Yo,
it's Christmas eve. That's cool. It's also super weird for a lot of reasons. Aside from the fact that it was like 16 degrees today and sunny, there;s a number of other things. Normally at this time I'd be wrapping presents. Or 'presents'. bwahaha. But today my brother's boyfriend was coming over so I had to be all ready for today. So I actually get to go sleep in a minute. =D
Something normal though, every Christmas eve for a long time now me and my brother would get to open a present. It was always clothes to be worn the next day when our grandparents came over. Today I got a really nice sweater. And my dad explained that it was 'conditional' upon my complete destruction of my other sweater. You know, the black and grey one. My sweater! Why does everyone hate it!? It still works fine!! =O
Nothing else to say really. I baked a lot these last couple days. Oh! I discovered Clean Bandit the other day during MishMashFM and I proceeded to listen to all of their music on Spotify and now I'm a little addicted. They are so cool! Combining electronic and classical music. The main group is a string quartet. So cool. They have a song literally about classical music vs electronic music called "Mozart's House". This one is my current repeating favourite song: Stronger
So cool yo. Looking forward to Urbana in a few days.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
PS. O . O is Jesus is 'new Adam' why is the church never called 'new Eve'..? Is that biblical? ..?
24.12.15
23.12.15
Supply and Demand
Yo,
today was crazy. I've been sleeping in a bit, knitting a lot, and resting a bit because I don't know when or how, but it seems I bruised by left heel bone or something like that. But it's getting pretty close to Christmas know and so I had to go out and buy a bunch of stuff for my mom as gifts for my dad. I thought this might take an hour or so, but the buses didn't come at the beginning so I had to walk like 20 minutes to get to Walmart, then I did catch the bus, but then discovered I needed to go downtown to get something. Overall I was out for maybe 4 and a half hours or so? And it was raining. Which is still strange.
This whole season is a bit strange to me. One of the youtubers that I subscribe to was speaking in his latest video about a thought he is pondering lately. Having been diagnosed with cancer and going through surgery he's been thinking a lot and this time he spoke about what defines you. For him a lot of it comes down to what you produce, what you make, and how you interact with others. This whole season on the other hand seems to be defining yourself based on what you desire or what you can buy for others; a cycle of supply and demand.
For me this gets confusing because I don't ever really know what I want.
Every year my dad asks for a Christmas list and I've been getting worse and worse at letting him know anything that I actually want. I usually end up giving everything away to others who'd need it more. Or I end up doing nothing with it. I am not good at receiving gifts. But even outside of what I would physically want, I don't even really know what I want in life y'know? Like dream job or aspirations or where I'd be in 10 years. I'm not very good with those questions either.
And then even when I think I want something, why do I want it? Is it me that really wants it? Do I want it because of an exterior pressure? Do I want it because it would make others happy? Do I want it just because I've been told I want it? Do I want it because I've fooled myself into thinking I want it? What do I want?
I'm unsure.
When it comes to more deep questions, I still don't really know and in this season of my life especially I seem to be really torn and conflicted between the spirit and the flesh, and I won't go into details, but it's extremely annoying. The two are not compatible and I must choose one or the other to really experience either. But to choose one is to leave the other. I know what I should choose. But I don't believe it fully.
May God truly show me how much more meaningful and complete a life it is to follow His Spirit in everything, how His steadfast love is better than anything life could offer; may He give me true desire and ambition for my joy and His glory; may His Spirit guide and empower me.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
PS. But yesterday I got to talk with Andrew Huang during the brief period that MishMashFM was a thing. He should come to Ottawa. haha
today was crazy. I've been sleeping in a bit, knitting a lot, and resting a bit because I don't know when or how, but it seems I bruised by left heel bone or something like that. But it's getting pretty close to Christmas know and so I had to go out and buy a bunch of stuff for my mom as gifts for my dad. I thought this might take an hour or so, but the buses didn't come at the beginning so I had to walk like 20 minutes to get to Walmart, then I did catch the bus, but then discovered I needed to go downtown to get something. Overall I was out for maybe 4 and a half hours or so? And it was raining. Which is still strange.
This whole season is a bit strange to me. One of the youtubers that I subscribe to was speaking in his latest video about a thought he is pondering lately. Having been diagnosed with cancer and going through surgery he's been thinking a lot and this time he spoke about what defines you. For him a lot of it comes down to what you produce, what you make, and how you interact with others. This whole season on the other hand seems to be defining yourself based on what you desire or what you can buy for others; a cycle of supply and demand.
For me this gets confusing because I don't ever really know what I want.
Every year my dad asks for a Christmas list and I've been getting worse and worse at letting him know anything that I actually want. I usually end up giving everything away to others who'd need it more. Or I end up doing nothing with it. I am not good at receiving gifts. But even outside of what I would physically want, I don't even really know what I want in life y'know? Like dream job or aspirations or where I'd be in 10 years. I'm not very good with those questions either.
And then even when I think I want something, why do I want it? Is it me that really wants it? Do I want it because of an exterior pressure? Do I want it because it would make others happy? Do I want it just because I've been told I want it? Do I want it because I've fooled myself into thinking I want it? What do I want?
I'm unsure.
When it comes to more deep questions, I still don't really know and in this season of my life especially I seem to be really torn and conflicted between the spirit and the flesh, and I won't go into details, but it's extremely annoying. The two are not compatible and I must choose one or the other to really experience either. But to choose one is to leave the other. I know what I should choose. But I don't believe it fully.
May God truly show me how much more meaningful and complete a life it is to follow His Spirit in everything, how His steadfast love is better than anything life could offer; may He give me true desire and ambition for my joy and His glory; may His Spirit guide and empower me.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
PS. But yesterday I got to talk with Andrew Huang during the brief period that MishMashFM was a thing. He should come to Ottawa. haha
21.12.15
Gold. Dark. Red. Clean. Green.
Yo.
A few weeks ago I was talking with a good friend of mine and we were walking and talking. She asked about an apologetics conference I had attended and my thoughts on it. I told her about one of the biggest things for me was the idea that people were not originally created as perfect creatures. Although God said good, even very good, he did not say perfect. And I explained how a number of times myself or others had explained the gospel with that as one of the points 'people were made perfect, but because of sin we became separated'. People would then ask questions about how we could be perfect and then be made to sin, etc. etc. But we were not perfect. Adam and Eve were good, but not perfect. We were never perfect and therefore, knowing we would fall short of His glory and perfection, God would have to do something to make a way for us to be reconciled to Him.
After I had said something along those lines, my friend was slightly astonished. She asked where I had learned that? (that people were made perfect) So I explained about how waaaaaaay back in Youth Fellowship our youth leader had given us these bracelets with 5 beads representing the gospel: gold - representing God and our relationship before the fall, how we were perfect and in perfect relationship with Him; dark - representing that fall into sin and impurity, brokenness, and corruption; red - representing Christ's blood on the cross which was shed to make a way for us to be reconciled; clean - representing our newness of life in Christ, righteousness white as snow, clean before God because of Christ's great exchange; and green - a growing relationship with God as we daily live following Him in spirit and truth.
Still astonished. I think she may have punched my arm. Probably not. She explained that the gold bead wasn't about people at all, but about God and about the streets of the new Jerusalem that was to come where we again would live in relationship with God. She said more than that, and she said it as if I was a 4 year old (she had learned much from the Child Evangelism Fellowship).
And my eyes were opened! Then I started thinking, maybe this is why I always thought I needed to be perfect before coming to God, because I thought perfection is what was needed to be in relationship with Him (as I had though Adam and Eve showed).
But in the Bible people are never spoken of as being perfect in their own ability. It goes on endlessly about how no one is righteous, not even one, none could stand before God, people feared angels, people thought they'd die in God's presence. People are not perfect, especially after the fall, but before too. In other places it does however refer to God as holy and perfect. (Lev20:26, Deut14:2, Josh24:19, Matt5:48, 1Pet1:16, etc.) and the streets of new Jerusalem, where God will be our light, as being golden. It also speaks of our need for repentance and to claim forgiveness in Christ, to deny ourselves and follow after Him.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
A few weeks ago I was talking with a good friend of mine and we were walking and talking. She asked about an apologetics conference I had attended and my thoughts on it. I told her about one of the biggest things for me was the idea that people were not originally created as perfect creatures. Although God said good, even very good, he did not say perfect. And I explained how a number of times myself or others had explained the gospel with that as one of the points 'people were made perfect, but because of sin we became separated'. People would then ask questions about how we could be perfect and then be made to sin, etc. etc. But we were not perfect. Adam and Eve were good, but not perfect. We were never perfect and therefore, knowing we would fall short of His glory and perfection, God would have to do something to make a way for us to be reconciled to Him.
After I had said something along those lines, my friend was slightly astonished. She asked where I had learned that? (that people were made perfect) So I explained about how waaaaaaay back in Youth Fellowship our youth leader had given us these bracelets with 5 beads representing the gospel: gold - representing God and our relationship before the fall, how we were perfect and in perfect relationship with Him; dark - representing that fall into sin and impurity, brokenness, and corruption; red - representing Christ's blood on the cross which was shed to make a way for us to be reconciled; clean - representing our newness of life in Christ, righteousness white as snow, clean before God because of Christ's great exchange; and green - a growing relationship with God as we daily live following Him in spirit and truth.
Still astonished. I think she may have punched my arm. Probably not. She explained that the gold bead wasn't about people at all, but about God and about the streets of the new Jerusalem that was to come where we again would live in relationship with God. She said more than that, and she said it as if I was a 4 year old (she had learned much from the Child Evangelism Fellowship).
And my eyes were opened! Then I started thinking, maybe this is why I always thought I needed to be perfect before coming to God, because I thought perfection is what was needed to be in relationship with Him (as I had though Adam and Eve showed).
But in the Bible people are never spoken of as being perfect in their own ability. It goes on endlessly about how no one is righteous, not even one, none could stand before God, people feared angels, people thought they'd die in God's presence. People are not perfect, especially after the fall, but before too. In other places it does however refer to God as holy and perfect. (Lev20:26, Deut14:2, Josh24:19, Matt5:48, 1Pet1:16, etc.) and the streets of new Jerusalem, where God will be our light, as being golden. It also speaks of our need for repentance and to claim forgiveness in Christ, to deny ourselves and follow after Him.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
20.12.15
Vulnerability
Yo,
So, it's nearly Christmas and I've been knitting a lot, so I'm running out of things that I actively want to watch while knitting, and aside from Beautiful Bones -- Sakurako's Investigation (excellent anime!), and the people I am subscribed to on youtube, and the new digimon anime (not very good in my opinion), I've needed to find some new things. Today I started watching some TED talks.
The first couple were about apleoanthropology and the origins of man and stuff like that related to cave paintings and Salem. The next was about public health and wealth distribution inequality and stats. Then I got to one that I had seen a couple times before, so I was about to skip over it. But I decided to watch it anyways.
It is titled "The Power of Vulnerability by Brene Brown". Feel free to watch it now before I spoil any of it. It is WELL worth your 18 minutes. I rarely, like really, RARELY rewatch anything. Seriously, I just liked the video and added it to a new public playlist called 'favourites' and I will very very likely watch it again.
I think there's a whole lot of great things that Dr. Brown says in her talk. Like a lot. Many things that cut me to my heart. Things that I 100% relate to in her own story. And so much of it I see as very biblical too. Loving yourself and others because of the worth Christ has shown us and grace He has given us. I find it very difficult to allow for uncertainty in what I do. And owning up to weakness keeps me distanced from others.
So ya, really great talk. May God help me to be more vulnerable and to experience His joy and goodness without numbing out all emotions.
"you know what, you're imperfect and you're wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging"
D.Fa
So, it's nearly Christmas and I've been knitting a lot, so I'm running out of things that I actively want to watch while knitting, and aside from Beautiful Bones -- Sakurako's Investigation (excellent anime!), and the people I am subscribed to on youtube, and the new digimon anime (not very good in my opinion), I've needed to find some new things. Today I started watching some TED talks.
The first couple were about apleoanthropology and the origins of man and stuff like that related to cave paintings and Salem. The next was about public health and wealth distribution inequality and stats. Then I got to one that I had seen a couple times before, so I was about to skip over it. But I decided to watch it anyways.
It is titled "The Power of Vulnerability by Brene Brown". Feel free to watch it now before I spoil any of it. It is WELL worth your 18 minutes. I rarely, like really, RARELY rewatch anything. Seriously, I just liked the video and added it to a new public playlist called 'favourites' and I will very very likely watch it again.
I think there's a whole lot of great things that Dr. Brown says in her talk. Like a lot. Many things that cut me to my heart. Things that I 100% relate to in her own story. And so much of it I see as very biblical too. Loving yourself and others because of the worth Christ has shown us and grace He has given us. I find it very difficult to allow for uncertainty in what I do. And owning up to weakness keeps me distanced from others.
So ya, really great talk. May God help me to be more vulnerable and to experience His joy and goodness without numbing out all emotions.
"you know what, you're imperfect and you're wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging"
D.Fa
18.10.15
An Element of Truth
I was watching a video on youtube by 2Veratasium (like a side channel for Veratasium that is just like rambling vlogs and personal blah blah (PS. Veratasium is a pretty sweet youtube channel that is super smart and is run by this physicist guy)) and I was thinking about various things while procrastinating and knitting.
The guy quoted Einstein. "There are only two ways to live your life; as though nothing is a miracle, or as if everything is." And the guy briefly talks on this point and I really enjoyed that video because it was just about how everything around us is amazing; science is amazing. Point: it made me remember last Saturday. Instead of having a real Young Adults Fellowship Bible Study time or whatever, a bunch of us just got together and hung out. Since I no longer needed to lead a discussion or anything I took out my laptop and got back to the task at hand: copy and pasting every single blog post into a word document so I could proofread and then count the word frequency for my Zipf adventure.
As I had mentioned previously, this Zipf mystery or whatever it should be properly referred to as, is amazing and I wanted to see it in action. My friend AS brought these chocolate chip cookies to the hang out. They were perfectly light and fluffy and melt-in-your-mouth amazing. As I'm copy and pasting, people start asking why, and I explain how amazing Zipf is and that I want to test it and a couple of the guys were well-learned in computer science and code and one thing led to another and then the two of them were spending an hour trying to convert an exported code text file of my blog into a useful format with only the words. They ended up coding like 2 screens worth of code which produced a page that had all of the content from my entire blog separated by year. =O Computer scientists are amazing. I was sitting there dumbstruck the entire time, but their fingers were flying and web pages of standard code were being referenced. Amazing. What would have taken me a week or two took them like an hour or so. Craziness.
The next day after church I was just amazed by so many things.
Weather
Botany
Computer Science
Linguistics
Knitting / Crochet
Math
Biology
etc.
even Policy Management
(Admittedly I have yet to properly understand the amazingness of political science, but we'll see. ;P)
And then a day later or maybe a few days everything can be terrible. My yarn gets tangled. Conflict with my housemates. Onset guilt for lack of academic productivity recently. Struggle with sin. Drop in temperature. Late buses.
Suddenly everything is terrible, when nothing had actually changed, but my attitude and lens to see life.
This makes me think all the more that it's true: when you see everything as amazing and miraculous things are awesome, and when you start to see everything as terrible things get pretty terrible.
James 1:17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
Everything we have is from God and it was made good. (Refer to Genesis 1.)
But what is doubly amazing here is that God is unchanging. In the midst of my continual and sudden changes He remains the same.
May He continue to help me build my foundation upon the solid rock of Christ. May He continue to open my eyes to the amazingness of His creation around me. May He continue to show me more of Him.
D.Fa out
PS. One of the things I was thinking about while watching Veritasium was about how I seem to be replacing a lack of social connection with youtube. Idk. Not good definitely. But the answer shouldn't be to simply cut it off. I need to replace youtube with real people. ttyl
The guy quoted Einstein. "There are only two ways to live your life; as though nothing is a miracle, or as if everything is." And the guy briefly talks on this point and I really enjoyed that video because it was just about how everything around us is amazing; science is amazing. Point: it made me remember last Saturday. Instead of having a real Young Adults Fellowship Bible Study time or whatever, a bunch of us just got together and hung out. Since I no longer needed to lead a discussion or anything I took out my laptop and got back to the task at hand: copy and pasting every single blog post into a word document so I could proofread and then count the word frequency for my Zipf adventure.
As I had mentioned previously, this Zipf mystery or whatever it should be properly referred to as, is amazing and I wanted to see it in action. My friend AS brought these chocolate chip cookies to the hang out. They were perfectly light and fluffy and melt-in-your-mouth amazing. As I'm copy and pasting, people start asking why, and I explain how amazing Zipf is and that I want to test it and a couple of the guys were well-learned in computer science and code and one thing led to another and then the two of them were spending an hour trying to convert an exported code text file of my blog into a useful format with only the words. They ended up coding like 2 screens worth of code which produced a page that had all of the content from my entire blog separated by year. =O Computer scientists are amazing. I was sitting there dumbstruck the entire time, but their fingers were flying and web pages of standard code were being referenced. Amazing. What would have taken me a week or two took them like an hour or so. Craziness.
The next day after church I was just amazed by so many things.
Weather
Botany
Computer Science
Linguistics
Knitting / Crochet
Math
Biology
etc.
even Policy Management
(Admittedly I have yet to properly understand the amazingness of political science, but we'll see. ;P)
And then a day later or maybe a few days everything can be terrible. My yarn gets tangled. Conflict with my housemates. Onset guilt for lack of academic productivity recently. Struggle with sin. Drop in temperature. Late buses.
Suddenly everything is terrible, when nothing had actually changed, but my attitude and lens to see life.
This makes me think all the more that it's true: when you see everything as amazing and miraculous things are awesome, and when you start to see everything as terrible things get pretty terrible.
James 1:17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
Everything we have is from God and it was made good. (Refer to Genesis 1.)
But what is doubly amazing here is that God is unchanging. In the midst of my continual and sudden changes He remains the same.
May He continue to help me build my foundation upon the solid rock of Christ. May He continue to open my eyes to the amazingness of His creation around me. May He continue to show me more of Him.
D.Fa out
PS. One of the things I was thinking about while watching Veritasium was about how I seem to be replacing a lack of social connection with youtube. Idk. Not good definitely. But the answer shouldn't be to simply cut it off. I need to replace youtube with real people. ttyl
9.10.15
Zipf Fun
Yo,
So, I've been rather unproductive, I feel, but at the same time, I think I have done a lot. Maybe at the same time though, I need rest and now I'm not doing much because of that need? I don't know. Whenever I end up feeling like this I get guilty for not really doing anything. Idk.
I've probably also been watching too much youtube. It's a mixture of my regular subscriptions, cake/dessert DIYs, and super smart Vsauce, Veratasium, MinuteEarth, etc. So, I feel like I'm learning a bunch, but I'm probably not really learning that much because it's kinda in one ear out the other?
The other day I was watching this super neat Vsauce video about the Zipf Mystery, which in essence says that in language, all language, we tend to use some words more than other words. What's crazy about that is that if you then rank them in order of use there is a logarithmic relationship. The less used they are, they become exponentially less used and in relation to the 1st word are used about 1/x where x is their ranking. And it's been shown that this is the case in books, in whole sums of authors' works. It's crazy!
I'm really interested in both linguistics and in science, so this greatly appeals to me. Additionally, I just so happen to have a compilation of my works, aka, a blog. So I can actually test this. haha. So, allow me to do so. I realize I have many many many blog posts, so this may take a bit of time. But I also don't want to waste my time, so I'm gonna try to do this as fast as possible. xP
Ttyl.
D.Fa
PS. For this post it is following a somewhat logarithmic distribution! 289 words, 161 unique words. On the left is the simple frequency vs word, on the right is the frequency vs word rank on a log scales with the red being a ideal Zipf distribution if the 1st word had 50 repetitions. this is a tiny sample though.
So, I've been rather unproductive, I feel, but at the same time, I think I have done a lot. Maybe at the same time though, I need rest and now I'm not doing much because of that need? I don't know. Whenever I end up feeling like this I get guilty for not really doing anything. Idk.
I've probably also been watching too much youtube. It's a mixture of my regular subscriptions, cake/dessert DIYs, and super smart Vsauce, Veratasium, MinuteEarth, etc. So, I feel like I'm learning a bunch, but I'm probably not really learning that much because it's kinda in one ear out the other?
The other day I was watching this super neat Vsauce video about the Zipf Mystery, which in essence says that in language, all language, we tend to use some words more than other words. What's crazy about that is that if you then rank them in order of use there is a logarithmic relationship. The less used they are, they become exponentially less used and in relation to the 1st word are used about 1/x where x is their ranking. And it's been shown that this is the case in books, in whole sums of authors' works. It's crazy!
I'm really interested in both linguistics and in science, so this greatly appeals to me. Additionally, I just so happen to have a compilation of my works, aka, a blog. So I can actually test this. haha. So, allow me to do so. I realize I have many many many blog posts, so this may take a bit of time. But I also don't want to waste my time, so I'm gonna try to do this as fast as possible. xP
Ttyl.
D.Fa
PS. For this post it is following a somewhat logarithmic distribution! 289 words, 161 unique words. On the left is the simple frequency vs word, on the right is the frequency vs word rank on a log scales with the red being a ideal Zipf distribution if the 1st word had 50 repetitions. this is a tiny sample though.
5.10.15
God is sooooo Good.
Yo.
So, when I am down and really struggling with sin I end up beating myself up and beginning to believe how worthless I am and that nothing good will come from me and that I should isolate myself to minimize damage and that I need to work on myself before anything happens. And then I get depressed because of how bleak my future would be looking.
But grace is sooooo much more than sin and God is sooooo much better than we can ever imagine. Even when I am down He picks me up. He shows me that He values me. He shows me that He can work in and through me. He shows me that following Him and helping others to do so is worth so much more than trying to hide. God can overcome anything in my life. He will bring to completion what He has started. He is good. Always.
A couple weeks ago I was given the opportunity to talk to a Masters student at Carleton. I hadn't met her in person yet, but she was emailing the P2C email account, which I was overseeing. So I messaged her back and we got to meet up. It was amazing! Like literally, we just started talking and getting to know each other and then she was asking about Jesus. God has been doing a lot in her life, various tough times, and a bunch of friends sharing Christ with her, and now she is seeking on her own. She doesn't want her friends to bias her search, which is cool, but they're gonna be so happy when she finally tells them. haha. We were looking at the Knowing God Personally booklet, which outlines 4 basic points of the gospel, and she was asking sooooooo many questions and was sooooo interested in hearing more! After point 2: we are separated from God because of our sin and there's nothing we can do about it on our own, she was pretty bummed out, but point 3 is amazing and I was so excited about it and then she got so excited about it! Man. We talked for like an hour and a half about the Bible and who God is and why we love sharing the good news with others in P2C. She told me about the Prince of Egypt movie and I told her more of the story in the wilderness and of God's faithfulness. So good. We haven't been able to meet up recently, but I am going to try meeting up this week. She said she'd be happy to meet up and talk more about God! Please pray for her!
And then at Summit this weekend, after the Saturday evening session I saw a girl sitting alone and felt prompted to go talk to her. Carleton was going to do something and I was told to hurry up, but whatever, I'd rather follow this prompting and talk to her. So I sat in a chair beside her and asked what was up? She was a little overwhelmed with what God had been telling her. In the session they had shown a video about mission trips and how there are so many people around the world who have never heard the good news of Jesus, and she felt really compelled to go. Well, actually, at first she was just kinda crying and didn't know how to explain anything, so I prayed for her a bit encouraging her that no matter what difficult situation she was going through or felt God calling her to that He is good, that He would provide, and that He loved her deeply. She also was feeling convicted in regards to decisions she had been making. She had felt called to go to a University away from her home town so she could be pushed outside her comfort zone and rely on God, but she had been not taking those steps, she had been coasting, she had been defensive. I don't remember all of the details anymore, but she was feeling super convicted by the Spirit to trust God more and follow Him wherever He was calling her, and that's amazing! So I asked if she could pray, and then I prayed for her too. She was so much happier afterwards and more sure of what God was telling her. Please pray for her too! I'm so glad I stopped to talk with her and listened to God. So much of what she was saying I resonated with and was also convicted of. < 3 God is so good!
I literally love ministry and experiencing God through it. I don't remember exactly what she said, but the speaker at Summit said something about how we don't do ministry for God, when we participate in ministry it is us experiencing and allowing God to live in and through us. I don't want to ever stop serving others around me. I don't ever want to believe lies about myself. I want to submit everything to God and continue to serve wherever I go by His Spirit in me.
God is so good.
Seriously.
If you've never really met Him you should read the book of John and ask for God to reveal Himself to you, and talk to a friend of yours who does know God. And if you do know God, let's pray that He lets us get to know Him more, that we take steps of faith and grow in our relationship with Him, experiencing His power and presence in everything we do!
God is sooooo good.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
So, when I am down and really struggling with sin I end up beating myself up and beginning to believe how worthless I am and that nothing good will come from me and that I should isolate myself to minimize damage and that I need to work on myself before anything happens. And then I get depressed because of how bleak my future would be looking.
But grace is sooooo much more than sin and God is sooooo much better than we can ever imagine. Even when I am down He picks me up. He shows me that He values me. He shows me that He can work in and through me. He shows me that following Him and helping others to do so is worth so much more than trying to hide. God can overcome anything in my life. He will bring to completion what He has started. He is good. Always.
A couple weeks ago I was given the opportunity to talk to a Masters student at Carleton. I hadn't met her in person yet, but she was emailing the P2C email account, which I was overseeing. So I messaged her back and we got to meet up. It was amazing! Like literally, we just started talking and getting to know each other and then she was asking about Jesus. God has been doing a lot in her life, various tough times, and a bunch of friends sharing Christ with her, and now she is seeking on her own. She doesn't want her friends to bias her search, which is cool, but they're gonna be so happy when she finally tells them. haha. We were looking at the Knowing God Personally booklet, which outlines 4 basic points of the gospel, and she was asking sooooooo many questions and was sooooo interested in hearing more! After point 2: we are separated from God because of our sin and there's nothing we can do about it on our own, she was pretty bummed out, but point 3 is amazing and I was so excited about it and then she got so excited about it! Man. We talked for like an hour and a half about the Bible and who God is and why we love sharing the good news with others in P2C. She told me about the Prince of Egypt movie and I told her more of the story in the wilderness and of God's faithfulness. So good. We haven't been able to meet up recently, but I am going to try meeting up this week. She said she'd be happy to meet up and talk more about God! Please pray for her!
And then at Summit this weekend, after the Saturday evening session I saw a girl sitting alone and felt prompted to go talk to her. Carleton was going to do something and I was told to hurry up, but whatever, I'd rather follow this prompting and talk to her. So I sat in a chair beside her and asked what was up? She was a little overwhelmed with what God had been telling her. In the session they had shown a video about mission trips and how there are so many people around the world who have never heard the good news of Jesus, and she felt really compelled to go. Well, actually, at first she was just kinda crying and didn't know how to explain anything, so I prayed for her a bit encouraging her that no matter what difficult situation she was going through or felt God calling her to that He is good, that He would provide, and that He loved her deeply. She also was feeling convicted in regards to decisions she had been making. She had felt called to go to a University away from her home town so she could be pushed outside her comfort zone and rely on God, but she had been not taking those steps, she had been coasting, she had been defensive. I don't remember all of the details anymore, but she was feeling super convicted by the Spirit to trust God more and follow Him wherever He was calling her, and that's amazing! So I asked if she could pray, and then I prayed for her too. She was so much happier afterwards and more sure of what God was telling her. Please pray for her too! I'm so glad I stopped to talk with her and listened to God. So much of what she was saying I resonated with and was also convicted of. < 3 God is so good!
I literally love ministry and experiencing God through it. I don't remember exactly what she said, but the speaker at Summit said something about how we don't do ministry for God, when we participate in ministry it is us experiencing and allowing God to live in and through us. I don't want to ever stop serving others around me. I don't ever want to believe lies about myself. I want to submit everything to God and continue to serve wherever I go by His Spirit in me.
God is so good.
Seriously.
If you've never really met Him you should read the book of John and ask for God to reveal Himself to you, and talk to a friend of yours who does know God. And if you do know God, let's pray that He lets us get to know Him more, that we take steps of faith and grow in our relationship with Him, experiencing His power and presence in everything we do!
God is sooooo good.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
4.10.15
Intent and Simplicity
I have so much I want to say right now, but I feel like I always miss the right time to say it.
I don't want endlessly long posts, which would bore.
I often don't want to post super real posts which might affect the way people see me and so I wait too long and then forget what I was feeling or it is no longer relevant anyways.
I waste too much of my time and end up feeling like I don't have the time to say anything.
I want to get back to regularly blogging. I have been keeping a short list of things that I'd write about on a memo on my phone.
I intend to get to them, but we'll see. Let me just say though that this weekend was amazing and God is awesome and so good.
The gospel in all it's crazy power to save all who would believe it from the rightful and just wrath we deserve, can be so simply received through faith, not by works. So simple.
And more than that, God doesn't just save us so we are saved. He saves us so that we may then experience Him and know true life in Him.
Just reflecting on these things and others after a retreat with P2C. God is good all the time.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
I don't want endlessly long posts, which would bore.
I often don't want to post super real posts which might affect the way people see me and so I wait too long and then forget what I was feeling or it is no longer relevant anyways.
I waste too much of my time and end up feeling like I don't have the time to say anything.
I want to get back to regularly blogging. I have been keeping a short list of things that I'd write about on a memo on my phone.
I intend to get to them, but we'll see. Let me just say though that this weekend was amazing and God is awesome and so good.
The gospel in all it's crazy power to save all who would believe it from the rightful and just wrath we deserve, can be so simply received through faith, not by works. So simple.
And more than that, God doesn't just save us so we are saved. He saves us so that we may then experience Him and know true life in Him.
Just reflecting on these things and others after a retreat with P2C. God is good all the time.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
21.9.15
Ingress.
Yo, so, I've been playing this game called Ingress. And I was very skeptical at first, but it is amazing. haha
I started playing it after the trailer for Pokémon GO. I was so excited about it that I posted a bunch on facebook about how excited I was for it to finally be happening (a REAL LIFE Pokémon game!) and a friend of mine said that Niantic (the company which is partnering with Nintendo/Pokémon) had made a previous game named Ingress. So, out of curiosity, I downloaded the game.
I started playing over by Lees station, finished the tutorial and really didn't know what was happening. haha. All I knew is that these alien guys are trying to brainwash us using this exotic matter (XM) and my team wanted to ensure that didn't happen. We are called the Resistance. The other team refers to themselves as 'the Enlightened' and wants to use the energy to take humanity to the next level of evolution. Nothing good can come from that I think.
All around the world in places of cultural or historical significance 'portals' are located where the XM flows through more rapidly. You can hack portals to get items: portal keys, resonators, XM cubes, weapons, and more. Using resonators we can make the portal ours, and using portal keys we can link them together and when 3 are linked to each other a control field is created. Fields and links block the other team from forming links and taking territory. And you can take back a portal by destroying all of the enemy resonators and setting up your own.
I took one portal. And then another. The following morning I went for a walk around the neighborhood. It was awesome. So many portals. All mine. haha
I went to school and saw how green it was. I took out a portal, the pendulum, and started to plan how I could take it all with AG and JC who I had recruited. However, soon after I discovered that there were a number of very high level green agents who I definitely could not defeat on my own. Specifically there was a green agent whose name was similar to mine. I was thousand-year dragon and he was black dragon. He would be my biggest rival, but I needed help from some other agents. So I messaged some of the agents who had blue portals at school and they responded!
The next day I got to meet up with 5 agents. They were super nice. haha. One girl took a couple of us around and just destroyed all the portals and gave us experience. xP The next day I was messaged and got to meet up with a couple other agents. Something that is hilarious though is that there was apparently talk that black dragon had made a blue account just to spy on us. People had though that I was just a fake account. haha. So funny. There's also a kind of derision towards Ingress players who all started just because of Pokémon GO. haha. Whatever. I think I've proven myself.
But this game is amazing. And playing in real life and getting to meet up with the others, the whole thing makes it feel so much like an anime. haha. One where the world just happens to be ignorant of the present danger they are in and a few select people have been given the power to fight back and save the innocent civilians. Something like Yuki Yuna wa Yusha de Aru or Shakugan no Shana or something. But meeting up in person also made me think of like Durarara or Paranoia Agent or .//hack or even The Guild web series. haha.
I can't wait for Pokémon though.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
I started playing it after the trailer for Pokémon GO. I was so excited about it that I posted a bunch on facebook about how excited I was for it to finally be happening (a REAL LIFE Pokémon game!) and a friend of mine said that Niantic (the company which is partnering with Nintendo/Pokémon) had made a previous game named Ingress. So, out of curiosity, I downloaded the game.
I started playing over by Lees station, finished the tutorial and really didn't know what was happening. haha. All I knew is that these alien guys are trying to brainwash us using this exotic matter (XM) and my team wanted to ensure that didn't happen. We are called the Resistance. The other team refers to themselves as 'the Enlightened' and wants to use the energy to take humanity to the next level of evolution. Nothing good can come from that I think.
All around the world in places of cultural or historical significance 'portals' are located where the XM flows through more rapidly. You can hack portals to get items: portal keys, resonators, XM cubes, weapons, and more. Using resonators we can make the portal ours, and using portal keys we can link them together and when 3 are linked to each other a control field is created. Fields and links block the other team from forming links and taking territory. And you can take back a portal by destroying all of the enemy resonators and setting up your own.
I took one portal. And then another. The following morning I went for a walk around the neighborhood. It was awesome. So many portals. All mine. haha
I went to school and saw how green it was. I took out a portal, the pendulum, and started to plan how I could take it all with AG and JC who I had recruited. However, soon after I discovered that there were a number of very high level green agents who I definitely could not defeat on my own. Specifically there was a green agent whose name was similar to mine. I was thousand-year dragon and he was black dragon. He would be my biggest rival, but I needed help from some other agents. So I messaged some of the agents who had blue portals at school and they responded!
The next day I got to meet up with 5 agents. They were super nice. haha. One girl took a couple of us around and just destroyed all the portals and gave us experience. xP The next day I was messaged and got to meet up with a couple other agents. Something that is hilarious though is that there was apparently talk that black dragon had made a blue account just to spy on us. People had though that I was just a fake account. haha. So funny. There's also a kind of derision towards Ingress players who all started just because of Pokémon GO. haha. Whatever. I think I've proven myself.
But this game is amazing. And playing in real life and getting to meet up with the others, the whole thing makes it feel so much like an anime. haha. One where the world just happens to be ignorant of the present danger they are in and a few select people have been given the power to fight back and save the innocent civilians. Something like Yuki Yuna wa Yusha de Aru or Shakugan no Shana or something. But meeting up in person also made me think of like Durarara or Paranoia Agent or .//hack or even The Guild web series. haha.
I can't wait for Pokémon though.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
14.9.15
Seminar on Anything
So, today I had to give a 15 minute talk on anything I wanted to for my Chemistry Grad Seminar class. Someone was interested in reading it when I told them what I was writing about, so, here it is. haha
A Brief History of the Origins of the Pokémon Franchise
Pre-Intro:
I was told that I could speak on anything, but I didn’t want to just
tell you what it was. So here is the question: My topic relates to each of the
following major names, what is it?
Macy’s (an American department store and holding company worth about
6.5 billion)
NASA (National Aeronautics and Space Administration in the US with an
annual budget of 18 billion)
FIFA (Fédération
Internationale de Football Association with 209 national associations)
Google (American technology company with equity more than $100 billion)
Sydney Opera House (completed in 1973, national icon of Australia)
Nintendo (Japanese consumer electronics company with equity more than $10
billion)
Since 2001 there has been a balloon of Pikachu, the electric mouse
Pokémon, in Macy’s annual Thanksgiving parade in New York as well as other
characters in certain years.
In 2005 NASA partnered with the Pokémon Trading Card Game to help
children learn the real science related to popular characters.
For the FIFA 2014 World Cup in Brazil, Pikachu was the mascot for the
Japanese team.
In 2014 Google’s annual April Fool’s Day prank featured a google map
modification which allowed you to find and catch Pokémon on the map around the
world. And this week the announcement was made that catching Pokémon in real
life will become a reality as Niantic Inc., a software development start-up
from Google, will partner to produce Pokémon GO, a smartphone augmented reality
game, to be released in 2016.
Since 2014 an orchestra performance has been touring in the US, Europe,
Canada, and in late November they will be playing at the Sydney Opera House. In
the concert they play orchestral renditions of songs from the many games.
So now we should all be aware of this: my topic is Pokémon, but
specifically a brief look at the origins of this franchise giant and some of
how it got to where it is today.
Intro:
Before we dive into the origins, let me give you one last look at how
large a global power Pokémon is. Aside from its many substantial international
partnerships, including those mentioned earlier, the franchise has had over 70 video
games on multiple systems, nearly 1000 television episodes, 18 movies, numerous
manga or comic book series, a trading card game, action figures, stuffed
animals, board games and every sort of merchandise you can imagine as well as
its very own store in Japan. Recognizable by nearly anyone around the world, captivating
the imagination of children, spanning generations, and now having 721 monsters
to collect, battle, and trade, the Pokémon franchise has grown into an
international phenomenon worth nearly 40 billion US dollars. With endless
creativity and innovation, Pokémon has grown an international fan base, but how
did it get to where it is today? Today I will be briefly explaining the origins
of the franchise and some of the major events in its nearly 20 year history.
The Beginnings:
Satoshi Tajiri, as a child living in suburban Tokyo had fond memories
of catching insects and tadpoles near his house. The spots where he had
previously hunted for creatures had been paved over. As he grew up his
interests switched to video games. He went to the Tokyo National College of
Technology and got more involved in the gaming world. He learned programming
language, started a gaming magazine, and in 1989 founded the game development
company known as GAME FREAK inc.
In the early 90s he saw two children playing on their Nintendo Gameboys
with a link cable and he imagined bugs crawling across the cables. This is
where the original concept of catching and trading monsters began. Having lost
the spaces where children could catch insects and tadpoles, he wanted to give
modern children a chance to experience the same. The original concept had a
number of differences from the games as we know them now, but with a majority
of the same features including the monsters, balls to catch them in, battles
between trainers, trading between games and more. It was designed to take a few
minutes at a time between things wherever you are.
He pitched the idea to Nintendo multiple times and eventually, although
still somewhat confused they supported him. Development took six years and 190 Pokémon
were created. The first of which was Rhydon, not Bulbasaur as one might imagine.
Of that original group, 151 were programmed into the game with Pokémon 151,
Mew, being kept a secret from the public which they could use as a post-release
event if needed. The others would be saved for later games. The long
development process actually caused GAME FREAK to nearly run bankrupt with a
few employees quitting and Tajiri working unpaid overtime.
Release:
Pokémon Red and Green version released in Japan in February 1996 –
within the game you catch and train Pokémon with the goal of defeating 8 other
strong trainers (known as gym leaders), the elite four and your rival, as well
as the crime syndicate Team Rocket, but the overarching goal was to catch all known
species, which required trading certain monsters from the separate games.
Nearing the end of the Gameboy’s life, with the Gameboy color not far
away, Pokémon only had modest sales.
However, once the 151st Pokémon, Mew, was discovered by some
fans the story changed. Shortly after, Nintendo held a submission contest,
promising this legendary Pokémon Mew to 20 entrants. 78,000 applied and interest
in the game sky rocketed and the games would end up being the best-sellers of
the handheld.
This new success prompted the company to prepare Blue version, which
corrected many glitches and had updated graphics. This was released in October
of 1996 and around the same time the Trading card game and various Manga
adaptations began.
Early the following year the television adaptation began and due to its
popularity a final version of the game was released in 1998 with gameplay more
similar to the anime, especially with your starter Pokémon, Pikachu, walking
behind you.
With Yellow version released a precedent was set for the continued
release of new games in sets of 3. Each time with 2 main games, and 1 released
slightly later with some upgraded features.
Moving International:
Due to the popularity of the games in Japan, international releases of
the games and television show began in 1998 with the new slogan “Gotta catch
‘em all!”. The anime continued to excite fans and the first movie did extremely
well in theatres, grossing 10 million on the first day, and 67 in the first 12
days. It did so well as to temporarily hold the record in North America for
highest-grossing opening for an animated film until Toy Story 2 came out. In
this film a short was also shown in which a few new Pokémon were revealed.
Over the next couple years various spin-off games (Pinball, puzzles,
card game), a second movie (revealing another few new Pokémon), and even a live
musical were created.
November of 1999 the second generation of Pokémon games was released
for Gameboy Color: Gold and Silver versions, featuring 100 more monsters to
find and catch. Aside from being in a new country, the games featured very
similar styles of gameplay to the original: defeating 8 gym leaders, the elite
four and your rival, a crime syndicate, and a job to catch them all. The games
also introduced a few features including: gender, breeding, and baby Pokémon,
time, friendship, and shiny Pokémon.
This process would be repeated time and again as the game consoles
evolved: various new species of Pokémon would be revealed in the television
show or movies, spin-off games would be produced, and about every 4 years a new
generation of main series Pokémon games would be released. Introducing new
countries, wireless connectivity, ways to improve your Pokémon, and obviously
new Pokémon to catch increasing from the original 151 to today’s 721 which is
increasing as we speak. A number of remade versions were released to allow for compatibility
with the contemporary games.
Since there is always a new Pokémon around the corner, and the history
of the Pokémon world always remained somewhat a mystery, there are many people
who theorize over release dates of new games, potential new evolutions of
existing monsters, and various plot points of the television series or games.
As I mentioned earlier, even now, about 2 years after the previous new
generation many people are theorizing when the next generation will be released
based on leaked images of new Pokémon. The announcement of Pokémon GO is a
whole new frontier for Pokémon taking the games not only global using wireless
connections, but now to the real world. For many fans this is a childhood dream
come true, whether they are now a child, or were back in the 90s.
Conclusion:
Where the game will go from here I cannot say, but what is clear is
that the Pokémon franchise has an excellent way of keeping fans on their toes, has
made a name for itself in video gaming, the country of Japan, and around the
world, and is likely to continue growing in the coming years.
28.7.15
Pain, Patience, and Parables. Part 2/2.
So, if you weren't aware, I was in a bike accident.
Refer here to part 1: Part 1. (PS. I made a pun in the last major paragraph, which I find hilarious. haha) I ended up having surgery on Wednesday and everything seems to have gone perfectly well. I'm going in for a follow-up appointment with the surgeon on Thursday morning and my arm isn't really in pain anymore and I'm (somewhat) typing with two hands again (although the left hand only gets to type e,w,a,s,d,z,x and left-shift (he usually gets to type a little more of the keyboard too)(I only normally type with like 2 to 4 fingers. xP)).
But part 2 is mostly about what I was thinking throughout the day in relation to God and the Bible (hence parables).
To start, looking back on the accident itself I'm really quite happy about the way it all happened. The day started with a good solid time in the Bible and looking at who God is and trusting in His goodness. Which was somewhat uncommon at the time. Had it not started that way, I don't think the rest of the day would have happened the same way.
First, the accident itself, praise God, was so benign. A bump to the head; like 10 stitches; a couple scrapes; a bit of a sore neck and shoulder; and a broken ulna bone, which is pretty much better now. It wasn't a serious accident, but it could have been so much worse. I kept thinking about how everything had been planned. GM had messaged me like two weeks prior to go biking and we ended up on that date because I was free. We could have chosen any other week. Had I not gone biking that Saturday, I would have biked to church the next day alone, which has a lot more street biking. I could have ended up unconscious, on the road, alone Sunday morning rather than on the side of a bike path, fully conscious, with a buddy, 5 blocks to a hospital. The idea that God works all things for the good of those who love Him (Rom 8) kept coming to mind. He kept me from a worse injury. He has given me more time in the Word and reading other encouraging materials. He has shown me so much love through my brothers and sisters in Christ. He's brought me closer with my parents. There's so little here that has been a downside. xP Yesterday SC even told me how me and JF (a fractured radius) being in bike accidents caused him to check his bike and not ride it when a bolt was missing. Our injuries have caused everyone in the church to be much more aware and safe with biking!
Secondly, I, and GM and others, were amazed at how calm I was during the whole thing. When it happened, my first response (which surprised me too) was to pray. And through the whole thing I was thinking so clearly and calmly. It was insane. Looking back while I was in a room waiting for stitches the thought of Phil4 came to mind: 'pray about all things and the peace that surpasses understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus'. Honestly, one of my thoughts at the time were like 'we need to press down on the wound to stop the bleeding. we need to breathe slower and get our heart rate down to slow blood loss. we need to make sure anything we feel or any loss of sight or anything is conveyed to GM so he can tell the paramedics when they get here. etc.' and then I also answered all of the questions about who, what, where, why, how, etc. perfectly.
Third, I think I got a bit of a picture of Israel waiting for the Messiah to come. Maybe this was just me experiencing a prolonged waiting, which I normally don't, but it really was a long wait, and I was in a fair bit of pain. The guy in blue was my Jesus. Kendrick. Xrays were taken at like 2:30 pm after I had been stitched up, but nothing happened until 3:30. Kendrick came and told me about my arm. He had to go and talk with his seniors, but he would be back. So I waited in pain, mostly singing hymns and praying. One time he came back and said I needed a CT scan. Cool. More waiting. Around 6 pm I almost gave up hope that he'd be back. Maybe he went for dinner. When does his shift end anyways? Got a CT scan. Kendrick came back. This time literally just to say "we haven't forgotten about you. I will be back soon!" It was like 10 pm when he finally came back and gave me the final news, but he gave me a cast and gave me pain killers. He showed genuine concern for me and talked me through everything and sent me home. It was a long day, waiting for rest and comfort from my self-inflicted pain, but time after time it was prophesied that the saviour would come. (I realize this is a bit of a stretch, but the hope that Kendrick was coming back and that he actually cared really got me through what could have been millennia of waiting. haha)
So ya, it's been cool. xP And of course, this light and momentary pain is nothing in comparison to the future glory we have as children of God (Rom 8).
Ttyl,
D.Fa
Refer here to part 1: Part 1. (PS. I made a pun in the last major paragraph, which I find hilarious. haha) I ended up having surgery on Wednesday and everything seems to have gone perfectly well. I'm going in for a follow-up appointment with the surgeon on Thursday morning and my arm isn't really in pain anymore and I'm (somewhat) typing with two hands again (although the left hand only gets to type e,w,a,s,d,z,x and left-shift (he usually gets to type a little more of the keyboard too)(I only normally type with like 2 to 4 fingers. xP)).
But part 2 is mostly about what I was thinking throughout the day in relation to God and the Bible (hence parables).
To start, looking back on the accident itself I'm really quite happy about the way it all happened. The day started with a good solid time in the Bible and looking at who God is and trusting in His goodness. Which was somewhat uncommon at the time. Had it not started that way, I don't think the rest of the day would have happened the same way.
First, the accident itself, praise God, was so benign. A bump to the head; like 10 stitches; a couple scrapes; a bit of a sore neck and shoulder; and a broken ulna bone, which is pretty much better now. It wasn't a serious accident, but it could have been so much worse. I kept thinking about how everything had been planned. GM had messaged me like two weeks prior to go biking and we ended up on that date because I was free. We could have chosen any other week. Had I not gone biking that Saturday, I would have biked to church the next day alone, which has a lot more street biking. I could have ended up unconscious, on the road, alone Sunday morning rather than on the side of a bike path, fully conscious, with a buddy, 5 blocks to a hospital. The idea that God works all things for the good of those who love Him (Rom 8) kept coming to mind. He kept me from a worse injury. He has given me more time in the Word and reading other encouraging materials. He has shown me so much love through my brothers and sisters in Christ. He's brought me closer with my parents. There's so little here that has been a downside. xP Yesterday SC even told me how me and JF (a fractured radius) being in bike accidents caused him to check his bike and not ride it when a bolt was missing. Our injuries have caused everyone in the church to be much more aware and safe with biking!
Secondly, I, and GM and others, were amazed at how calm I was during the whole thing. When it happened, my first response (which surprised me too) was to pray. And through the whole thing I was thinking so clearly and calmly. It was insane. Looking back while I was in a room waiting for stitches the thought of Phil4 came to mind: 'pray about all things and the peace that surpasses understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus'. Honestly, one of my thoughts at the time were like 'we need to press down on the wound to stop the bleeding. we need to breathe slower and get our heart rate down to slow blood loss. we need to make sure anything we feel or any loss of sight or anything is conveyed to GM so he can tell the paramedics when they get here. etc.' and then I also answered all of the questions about who, what, where, why, how, etc. perfectly.
Third, I think I got a bit of a picture of Israel waiting for the Messiah to come. Maybe this was just me experiencing a prolonged waiting, which I normally don't, but it really was a long wait, and I was in a fair bit of pain. The guy in blue was my Jesus. Kendrick. Xrays were taken at like 2:30 pm after I had been stitched up, but nothing happened until 3:30. Kendrick came and told me about my arm. He had to go and talk with his seniors, but he would be back. So I waited in pain, mostly singing hymns and praying. One time he came back and said I needed a CT scan. Cool. More waiting. Around 6 pm I almost gave up hope that he'd be back. Maybe he went for dinner. When does his shift end anyways? Got a CT scan. Kendrick came back. This time literally just to say "we haven't forgotten about you. I will be back soon!" It was like 10 pm when he finally came back and gave me the final news, but he gave me a cast and gave me pain killers. He showed genuine concern for me and talked me through everything and sent me home. It was a long day, waiting for rest and comfort from my self-inflicted pain, but time after time it was prophesied that the saviour would come. (I realize this is a bit of a stretch, but the hope that Kendrick was coming back and that he actually cared really got me through what could have been millennia of waiting. haha)
So ya, it's been cool. xP And of course, this light and momentary pain is nothing in comparison to the future glory we have as children of God (Rom 8).
Ttyl,
D.Fa
20.7.15
Pain, Patience, and Parables. Part 1/2
Yo
How goes it? As my luck would have it, I am now injured again. It seems that this summer I just attract injury like a magnet attracts iron shavings. The second I move past one injury, the next is waiting for me. xP
Long story short: bruised rib, badly sprained ankle, re-bruised rib, twice re-sprained ankle, and to top off the summer: stitches and a broken ulna.
In some ways, it's a really dumb story. haha. I had biked to softball in light rain and so a friend drove me home. To do so, I removed the quick release front tire. The following day my friend and I were going to go for a long bike ride just for fun. About 15 minutes into the bike ride I was lying on the ground bleeding.
It seems I hadn't tightened the front wheel very well when I put it back on and as I went to hop over a bump on the bike path, it popped off. The forks of the frame hit the ground, I flew over head first into the pavement (as I watched by friend bike behind me. xP // note to self / everyone: wear a helmet!) and presumably did a roll right, hitting my right shoulder and left elbow (as it came around). I got up (without my glasses), felt my forehead, saw blood drip, felt a bit faint, so I lay down off the bike path. My buddy calmly asked (well, maybe a little nervous. I couldn't see his face, but his voice sounded a little urgent) if he should call 911. He did and, knowing the area better than he did, I calmly answered all of the operator's questions whenever he repeated them aloud (y'know, that thing you do to both fully understand the question and buy an extra second to think about it? I don't think he was actually asking me). We were actually only about 5 blocks from a hospital. Some joggers came by and helped direct the ambulance to us. I asked my buddy to find my glasses while we waited.
The two in the ambulance were extremely nice, funny, and calm. Andrew and Amanda. So nice! They patched me up, gave me a neck brace, put me on that plastic board thing, got me into the ambulance, asked me a bunch of questions, took my vitals, got my bike, and drove me to the hospital. On the way I found out that Andrew knows all about my thesis supervisor and what I'm working on. haha. My supervisor has "god status" when it comes to aptamers, in his words (but pretty true), and his friend did her PhD in her lab. xP Small world!
Got right into the hospital and saw a doctor not too long after. Had a guy in training do most of the preliminary screening, 'irrigate' and numb my forehead, and most of my stitches after observing a few by the main doctor on duty. Based on my ability to move and that I didn't go unconscious and my general lack of pain in my neck they determined my neck was ok and I hadn't had a concussion (thank God!). I managed to convince him I should still get a neck xray done. They also xray'd my left elbow, which really hurt and I couldn't move too much.
A while later a guy in a blue jumpsuit (is how it seemed) came in, assessed my motion of my left elbow again, said I had a fractured ulna (one of the two forearm bones) at the head (where it connects to the elbow joint), but he'd need to consult his seniors because it was right on the edge of maybe being a lot worse and the xray's angles was inconclusive. Later he came back and said I'd need a CT scan. I got a CT scan (and tetanus shot) and later he came back and broke the news to me: the ulna was fractured in a few places and broken such that the two pieces were not aligned and would need to be corrected surgically with a metal plate (and maybe have the head replaced with a fake if it is too small to attach the plate to). He got me to sign off on the procedure (after telling me the pros and cons of the procedure) as well as potential blood transfusion. He made me a plaster cast and sent me on my way with a prescription for moderate pain killer medication.
A number of thoughts crossed my mind during this whole thing. I'll tell you more tomorrow (my hand is tired of typing. lolllllll).
Ttyl.
D.Fa
How goes it? As my luck would have it, I am now injured again. It seems that this summer I just attract injury like a magnet attracts iron shavings. The second I move past one injury, the next is waiting for me. xP
Long story short: bruised rib, badly sprained ankle, re-bruised rib, twice re-sprained ankle, and to top off the summer: stitches and a broken ulna.
In some ways, it's a really dumb story. haha. I had biked to softball in light rain and so a friend drove me home. To do so, I removed the quick release front tire. The following day my friend and I were going to go for a long bike ride just for fun. About 15 minutes into the bike ride I was lying on the ground bleeding.
It seems I hadn't tightened the front wheel very well when I put it back on and as I went to hop over a bump on the bike path, it popped off. The forks of the frame hit the ground, I flew over head first into the pavement (as I watched by friend bike behind me. xP // note to self / everyone: wear a helmet!) and presumably did a roll right, hitting my right shoulder and left elbow (as it came around). I got up (without my glasses), felt my forehead, saw blood drip, felt a bit faint, so I lay down off the bike path. My buddy calmly asked (well, maybe a little nervous. I couldn't see his face, but his voice sounded a little urgent) if he should call 911. He did and, knowing the area better than he did, I calmly answered all of the operator's questions whenever he repeated them aloud (y'know, that thing you do to both fully understand the question and buy an extra second to think about it? I don't think he was actually asking me). We were actually only about 5 blocks from a hospital. Some joggers came by and helped direct the ambulance to us. I asked my buddy to find my glasses while we waited.
The two in the ambulance were extremely nice, funny, and calm. Andrew and Amanda. So nice! They patched me up, gave me a neck brace, put me on that plastic board thing, got me into the ambulance, asked me a bunch of questions, took my vitals, got my bike, and drove me to the hospital. On the way I found out that Andrew knows all about my thesis supervisor and what I'm working on. haha. My supervisor has "god status" when it comes to aptamers, in his words (but pretty true), and his friend did her PhD in her lab. xP Small world!
Got right into the hospital and saw a doctor not too long after. Had a guy in training do most of the preliminary screening, 'irrigate' and numb my forehead, and most of my stitches after observing a few by the main doctor on duty. Based on my ability to move and that I didn't go unconscious and my general lack of pain in my neck they determined my neck was ok and I hadn't had a concussion (thank God!). I managed to convince him I should still get a neck xray done. They also xray'd my left elbow, which really hurt and I couldn't move too much.
A while later a guy in a blue jumpsuit (is how it seemed) came in, assessed my motion of my left elbow again, said I had a fractured ulna (one of the two forearm bones) at the head (where it connects to the elbow joint), but he'd need to consult his seniors because it was right on the edge of maybe being a lot worse and the xray's angles was inconclusive. Later he came back and said I'd need a CT scan. I got a CT scan (and tetanus shot) and later he came back and broke the news to me: the ulna was fractured in a few places and broken such that the two pieces were not aligned and would need to be corrected surgically with a metal plate (and maybe have the head replaced with a fake if it is too small to attach the plate to). He got me to sign off on the procedure (after telling me the pros and cons of the procedure) as well as potential blood transfusion. He made me a plaster cast and sent me on my way with a prescription for moderate pain killer medication.
A number of thoughts crossed my mind during this whole thing. I'll tell you more tomorrow (my hand is tired of typing. lolllllll).
Ttyl.
D.Fa
24.6.15
Bored because of Pointlessness
Yo.
Lately I've been so bored. Not that there aren't things to do. I think in some ways I am not doing the things I probably should be; procrastinating in a way. But then the things I do end up doing, which don't really seem significantly positive or negative in the grand scheme of things, they just seem, flat? dull? boring? meaningless?
Lately anything other than something that directly relates to my relationship with God, or serving Him in some way, or helping others know Him better; they seem pointless.
Sleeping in.
Watching television.
Playing video games.
Cleaning.
Yard work.
Course registration.
I don't know. Pretty much everything.
It seems pointless.
Even the things that the sinful body of mine desires, they seem pointless intellectually. I won't say I haven't been tempted to thin or act certain ways, but it seems pointless.
And I know I could be using the time God has given me to do more or better things than the amount of lying around doing nothing or playing cell phone games. I need goals. I need purpose. I need more than these things.
I don't know.
This is probably part of why it becomes so easy for me to end up doing a lot of things for God, but forgetting to spend time with Him. I feel the need to be doing something and think that sitting around not doing something is wasteful. May I see more and more the power of 'not doing things' through resting in God and prayer that He would continue to work and work in bigger ways.
D.Fa
Lately I've been so bored. Not that there aren't things to do. I think in some ways I am not doing the things I probably should be; procrastinating in a way. But then the things I do end up doing, which don't really seem significantly positive or negative in the grand scheme of things, they just seem, flat? dull? boring? meaningless?
Lately anything other than something that directly relates to my relationship with God, or serving Him in some way, or helping others know Him better; they seem pointless.
Sleeping in.
Watching television.
Playing video games.
Cleaning.
Yard work.
Course registration.
I don't know. Pretty much everything.
It seems pointless.
Even the things that the sinful body of mine desires, they seem pointless intellectually. I won't say I haven't been tempted to thin or act certain ways, but it seems pointless.
And I know I could be using the time God has given me to do more or better things than the amount of lying around doing nothing or playing cell phone games. I need goals. I need purpose. I need more than these things.
I don't know.
This is probably part of why it becomes so easy for me to end up doing a lot of things for God, but forgetting to spend time with Him. I feel the need to be doing something and think that sitting around not doing something is wasteful. May I see more and more the power of 'not doing things' through resting in God and prayer that He would continue to work and work in bigger ways.
D.Fa
15.6.15
Baby Geese
Yo,
yesterday was pretty busy. I was out of the house literally from 9 am to midnight. I had decided to join the Ottawa Christian Chorale for this season, so I had practice for that, followed by worship team practice, assisting a bit with Westfest (an annual neighborhood event in westboro) stuff at church, YA, and street marshaling for Westfest. So it was a busy day, but fun.
1. I am not a tenor. E's I am good with. F's sometimes. F#'s... G............ G# (o. O). A? Please no. So I need to learn how to sing in falsetto, or not sing the tenor parts for some songs. (Otherwise OCC was tons of fun! =D)
2. I biked to and from all of those things. On the way to worship practice I biked along the river and ran into a pack of geese who had a bunch of baby geese! So I had to stop and play with them. I ended up following a couple of the babies that had been separated and caught one when he got stuck on a fence. I held him and pet him. He was very fluffy. (sorry no photos) So I tried again, but I couldn't manage to get the babies away from the parents. They were very protective.
As I mentioned the day before, I think discipleship is one thing that the church really needs more of. Not just my church, but quite a few (I can't comment on all of them to any degree). When I say discipleship I mean more mature Christians kinda mentoring and spending time with younger Christians to help them grow in their faith. And the thing here is that this is what Jesus calls us to! The great commission (Matt28:18-20) isn't to go and tell everyone about Jesus and then leave them hanging. Jesus says to go to all nations and make disciples, people who follow Jesus and grow in their relationship with Him. Paul calls the church at Philippi to follow after examples of godly men and women, and calls the church at Corinth to follow after him as he follows after Jesus' example. And further in the great commission Jesus calls us to teach these disciples to obey everything that God has commanded. And here we see the example set by Paul in 2Tim2:2 as he had trained Timothy who was then to train other reliable men who would be qualified to train others. We see a chain of discipleship, unbroken between generation, age, race, or any other divisions. As Paul explains in Eph2 God has broken down the divisions and made out of two (Jew and Gentile) one church, unified in Him; and again in Rom12 he speaks of the body of Christ being unified yet diversified, each with the different skills and abilities to build up the church.
Discipleship; a chain of disciples following and being further trained by more mature godly men or women as they all follow Jesus.
And discipleship, which I think is so great and the heart of the church, is one thing which I think definitely cannot be offered through parachurch. P2C for example, is a group of students at university. Essentially all in the same phase of their lives, mostly going through the same trials and temptations. Some may have grown up in church and came to truly trust in Jesus earlier, but even they don't have all that much to teach if they themselves are not also growing and being discipled by older men and women. There are some staff members, but they are often not too much older, and are kinda in the same phase of their lives. Additionally, parachurch is typically focused on one thing, and in P2C's case that would be training in evangelism, not so much in deeper bible study or other areas of life.
I had been reading a small book called "The Master Plan of Evangelism" by Robert E. Coleman. The book is all about looking at how Jesus did His ministry and the core concepts we can learn and apply. The second chapter was on 'Association'. Jesus spent time with his disciples. He spent His life teaching and ministering to them so that when He left (bodily) they'd be good to lead the church. The chapter emphasizes the need for this association, without which a new believer may not really grow in their faith and may be swayed by the world and the enemy. And as funny as this may sound, the geese from yesterday morning kinda provide an analogy.
The geese, now mature, protect their babies from any potential threats while also teaching them how to survive and helping them grow. In the analogy I am the enemy coming to swoop down on the unsuspecting poor helpless little geese. But afterwards I had no way to get at them, especially when they stood together in a group in unity.
Thus should the church be; building up, protecting, teaching and caring for their young.
So I will continue to talk about and pray for the church and for God to really help establish a core of discipleship which would cause stronger community, deeper faith, and greater holiness (and Christ-likeness) in the church.
D.Fa
yesterday was pretty busy. I was out of the house literally from 9 am to midnight. I had decided to join the Ottawa Christian Chorale for this season, so I had practice for that, followed by worship team practice, assisting a bit with Westfest (an annual neighborhood event in westboro) stuff at church, YA, and street marshaling for Westfest. So it was a busy day, but fun.
1. I am not a tenor. E's I am good with. F's sometimes. F#'s... G............ G# (o. O). A? Please no. So I need to learn how to sing in falsetto, or not sing the tenor parts for some songs. (Otherwise OCC was tons of fun! =D)
2. I biked to and from all of those things. On the way to worship practice I biked along the river and ran into a pack of geese who had a bunch of baby geese! So I had to stop and play with them. I ended up following a couple of the babies that had been separated and caught one when he got stuck on a fence. I held him and pet him. He was very fluffy. (sorry no photos) So I tried again, but I couldn't manage to get the babies away from the parents. They were very protective.
As I mentioned the day before, I think discipleship is one thing that the church really needs more of. Not just my church, but quite a few (I can't comment on all of them to any degree). When I say discipleship I mean more mature Christians kinda mentoring and spending time with younger Christians to help them grow in their faith. And the thing here is that this is what Jesus calls us to! The great commission (Matt28:18-20) isn't to go and tell everyone about Jesus and then leave them hanging. Jesus says to go to all nations and make disciples, people who follow Jesus and grow in their relationship with Him. Paul calls the church at Philippi to follow after examples of godly men and women, and calls the church at Corinth to follow after him as he follows after Jesus' example. And further in the great commission Jesus calls us to teach these disciples to obey everything that God has commanded. And here we see the example set by Paul in 2Tim2:2 as he had trained Timothy who was then to train other reliable men who would be qualified to train others. We see a chain of discipleship, unbroken between generation, age, race, or any other divisions. As Paul explains in Eph2 God has broken down the divisions and made out of two (Jew and Gentile) one church, unified in Him; and again in Rom12 he speaks of the body of Christ being unified yet diversified, each with the different skills and abilities to build up the church.
Discipleship; a chain of disciples following and being further trained by more mature godly men or women as they all follow Jesus.
And discipleship, which I think is so great and the heart of the church, is one thing which I think definitely cannot be offered through parachurch. P2C for example, is a group of students at university. Essentially all in the same phase of their lives, mostly going through the same trials and temptations. Some may have grown up in church and came to truly trust in Jesus earlier, but even they don't have all that much to teach if they themselves are not also growing and being discipled by older men and women. There are some staff members, but they are often not too much older, and are kinda in the same phase of their lives. Additionally, parachurch is typically focused on one thing, and in P2C's case that would be training in evangelism, not so much in deeper bible study or other areas of life.
I had been reading a small book called "The Master Plan of Evangelism" by Robert E. Coleman. The book is all about looking at how Jesus did His ministry and the core concepts we can learn and apply. The second chapter was on 'Association'. Jesus spent time with his disciples. He spent His life teaching and ministering to them so that when He left (bodily) they'd be good to lead the church. The chapter emphasizes the need for this association, without which a new believer may not really grow in their faith and may be swayed by the world and the enemy. And as funny as this may sound, the geese from yesterday morning kinda provide an analogy.
The geese, now mature, protect their babies from any potential threats while also teaching them how to survive and helping them grow. In the analogy I am the enemy coming to swoop down on the unsuspecting poor helpless little geese. But afterwards I had no way to get at them, especially when they stood together in a group in unity.
Thus should the church be; building up, protecting, teaching and caring for their young.
So I will continue to talk about and pray for the church and for God to really help establish a core of discipleship which would cause stronger community, deeper faith, and greater holiness (and Christ-likeness) in the church.
D.Fa
12.6.15
It Can Be Simple.
Yo.
Lately I've been thinking a bit about what it means for an organization or group or ministry to be 'parachurch' and how the parachurch should be working hand-in-hand with the Church.
I tend to meet two kinds of people: those who love parachurch organizations, have seen their greatest moments while part of them, and have seen God do amazing things through them and so they want to invest all of their time into it, often at the expense of being actively involved in a local church; and those who have seen parachurch groups lose sight of their partnership with the local church and as such these persons have decided to be involved solely in local churches to the extent of being wary of such organizations and keeping others from involvement.
And I don't have an answer per se as to how a parachurch group should work, or how the church should work. I do need to read up a bit more on this. However, from what I know and from the times I've spent as part of a seminary course on the book of Acts (the early church and Paul's work), I know that they should be working hand-in-hand. Often Paul's small missionary team is called a parachurch group. The way I've seen parachurch defined is that it is not the church in that it is focused to a specific task or peoples, but made up of people from the Church, and when done best seeks to support the mission of the Church in whatever means of evangelism, discipleship, or training. A campus ministry, a bible study group, a seminary; each fits into this category.
The question of how the two can work together is at the front of my mind since I've been so stuck between the two groups of people and have kind of flip-flopped between primarily being involved in parachurch or church 'activities' and trying to unify the two groups of people, but not really knowing how to do it.
I had recently talked to a friend of mine who is a staff member with Power to Change (P2C), a campus ministry in Canada and around the world under different names. I asked her, and asked specifically about how she sees it since I knew that she, herself, had not been so actively involved in both while in university. The way she answered was golden, and makes me love God, her, the church, and parachurch all the more. I will now attempt to paraphrase. The way she sees it P2C exists solely to help Christian students grow in evangelism and bringing the gospel to other students while in university. While doing that, to be encouraging active participation in the local church and preparing them to be so for the rest of their lives. The way she sees it P2C (or any parachurch for that matter) should not be trying to do 'church' things which would compete, such as deeper bible studies, sermons, worship services, generic fellowship, life discipleship, etc., but to do what it is called to do; in P2C's case, evangelism training, evangelism, and prayer for the gospel to reach ears that will hear, and nothing more. There isn't time in the life of a full-time student for 20 hours of overlapping content from both parachurch and church, in such cases a student will choose one or the other. To do so all of P2C's stuff would be concise and to the point allowing the students to best be a part of their churches and live as part of the family of God.
When things go like that, she tells me that students are actively involved in sharing their faith, are meaningfully involved in local churches, local churches suggest people to participate in the parachurch ministries while in school, it isn't a burden on anyone, and people are coming to know Jesus! So good.
I also asked then how new believers would be discipled. She replied that they would probably have a short 5 week or so basic lessons on the gospel and our life in Jesus, but in everything to direct them to a local church. I also asked about the desire for community in the parachurch groups. She said community around the mission is great, but that the real deep communities would be in the churches and as such, the students can have fellowship and stuff, it just wouldn't be a P2C event. If they wanted to have worship before a prayer meeting, great! That's a prayer meeting. haha
My desire is to see that day in Ottawa. To see the local churches and parachurch ministries on campus to work together, not against each other. And I think we've been seeing it go in that direction this year. Discipleship groups, acting more as 'action groups' where they learn how to share their faith and then go and afterwards they can do other stuff on their time. Weekly meetings focused around sharing Jesus with others, not on throwing a church service. Students involved at their churches, going on missions, living life together, and in everything lifting up Jesus.
So good.
I want to pray for that and I want to be a catalyst on both sides (church and P2C) to help communicate and work together for the sake of the gospel and good news of Christ going to all. May students be encouraged to share their faith, may they be encouraged to live their life in the body of believers, the church, may they seek after His kingdom and righteousness in everything, may God be glorified through His Church. Amen!
But what do we university students really need more from our church? I think discipleship is the thing. I'll talk more about this tomorrow.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
Lately I've been thinking a bit about what it means for an organization or group or ministry to be 'parachurch' and how the parachurch should be working hand-in-hand with the Church.
I tend to meet two kinds of people: those who love parachurch organizations, have seen their greatest moments while part of them, and have seen God do amazing things through them and so they want to invest all of their time into it, often at the expense of being actively involved in a local church; and those who have seen parachurch groups lose sight of their partnership with the local church and as such these persons have decided to be involved solely in local churches to the extent of being wary of such organizations and keeping others from involvement.
And I don't have an answer per se as to how a parachurch group should work, or how the church should work. I do need to read up a bit more on this. However, from what I know and from the times I've spent as part of a seminary course on the book of Acts (the early church and Paul's work), I know that they should be working hand-in-hand. Often Paul's small missionary team is called a parachurch group. The way I've seen parachurch defined is that it is not the church in that it is focused to a specific task or peoples, but made up of people from the Church, and when done best seeks to support the mission of the Church in whatever means of evangelism, discipleship, or training. A campus ministry, a bible study group, a seminary; each fits into this category.
The question of how the two can work together is at the front of my mind since I've been so stuck between the two groups of people and have kind of flip-flopped between primarily being involved in parachurch or church 'activities' and trying to unify the two groups of people, but not really knowing how to do it.
I had recently talked to a friend of mine who is a staff member with Power to Change (P2C), a campus ministry in Canada and around the world under different names. I asked her, and asked specifically about how she sees it since I knew that she, herself, had not been so actively involved in both while in university. The way she answered was golden, and makes me love God, her, the church, and parachurch all the more. I will now attempt to paraphrase. The way she sees it P2C exists solely to help Christian students grow in evangelism and bringing the gospel to other students while in university. While doing that, to be encouraging active participation in the local church and preparing them to be so for the rest of their lives. The way she sees it P2C (or any parachurch for that matter) should not be trying to do 'church' things which would compete, such as deeper bible studies, sermons, worship services, generic fellowship, life discipleship, etc., but to do what it is called to do; in P2C's case, evangelism training, evangelism, and prayer for the gospel to reach ears that will hear, and nothing more. There isn't time in the life of a full-time student for 20 hours of overlapping content from both parachurch and church, in such cases a student will choose one or the other. To do so all of P2C's stuff would be concise and to the point allowing the students to best be a part of their churches and live as part of the family of God.
When things go like that, she tells me that students are actively involved in sharing their faith, are meaningfully involved in local churches, local churches suggest people to participate in the parachurch ministries while in school, it isn't a burden on anyone, and people are coming to know Jesus! So good.
I also asked then how new believers would be discipled. She replied that they would probably have a short 5 week or so basic lessons on the gospel and our life in Jesus, but in everything to direct them to a local church. I also asked about the desire for community in the parachurch groups. She said community around the mission is great, but that the real deep communities would be in the churches and as such, the students can have fellowship and stuff, it just wouldn't be a P2C event. If they wanted to have worship before a prayer meeting, great! That's a prayer meeting. haha
My desire is to see that day in Ottawa. To see the local churches and parachurch ministries on campus to work together, not against each other. And I think we've been seeing it go in that direction this year. Discipleship groups, acting more as 'action groups' where they learn how to share their faith and then go and afterwards they can do other stuff on their time. Weekly meetings focused around sharing Jesus with others, not on throwing a church service. Students involved at their churches, going on missions, living life together, and in everything lifting up Jesus.
So good.
I want to pray for that and I want to be a catalyst on both sides (church and P2C) to help communicate and work together for the sake of the gospel and good news of Christ going to all. May students be encouraged to share their faith, may they be encouraged to live their life in the body of believers, the church, may they seek after His kingdom and righteousness in everything, may God be glorified through His Church. Amen!
But what do we university students really need more from our church? I think discipleship is the thing. I'll talk more about this tomorrow.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
21.5.15
Bitter isn't Bad.
Hey guys,
Since I don't have an official job for the summer my dad has made a list of things I can do around the house. This includes going through our storage spaces and getting rid of anything we don't need; completely painting a redoing a room; as well as normal regular maintenance. One such thing is mowing the lawns in front and back yards regularly.
It's mostly dandelions in our backyard, but upon a quick scan I saw a small flowering bush which we used to have. They call it the 'Bleeding hearts' bush because of the shape of the flowers. And if I mowed, they would be dead for a year at least for sure. So I purposed to save them.
When I thought of that I wondered how many other types of plants there were in the backyard and started to compile a list. I also found some plants which were unexpected and have yet to find some that were expected. Felt like a true adventurer after all the work digging and exploring. Still more to do, but I think I have located about 25 species of plants back here.
I really expected to find some chives since we used to have a planter with lots of them. Haven't found that yet. However, I found a patch of large mint plants and what I think is parsley (tbd). So I started to wonder a bit about what things were and what was edible and did some Internet research. Last night I had a 'foraged' dandelion and mint salad with berries, coconut oil, and almonds.
One website I looked at spoke about how it used to be that people considered there to be a 'good bitter' and a 'bad bitter'. Although dandelion is bitter, it is fully edible and rich in vitamins to help us grow. When I was growing up though, I'm pretty sure us kids thought it was poisonous and everyone is always trying to get rid of them.
And I think this is how we usually approach difficulty or hardship in our lives. We try to avoid it, we try to remove it. But ultimately it is there to grow our character, as well as our hope.
Yesterday I also got to meet up with a buddy of mine as well as a sister in Christ and it was a pleasure of both my buddy and myself to hear of her joy in Jesus even through the difficulty of depression or anxiety. Although they are difficult situations and she wishes it was gone, she delights in the small victories and ways God provides, as well as looking forward to the hope we have in Jesus. As it says in Rev21:1-5: "Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." And he who was seated on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new." Also he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.""
Especially the words of verses 4 and 5, God will remove every tear, death, pain, and suffering; He will make us and everything new. That is our hope! That although sin has caused pain and difficulty now, through Jesus and trusting in what He has done at the cross, we have been forgiven, adopted as God's children, and awaiting the day when all things will be made new again, free from that pain and sin's grip of destruction.
But even through that difficulty God provides and helps us trust in this ultimate ending! For now is but a light and momentary affliction which is incomparable to the glory that will be revealed in Jesus.
Rom5:3-5; Rom8:18-25.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
15.5.15
Changing Gears
The other day I was talking with a good brother of mine and I think he said something very simple, but very profound: "is there any progress at all?"
I had been somewhat complaining to him about how deep I feel the depths of sin in my heart and mind are, that even now it sometimes feels like there's nothing but wrong on my mind. But he asked if there was any progress. He admitted it wasn't something that was easily quantifiable and is more of a long term process, but further clarified:
The idea of switching gears had always seemed kinda dumb to me.
When you switch to a lower gear you can't go as fast. If there is a hill, you'll spend more time on it barely moving. But when you switch to a lower gear it is easier to pedal uphill. Although you end up going a little slower, sometimes a lot slower, you are making progress! And at the top of the hill you will not have been so out of breath and wouldn't have had to walk to bike up the hill.
I live on a hill, so every time I bike I need to go up a hill. haha.
But in our lives with Christ, there will be hills, there will be mountains even. But by the Holy Spirit, even if it takes time and may be difficult, He can move mountains and bring everything to completion on the day of Jesus Christ. What He has started He will finish.
D.Fa
I had been somewhat complaining to him about how deep I feel the depths of sin in my heart and mind are, that even now it sometimes feels like there's nothing but wrong on my mind. But he asked if there was any progress. He admitted it wasn't something that was easily quantifiable and is more of a long term process, but further clarified:
"Have I grown to be / walk more like Christ since last year, even since last month if you can see the difference?
Am i drawing towards God more?
Am i drawing towards God more?
Am i yearning for Him and his word more?
Has He become more of what ultimately satisfies, the one we find joy and pleasure in over other things?
How have you seen God work in your life lately?
And it doesn't meant you're always right with God, sometimes you can feel lonely, but have you seen him transforming you?
What steps are you taking to combat this sin?
Have you just sat there and been content or are you aggressively fighting?
Is fighting this sin a priority in your life, where does it stand?"
"Have you seen progress?"
Sometimes, often, I want to skip to the ending where all the progress is done already. And I had been thinking about it lately as I've been biking. Whenever I come to a hill, my first response is to see it coming and pedal as fast as I can on the highest gear before I get to the hill and just use the momentum to keep pedaling at that speed and get to the top. For smaller hills this seems to work well, but for larger hills, it invariably does not work. Soon the hill makes it so you cannot even pedal, and you may have to walk the bike up the hill.
Sometimes, often, I want to skip to the ending where all the progress is done already. And I had been thinking about it lately as I've been biking. Whenever I come to a hill, my first response is to see it coming and pedal as fast as I can on the highest gear before I get to the hill and just use the momentum to keep pedaling at that speed and get to the top. For smaller hills this seems to work well, but for larger hills, it invariably does not work. Soon the hill makes it so you cannot even pedal, and you may have to walk the bike up the hill.
The idea of switching gears had always seemed kinda dumb to me.
When you switch to a lower gear you can't go as fast. If there is a hill, you'll spend more time on it barely moving. But when you switch to a lower gear it is easier to pedal uphill. Although you end up going a little slower, sometimes a lot slower, you are making progress! And at the top of the hill you will not have been so out of breath and wouldn't have had to walk to bike up the hill.
I live on a hill, so every time I bike I need to go up a hill. haha.
But in our lives with Christ, there will be hills, there will be mountains even. But by the Holy Spirit, even if it takes time and may be difficult, He can move mountains and bring everything to completion on the day of Jesus Christ. What He has started He will finish.
D.Fa
10.5.15
Check on the Bucketlist
Yo.
Kinda funny. Today was really great. Various reasons. Good time with God. Watched some anime. Shared the gospel. Pretty sweet time in the Bible with other Young Adults. Probably the funniest to say is that I shared the gospel through anime, specifically a show called "is it wrong to try to pick up girls in a dungeon?"
Don't get me wrong, I know the title sounds bad. The show is actually quite good. The plot is very thin "that girl saved me! I like her. I want to be strong enough that I could save her, then she'd like me!", but the content can be very good. Recently as the main character, Bell, has been going into the dungeon to fight monsters he's brought a supporter, someone to carry dropped items and be back-up fighting support. The supporter he got had a shady background and stole his most precious knife and ran. She got caught by some bad guys who took all her stuff and left her with a swarm of giant ant monsters, which she had no way of fighting. So she just has seconds before getting killed. And this isn't a game. In this anime, this is the world, not a game. If you die, you die. So she is laying on the ground, beat up, and imminent death:
So she's thinking all through how terrible she's been and how this is what she deserves, but the reality hits her that she is actually going to die. Meanwhile, some of the main character's friends are talking about how he should ditch this supporter, but "no matter what happens, he won't abandon that supporter." and flashback to the morning when Bell was talking to his friend "even if that's true, if she's in trouble, I want to help her." So BAM! out of no where Bell comes in and fights the swarm of giant ants with his knife and some magic.
"Yup."
And so she throws herself into his arms, bawling, and apologizing.
I asked my friend, who is also watching this show, about if he related at all with the supporter girl. And explained how I thought the whole scene was reminiscent of how God came to save us even though we fully didn't deserve it, but deserved to die for all the ways we've lied and cheated and rebelled against God, His creation, other people made in His image, and even the plans He has for us, as we seek after selfish goals and ambitions, various as they may be.
In any case, I'd been dying to share the gospel using anime, and so, I'm counting this as an answered prayer. xP. God is pretty cool. haha
Ttyl.
D.Fa
Kinda funny. Today was really great. Various reasons. Good time with God. Watched some anime. Shared the gospel. Pretty sweet time in the Bible with other Young Adults. Probably the funniest to say is that I shared the gospel through anime, specifically a show called "is it wrong to try to pick up girls in a dungeon?"
Don't get me wrong, I know the title sounds bad. The show is actually quite good. The plot is very thin "that girl saved me! I like her. I want to be strong enough that I could save her, then she'd like me!", but the content can be very good. Recently as the main character, Bell, has been going into the dungeon to fight monsters he's brought a supporter, someone to carry dropped items and be back-up fighting support. The supporter he got had a shady background and stole his most precious knife and ran. She got caught by some bad guys who took all her stuff and left her with a swarm of giant ant monsters, which she had no way of fighting. So she just has seconds before getting killed. And this isn't a game. In this anime, this is the world, not a game. If you die, you die. So she is laying on the ground, beat up, and imminent death:
"I guess this is what I deserve for deceiving Bell-sama, who was so nice to me.
If that's true, then maybe I should give up.
But it hurts.
God, why..?
Why did you make me like this?
I hate myself for being so weak and small
and nothing ever changes for me.
I was so lonely.
I wanted to be with someone.
I wanted to be needed.
But...
It's over now. I can finally die.
I can finally end this.
The me who can't do anything.
The weak me.
The small me.
The small me.
The worthless me.
The lonely me.
I'm finally going to ... am I going to die?!"
So she's thinking all through how terrible she's been and how this is what she deserves, but the reality hits her that she is actually going to die. Meanwhile, some of the main character's friends are talking about how he should ditch this supporter, but "no matter what happens, he won't abandon that supporter." and flashback to the morning when Bell was talking to his friend "even if that's true, if she's in trouble, I want to help her." So BAM! out of no where Bell comes in and fights the swarm of giant ants with his knife and some magic.
"Why?
Why did you save me?
Why aren't you avandoning me?
Wait, do you not understand that I was tricking you?
(she confesses all the bad stuff she did: stealing a knife, lying about the gold and drops, saying mean things, etc.)
Don't you understand? I'm a bad person! A thief! I'm the worst kind of jerk! I've done nothing but lie to you! Will you... Will you save me anyway?"
"Yup."
"Why?"
'Because it's you. I wanted to save you because you're you. I can't find another reason. I don't need another reason to save you. If you're in trouble, talk to me. I won't understand everything, but I'll save you.'
And so she throws herself into his arms, bawling, and apologizing.
I asked my friend, who is also watching this show, about if he related at all with the supporter girl. And explained how I thought the whole scene was reminiscent of how God came to save us even though we fully didn't deserve it, but deserved to die for all the ways we've lied and cheated and rebelled against God, His creation, other people made in His image, and even the plans He has for us, as we seek after selfish goals and ambitions, various as they may be.
In any case, I'd been dying to share the gospel using anime, and so, I'm counting this as an answered prayer. xP. God is pretty cool. haha
Ttyl.
D.Fa
6.5.15
Jumps and Flats
Yo,
so a few days ago I was biking to church. It was a nice relaxing 30 minute ride. While on this ride I determined to learn how to do something: get over curbs by jumping up onto them with the front wheel. Now, this is actually pretty simple, you just pull up sharply when riding and the front wheel will jump off the ground a bit while you are still moving forward and fall down on top of the curb. But I had never realized this. Watching kids do this, it seems like a lot of work and pretty dangerous. But in actuality is so simple! So, I'm kinda obsessed with it now, and I feel so cool doing it! It's like having another childhood.
But really, I love biking. I can't talk highly about it enough. I highly recommend it. xP
However, I also highly recommend buying your own bike pump. I have had terrible luck with free pumps lately. When I got my new bike from BR when he left for Texas the front tire was flat, so I brought the pump MM had given me way back when (it was kinda rusty, admittedly) and it didn't pump up. Must be flat, I thought. So I took the inner tube out and found it wasn't punctured. So I needed to walk over to AS's and use her pump. The other day, I was at school and there's this bike fixing station by the Architecture building and there's a pump. So I went to top off my tires. #Fshooooooooooooooooooooo.........# > . <## It was now flat............... Tried for 15 minutes to get it to work...... Nope. Called up AS. haha... I swear I'll get a pump soon.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
so a few days ago I was biking to church. It was a nice relaxing 30 minute ride. While on this ride I determined to learn how to do something: get over curbs by jumping up onto them with the front wheel. Now, this is actually pretty simple, you just pull up sharply when riding and the front wheel will jump off the ground a bit while you are still moving forward and fall down on top of the curb. But I had never realized this. Watching kids do this, it seems like a lot of work and pretty dangerous. But in actuality is so simple! So, I'm kinda obsessed with it now, and I feel so cool doing it! It's like having another childhood.
But really, I love biking. I can't talk highly about it enough. I highly recommend it. xP
However, I also highly recommend buying your own bike pump. I have had terrible luck with free pumps lately. When I got my new bike from BR when he left for Texas the front tire was flat, so I brought the pump MM had given me way back when (it was kinda rusty, admittedly) and it didn't pump up. Must be flat, I thought. So I took the inner tube out and found it wasn't punctured. So I needed to walk over to AS's and use her pump. The other day, I was at school and there's this bike fixing station by the Architecture building and there's a pump. So I went to top off my tires. #Fshooooooooooooooooooooo.........# > . <## It was now flat............... Tried for 15 minutes to get it to work...... Nope. Called up AS. haha... I swear I'll get a pump soon.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
5.5.15
Assorted Tales
Yo guys,
I've been really all over the place lately, both figuratively and literally. haha. To start, I've decided against getting a job for the summer. As such I will need to save as much money as possible before my grad school funding starts coming in in September.
One way I am intending to do that is by biking everywhere all summer. This started a week or so ago and the amount of biking has steadily increased from about 5 minute trips to 30 minute trips. I really like biking. Ever since my housemate back in 2nd year got me a bike and convinced me to bike to school. Then in Saskatoon I was also too cheap to buy a bus pass, so I got a kijiji bike and biked 15 minutes to work each day. It was so good. Just the freedom of being able to bike wherever, whenever, for free is so great. Especially with this perfect Ottawa summer weather.
To enjoy the weather further I've signed up for a membership with a local tennis club. It was $50 for the entire season! So cheap! And I convinced JF to join too. xP. So I'll be playing all the time. We joined the ladder too, so about 8 games per month at least. The practice game we played last week was good. After having been off for a while I can relearn how to serve well. I ended up getting a number of aces! =D But it was a typical match for me where I kind of trail just behind the guy I'm playing. The score ended up being 8-7 for JF where he was only ever ahead by 1 or 2 games, but we ended up usually being tied. (5 deuces in one game. haha) He said "You've got a talent, I'm not sure what it is, but you've got it." I always say it was my brother's doing (if I started winning he got angry).
Speaking of anger, knitting is very relaxing. haha. Unless you're knitting a blanket! This thing is 16 x 17 squares right now (each square a 18x10 garter stitch knit square, worsted weight, acrylic, size 9 needles) so roughly about 40 inches by 40 inches. Roughly. The intention is for a sitting blanket when you're cold on a couch. Nearly done! Not... Estimated to be another 27-60 hours of non-stop knitting. But I'm done with 1 of the 3 colours, but I might want to do a final border in the 1st colour. I really don't want to buy more yarn though. lol. Can't wait to start other projects! =D
Finally, a project I'd like to start up is relearning how to play trombone! Now that I'm free / I'll be a grad student in September, I'd like to join a band, whichever one NF was in (a Carleton band I think). So I need to learn trombone again and my mother can come listen. This is also partially caused by my current favourite anime: "Hibike! Euphonium". It's so good!!! Today's episode was about a concert band marching competition and they packed up all the instruments in a moving truck and went to the competition. "the male students are very useful in these situations" or something. Very true. They didn't need to move all the percussion though. haha.
I'll ttyl about more stuff.
D.Fa
I've been really all over the place lately, both figuratively and literally. haha. To start, I've decided against getting a job for the summer. As such I will need to save as much money as possible before my grad school funding starts coming in in September.
One way I am intending to do that is by biking everywhere all summer. This started a week or so ago and the amount of biking has steadily increased from about 5 minute trips to 30 minute trips. I really like biking. Ever since my housemate back in 2nd year got me a bike and convinced me to bike to school. Then in Saskatoon I was also too cheap to buy a bus pass, so I got a kijiji bike and biked 15 minutes to work each day. It was so good. Just the freedom of being able to bike wherever, whenever, for free is so great. Especially with this perfect Ottawa summer weather.
To enjoy the weather further I've signed up for a membership with a local tennis club. It was $50 for the entire season! So cheap! And I convinced JF to join too. xP. So I'll be playing all the time. We joined the ladder too, so about 8 games per month at least. The practice game we played last week was good. After having been off for a while I can relearn how to serve well. I ended up getting a number of aces! =D But it was a typical match for me where I kind of trail just behind the guy I'm playing. The score ended up being 8-7 for JF where he was only ever ahead by 1 or 2 games, but we ended up usually being tied. (5 deuces in one game. haha) He said "You've got a talent, I'm not sure what it is, but you've got it." I always say it was my brother's doing (if I started winning he got angry).
Speaking of anger, knitting is very relaxing. haha. Unless you're knitting a blanket! This thing is 16 x 17 squares right now (each square a 18x10 garter stitch knit square, worsted weight, acrylic, size 9 needles) so roughly about 40 inches by 40 inches. Roughly. The intention is for a sitting blanket when you're cold on a couch. Nearly done! Not... Estimated to be another 27-60 hours of non-stop knitting. But I'm done with 1 of the 3 colours, but I might want to do a final border in the 1st colour. I really don't want to buy more yarn though. lol. Can't wait to start other projects! =D
Finally, a project I'd like to start up is relearning how to play trombone! Now that I'm free / I'll be a grad student in September, I'd like to join a band, whichever one NF was in (a Carleton band I think). So I need to learn trombone again and my mother can come listen. This is also partially caused by my current favourite anime: "Hibike! Euphonium". It's so good!!! Today's episode was about a concert band marching competition and they packed up all the instruments in a moving truck and went to the competition. "the male students are very useful in these situations" or something. Very true. They didn't need to move all the percussion though. haha.
I'll ttyl about more stuff.
D.Fa
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