Hiding the Truth

Hey,

I've just been thinking now about a number of things that I'm kinda upset about, and the annoying thing is that they all seem to have happened somewhat because I was hiding what I really felt for various reasons.

One thing is that I'm probably not going to have the job that I thought I was going to this summer because of a miscommunication about my summer plans that could have been avoided, had I not been hiding that my plans had fallen through, thinking that it would be super awkward to explain after having been so excited and sure about them.

Another is that I'm pretty upset that I won't get to live with some guys next year because I wanted to be a good guy and let my other friend have the first chance. I really really really wanted to live there and now I'll have to wait until my other friend graduates. I don't know what I think. It's complicated. And now I'm trying desperately to live in the same area so that I can just hang out all the time. idk.

Another being that with graduation and stuff I have a number of friends leaving, and I'm really going to miss them, but I haven't said anything like that because it would sound weird, wouldn't it? I feel like he's one of my best friends now, but i don't know how to say that properly... But instead now I'm feeling like I'll regret it if I don't say anything.

Why do I need to hide the truth? What even is the truth? Is what I am feeling the truth? What would happen if I always just said what I was thinking? Would that be helpful or harmful?

I don't know what to do, and when I don't know what to do I usually do nothing and later regret doing nothing.

Also, while cleaning today I found my grade 7 binder. Very interesting read. Back then I was also hiding things. I also apparently was kinda arrogant. It was insightful though.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

If It Was That Easy

Note to self: stop procrastinating! You need to graduate now.

Sometimes I Need to Remind Myself

(In response to an email encouraging me about having shared my story (link at the bottom))

“Hey sis,

thank you for your continued encouragement and friendship. Emails like this and knowing that I've got a bunch of people standing there with me, together seeking His face, chasing after His kingdom and righteousness, together struggling against the world, the enemy, and the flesh, fighting the good fight by the Spirit and by His grace. I struggled a lot with the decision to share that video before finally trusting God with it and what would come from it, but in everything He is good and has encouraged the church to be bold, and showed me continually His goodness. May we never forget that goodness and all He has done.

Phil 1:12-14 is how I want to see all of this.
"¹² I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel, ¹³ so that it has become known throughout the whole imperial guard and to all the rest that my imprisonment is for Christ. ¹⁴ And most of the brothers, having become confident in the Lord by my imprisonment, are much more bold to speak the word without fear."

I will admit that I really dislike boasting in weakness and relying upon others' grace or generosity. I try to be independent and confident in myself. But that always fails.

May God give us grace and boldness to proclaim our weakness and inadequacies as we trust in Him. May the gospel always be on our hearts and lips. May those around us see Christ. May He be glorified in everything. May we stumble, may we fall short, may the thorns in our flesh remind us ever of His grace and goodness, may we never forget that those thorns are not who we are, for we are now those who do not back down or are defeated, but we, who have been purchased, sanctified, made a new creation in the all atoning, propitiating death of Christ, we who no longer stand condemned, but stand alive, stand firm in Him, we are eternally God's adopted children, not born out of human decision or will, but fully by God's grace and everlasting love.

We are so worthy, and yet He loves us and lavishes His grace upon us. May we throw aside all hindrances and run forward chasing after Him as He enables and works in and through us by the Spirit that raised Christ from the dead. May we experience Him and the resurrection, abundant life that is found in no other name than in Christ, our saviour, our redeemer, our God, our friend.

May that be according to His will and for His glory, and even more than we can ask or imagine.

Your brother in Christ, through struggle, trial, and joy,

D.Fa (帝法)”

My Story: Video; Written.

悪魔の匂い； 四月の嘘。

Sitting stagnant in darkness,
Let's pretend that all is well.
Forget again what lies behind,
Except for that smell.

That haunting, clinging remnant,
Of a past lingering so close.
To run, to hide, and dream,
But for that memory of guilt.

How can I continue,
how could I stop?
To seek out the light,
and yet fall again.

What can I do,
how can I recollect,
those days spent well,
before this insurmountable descent?

Can I ride 'til there is nothing but wind; try to escape it all?
Can I try harder and succeed; to do anything of worth?
Could I rely upon your strength; find humility in earnest?
Could I trust and walk forward; be caught when I stumble?

Thoughts of despair;
Lies which scream for attention.
Felt tension in the air:
Thick, restraining forward motion.

But there is light, there is truth,
and what-else these were but lies.
May such curses be forgotten,
could you open my inner eyes?

O that my soul would see,
the beauty, majesty, supreme splendor of your grace.
And everything within me turn;
with whole heart to seek your face.

Can I do anything?
The answer seems to condemn.
But by your strength, and all good hope,
a faith with which to stride;
may these steps be established,
your spirit always be my guide.

SMS Novel 1: Poetry of the Night

YO!

Yesterday I was just about to go to sleep when suddenly!

From the shadows on the wall beside my bed emerged a creature of the dark!!

It was about 2.5 inches long!!!!

It had hundreds of legs!!!!!!

It

Was

Beside

My

Bed

...



Nearly Died.



I made an immediate plan in my head.

Slowly move the bed frame from the wall to expose the beast.

Grab an empty envelope from the bedside table.

Approach calmly

Position the envelope 2 or 3 inches from the monster

And




BAM!!!!!

SMACK THE ENVELOPE ONTO IT'S HIDEOUS BODY!!



The beast wiggled and squirmed beneath the force of the folded paper



It wasn't dead. O.o


*deep breath*

I need to kill this.

Only one thing to do...





Press harder.

*gulp*

Here we go...




#CRUNCH!#

The deafening noise of the beast's exoskeleton cracking beneath the weight of justice!





And then there was silence, save for the racing pounding beat of the killer's remorseless heart.

It was finished.

The enemy utterly defeated.

The residents of 1817 Leblanc* could rest their heads in peace this evening.


But still,

The fear in the back of their minds.



Were there more?



They'd have to hope for the best as they entrust themselves to the warmth of their dinosaur blankee.

Sweet dream young slayer of evil.

Sweet dreams.





~FIN~

Written March 12th 2015 over 42 text messages. Based on a true story.
*address changed for this reproduction

D.Fa

When The Going

Yo.

I won't lie, these last few weeks have been crazy for various reasons. In the height of school work my application for an internship position next year was declined. And I needed to get over it immediately so I could continue to help out those around me / finish my school work and actually graduate. One thought was that "if I let this ruin my graduation I'll never get over it". But God is good and actually got me over the bulk of it. He provided scriptures to say 'I've got plans for you here and now. Wait upon me and in due time you'll see.' And if it was just up to me I'd have been really upset and rage quit a lot of things. I spent all night the day I was told praying and crying about it. A lot of whining and I was angry. But He got me through that.

Since then though I've had so much work to do on my undergrad thesis. I've actually woken pretty consistently early to go to Health Canada and to go to school and get things done. I've missed a bunch of meals and unfortunately I've ended up skipping out on a bunch of Bible time. To make things worse my wifi wasn't working a week ago or so, so I ended up using the entire month's data on youtube on my phone, so now I can't read the Bible on my phone on the bus, so I'd been having an excuse on those busy days.

It's a pretty dumb excuse though.

I used to always have like 4 print bibles in my bag at all times. Electronic bibles... haha

So I put it back in my bag and am just reading chronologically from where I left off in Numbers. Some things that happen are so crazy. I don't really know what I've been learning though.

I've also been watching anime and hanging with RN. I moved back to my parents'. I had awesome times with BGTD for easter brunch and egg hunt and doing some work for my previous boss.

I'll be sure to ttyl.

D.Fa

Plato is a Cool Guy.

Yo.

So, I really don't know all that much about Plato. My first encounter was probably actually sometime back in highschool. My friends AdSB and ML frequently talked Philosophy and History. And maybe a few years ago in Asia DP and myself had a talk with a guy about 'the cave' and I learned a bit about Platonic forms? However, my real first time actually talking about him and learning about him was very briefly last semester in my philosophy of the self and personal identity. We briefly talked about his view of dualism, the mind being the soul and the body being a sort of cage for it. But yes, we only briefly talked about that as we learned of Locke's thoughts on the memory criterion.

This semester I am taking a class on Critical Thinking and Argument analysis and evaluation.
What a great class to take.
Indeed. Yesterday we looked at Plato's The Republic: Book IV.
I've heard about that! What was it like?
It was interesting to actually read some Plato. He writes in this odd dialogue format, which I was thinking about and it seems as though it strengthens his arguments just by making it seem like someone else agrees with him.
Yes, it certainly does.

Anyways, this book was all about what a just and perfect city would look like and how that would also relate to a just and perfect person. Plato saw the city as having three general classes / occupations: workmen/producers (all skilled trades and works); warriors/auxiliaries (to defend the city); and rulers/philosopher kings (ruling wisely). He spoke of how each of these divided classes corresponds to a virtue. The rulers with wisdom; the warriors with courage; and the workmen with moderation, meaning that they are to be content in their situation with being ruled by those who are wiser than they. Justice, as Plato put it, was that everyone was to practice one of the occupations in the city which they are most suited to. When everything is in order as it should be, that is justice. For a class to desire another class or to try and do more than one occupation is to cause chaos and practice injustice.

This he corresponds to the soul. That the soul has three parts. These three parts he referred to as the appetites, the spirit, and reason. Appetites always desiring their selfish desires; reason trying to keep the appetites in check and to rule over the soul; and the spirit being the part that follows reason and fights for justice either being angry when not treated justly or content when justly dealt with. Again, justice being when everything is in proper order. A person is healthy when his soul is in order.

Plato apparently doesn't like democracy, which he gets to in book VIII, for when those who are wise and can rule to properly keep us all in check of moderation all will be better. The whole city will be happier. while in democracy the people, who are properly represented, chase their appetites regardless of what the better ultimate good could be.

Anyways, Plato says a lot of stuff which is really Biblical. One case is just at the end after he has explained what justice and injustice would look like the question comes up: "So it now remains, it seems, to inquire whether it is more profitable to act justly, live in a fine way, and be just, whether one is known to be so or not, or to act unjustly and be unjust, provided that one doesn't pay the penalty and become better as a result of punishment."

The answer was "But, Socrates, this inquiry looks ridiculous to me now that justice and injustice have been shown to be as we described. Even if one has every kind of food and drink, lots of money, and every sort of power to rule, life is thought to not be worth living when the body's nature is ruined. So even if someone can do whatever he wishes, except what will free him from vice and injustice and make him acquire justice and virtue, how can it be worth living when his soul--the very thing by which he lives--is ruined and in turmoil?" (emphasis mine)

This sounds so similar to something Jesus said. "For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?" Matt16:26. Directly afterwards He speaks of how He will come back in judgement dealing to each as their deeds require. Directly before speaks of how much more worth it is to lose one's life for the sake of the gospel and Jesus' name.

What does this all mean to me? Hmmm. To be willing to follow after our wise and eternal King Jesus despite what I may desire, knowing that He knows best for me? hmm.

May God help me to trust in Him more and more and by His Spirit empower me to moderation and self-control.

D.Fa

PS. Another thought was on the division of the soul in relation to the three biblical divisions of heart, mind, and soul. Idk what that'd look like exactly, but it seems to correspond well with our sinful flesh led by appetites, our renewed knowledge and reason in Christ, and our spirit which agrees with the Holy Spirit. But idk enough to write all about that. haha

Hatred

Yo.

So, the other day I was at a discussion group and we had been talking about Christianity and how hypocritical Christians can be sometimes (ultimate answer here was people are people, not perfect) and one guy kinda shared a story of something. I don't remember exactly what he said, but one thing was that he used to swear quite a bit, but now that he is following Jesus that has really been an active change and when he sees others swear using God's name he hates it.

He hates when others take the Lord's name in vain were actually his words.

And that was just crazy to me to think. Although I get the idea and that it's a commandment, it's just hate is a very strong word, eh? I don't know.

I feel like this may be something I need to grow more in: hating sin.

The truth of the Bible is that although God is love and good, He hates sin (disobedience, rebellion, selfishness, etc.) and is just to punish all who have sinned, which is everyone. However, in His love for His creation, He gives us a way to be forgiven and take our punishment by sending Jesus to the cross, dying in our place. Any who don't take that gracious forgiveness in Jesus still deserve wrath and so will be punished.

So, we are to share this great news of saving grace to others and to live lives worthy of the call of God.

"For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good." Titus 2:11-14 NIV

In Romans Paul says he wishes they be wise in good and innocent in evil.

We are to love God and hate sin, turning from it back to God.

And I definitely have been convicted by the Spirit in the past of my sin and of how bad it is, but sometimes I feel like hate is a really too strong word for how I feel towards sin. I'm tempted to believe sin isn't actually bad and to turn from God back to selfish choices, which will lead me further and further towards destruction and away from truly experiencing God's goodness.

So I need more hatred towards sin. Even a speck of sin is too much. 

May the Spirit of holiness and power work to grow a hatred for that which God hates. May He empower me and strengthen me to fight the battles I must, and the grace to keep me from as many as possible. May He help me love Him more and shape my heart and desires after His own.

D.Fa

Skin Diseases.

Yo.

Sometimes when I read the Bible the situations are just too perfect and match what I am reading so well. Sometimes this can be really encouraging, and other times it can be really convicting to see how I'm not living the way I should.

I'm not all that sure which category this fits into, but on Wednesday night I decided I should go to a clinic the next morning. I had discovered a small cut that appeared to be infected and so I took to google to try and figure out what I could do about it. In my search I had determined that it was most likely a staphylococcus infection (as characterized by a red, warm, painful area around the wound). However, I began to get a bit more worried than normal.

I'd usually just brush off a cut or whatever, but it had been getting bigger for a couple days and I was going away for the weekend. As I searched Google I found that some strains of staph can cause serious problems and was reminded of my mother who had a serious infection a number of years ago. So, I wasn't just going to sit around this time.

I went in and was in the waiting room for a good while. So I decided to read some Bible and try to catch up on my reading plan a bit.

It just so happened to be Leviticus 13.

That chapter is all about "defiling skin diseases" and molds. > .>

So, sitting in a waiting room to have a doctor check out my skin infection, I was reading a chapter about how serious the Israelites had to be about skin diseases. If there was a rash or infection or sore or boil or burn or swelling, anything, you had to go to the priest and he'd inspect the color of the hair and stuff, maybe put you in quarantine for a week, check again, and judge whether it was a bad skin disease or a passing one. If it was bad you were unclean and needed to be separated from the assembly and all the Israelites and go live alone until you get better.

What a fun chapter to read.

The doctor said it wasn't the virulent strain (indicated by red lines going outwards from the infection) and gave me a prescription for antibiotics. 4 times a day for a week. Ok.

I'm thankful for all of these medical services we have in Canada.

Wouldn't it be weird to go to your pastor and ask about a rash?

Not too sure what this all means though. Haha

Ttyl

D.Fa

Sharing a Kitchen

Yo,

Random thought. I was thinking about food because I was having a snack and it reminded me of a former housemate who often ate similarly. The thought was, although I don't remember all of the specifics of many of the conversations I had with my housemates over the years, I remember the foods they ate quite clearly.

In first year I had 4 housemates. One ate frozen raspberries, lots of chicken breasts, plantains, chickpeas, and protein shakes all the time. Another often ate the food I made him or that we made together (he taught me to grate my carrots), ate out, or ate food his parents gave him. A third had heart-shaped toast on his birthday, had kraft dinner with hotdogs the first day I moved in (this is where I learned it from), and had the sweet chilli chicken sauce. The last also had the KD, but I don't remember too many of his meals... One time a friend came over and we ate piles of chicken nuggets from McDonald's. Haha

In second year I had 4 different housemates. One ate hagelslag, had cereal every morning, brewed his own beers, and cooked delicious pasta. Another had Korean food from his parents (seaweed soup, kimchi, etc.), cooked a really garlicky pasta once, and can really chow down on KBBQ. Haha. The third grew a liking for onions, ate spam regularly, made great garlic and steamed bok choy, and regularly ate steak and white rice. The last would never microwave a plastic container, loved Pirate cookies (where I discovered them), ate sky flakes all the time, and often let vegetables go bad in the fridge.

In third/fourth year I had 2 housemates. The one almost never cooked. Nearly never. He would mostly eat KFC and Swiss Chalet and Pizza Pizza. He did however also make hamburgers. He always had random candies or sweets and his favourite were Hersey's hugs kept chilled in the fridge. Oh. And he always had orange juice in the fridge. Maybe drank 4L each week. The other housemate regularly cooked fish and had rice with it. He also would marinate cut meat and cook it. He used sesame oil and always had bananas in his room.

This year I have three housemates. One is just learning how to cook things. He has a penchant for hot sauces, death sauces as we call them. His most common meals are vermicelli noodles with chicken, carrots, and frozen vegetables; kraft dinner with frozen vegetables; and frozen pizzas. He almost never thaws food before cooking it and usually freezes leftovers. The second housemate is often too busy with phone calls to stop and cook. He has often burnt grilled cheese, and puréed scrambled eggs, and often leaves things cooking while he walks away. He enjoys pasta, cheese sandwiches, and boiling eggs. The last is very particular. He mostly gets groceries from Costco and has dinner on average at 10 pm. He often cooks chilli, fish, and stir fry. All accompanied with white rice. He frequently drinks milk even without food. And uses many spices when preparing fish.

I've also had a bunch of housemates on mission trips and stuff, but I won't get too into that. One guy loved choco pies, couldn't eat duck, and disliked durian. Another guy ate like 3 eggs each breakfast and hated carbs. Another loved this one brand of orange juice.

It's pretty funny to think about how they each ate. Needless to say there were always wars regarding dirty dishes. That will never change with a dish washer or without.

I wonder how people remember my cooking? Haha

Ttyl.

D.Fa

Partnership

Yo.

A few days ago I got to see something really beautiful. Although I guess I knew it was happening, I hadn't really understood how great it was until I saw it in person. I had nothing scheduled, so when I was invited I decided to go.

Saturday afternoon a friend of mine got married to his beautiful fiancée. It was in this big church that had a lot of exposed wood in the beams and panels, it was spacious and bright, it had simple and elegant colors. All of the wedding party was well dressed and there were flowers and a great ceremony. But the best part of it, as always, was that both the bride and groom don't put each other as the most important thing in their lives; Jesus is the center of their lives. The pastor explained how he saw this in both of them and how that is truly the basis of a great marriage; a partnership in the gospel and seeking God's kingdom and righteousness first. Singing songs to our mighty and gracious God and asking Him to be glorified through their lives, wherever He sends them. The vows were also striking. In the vows both bride and groom said the same thing, but what was more striking was how at the end of the vows they said they wouldn't be able to live up to these promises but would confess shortcomings and talk it through together, showing grace as God has shown them.

As beautiful as that was, and it really was, I was actually more struck by another event.

Friday evening I had been invited to go to the Chinese Young Adult group at my church. It was great getting to meet and talk with a bunch of new friends who were international students, but by far the best part was seeing the way the leaders were working together in harmony to share the gospel with them. Some of the students led worships songs and small group discussions, and some of the aunties and uncles on the Chinese congregation led the main study, shared testimony, prepared food, were warm and inviting. It was so awesome to see this. In general my picture of the Chinese congregation had been less than flattering, but this was really encouraging to see how God is really working through them. On Sunday I picked up the 2014 annual report, and what I had forgotten is that some of the Chinese young adults had been baptized just after Christmas. Not only is God using this ministry to really unite and build up the Chinese congregation for gospel ministry, He is also bearing fruit through them and it's just so beautiful to see.

By far the greatest and most beautiful partnership is that between God and the church; Him choosing and loving us, and us now forgiven and redeemed from sin submitting to His gracious will and perfect plans for our lives. And together working that all may know His grace.

As it says in Ephesians, marriage is a picture of God's relationship with the church:

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”  This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Ephesians 5:25-33 NIV

未来人

This post has somewhat spoilers for certain anime series. You've been warned.

For a large portion of this evening I was watching anime with one of my housemates. It is now one of my favourite anime series. It is called Steins;Gate. It started off really weird and confusing, but now it's all coming together and I'm really seeing the value in everything that had happened in the first few episodes.

One of the key elements in this anime is the concept of time travel. The anime opens it's first episode with a monologue about the difference between infinite and finite and from there out we start the see the effects that playing with time can have on material, relationships, and the world.

The idea to be able to go back and fix mistakes arose. If you could, would you? Have you heard of the butterfly effect? If you make action small change in the past it could have huge effects on the future. What if you knew fixing that mistake would cause more trouble for others? Would you still do it?

This is a concept that I've encountered before. I've seen my fair share of time travelers (未来人 miraijin) in anime.

In 'The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi' there is a time traveler who has come back to interact with the main character which could have huge lasting impacts. Some of her future contemporaries say they should make an action and see what happens, others are much more cautious and would rather observe.

In 'Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magica', for the sake of saving those she loves, one of the characters has gone back in time again and again, but merely causes that person more and more pain and suffering because they are forced to relive the ordeal.

And here in Steins;Gate we see a very similar thing, except a lot more drawn out and time does move forward bit by bit.

But one thing that these characters can do, with time traveling abilities, is to try something and if it goes wrong, go back and try something different. If the outcome is still wrong, they can fix it.

I see this as something which would be very helpful to have.

I do not like making mistakes. If I could go back and fix them, I feel like I really would want to. But additionally, when I don't know what to do to move forward, what decision to make, it'd be great to be able to know that I could make one decision and then if it is a mistake I can go back and make a different decision.

But I can't.

I feel like I need to do something.

But I can't.

What if it's a mistake?

...

I know I shared this a while ago, but it's still one of my favourite short films: "Ctrl Z" http://youtu.be/XvvimYZScN0.

'You can't undo mistakes you have made, you can only repent and make up for them. So don't let that make you live in fear. That itself is a mistake.'

'Perfect love drives out all fear'

Hmmmmmmmm.

I pray that God would give me a heart that earnestly seeks after His plans, that trusts in His plans, and is willing to turn from selfish ambition and to follow humbly even on a road of sacrifice.

May we live lives honoring to God as we travel forward in time unto eternity.

Practically a Library

I feel like I start a lot of things and don't finish them.

I have countless books in my list of books to read. But it's not just that I'm not reading them (which is definitely part of the issue) but the ones I do start I don't finish. I just took a tally of the physical books I have in my room that I intend to read. 13 I have read previously, 10 unread, and 12 which I have started, but not finished.

That's quite a bit.

One of my goals this year is to read 12 books (excluding the Bible, which I also intend to read through this year). To do this I'd been planning to put aside an hour or so before bed each day... I really haven't been doing that... and until yesterday I had completed 0 books.

Yesterday I went to my parents' house and did some housework and spent time with my parents just hanging out, nothing special. While there I picked up my mail and part of it was a book I had ordered (I know, eh? Me, ordering books?? The problems with having a visa debit card). It had been highly recommended to me and I couldn't get one here. On Amazon it was 6 dollars (plus shipping because apparently all books are from the UK) so I bought it.

The book is titled "Is God anti-gay? And other questions about homosexuality, the Bible and same-sex attraction" by Sam Allberry. Only 85 pages. It was a good book and I'll write more of my thoughts on it later, but it was really good hearing from a pastor who struggles with SSA and he didn't get into too much detail about personal experiences or anything, but what he did say was really true of my experiences. He also went over the Biblical passages and again without going into too much detail did a great job of explaining the Biblical point of view. It was encouraging to read and a good reminder of how God calls everyone to repentance.

Anyways, ttyl.

D.Fa

Questions of Indentity: Solved by IPP?

Yo guys,

I don't think I almost ever tell you guys about my classes. haha. Why would you want to know about complex biochemistry things?

Today in my Applied and Environmental Microbiology class our professor was giving us an example of what our seminars later in the semester would look like. He was giving some background information on Protein-Protein Interaction (PPI) and methods to determine them and what that means. Proteins are chains of amino acids which often perform a function in a complex of proteins (such as polymerase complexes (for making DNA or RNA) which have numerous subunits (individual proteins)). This is an example of multiple proteins interacting and together performing a function. Part of the reason we look at these PPIs is to better understand the protein itself and its functions.

He gave an example which, for me, took this class about proteins and turned it into a Philosophical question about the meaning of self and personality.

He said: there is a new face in your class. You've never communicated with them, however, you've observed them talking to a lot of 3rd year biology students, to a biology TA, to some biology professors, and to biology admin people. Based on these interactions with other people, although you've never talked to them, you can assume that they are a 3rd year biology student.

In another situation, for example, a soccer field, interacting with coaches, referees, other players, and fans, that person is now functioning as a soccer player. And again, at their house, interacting with wife, and children, he is functioning as a father.

Just like people who change functions based on their environments and factors, so proteins can have multiple functions given their interactions with other proteins.

Forget proteins. You just said people act differently given environment and other people. 1 person, many functions. For a second this made me think of dissociative identity disorder (where multiple personalities (or 'alters') actually reside in a single body although highly different in character). But I think it is something more simple.

People are complex.

You act differently with different people and do function differently in different situations. It doesn't however, change who you are at the core. In highschool I often acted more reserved with my academic friends, while much more outgoing and ridiculous with friends from drama. Simply the depth of personality and the many different facets of who you are come out depending on the situation.

I once also read a quote by C.S. Lewis on the loss of a friend (I think it was in 'The Four Loves' in the section on friendship, talking about how friendship isn't jealous, having more friends is better). Not only had his friend passed away, but the way that friend brought out different parts of his other friends was also now gone. Clearly showing how people affect how we act.

Additionally, the idea of Paul becoming all things to all people so that by all means he might save some. I don't think this is to be fake, but to honestly bring out those different parts of who you are or could be for the sake of the good news going to all peoples. (1 Cor9:19-23)

This morning I read Genesis 12 and in the first couple verses God speaks to Abram and makes his promise that through him and as he is blessed all nations will be blessed. I see this also in Eph1:3 where it says that i Christ we are blessed with every spiritual blessing.

As we have been blessed, let us be all things to all people, that the blessing of God may fall on those around us (instead of the wrath originally designated to each of us as we were separate from Christ's redemption)!




Overall, I guess, this is to say, people are complex. haha. We have numerous gifts and talents. As we find and place our identity in Christ (as it rightly belongs since were were made in His image) let us use them in numerous situations to make friends and share Christ, for God's glory and the salvation of the nations.

D.Fa

Seeking the Lost

Luke 15. Jesus talks of three parables, three hypothetical stories, which show a shepherd, a lady, and a father losing and, in the end, finding what was lost: a single sheep out of 100; a silver coin; and a rebellious son.

These parables were in response to the Pharisees and others grumbling at how Jesus spent so much time with sinners. At the end of the first he explains how there would be more rejoicing by the angels in heaven over a single sinner who repents. At the end of the second, again, he says that there would be much joy at a sinner who repents. He doesn't say anything at the end of the third story, and this may be because the second son of the father was still lost and he was making a point, but I digress, I will not delve into this today. Feel free to read it for yourselves: http://www.esvbible.org/Luke+15/

The point though, to answer their question, is that Jesus spends time with sinners because he is trying to save them. Other passages he says this directly. In another conversation with the Pharisees in Luke 5:31-32 (also Mark 2:17; Matthew 9:12-13) he says "It is not those who are well who need a physician, but those who are sick. I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance." Similarly in John 3:17 (after that famous verse) he says "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him."

In Luke 19:10 (also Matthew 18:11) speaking of himself he says, "For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost."

I've heard this a number of times: Jesus came to seek and save the lost. As Isaiah 53 said, we have all gone astray and he came, was punished on our behalf, and by his wounds we may be healed and restored.

But what blew my mind the other day as I was reading the Bible is that this doesn't apply simply to Jesus, but also God the Father.

I was reading Genesis and found the first time God was seeking the lost: Genesis 3:9 "But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”" After Adam and Eve had eaten the fruit and went to hide God sought them out.

This only further shows me the truth that is recorded in John 10:30 "I and the Father are one". Hebrews 1:3a "The Son is the radiance of God's glory and the exact representation of his being". Col 1:15a "He is the image of the invisible God".

God has always been about the business of seeking and saving the lost since the very first disobedience, and from then he also promised the redemption through Christ in Genesis 3:15.

May He continue to seek and save the lost, opening eyes that we may all see His glory more, and making us new; restoring us in the image of God which He had made us in.

D.Fa

New Year

It's funny what the prospect of a new year does to our motivation and our mentality. Everyone starts to think about what they will change in the new year and eagerly await January 1st when they can begin these resolutions.

While New Years is days off, no one will start anything new because they are waiting for that special day.

While New Years is days past, no one will start anything new because they now feel defeated an unmotivated since they missed their big day.

What is this New Years thing? You can start something new any day of the week. Why does i have to be New Years? I think it is because it is mentally easier to make the distinction between what was past and what is future at Day 1 of a new year.

Let us make today, and everyday a new day!

If there is something you need to leave behind, do it! If there is something you need to start, do it! We'll make mistakes as we try new things, but you have to start somewhere or you never will do anything about it.

This year I have yet to solidify exactly what my resolutions are, partially because I have so many things I want to do. But then yesterday I was on a train for 5 hours as well as having only half an hour of sleep the night before, the day was essentially a waste of time. So I kinda felt unmotivated today, but God is good. Let's look forward and count today as the new day and everyday after as well.

Previous failures: forgiven in Jesus; long past and paid for.
Future triumphs: waiting for me in the Spirit as I am more than a conqueror in Christ.
Newness: in Christ we are made into new creations; the old is gone the new is come; now.
Eternal Life: knowing God and Jesus Christ whom He has sent; daily.

I hope to blog more this year since it does help me remember all that God has done and look forward to all He has promised to do. I also intend to not be on the computer after 10pm, so, this'll be the last time until 2016, hopefully. xP

Ttyl.

D.Fa

Prayerful Revival

This morning I got some time to pray alone. I need more of that.

The other day in church the message was on the greatest commandments: loving God and others. The overall summary was we need to be intentional in loving God and out of that will an intentional love for others just flow naturally.

I need more intentional time with God.

I had really not intended to go to an outreach during the duration of this conference. I figured I was in no place to be preaching to others when I need so much time to work on my own relationship with God. But today God helped me to just choose to follow Him, trust His promises of forgiveness, and to obey His command to go with the gospel.

I hadn't signed up for city outreach. But I felt I should go. I was waiting to see if there was room on the bus for me. There was exactly one free spot left. And so I sat down at the back of the bus and prayed. It was so good. God really broke my heart for those around me and those we were going to. I then wrote down the following:

"The utter grace and majesty felt as you step fully into the hands of God.

I know I am fully unworthy of this chance to help God change the lives of people and families and communities; bringing eternity to the lives of thousands. Who am I to be a minister of reconciliation?

Coming completely empty to God and praying, begging, beseeching him to work in amazing ways in us and in the lives of everyone who we get to talk to.

Who am I to be a role model for others? Only by God's grace. But if I am relying upon his grace even now, that is an example to follow, eh? But again, only by His graces am I here now.
               
UTM. So much joy, overwhelming, when I speak of UTM. God is so great.

Seeing two buses of students go to the world with the gospel; the lost and unreached world with the gospel; ministers equipped and empowered by the gracious and mighty Holy Spirit at or in them.

May your Fire Fall Down on us this day. May we overflow with thanksgiving and praise as we take your grace to the nations.

Utter reliance upon an unchanging, loving, gracious, Father God.

May Your name be praised and exalted this day in this place and these hearts.

Amen."

The People

It's been a few days at the conference now. Well, I guess it's only technically day 2 of the conference. I got here a day early though.

Was really good catching up with HK and his girlfriend. We got to go to Richmond Hill Community Christian Church English service and I got to catch up with AC and his girlfriend, as well JC and BL.

But maybe the best part was Registration. I was in the line pretty much from 1 til 5 blending in as an intern. I got to briefly see and catch up with tons of the guys I knew, as well as help a bunch of people with housing cases, fund raising, and luggage carrying as well as other things. Some of this for random people. XP. It was so much fun. I had nothing else to do. I was free. I was able to serve.

In this situation I imagined and finally saw a taste of what serving others could look like in the context of ministry. To be so free that I could just help them in any way. Able to be fully released to care as needed and help organize and encourage others.

Honestly though there's pretty much nothing at this conference that I was really looking forward to other than seeing all of the people: old friends; new friends; amazing people on fire for Jesus. Ironically I'm not spending much time with Carleton.

There's no time for anything though.

I went to seminars today about marriage, new database technology, and biblical manhood.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

Application.

During the summer I was writing in a pseudo blog notebook and, although I have yet to reread it, one thing that I remember definitely having written is that when it comes to the Bible I shouldn't approach it so much as "I've read this already" or "I know this already" but more like "have I applied this yet?"

Also during the summer I had been reading "Knowing God" by J.I. Packer. I was about to continue reading it and to brief myself I was rereading the underlined parts. This is from page 20: "God is triune; there are within the Godhead three persons, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit; and the work of salvation is one in which all three act together, the Father purposing redemption, the Son securing it and the Spirit applying it.

Application.

This is one part of Bible study that I think I am not as great in. I am fairly good at seeing the point of different passages, I can see connections, and by God's grace I have been blessed with a great memory of verses as well as often being privileged to be God's mouthpiece. But when it comes to applying verses to my own life it becomes a lot more challenging.

Sometimes I think I just don't take that time to think and pray through what it means in my life. Sometimes I think in the past I've been somewhat judgemental of how sometimes people jump to application completely out of context such as Phil 4:13 or Jer 29:11 and so I try to avoid doing that.

But the issue here is James.

1:22-25 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.

2:17 In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

Theory and understanding are not enough. There needs to be application. But the application cannot come from us. As Packer said the application of salvation comes from the Spirit at work in us.

May this increase. May His Spirit work more and more in me.

Sing a New Song

Today's song of encouragement is Lifeline by Hillsong Young & Free

http://youtu.be/m8tKjIvvmvY

One thing I'd been thinking lately is "Why do I give so much value to music and not as much to the Bible?"

Now in no way do I mean to say that I don't value the Bible. I do think that it is God's word and that it is all that is needed for life on Christ. I think the Bible is authoritative and a source of hope and inspiration. A great great word of bad news and even greater good news.

But as I am right now, I go to Hillsong when I am in a bad mood, rather than to the Bible.

And I think there are some reasons for it, but I think I also do need to go to the Word of truth more, especially when the main reason I am feeling down is a lie that I am dwelling on too much.

The last time I was down I prayed for a second and then got to work on my homework. The only thing I can do then is to choose music to listen to while doing it. I often listen to anime or game original soundtracks when studying or cramming because it's usually something really intense. Haha. But the ones I'd been listening to recently had been pretty melancholy in tone. And I think I am easily affected by that. So I chose some music that'd make me feel better: Hillsong.

In addition to simply 'I don't have time, I need to multitask', I think another reason is that I really do typically connect to God a lot more deeply through music.

But ya, I need to make sure I am renewing my mind in Christ all the time and taking these thoughts captive.

Pray for me. XP

D.Fa