orange juice in the fridge. Maybe drank 4L each week. The other housemate regularly cooked fish and had rice with it. He also would marinate cut meat and cook it. He used sesame oil and always had bananas in his room.
This year I have three housemates. One is just learning how to cook things. He has a penchant for hot sauces, death sauces as we call them. His most common meals are vermicelli noodles with chicken, carrots, and frozen vegetables; kraft dinner with frozen vegetables; and frozen pizzas. He almost never thaws food before cooking it and usually freezes leftovers. The second housemate is often too busy with phone calls to stop and cook. He has often burnt grilled cheese, and puréed scrambled eggs, and often leaves things cooking while he walks away. He enjoys pasta, cheese sandwiches, and boiling eggs. The last is very particular. He mostly gets groceries from Costco and has dinner on average at 10 pm. He often cooks chilli, fish, and stir fry. All accompanied with white rice. He frequently drinks milk even without food. And uses many spices when preparing fish.
I've also had a bunch of housemates on mission trips and stuff, but I won't get too into that. One guy loved choco pies, couldn't eat duck, and disliked durian. Another guy ate like 3 eggs each breakfast and hated carbs. Another loved this one brand of orange juice.
It's pretty funny to think about how they each ate. Needless to say there were always wars regarding dirty dishes. That will never change with a dish washer or without.
I wonder how people remember my cooking? Haha
Ttyl.
D.Fa
25.2.15
Partnership
Yo.
A few days ago I got to see something really beautiful. Although I guess I knew it was happening, I hadn't really understood how great it was until I saw it in person. I had nothing scheduled, so when I was invited I decided to go.
Saturday afternoon a friend of mine got married to his beautiful fiancée. It was in this big church that had a lot of exposed wood in the beams and panels, it was spacious and bright, it had simple and elegant colors. All of the wedding party was well dressed and there were flowers and a great ceremony. But the best part of it, as always, was that both the bride and groom don't put each other as the most important thing in their lives; Jesus is the center of their lives. The pastor explained how he saw this in both of them and how that is truly the basis of a great marriage; a partnership in the gospel and seeking God's kingdom and righteousness first. Singing songs to our mighty and gracious God and asking Him to be glorified through their lives, wherever He sends them. The vows were also striking. In the vows both bride and groom said the same thing, but what was more striking was how at the end of the vows they said they wouldn't be able to live up to these promises but would confess shortcomings and talk it through together, showing grace as God has shown them.
As beautiful as that was, and it really was, I was actually more struck by another event.
Friday evening I had been invited to go to the Chinese Young Adult group at my church. It was great getting to meet and talk with a bunch of new friends who were international students, but by far the best part was seeing the way the leaders were working together in harmony to share the gospel with them. Some of the students led worships songs and small group discussions, and some of the aunties and uncles on the Chinese congregation led the main study, shared testimony, prepared food, were warm and inviting. It was so awesome to see this. In general my picture of the Chinese congregation had been less than flattering, but this was really encouraging to see how God is really working through them. On Sunday I picked up the 2014 annual report, and what I had forgotten is that some of the Chinese young adults had been baptized just after Christmas. Not only is God using this ministry to really unite and build up the Chinese congregation for gospel ministry, He is also bearing fruit through them and it's just so beautiful to see.
By far the greatest and most beautiful partnership is that between God and the church; Him choosing and loving us, and us now forgiven and redeemed from sin submitting to His gracious will and perfect plans for our lives. And together working that all may know His grace.
As it says in Ephesians, marriage is a picture of God's relationship with the church:
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Ephesians 5:25-33 NIV
18.2.15
未来人
This post has somewhat spoilers for certain anime series. You've been warned.
For a large portion of this evening I was watching anime with one of my housemates. It is now one of my favourite anime series. It is called Steins;Gate. It started off really weird and confusing, but now it's all coming together and I'm really seeing the value in everything that had happened in the first few episodes.
One of the key elements in this anime is the concept of time travel. The anime opens it's first episode with a monologue about the difference between infinite and finite and from there out we start the see the effects that playing with time can have on material, relationships, and the world.
The idea to be able to go back and fix mistakes arose. If you could, would you? Have you heard of the butterfly effect? If you make action small change in the past it could have huge effects on the future. What if you knew fixing that mistake would cause more trouble for others? Would you still do it?
This is a concept that I've encountered before. I've seen my fair share of time travelers (未来人 miraijin) in anime.
In 'The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' there is a time traveler who has come back to interact with the main character which could have huge lasting impacts. Some of her future contemporaries say they should make an action and see what happens, others are much more cautious and would rather observe.
In 'Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magica', for the sake of saving those she loves, one of the characters has gone back in time again and again, but merely causes that person more and more pain and suffering because they are forced to relive the ordeal.
And here in Steins;Gate we see a very similar thing, except a lot more drawn out and time does move forward bit by bit.
But one thing that these characters can do, with time traveling abilities, is to try something and if it goes wrong, go back and try something different. If the outcome is still wrong, they can fix it.
I see this as something which would be very helpful to have.
I do not like making mistakes. If I could go back and fix them, I feel like I really would want to. But additionally, when I don't know what to do to move forward, what decision to make, it'd be great to be able to know that I could make one decision and then if it is a mistake I can go back and make a different decision.
But I can't.
I feel like I need to do something.
But I can't.
What if it's a mistake?
...
I know I shared this a while ago, but it's still one of my favourite short films: "Ctrl Z" http://youtu.be/XvvimYZScN0.
'You can't undo mistakes you have made, you can only repent and make up for them. So don't let that make you live in fear. That itself is a mistake.'
'Perfect love drives out all fear'
Hmmmmmmmm.
I pray that God would give me a heart that earnestly seeks after His plans, that trusts in His plans, and is willing to turn from selfish ambition and to follow humbly even on a road of sacrifice.
May we live lives honoring to God as we travel forward in time unto eternity.
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