He's Musical. :)

Hey there. :)

It's been another crazy week learning and growing? Maybe? :P 

I'm still not mad or angry or anything about that last guy I had been seeing. I do think it was the right choice in the end, whether he was the one to say it, or me, to end it at some point. It was exciting. It was fun. It was great. He was patient. But now I keep comparing how things are going with this new guy I'm seeing. :)

Basically, the day after I stopped seeing him, I got back on the apps and started swiping again. I ended up matching with this guy. I sent him a message and he ended up replying. :) But then he stopped replying? I just wanted to meet up in person and, like, talk, get to know each other, y'know? It was a long weekend and he said he was free, but then he wasn't? I got really attached to the thought of meeting him, and the lack of replies whenever I'd message him was kinda starting to drive me insane. :P I feel like my messages were starting to come off as pushy. :( And I wanted to see him so badly, but if he wasn't replying there was nothing I could really do. :( My coworker was starting to get real pessimistic with me. :P "a lot of guys are just gonna ghost you," "just cause you're gay doesn't mean there aren't going to be jerks," etc. It was almost a week before we finally met up. Which, isn't crazy, honestly. It might just have been because my expectations set by the last guy were a little unreasonable (one week was half of our time seeing each other and we texted constantly), but like, I really didn't want to miss out on this chance.

And yo. He's so sweet. :)

And, like I said, there's a lot of comparing in my head between the first guy I ever saw, and this new guy (I'm just gonna call him S for now). I feel like that's normal? Especially with like, a sample size of 2. In a lot of ways I feel like S is so much better for me. We're actually coming from very similar backgrounds and like are thinking through similar issues? Like S is actually pretty open to religion and thinking through what it would mean to be gay and to worship God. He's been through a bunch of stuff too and is coming to accept himself aside from what the people around him want of him. He's musical. He's so sweet and caring. :) I see so much long term potential with S compared to the last guy. I think it will be a slower process, but maybe the last guy, despite stating that he didn't want to go too fast, was actually kinda pushing the envelope? :P

I saw S a couple days ago. Over the course of our 6-hour date, I ended up getting his phone number, we got bubble tea, we walked around, we sat by the river, we walked around more. :P We sat on a bench in a park. He leaned in and showed me all his photos he'd taken. We didn't hold hands, but like, we kinda almost fell asleep on that bench, my arm around him, his head on my shoulder, my head on his shoulder. :) When he leaned into that it made me so happy. :)) We set up a second date for Sunday. At the end of the night he mentioned that he had previously agreed to see someone else on Friday. :/ He is a man of his word and didn't want to back out. So I had to reluctantly be ok with that. :P I'd only just met him. Y'know? I can't tell him not to see other people.

Despite saying he's not much of a texter, S has been texting me so much. :))) He cancelled his meeting with that other guy. :)))) And he invited me to have dinner with him and a friend from out of town whose flight was delayed by a day. So I'm gonna go meet with them in a minute. :P

I'm very happy. :P 

I did get an email from a concerned Auntie from church who was just asking how I've been since they haven't seen me in months. :/ So I need to figure out how to reply to that.

But it's fine. :P 

Anyways, I've got to go see S. :)

Ttyl.

D.Fa

PS. He had this song stuck in his head all day on our date. haha