Iron Sharpened by Him

May I just say that patience in love is very difficult?

It has now been a year and a half since I started living downtown with a friend of mine. At the time that I moved in, honestly, I didn't really know him too well. All I knew is that he was aware of the burdens I was bearing, he acknowledged that it kinda made him uneasy, but that he was willing to live together and be there if needed. I made a conscious choice that I would love him as a brother and be there in any way he needed me to be there for him.

I learned that I am definitely not an introvert at the core, although in many other ways we were very similar. I wanted to be able to relate better and use secular things as a way of connecting. I think in general this is a good way of getting to know friends better, learning what they like and being willing to appreciate it to some extent. I also shared some of the things from my childhood, like Maple Story cards. :P But there's only so many ways to build decks when I only have like 100 cards.

Early on it became apparent that he was having difficulty in various ways in trusting God in his life. And I was really in no position to tell him what to do. I also reeeeeally hate confrontation, so I didn't want to do anything that would force him away or make him hate me. I had kinda felt like he was keeping his distance because of my struggles, which was fine. It just felt very lonely and kinda enhanced the feeling of monstrosity I often feel towards myself.

As time went on though, I was and am very glad that we have become better friends and brothers. I feel like we both kinda tend to hold a lot back until it kinda just explodes and overflows. The problem being that he generally dislikes my asking if something is wrong, and I generally lean towards thinking things are wrong when they aren't. :P

Sometimes there were difficulties and we were there for each other. Sometimes there was nothing I could do, but pray. And God would do so much more than I could ask! Why I don't ask of Him more is unfortunate.

I am frequently encouraged by how he handles the problems around him. Even when he personally doesn't want to do something, his spirit is provoked by God, he acknowledges what God is saying to him, and he wrestles with it. I am honestly jealous of how intimate the conversations with God sound.

Most recently he's been reading biographies of missionaries. (I think I got him back into reading, influenced also by his long bus rides to work, but our pastor gave him the first of these recent books). And it just makes me really happy to see him struggle with their passion and willingness to sacrifice in service to God and others. It makes me so happy to see him desire to emulate that. It makes me so so happy that we can encourage each other and hold each other accountable and push each other forward to what God is calling us to.

Over the past year there are so many things I have tried to do to help him know God better, but I feel like the most effective things have always been what God did apart from my workings. I eagerly await the day when all sin and temptation fades away from both of us and we can stand shoulder to shoulder working for God's glory here and in other nations proclaiming His goodness in our lives and His faithfulness to fulfill all He has promised in this world.

Even if I never know the impact I actually have had on him, I'm just glad to have a brother who encourages me and is ready to call out sin in my life.

May we continue to grow in Him. May His kingdom come. May we be sent out. May love abound. May our hearts glorify God first and foremost.

Amen

PS. May I just say patience in love is very rewarding. ;P
PPS. I'm so tempted to just turn our friendship into intentional discipleship, but that hasn't worked so many times. But patiently living life trying to serve God and loving him and others seems to work. This is irritating to my desire to be the one who gets results, but yes, very rewarding in the long run, and MUCH more glorifying to God. :P