.
I don't know what to say. I don't even know what to think right now.
I just had, well, I guess you can't call it a conversation because it was a bit one sided... I just spoke with a man who has had such an incredible role in my walk with God and right now my mind is blown.
I don't know where to begin, and I probably won't because I do believe I need to take some time and really digest this.
---
When you think you know everything, and you don't.
When you think you can simply diagnose, and put pills in it to make it better.
When that hole in your heart pushes you past your comfort zone to find solutions and ways to fill it on your own.
When you jump to conclusions.
When you repeatedly try to do the same thing to try and get different results.
And then time stops.
Your whole world stops spinning.
Momentum has been broken.
The silence, that lets you think again.
What now? What about then? What about tomorrow?
What will be written on that next page?
Is this even true?
Can I trust in this?
Can the scientific method prove this statement?
But this is the answer. Isn't it? Isn't this what you've always been thinking? I didn't even say it and the words were there. I didn't even say yes or no, but the script kept going. Literally ripping the thoughts out of my mind because I was too scared to say them.
This absolutely changes everything.
But is it too late?
Can this momentum be stopped?
Can what is written be erased? Can I rewrite this?
Stop. Be still and know that I am God.
The silence.
26.11.13
24.11.13
Fellowship
This morning Pastor DB (although freshly ordained) did not give a sermon at OCBC. Instead a guy who is like district superintendent for like Manitoba and Ontario spoke about Fellowship.
He started with the passage from Acts 2 asking "how can our churches today see expansion like back then?" and explained a numebr of the terms used at the end, like devoted to the teaching and prayer and everything. But then he shared how most of this last section is actually about fellowship and community. He spoke of how at a conference the speaker was saying 'if you take one thing away from this conference it has done its purpose' and he took this back: that community and fellowship is super important. The conference speaker challenged everyone to go back to their churches and eavesdrop over fellowship time at church (coffee time) and see what they were talking about. The weather. Sports. That isn't fellowship.
So he told us about real community in small groups. Getting to actually know the guys in your groups. At his church they implemented small groups of 4-12 people and since then the atmosphere really changed from cold to warm and it was awesome.
Fellowship = in depth spiritual community. Open, honest, Christ-centered community.
That is what happened tonight for the BaD guys' study. (Becoming a Disciple, guys' Bible study). We have open conversations and discussions of Biblical topics, eat and fellowship with each other. This week the group was a little different cause a couple guys couldn't come and we had a new guy to the group, but it was sweet. Talking about baptism. lol. After the study today me and a couple guys stayed and really discussed our stories and what God has done. It was awesome. And ya. This group is kinda the highlight of my week now.
Now that we are done the study on baptism we can start getting to the teaching and applying it. Cannot wait. lol.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
PS. Blessed and humbled to be a part of this study. So much grace.
He started with the passage from Acts 2 asking "how can our churches today see expansion like back then?" and explained a numebr of the terms used at the end, like devoted to the teaching and prayer and everything. But then he shared how most of this last section is actually about fellowship and community. He spoke of how at a conference the speaker was saying 'if you take one thing away from this conference it has done its purpose' and he took this back: that community and fellowship is super important. The conference speaker challenged everyone to go back to their churches and eavesdrop over fellowship time at church (coffee time) and see what they were talking about. The weather. Sports. That isn't fellowship.
So he told us about real community in small groups. Getting to actually know the guys in your groups. At his church they implemented small groups of 4-12 people and since then the atmosphere really changed from cold to warm and it was awesome.
Fellowship = in depth spiritual community. Open, honest, Christ-centered community.
That is what happened tonight for the BaD guys' study. (Becoming a Disciple, guys' Bible study). We have open conversations and discussions of Biblical topics, eat and fellowship with each other. This week the group was a little different cause a couple guys couldn't come and we had a new guy to the group, but it was sweet. Talking about baptism. lol. After the study today me and a couple guys stayed and really discussed our stories and what God has done. It was awesome. And ya. This group is kinda the highlight of my week now.
Now that we are done the study on baptism we can start getting to the teaching and applying it. Cannot wait. lol.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
PS. Blessed and humbled to be a part of this study. So much grace.
23.11.13
Be Still; Ponder His Works
Wait.
I was about to write a really depressing post about sin and struggle and the somewhat monotonous turn of events that lead you up to a great place only to fall flat on your face the next day, but I'd rather not right now. There's way too much stuff to praise God for.
Last Sunday was the first meeting of a Bible study that was just 6 guys. Other than me there was a guy who had just accepted Jesus as his saviour, repented and asked for forgiveness; two Chinese masters students who were both really open to learning about Jesus and were asking amazing questions; a friend of mine from a while ago who has had his fair shares of ups and downs with the church; and my buddy who grew up in a conservative church and recently has really come to experience God's faithfulness as he takes steps in faith to follow God's calling to reach the world with the message of the gospel. So, it was an amazing group and I cannot wait for tomorrow.
Last week we talked about the gospel and how Peter first preached it to the Gentiles. We discussed what it means to us, how we first heard it, the main points that Peter brought up and why. This week is about baptism, so I don't know exactly what will happen. lol. But it should be awesome.
This week I slept in a lot and stayed at work until 6pm.
Wednesday was great. For our Discipleship Group time, me and five other guys broke off into pairs and went around campus talking with other students about significance and how God gives us significance. We all had really awesome conversations. AG went with RB and they had awesome conversations. I went with ZL and we ran into his classmate and we also had another awesome conversation. And MS went with EP for his first time and had one scary guy and another awesome conversation. xP. There was a general 'I'm busy now, but we should talk about it later' kinda feel to the conversations, but it was good.
Yesterday was a discussion coffeehouse event at school about significance and there were a number of students not involved with P2C that had come out and it was cool. And afterwards me and SM went to KK's to practice for the Christmas concert with KK. We were doing an acapella piece and it sounds so good. xP
Today I had nothing, so I slept in, like way later than normal, like 10.5 hours of sleeping..? Kinda wasteful. haha.
But ya, going to Pastor DB's ordination service in an hour. Excited for that too. So many exciting stuff is happening and the fact that God chooses to let me and you, who are so stained by sin, so rebelious and stubborn; that He chooses to have us involved in this master plan of His is absolutely amazing. We don't deserve a shred of it. We deserve the punishment which Christ took for us; and instead we get life, forgiveness, and purpose. A significance in the eternity of others. A role to play that has been written specifically for us. The depth of this love and grace are unfathomable and I need to take it seriously. That which is only being accomplished by His Spirit and power at work, why should I ever try to accomplish it by my flesh and weakness?
Hebrews 6:1-3 "Therefore let us move beyond the elementary teachings about Christ and be taken forward to maturity, not laying again the foundation of repentance from acts that lead to death, and of faith in God, instruction about cleansing rites, the laying on of hands, the resurrection of the dead, and eternal judgment. And God permitting, we will do so."
Ttyl.
D.Fa
I was about to write a really depressing post about sin and struggle and the somewhat monotonous turn of events that lead you up to a great place only to fall flat on your face the next day, but I'd rather not right now. There's way too much stuff to praise God for.
Last Sunday was the first meeting of a Bible study that was just 6 guys. Other than me there was a guy who had just accepted Jesus as his saviour, repented and asked for forgiveness; two Chinese masters students who were both really open to learning about Jesus and were asking amazing questions; a friend of mine from a while ago who has had his fair shares of ups and downs with the church; and my buddy who grew up in a conservative church and recently has really come to experience God's faithfulness as he takes steps in faith to follow God's calling to reach the world with the message of the gospel. So, it was an amazing group and I cannot wait for tomorrow.
Last week we talked about the gospel and how Peter first preached it to the Gentiles. We discussed what it means to us, how we first heard it, the main points that Peter brought up and why. This week is about baptism, so I don't know exactly what will happen. lol. But it should be awesome.
This week I slept in a lot and stayed at work until 6pm.
Wednesday was great. For our Discipleship Group time, me and five other guys broke off into pairs and went around campus talking with other students about significance and how God gives us significance. We all had really awesome conversations. AG went with RB and they had awesome conversations. I went with ZL and we ran into his classmate and we also had another awesome conversation. And MS went with EP for his first time and had one scary guy and another awesome conversation. xP. There was a general 'I'm busy now, but we should talk about it later' kinda feel to the conversations, but it was good.
Yesterday was a discussion coffeehouse event at school about significance and there were a number of students not involved with P2C that had come out and it was cool. And afterwards me and SM went to KK's to practice for the Christmas concert with KK. We were doing an acapella piece and it sounds so good. xP
Today I had nothing, so I slept in, like way later than normal, like 10.5 hours of sleeping..? Kinda wasteful. haha.
But ya, going to Pastor DB's ordination service in an hour. Excited for that too. So many exciting stuff is happening and the fact that God chooses to let me and you, who are so stained by sin, so rebelious and stubborn; that He chooses to have us involved in this master plan of His is absolutely amazing. We don't deserve a shred of it. We deserve the punishment which Christ took for us; and instead we get life, forgiveness, and purpose. A significance in the eternity of others. A role to play that has been written specifically for us. The depth of this love and grace are unfathomable and I need to take it seriously. That which is only being accomplished by His Spirit and power at work, why should I ever try to accomplish it by my flesh and weakness?
Hebrews 6:1-3 "Therefore let us move beyond the elementary teachings about Christ and be taken forward to maturity, not laying again the foundation of repentance from acts that lead to death, and of faith in God, instruction about cleansing rites, the laying on of hands, the resurrection of the dead, and eternal judgment. And God permitting, we will do so."
Ttyl.
D.Fa
17.11.13
Best Bible Study
Yo!
So, I just had like, the best Bible study ever. haha. Just me and 5 other guys today (was expecting 6, ohwell, next week maybe) looking at what is the gospel? haha
So good!
Like, three of the guys really don't know much about Jesus and the gospel and what it means to follow Jesus, so they asked a lot of questions. One guy who came really didn't say anything in a larger Bible study the other week, but was really involved today and even volunteered to pray at the end, and I don't know for sure, but I'm pretty sure he isn't Christian yet. So it's really exciting. Also another guy I literally just met on facebook who isn't Christian was asking a million questions and seemed to be really really interested in everything. haha
Acts 10:34-48. Peter's first sermon to Gentiles.
Anyways, I'm just so excited. haha. I cannot wait for next week. xP.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
So, I just had like, the best Bible study ever. haha. Just me and 5 other guys today (was expecting 6, ohwell, next week maybe) looking at what is the gospel? haha
So good!
Like, three of the guys really don't know much about Jesus and the gospel and what it means to follow Jesus, so they asked a lot of questions. One guy who came really didn't say anything in a larger Bible study the other week, but was really involved today and even volunteered to pray at the end, and I don't know for sure, but I'm pretty sure he isn't Christian yet. So it's really exciting. Also another guy I literally just met on facebook who isn't Christian was asking a million questions and seemed to be really really interested in everything. haha
Acts 10:34-48. Peter's first sermon to Gentiles.
Anyways, I'm just so excited. haha. I cannot wait for next week. xP.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
11.11.13
Book Reports and Constructive Complaining
Yo. Today I didn't go to work.
I work for the Government right now, so we don't work on Remembrance Day. Instead I worked on an assignment due on Thursday! =D ... > . <
I also got to go to school and talk with Pastor DB about a bunch of things. The idea that we need to train people fully before they take responsibilities vs. People being in roles requiring responsibility and needing to learn more. Hmmmmmmmm. I like the compromise: People who are learning and also being pushed into responsibilities. But where do we begin? *sigh*
I was kinda really annoyed. haha Glad to have good brothers to vent to and filter my anger. haha. Seriously appreciative.
Oh. And I'm really excited about leading / doing an intro Bible study with our new brother GC. xP And it sounds like another guy is really interested in coming out too?!?!? He hasn't been interested in Bible studies in a while, so..! =DDDDDDDD
Ttyl.
D.Fa
I work for the Government right now, so we don't work on Remembrance Day. Instead I worked on an assignment due on Thursday! =D ... > . <
I also got to go to school and talk with Pastor DB about a bunch of things. The idea that we need to train people fully before they take responsibilities vs. People being in roles requiring responsibility and needing to learn more. Hmmmmmmmm. I like the compromise: People who are learning and also being pushed into responsibilities. But where do we begin? *sigh*
I was kinda really annoyed. haha Glad to have good brothers to vent to and filter my anger. haha. Seriously appreciative.
Oh. And I'm really excited about leading / doing an intro Bible study with our new brother GC. xP And it sounds like another guy is really interested in coming out too?!?!? He hasn't been interested in Bible studies in a while, so..! =DDDDDDDD
Ttyl.
D.Fa
Snow?
Hey guys,
I'm back in Ottawa and have been hard copy blogging for the last few days, so you can be vaguely excited for that. What I wrote down probably will not describe the BILD conference well, so don't get too excited, but it was pretty crazy awesome. XP.
Yesterday, after the prayer breakfast my day consisted of Iowa State college football, reading a book, and airplanes.
I was in Chicago for four hours, just chilling in the airport. So I got super bored and wandered around the airport so I could talk to someone. At this point everyone was flying away, like 8:20pm. I talked a bit with a Chinese guy who is working in Mexico. XP. He doesn't know Spanish, or much English, but he's pretty cool.
Later I talked to this guy who looks 10 years younger than he actually is. He wasn't asian.
Then I talked to the asian guy with a cowboy hat. He was just coming back from Texas. Lol. Cool dude. Almost sat next to him on the plane.
I ended up beside a girl from Washington instead. She was Christian, and applying for med school, and was really cool. She was way too excited when she saw snow though.
I wasn't excited for snow when I had heard. It means cold and wet and not good yet.
This morning in Sunday school one of the Aunties shared about snow and how every time she sees it it reminds her of Jesus covering up our sin with His purity making us look clean as snow.
So, now it's wet and the snow is gone.
I'm also kinda really annoyed and complainy. >...>
Ttyl.
D.Fa
4.11.13
Long Range Forcast
This week I have said this phrase a couple times "I can't wait to be unemployed" and I mean it in the best way. I mean, the way I live now I book myself with everything I could possibly do and every second is filled to the point where there is no flexibility.
With a government job I have quite a bit of flexibility, so long as I make up all the time, so with this conference my coming weeks are booked with making up the time at work.
I want to be able to go wherever God calls me, to do whatever whenever.
Being unemployed is one way to do that. And I really can't wait for next year. I am trying to decide between being a res fellow, or living with my parents. Both are great opportunities for ministry and there won't be money being passed around through me hands. So I consider that unemployed. lol. Personally, I really want to live on campus and meet a million first years and do the whole morning prayer meeting res fellow life. I'll be taking only 4 courses a semester which will be good and being on campus will save so much time commuting. But it actually is a job, I'm just being paid with a room and food. lol. So I'm trying to weigh it against living at home. So I gotta figure that out. But I'm still looking forward to next year. xP I also hope I won't be doing Sunday school teaching anymore. lol...
Beyond that though, what will I do? Like, after I graduate?
I do not know.
I really want to do ministry for a bit. I do think that. Maybe. A lot that still needs to be prayed about.
But ya, ultimately it isn't about being unemployed so much as finding a job where I can enjoy every second and do it all for God. I'll probably discuss this more next week. lol
Ttyl.
D.Fa
With a government job I have quite a bit of flexibility, so long as I make up all the time, so with this conference my coming weeks are booked with making up the time at work.
I want to be able to go wherever God calls me, to do whatever whenever.
Being unemployed is one way to do that. And I really can't wait for next year. I am trying to decide between being a res fellow, or living with my parents. Both are great opportunities for ministry and there won't be money being passed around through me hands. So I consider that unemployed. lol. Personally, I really want to live on campus and meet a million first years and do the whole morning prayer meeting res fellow life. I'll be taking only 4 courses a semester which will be good and being on campus will save so much time commuting. But it actually is a job, I'm just being paid with a room and food. lol. So I'm trying to weigh it against living at home. So I gotta figure that out. But I'm still looking forward to next year. xP I also hope I won't be doing Sunday school teaching anymore. lol...
Beyond that though, what will I do? Like, after I graduate?
I do not know.
I really want to do ministry for a bit. I do think that. Maybe. A lot that still needs to be prayed about.
But ya, ultimately it isn't about being unemployed so much as finding a job where I can enjoy every second and do it all for God. I'll probably discuss this more next week. lol
Ttyl.
D.Fa
Home Remodelling
Yo. So, this post is about my church in Ottawa, OCBC.
Like, all of last year I was saying how when my friend gets back from China everything would be so different she wouldn't recognize it. Then I left for the summer, and came back only for one day when no one was there. Then two weeks later came back for one week, went to Summit, and now am able to go regularly.
But in that time, so much changed.
OCBC used to be such a nice small community where I knew everyone. Primarily Carleton University students or grads that are Canadian. Like a couple families with university student children, students, children, and E & CH We'd see a new person every couple weeks or something, but that's easy. It was the same old service: 3 songs, announcements / greeting, offering / 1 song, sermon, (optional communion,) 1 song, silent prayer, musical dismissal.
Now: like 2-5 new people each week, a million people I don't know, we barely fit in the church building anymore, so many uOttawa students, so many Chinese students from China, so many adults, new service order (1 song, sermon, offering / communion / prayer / 3 songs, announcements / greeting.
SO many really good things there, but a bunch I am semi-upset about for no real good reason, and it isn't worth complaining here. xP
I am serving now on the worship team 2-3 times a month, trying to co-lead grade 7/8 children's Sunday school, trying to facilitate young adults' fellowship, and other stuff. I think I will stop teaching Sunday school next year. I cannot handle those girls. lol...
So, ya. Things have changed and it's almost like it isn't my home anymore, but it's also become so much more like home. When you are away you miss people and realize how awesome it is when you do get to see them. xP
I am really excited for the future of OCBC and what God's plans are. xP
Like, all of last year I was saying how when my friend gets back from China everything would be so different she wouldn't recognize it. Then I left for the summer, and came back only for one day when no one was there. Then two weeks later came back for one week, went to Summit, and now am able to go regularly.
But in that time, so much changed.
OCBC used to be such a nice small community where I knew everyone. Primarily Carleton University students or grads that are Canadian. Like a couple families with university student children, students, children, and E & CH We'd see a new person every couple weeks or something, but that's easy. It was the same old service: 3 songs, announcements / greeting, offering / 1 song, sermon, (optional communion,) 1 song, silent prayer, musical dismissal.
Now: like 2-5 new people each week, a million people I don't know, we barely fit in the church building anymore, so many uOttawa students, so many Chinese students from China, so many adults, new service order (1 song, sermon, offering / communion / prayer / 3 songs, announcements / greeting.
SO many really good things there, but a bunch I am semi-upset about for no real good reason, and it isn't worth complaining here. xP
I am serving now on the worship team 2-3 times a month, trying to co-lead grade 7/8 children's Sunday school, trying to facilitate young adults' fellowship, and other stuff. I think I will stop teaching Sunday school next year. I cannot handle those girls. lol...
So, ya. Things have changed and it's almost like it isn't my home anymore, but it's also become so much more like home. When you are away you miss people and realize how awesome it is when you do get to see them. xP
I am really excited for the future of OCBC and what God's plans are. xP
He's Got the Whole World
Yo, so sharing my story with friends and stuff has been good so far. In general it has been really good feedback and good stuff.
The issue now is trying to be organized in doing it.
I have a lot of friends (on facebook) and am trying to sort them into a prioritized list so I can better have these conversations with people. So, that's actually kinda slowed me down. And it's made me realize how much of a Christian bubble I sometimes live in.
More over, I've kinda gone back to just hiding it. Being scared of what new people would think, or how it would completely change my relationships with those who don't really know me yet. It's kinda the same thing as before... Which is stupid. haha.
I've also been over thinking about it way too much. It doesn't define me. I have been adopted by Christ's blood and am a son of God first and foremost. So, who cares if they find out about this. Who cares if I lose a friend or two. Who cares, so long as the gospel is preached and people can hear of God's love for them?
So, I google+ hungout with a brother in Christ from Quebec and talked the other day. He's pretty cool. lol. It's so much more simple than I make it out to be by over thinking. Pretty much all he said was "it comes down to will you follow God or not?" lol.
Sunday at church kinda was great. lol
First was Children's Sunday school. We sang 'This Little Light of Mine' and 'Nothing but the Blood of Jesus'.
The lesson was about the Holy Spirit. One verse said "those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God." Later I was on worship team. Always good times. After service I met JC's friend and he was just really inspired by my story. Like, he isn't Christian yet, but thought it was awesome. o.O
So, pretty much, 'stop worrying about it. Just follow my lead. I can do more than you can imagine.'
The old saying 'do your best and let God do the rest' applies I believe. haha. I don't need to worry, I just need to go where He tells me and follow His lead and don't worry about it.
Twice this last week I've had a couple guys pretty much tell me I am relying on my self too much.
I gotta keep remembering that He is with me. That His Spirit is in me. That to live is Christ, a daily sacrifice, and all for eternal life; to know God and experience Him personally and to be His ambassador to the nations, including Carleton and Health Canada and my family.
If my whole life is about me, than it's wasted.
He's always got bigger plans than I can imagine. Just gotta trust in the little bit I can see as He reveals more and more of it.
Easier said than done. Pray for me to be always filled with the Spirit and seeking to live as Christ did, embracing the suffering ahead for the glory to come.
The issue now is trying to be organized in doing it.
I have a lot of friends (on facebook) and am trying to sort them into a prioritized list so I can better have these conversations with people. So, that's actually kinda slowed me down. And it's made me realize how much of a Christian bubble I sometimes live in.
More over, I've kinda gone back to just hiding it. Being scared of what new people would think, or how it would completely change my relationships with those who don't really know me yet. It's kinda the same thing as before... Which is stupid. haha.
I've also been over thinking about it way too much. It doesn't define me. I have been adopted by Christ's blood and am a son of God first and foremost. So, who cares if they find out about this. Who cares if I lose a friend or two. Who cares, so long as the gospel is preached and people can hear of God's love for them?
So, I google+ hungout with a brother in Christ from Quebec and talked the other day. He's pretty cool. lol. It's so much more simple than I make it out to be by over thinking. Pretty much all he said was "it comes down to will you follow God or not?" lol.
Sunday at church kinda was great. lol
First was Children's Sunday school. We sang 'This Little Light of Mine' and 'Nothing but the Blood of Jesus'.
The lesson was about the Holy Spirit. One verse said "those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God." Later I was on worship team. Always good times. After service I met JC's friend and he was just really inspired by my story. Like, he isn't Christian yet, but thought it was awesome. o.O
So, pretty much, 'stop worrying about it. Just follow my lead. I can do more than you can imagine.'
The old saying 'do your best and let God do the rest' applies I believe. haha. I don't need to worry, I just need to go where He tells me and follow His lead and don't worry about it.
Twice this last week I've had a couple guys pretty much tell me I am relying on my self too much.
I gotta keep remembering that He is with me. That His Spirit is in me. That to live is Christ, a daily sacrifice, and all for eternal life; to know God and experience Him personally and to be His ambassador to the nations, including Carleton and Health Canada and my family.
If my whole life is about me, than it's wasted.
He's always got bigger plans than I can imagine. Just gotta trust in the little bit I can see as He reveals more and more of it.
Easier said than done. Pray for me to be always filled with the Spirit and seeking to live as Christ did, embracing the suffering ahead for the glory to come.
3.11.13
P2C this Semester
Aside from Summit I have been involved in P2C ministry in a number of ways.
First thing for me was that prayer was absolutely important, so I determined to go to a prayer meeting everyday, which at first was going to be either P2C prayer meeting or the morning res prayer meetings (which I don't think I would have actually been able to wake up for) but after Summit I committed to going to P2C prayer meetings.
I've also been at most of the weekly meetings since getting back. Largely because MT kept asking me to speak or give a testimony or help out in other ways. Weekly Connect Meetings were low on my priority list, but now are higher since it is the chance to encourage the whole group an dchallenge people to go on project with me. xP
Ya, I really cannot wait to go back on project this year. I have applied to be an intern for a project this year, meaning that I'll be kinda a student leader with responsibilities for training other students and discipling some guys. DRP. I made sure to fill out my application before Thanksgiving ended, simply so that I could get going already with support raising and everything. xP. Every other time it was like Jan 31st when I applied (deadline), so this'll be good. Gotta nag my one remaining reference though. xP. I'm really excited because of how many other people God is speaking to about this specific project though. xP
The main way I have been involved though has been DG's, Discipleship Groups. I'm involved in two of these groups. The first is just the one I am in for the guy DG leaders and we are reading through Ephesians, which is pretty cool. The other one I am kinda leading. I say kinda because I don't want to be. haha. It's an upper year guy DG, so all the guys in 2nd year or higher, excluding the other two guy leaders, are in my group. So, since they are older and more experienced, I'm kinda challenging them to own this DG and lead it sometimes, and be contributors and really engage and apply what we learn. We are going through Daniel and looking at how to do ministry in a secular environment. So far 4 of the 7 guys have co-led the DG. The other three aren't as committed it seems. One guy hasn't been to any of the studies. > . > But ya, positive: the four who have led are pretty committed and should be built up to lead in the future.
Of those 4 I am trying to kinda disciple two of them. One I have been able to really develop a great relationship with. He kinda annoys me sometimes (xP) but his heart to grow and be salt and light in the face of hardship is sweet. I want to be there for him and just encourage him in everything. He is applying to go to East Asia, and I kinda wish I was going with him. No, I do wish that, not kinda. lol. The other is really growing and tryign to step outside his comfort zone. He's an awesome guy who I met back in second year who is just now getting serious about putting his faith into practice.
Pray for my involvement, that I wouldn't be over burdened, but give it all to God, and pray also for all seven guys in my DG. These guys are awesome I want to see them make a great impact both on campus and in every aspect of their lives for the Great Commission.
First thing for me was that prayer was absolutely important, so I determined to go to a prayer meeting everyday, which at first was going to be either P2C prayer meeting or the morning res prayer meetings (which I don't think I would have actually been able to wake up for) but after Summit I committed to going to P2C prayer meetings.
I've also been at most of the weekly meetings since getting back. Largely because MT kept asking me to speak or give a testimony or help out in other ways. Weekly Connect Meetings were low on my priority list, but now are higher since it is the chance to encourage the whole group an dchallenge people to go on project with me. xP
Ya, I really cannot wait to go back on project this year. I have applied to be an intern for a project this year, meaning that I'll be kinda a student leader with responsibilities for training other students and discipling some guys. DRP. I made sure to fill out my application before Thanksgiving ended, simply so that I could get going already with support raising and everything. xP. Every other time it was like Jan 31st when I applied (deadline), so this'll be good. Gotta nag my one remaining reference though. xP. I'm really excited because of how many other people God is speaking to about this specific project though. xP
The main way I have been involved though has been DG's, Discipleship Groups. I'm involved in two of these groups. The first is just the one I am in for the guy DG leaders and we are reading through Ephesians, which is pretty cool. The other one I am kinda leading. I say kinda because I don't want to be. haha. It's an upper year guy DG, so all the guys in 2nd year or higher, excluding the other two guy leaders, are in my group. So, since they are older and more experienced, I'm kinda challenging them to own this DG and lead it sometimes, and be contributors and really engage and apply what we learn. We are going through Daniel and looking at how to do ministry in a secular environment. So far 4 of the 7 guys have co-led the DG. The other three aren't as committed it seems. One guy hasn't been to any of the studies. > . > But ya, positive: the four who have led are pretty committed and should be built up to lead in the future.
Of those 4 I am trying to kinda disciple two of them. One I have been able to really develop a great relationship with. He kinda annoys me sometimes (xP) but his heart to grow and be salt and light in the face of hardship is sweet. I want to be there for him and just encourage him in everything. He is applying to go to East Asia, and I kinda wish I was going with him. No, I do wish that, not kinda. lol. The other is really growing and tryign to step outside his comfort zone. He's an awesome guy who I met back in second year who is just now getting serious about putting his faith into practice.
Pray for my involvement, that I wouldn't be over burdened, but give it all to God, and pray also for all seven guys in my DG. These guys are awesome I want to see them make a great impact both on campus and in every aspect of their lives for the Great Commission.
Summit 2014
So, although I am on co-op, I can do P2C stuff and the thing I was most excited about was going to Summit the annual fall retreat. xP. Last year a girl who was on co-op had gone, so I couldn't wait to go. lol
Anyways, it was interesting. Usually Carleton sends a lot of students. This year there were only 13 of us. Queens had like 11 students and this was their first year restarting the movement. So, we were pretty small, but God really spoke to our group.
The main speaker was a Carleton grad, DL, who had also been to Asia and had lived in Scotland for the last couple years doing ministry in Glasgow, so he had so many stories of what God had done around the world and at Carleton when him and the other students prayed big things. His main challenge was to live out our faith barbarically, meaning that we follow Christ full out not hesitating because we know who He is and that He is worth following.
But ya, our small group was really challenged. This was true for everyone of the 13, but especially for BG and AG. They had both come from pretty conservative churches where being pushed out of your comfort zone to go and share the gospel was kinda like, and additional thing, not really required of everyone. So the idea that initiative evangelism and sharing with strangers on campus was really foreign and, as it should be, scary. But being being challenged and spending time thinking praying about it both of them were ready to take that step and the following week they went out on campus and did just that.
One thing that was awesome is that DL like took us aside and had dinner with us ad challenged us specifically to pray for big things. So, what did we do? We prayed. xP. We actually ended up late for the next session because we just kept praying. haha. Cool thing is that God really started to show how faithful He is to answer prayer and be active on campus in the hearts of students. The week after Summit we saw a girl accept Christ and saw a whole bunch of people really interested.
Pray that we continue with this momentum. It's a little different for me since I'm not on campus much, but I really do want to go sharing more often and be involved on campus more, but I can't do everything, right? / It isn't about me, it's about God and I want to continue to serve Him with everything I have wherever He sends me whether work or school or other places. xP
Anyways, it was interesting. Usually Carleton sends a lot of students. This year there were only 13 of us. Queens had like 11 students and this was their first year restarting the movement. So, we were pretty small, but God really spoke to our group.
The main speaker was a Carleton grad, DL, who had also been to Asia and had lived in Scotland for the last couple years doing ministry in Glasgow, so he had so many stories of what God had done around the world and at Carleton when him and the other students prayed big things. His main challenge was to live out our faith barbarically, meaning that we follow Christ full out not hesitating because we know who He is and that He is worth following.
But ya, our small group was really challenged. This was true for everyone of the 13, but especially for BG and AG. They had both come from pretty conservative churches where being pushed out of your comfort zone to go and share the gospel was kinda like, and additional thing, not really required of everyone. So the idea that initiative evangelism and sharing with strangers on campus was really foreign and, as it should be, scary. But being being challenged and spending time thinking praying about it both of them were ready to take that step and the following week they went out on campus and did just that.
One thing that was awesome is that DL like took us aside and had dinner with us ad challenged us specifically to pray for big things. So, what did we do? We prayed. xP. We actually ended up late for the next session because we just kept praying. haha. Cool thing is that God really started to show how faithful He is to answer prayer and be active on campus in the hearts of students. The week after Summit we saw a girl accept Christ and saw a whole bunch of people really interested.
Pray that we continue with this momentum. It's a little different for me since I'm not on campus much, but I really do want to go sharing more often and be involved on campus more, but I can't do everything, right? / It isn't about me, it's about God and I want to continue to serve Him with everything I have wherever He sends me whether work or school or other places. xP
EPP / BILD
So, a story from the very present / slightly future time period.
This week is gonna be awesome on so many levels. I've been looking forward to it for so long. This Friday is the once a year, super awesome time with both Carleton and uOttawa where we get to talk about Projects!!! The one and only Epik Project Party!!! =D (Which I've actually only been to once. >.>) But I couldn't wait for this!
And then, ... , I'm not going again..? > . <
I'd actually already prepared and practiced for the worship team and was waiting for the call to give a testimony and share about projects. I also had so many things booked for this week too. Worship team, DG, leading DG, discing time, worship team, Christmas concert practice, everything not to mantion a full time job and a class. haha.
But then Tuesday Pastor DB invited me to come with him to this crazy awesome conference in Iowa this next week. . .
Biggest decision ever. > . <
As always I was hoping that my boss would just say 'no. you cannot go.' and so I wouldn't have a choice to make, but alas she said 'just tell me when you are gone! =D' pretty much. >.> So I had to think a lot and I think the BILD conference will be awesome. xP. It's like an international missions conference for the training of church planting movement leaders and pastors that are from around the world. So it should be awesome. I'm still gonna talk about Projects and everything all the time. xP, but this could be an awesome once in a long while opportunity, so I decided to go. I also don't get to talk with Pastor DB much, so this'll be a good time.
I'll be gone Tuesday afternoon to Saturday at midnight, so it'll be cool. xP
This week is gonna be awesome on so many levels. I've been looking forward to it for so long. This Friday is the once a year, super awesome time with both Carleton and uOttawa where we get to talk about Projects!!! The one and only Epik Project Party!!! =D (Which I've actually only been to once. >.>) But I couldn't wait for this!
And then, ... , I'm not going again..? > . <
I'd actually already prepared and practiced for the worship team and was waiting for the call to give a testimony and share about projects. I also had so many things booked for this week too. Worship team, DG, leading DG, discing time, worship team, Christmas concert practice, everything not to mantion a full time job and a class. haha.
But then Tuesday Pastor DB invited me to come with him to this crazy awesome conference in Iowa this next week. . .
Biggest decision ever. > . <
As always I was hoping that my boss would just say 'no. you cannot go.' and so I wouldn't have a choice to make, but alas she said 'just tell me when you are gone! =D' pretty much. >.> So I had to think a lot and I think the BILD conference will be awesome. xP. It's like an international missions conference for the training of church planting movement leaders and pastors that are from around the world. So it should be awesome. I'm still gonna talk about Projects and everything all the time. xP, but this could be an awesome once in a long while opportunity, so I decided to go. I also don't get to talk with Pastor DB much, so this'll be a good time.
I'll be gone Tuesday afternoon to Saturday at midnight, so it'll be cool. xP
UTM Summary
Mississauga Unofficial Internship
At the beginning of September I had the chance to spend two weeks in Mississauga. It was pretty awesome. XP.
The main point of this was that I got to have a taste of what it's like to be a staff member with P2C. I don't know what's ahead of me after I graduate in 2015, but spending time on staff with P2C is an option, and something I would be interested in doing, so I wanted to test it out. xP I got a taste of it: leading students in evangelism, sharing stories and vision, organizing students, being the go to connector person, kinda overseeing things so that everyone can be working to the maximum during frosh week. XP
There was so much focus on prayer and it really brought our group together. Each day meeting for prayer and sometimes worship songs, bible study and getting to know each other better before going out surveying.
The coolest thing about the whole experience was just how God was really at work at UTM. From the first day to my last day the group grew from a handful to like 15 students and (when I go on facebook and stalk them) most of them are still really involved.
The second week I started to phase out, allowing the UTM students to be the main connection to those on campus we were meeting. After I had left they continued and at the Does God Exist event there were about 65 in attendance, with a bunch of guys staying after to talk with the speaker for a couple hours.
So now they are having Action Group meetings, daily prayer meetings, and outreach events.
I really miss the campus and the students and can't wait to hear all of the crazy stories of what is happening at UTM. xP
Keep praying for this young movement as they seek to really make an impact for the great commission and see new brothers and sisters brought to Christ this year.
You can check out more of the daily UTM posts:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14
At the beginning of September I had the chance to spend two weeks in Mississauga. It was pretty awesome. XP.
The main point of this was that I got to have a taste of what it's like to be a staff member with P2C. I don't know what's ahead of me after I graduate in 2015, but spending time on staff with P2C is an option, and something I would be interested in doing, so I wanted to test it out. xP I got a taste of it: leading students in evangelism, sharing stories and vision, organizing students, being the go to connector person, kinda overseeing things so that everyone can be working to the maximum during frosh week. XP
There was so much focus on prayer and it really brought our group together. Each day meeting for prayer and sometimes worship songs, bible study and getting to know each other better before going out surveying.
The coolest thing about the whole experience was just how God was really at work at UTM. From the first day to my last day the group grew from a handful to like 15 students and (when I go on facebook and stalk them) most of them are still really involved.
The second week I started to phase out, allowing the UTM students to be the main connection to those on campus we were meeting. After I had left they continued and at the Does God Exist event there were about 65 in attendance, with a bunch of guys staying after to talk with the speaker for a couple hours.
So now they are having Action Group meetings, daily prayer meetings, and outreach events.
I really miss the campus and the students and can't wait to hear all of the crazy stories of what is happening at UTM. xP
Keep praying for this young movement as they seek to really make an impact for the great commission and see new brothers and sisters brought to Christ this year.
 | |||
| A group of the students at UTM as well as JW the staff member (far left) |
You can check out more of the daily UTM posts:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14
Co-op Jobs
So, I work like 5 blocks or something (like 10-15 min walk) from my house, which is also like a block from the train which gets to Carleton in one stop, so I'm pretty connected and live close to everything. xP
My job is a blessing and I will say it again. I had no idea where it was or what it really was when I applied for it, but it is really sweet. It's in this building with blue and yellow squares on it and as a kid I always wondered what was in it.
I am working with Health Canada PMRA with my section specifically working on herbicide and fungicide usage in Canada or on imported commodities. I do database entry of MRLs as well as working on reviewing applicant's submission data, which can actually be pretty cool, but is also a lot of paper / desk work.
We are kinda in pods and so we need to be quiet for everyone else who are working, so I don't get nearly enough interactions with other people.
My main interactions are with my section through emails for submissions that I am assisting them with, with IT for various support, with one guy in another section who organize(s/d) recreational sports at lunch via work IMing, and with the four co-op girls whom I have lunch with nearly everyday. But ya, I discovered I am an extrovert and need people.
It's really different than my grocery store job. There I used to try and get everything done before I could do anything. Here I kinda try to do as many non-work-related activities as I possibly can to get more interactions / get away from my computer. These involve signing up for any and every special activity (including planting garlic for charity, and having a tea party for charity), and getting a refill of my water bottles twice or three times a day so that I can also walk to the further bathroom on my floor multiple times in a day. lol... I also tend to watch my phone for any and all texts or new emails I get as a change of pace.
So, I got a lot of work to do and it's pretty cool, like the material is actually interesting to a degree, but the method of work is kinda draining not working with other people.
I also got a job for next semester and it was really awesome because it was actually an answer to prayer. Like I started applying for co-op jobs for the next semester and was starting to get interviews. I expected like last time to have to do so many interviews... I really didn't want to do that. haha. I also wanted to use my time for other stuff, so I kinda just prayed that God would get me a job within a week. Like six hours later I had a job offer!! Crazy. And the job sounds really awesome. It'll kinda be similar. It's with Health Canada BGTD, but will be kinda similar in that I will be reviewing some documents, but different in that most of my job is actually a liaison between people. ie, I get to talk to and interact with people more often!! =D
So, ya. Excited. xP
Pray for my co-workers. I think a number of the ladies in my section are Christian, so that's cool. Pray for the other students. The seem to all have come from a Catholic background and I am having pretty cool IM conversations with one of them. xP
Family 1: Thanksgiving
So, this semester I may actually have visited my parents the most often I ever have since not living at home.
It was different being away all summer only calling once a week or every other week, so part of the reason I am home so much now is because of that, but a lot of it isn't that reason.
A large part is that my mom hasn't been doing so well until recently, which I will discuss in the second post, but I've also been around because my dad is also getting old and there's been a bunch of work to do around the house. So, I've actually been around nearly every week that I've been in Ottawa.
One of the first things I had to do when I got back from Mississauga was tell my parents my story. I didn't want to post it online and tell everyone if I wasn't going to tell them first, like with big decisions you tell your family and close friends first right? So I figured I had to and it seriously was the hardest thing ever. All day I felt like I was dying; walking closer and closer to my death. I tend to prepare for the worst, and the worst would be my mom being devastated and getting worse physically and giving up all hope in her future (lack of grandkids), but it was really good, pretty much their normal response to any big decisions I make "we support you and will always love you, but are worried about your safety". lol.
A couple weeks later was Thanksgiving and I was able to go over and make the stuffing as always. It was really good to see my mom actually eating dinner with us for a change and to be with my whole family. We never really ate family meals ever. lol. Also, my brother actually secretly moved out during the summer and kinda got a dog from his roommate, so his dog came over for thanksgiving. So it was my parents, brother, me, and two dogs.
I don't really talk to my brother much though, but we're cool. I think we understand each other better now.
You can always be praying for my family. My dad is gonna be retiring in a couple years or something. I really don't know what that's gonna look like. haha. He has had back problems and some heart issues.
It was different being away all summer only calling once a week or every other week, so part of the reason I am home so much now is because of that, but a lot of it isn't that reason.
A large part is that my mom hasn't been doing so well until recently, which I will discuss in the second post, but I've also been around because my dad is also getting old and there's been a bunch of work to do around the house. So, I've actually been around nearly every week that I've been in Ottawa.
One of the first things I had to do when I got back from Mississauga was tell my parents my story. I didn't want to post it online and tell everyone if I wasn't going to tell them first, like with big decisions you tell your family and close friends first right? So I figured I had to and it seriously was the hardest thing ever. All day I felt like I was dying; walking closer and closer to my death. I tend to prepare for the worst, and the worst would be my mom being devastated and getting worse physically and giving up all hope in her future (lack of grandkids), but it was really good, pretty much their normal response to any big decisions I make "we support you and will always love you, but are worried about your safety". lol.
A couple weeks later was Thanksgiving and I was able to go over and make the stuffing as always. It was really good to see my mom actually eating dinner with us for a change and to be with my whole family. We never really ate family meals ever. lol. Also, my brother actually secretly moved out during the summer and kinda got a dog from his roommate, so his dog came over for thanksgiving. So it was my parents, brother, me, and two dogs.
I don't really talk to my brother much though, but we're cool. I think we understand each other better now.
You can always be praying for my family. My dad is gonna be retiring in a couple years or something. I really don't know what that's gonna look like. haha. He has had back problems and some heart issues.
Family 2: My Mother
I've had a lot of people ask me recently about how my mom is doing. That means I haven't been actively telling people. Oops.
It's one of those things where this needs a lot of prayer and I have asked a bunch of people, so I should give updates kinda regularly.
Anyways, if you haven't been following the story so far here's the summary: my mom had an acute pressure build up in her eyes and lost the majority of her sight maybe a year and a bit ago..? Not too long after both of her parents passed away. And then a lot of stuff happened with her seeing and feeling things that weren't there and it was freaking her out and truly horrible for everyone. She was in and out of doctors' offices and was always prescribed different medications. Since fourth year university she had had migraines and since then has had a pile of medications to take that requires lists. Earlier this year she was taken to the hospital and it was determined that she had been overdosing on sinus clearing medication or something common like that, so they ended up looking at the list and dealing with that, so she went through withdrawal for a bit and was a lot better. Then she ended up losing balance and falling down a lot and getting weaker and weaker and losing her hair and being diagnosed as depressed. We got a puppy. This kinda made things worse. When you can't see an over excited, energetic, mischievous puppy that loves to run around your ankles and jump on you, that doesn't help you.
This is kinda where we were when I was about to leave for the summer. > .> I remember going to the hospital to see her just before leaving, maybe a week. It sucked. She wasn't herself, she wasn't able to do anything. She was being wheeled around pretty much everywhere and required a couple people to help her get around. She ended up getting so weak physically that she had to be taken to the hospital for an extended period of time (which she hates so much). She was taken home before I left and I just spent as much time with her as I could and prayed with her.
I left for co-op. She ended up in and out of the hospital. I called semi-frequently, but whenever she was back in the hospital I made sure to call more often.
She couldn't walk or stand on her own or anything. So, they did a pile of tests and did physio and all that stuff. When I got back she was home and had people coming to take care of her for a few hours each day and my dad doing a lot for her. She could kinda stand and walk with assistance again. She had her personality back. She grew stronger with the physio and the main thing that doctors found was a severely low protein uptake, so her diet was changed severely.A few weeks ago her protein levels were just below normal.
She could now walk, but her typical lack of direction and spatial sense made her extremely hopeless for the future. She is an independent person and really hates having to have people take care of her. She was really depressed with the idea that she'd never be able to maneuver around the house and would probably get lost and be unable to do anything until my dad got home.
I kinda gave her a pep talk. She is a very stubborn person and can typically will herself to do anything, but she was so stuck on this hopeless future and how she hadn't improved in weeks that she had become so depressed and said she'd never be able to walk around the house. I told her really that if she put her mind to it and just took little steps at a time and didn't give up she would be able to do it. We showed her how to use the walker-cane thing that she had pretty much refused to use and that was that.
That week I got a text from my dad saying that while he wasn't there she had become so hungry that she had walked from the living room back to her bedroom where she knew a protein bar was. > . < So from one day saying 'never' to a couple days later doing it. > .>
So, she's actually doing a lot better now and doesn't need assistance to go to the bathroom, or walk to and from her bedroom and now she is thinking about how she could be able to prepare meals and things while using one hand for the cane and one to feel what she is walking into. Planning for a future. Good.
She has been like overheating a lot recently though, getting prickly feelings and stuff. She got a hair cut and is now growing new hair. She also was interested in coming to the Christmas concert, which involves going out of the house, walking, and some stairs, which is a whole lot more than she would have ever attempted, so that's really awesome.
She was telling me that she really can't see much of anything now, sometimes door frames and walls, but otherwise it's mostly blackness, the last thing she saw, or like really bright whiteness and she is having some trouble sleeping.
You can keep praying for her and for opportunities to share the gospel with her.
It's one of those things where this needs a lot of prayer and I have asked a bunch of people, so I should give updates kinda regularly.
Anyways, if you haven't been following the story so far here's the summary: my mom had an acute pressure build up in her eyes and lost the majority of her sight maybe a year and a bit ago..? Not too long after both of her parents passed away. And then a lot of stuff happened with her seeing and feeling things that weren't there and it was freaking her out and truly horrible for everyone. She was in and out of doctors' offices and was always prescribed different medications. Since fourth year university she had had migraines and since then has had a pile of medications to take that requires lists. Earlier this year she was taken to the hospital and it was determined that she had been overdosing on sinus clearing medication or something common like that, so they ended up looking at the list and dealing with that, so she went through withdrawal for a bit and was a lot better. Then she ended up losing balance and falling down a lot and getting weaker and weaker and losing her hair and being diagnosed as depressed. We got a puppy. This kinda made things worse. When you can't see an over excited, energetic, mischievous puppy that loves to run around your ankles and jump on you, that doesn't help you.
This is kinda where we were when I was about to leave for the summer. > .> I remember going to the hospital to see her just before leaving, maybe a week. It sucked. She wasn't herself, she wasn't able to do anything. She was being wheeled around pretty much everywhere and required a couple people to help her get around. She ended up getting so weak physically that she had to be taken to the hospital for an extended period of time (which she hates so much). She was taken home before I left and I just spent as much time with her as I could and prayed with her.
I left for co-op. She ended up in and out of the hospital. I called semi-frequently, but whenever she was back in the hospital I made sure to call more often.
She couldn't walk or stand on her own or anything. So, they did a pile of tests and did physio and all that stuff. When I got back she was home and had people coming to take care of her for a few hours each day and my dad doing a lot for her. She could kinda stand and walk with assistance again. She had her personality back. She grew stronger with the physio and the main thing that doctors found was a severely low protein uptake, so her diet was changed severely.A few weeks ago her protein levels were just below normal.
She could now walk, but her typical lack of direction and spatial sense made her extremely hopeless for the future. She is an independent person and really hates having to have people take care of her. She was really depressed with the idea that she'd never be able to maneuver around the house and would probably get lost and be unable to do anything until my dad got home.
I kinda gave her a pep talk. She is a very stubborn person and can typically will herself to do anything, but she was so stuck on this hopeless future and how she hadn't improved in weeks that she had become so depressed and said she'd never be able to walk around the house. I told her really that if she put her mind to it and just took little steps at a time and didn't give up she would be able to do it. We showed her how to use the walker-cane thing that she had pretty much refused to use and that was that.
That week I got a text from my dad saying that while he wasn't there she had become so hungry that she had walked from the living room back to her bedroom where she knew a protein bar was. > . < So from one day saying 'never' to a couple days later doing it. > .>
So, she's actually doing a lot better now and doesn't need assistance to go to the bathroom, or walk to and from her bedroom and now she is thinking about how she could be able to prepare meals and things while using one hand for the cane and one to feel what she is walking into. Planning for a future. Good.
She has been like overheating a lot recently though, getting prickly feelings and stuff. She got a hair cut and is now growing new hair. She also was interested in coming to the Christmas concert, which involves going out of the house, walking, and some stairs, which is a whole lot more than she would have ever attempted, so that's really awesome.
She was telling me that she really can't see much of anything now, sometimes door frames and walls, but otherwise it's mostly blackness, the last thing she saw, or like really bright whiteness and she is having some trouble sleeping.
You can keep praying for her and for opportunities to share the gospel with her.
Saskatoon Part 5: Me and Him
"What did you learn about yourself?"
So, this summer was great and all, but it was also really difficult. First day of work I met the other student working in my lab. He seemed cool. I wanted to be his friend. I wanted to share Jesus with him. A problem quickly became apparent though. > .>
I got a pretty big crush on him.
I was still not talking about my struggles with same sex attraction, so, it was this difficult balance between wanting to know him better to share the gospel and then also being very tempted to pursue more flesh-centered goals with him.
This was the first time I was so far from my friends, family, and church. First time living on my own. And my first really big crush on a guy that was pretty obviously homosexual. But I couldn't do anything.
I figured the only way for me to get over my crush on him was to talk with him about his own interests, I guess. But then if I just ask him 'are you gay?' then I am making such a big deal about it, which in the face of the gospel it really isn't. If he isn't gay then that's cool, maybe I offend him and we have an awkward friendship..? If he is, what the heck do I do? I'd pretty much have to talk about it with him, which I really didn't want to at the time. Plus then if he was then maybe it'd be way more tempting. AND it would present another barrier for me to sharing the gospel if I didn't share my own testimony.
> . <
I ended up not doing anything productive. Instead of being direct and honest and humble, I hide in darkness. I compromised on sin in my life as a method of not completely doing what my flesh wanted, but also giving in. It sucked. After a certain point it needed to stop and it was rough to the end of August.
After a while it was evident that God wanted me to tell like all my friends in Saskatoon and I started telling a few people. Late July the guy I had a crush on came with me for lunch with YF and I shared with YF about my struggles over the idea of hypocrisy, as I had mentioned in another blog post.
So, about him, I didn't do anything about it until like the middle of August on his last day at work, when I finally just asked him if we could talk and told him I had had a crush on him and apologized if I had been treating him differently (like avoiding or other stupid things). He had a boyfriend back home and was completely fine with talking to me about his own story and experiences. He was pretty introverted, so I still don't know what sort of a friendship we have, but ya... it was good to just talk it out.
I had a tough summer. But God is still good. God is always good and I know even through all of this God taught me a bunch, especially about being open and honest with others about my life and what God has done in it. But there's also still a whole lot more to learn about how to rely on God in every situation and be bold in proclaiming the gospel.
So, this summer was great and all, but it was also really difficult. First day of work I met the other student working in my lab. He seemed cool. I wanted to be his friend. I wanted to share Jesus with him. A problem quickly became apparent though. > .>
I got a pretty big crush on him.
I was still not talking about my struggles with same sex attraction, so, it was this difficult balance between wanting to know him better to share the gospel and then also being very tempted to pursue more flesh-centered goals with him.
This was the first time I was so far from my friends, family, and church. First time living on my own. And my first really big crush on a guy that was pretty obviously homosexual. But I couldn't do anything.
I figured the only way for me to get over my crush on him was to talk with him about his own interests, I guess. But then if I just ask him 'are you gay?' then I am making such a big deal about it, which in the face of the gospel it really isn't. If he isn't gay then that's cool, maybe I offend him and we have an awkward friendship..? If he is, what the heck do I do? I'd pretty much have to talk about it with him, which I really didn't want to at the time. Plus then if he was then maybe it'd be way more tempting. AND it would present another barrier for me to sharing the gospel if I didn't share my own testimony.
> . <
I ended up not doing anything productive. Instead of being direct and honest and humble, I hide in darkness. I compromised on sin in my life as a method of not completely doing what my flesh wanted, but also giving in. It sucked. After a certain point it needed to stop and it was rough to the end of August.
After a while it was evident that God wanted me to tell like all my friends in Saskatoon and I started telling a few people. Late July the guy I had a crush on came with me for lunch with YF and I shared with YF about my struggles over the idea of hypocrisy, as I had mentioned in another blog post.
So, about him, I didn't do anything about it until like the middle of August on his last day at work, when I finally just asked him if we could talk and told him I had had a crush on him and apologized if I had been treating him differently (like avoiding or other stupid things). He had a boyfriend back home and was completely fine with talking to me about his own story and experiences. He was pretty introverted, so I still don't know what sort of a friendship we have, but ya... it was good to just talk it out.
I had a tough summer. But God is still good. God is always good and I know even through all of this God taught me a bunch, especially about being open and honest with others about my life and what God has done in it. But there's also still a whole lot more to learn about how to rely on God in every situation and be bold in proclaiming the gospel.
2.11.13
Sasaktoon Part 4: Univeristy of Saskatchewan
Life at UofS
It's kinda funny that although I worked on campus at the University of Saskatchewan (UofS) I barely met any students from UofS... haha. I think I met like 10 by being involved in P2C, but other than that I met like 2 who worked with me and then like no one else... lol.
The campus was really nice and people would regularly have wedding photos taken there. lol.
I got involved in P2C and we read a book over the course of the summer. It was called Fireseeds of Spiritual Awakening and looked at the great revivals of the last couple centuries as well as how it happened and how we can play a part in bringing about the next great revival
But ya, other than that I didn't really do much on campus. haha.
Went to the gym with FB like 4 times a week, work everyday, not much else. lol
You can pray for the regular P2C group and the students involved as they attempt to seek God's will and reach out to students on campus with the gospel.You can also pray for the International Students outreach ministry of P2C as they reach out to the very large international student population on campus. Pray for students to be open to the gospel message.
Saskatoon Part 3: Church Hopping
Saskatoon Churches:
This summer was my first time actually away from my home church, OCBC. So, at firs I was excited about 'church hopping' since I always meet the new first years and it sounds like fun when they do it, but really it sucks. haha. With a million churches to check out and after a month of hopping from one building to another meeting some people and not meeting so many others I ended up attending three churches more than once: Saskatoon Chinese Alliance Church (SCAC); The Connection at Emmanuel Baptist Church (EBC); and Saskatoon Chinese Christian Church (SCCC).
SCAC felt like home, a
church that was a family with kids running around and grandparents
lovingly watching. It was trilingual services, which was awesome and I learned a bunch of Chinese. xP. I didn't even actually plan to attend their services while I was in Saskatoon, but after I met YF and he asked to go to a church with me I googled Chinese churches and found it. I miss everyone from SCAC and I don't know if/when I'll be back. A large number of the congregation are teenagers still seeking and aren't Christian yet. Pray that God would continue to speak through Pastor
WK and that more of the regular attendees would accept Christ as
their saviour.
The Connection was an evening service at EBC. I ended up here both because a friend went to the morning service and because I wanted to seek out as many congregations outside of Sunday morning as possible, so that I could try as many as possible. xP. It was also actually really close to my house. I actually had a bit of a problem with this congregation. I was trying to see how welcoming people were and so I didn't really introduce myself to people while I was church hopping. The first time I was at EBC no one approached me until the very last second like 15 minutes after service ended. > .> I kinda hated that. The church should be welcoming, and I got pretty angry for a while. But God really spoke to me through that time and I got to spend time with the new pastor and he explained about the history of the congregation and stuff. Pastor CL is doing a series on loving others over this semester. Pray this church grows in showing Christ to others.
SCCC is an amazing church. Although only in Mandarin,
this church has members of all ages who seek to glorify God in their
lives. I actually went there the first week, but left because it was all in Mandarin. haha. Little did I know PG (my coworker) went there, and in August after their main pastor left for BC they were having an English pastor give some messages. I got to go twice and see like 11(?) people get baptized! Later Holy Spirit led me to a Tim Hortons one night and I got to talk to a couple
guys from SCCC the last day before I left. haha I got to encourage them to trust in God for
more and seek after Him because He is always faithful. It was sweet. XP.
Pray for this church's continuing ministry to the international
students and local Chinese community as well as the search for a new pastor.
This summer was my first time actually away from my home church, OCBC. So, at firs I was excited about 'church hopping' since I always meet the new first years and it sounds like fun when they do it, but really it sucks. haha. With a million churches to check out and after a month of hopping from one building to another meeting some people and not meeting so many others I ended up attending three churches more than once: Saskatoon Chinese Alliance Church (SCAC); The Connection at Emmanuel Baptist Church (EBC); and Saskatoon Chinese Christian Church (SCCC).
 |
| Never got a really good picture of SCAC. >.> |
 |
| EBC after service |
The Connection was an evening service at EBC. I ended up here both because a friend went to the morning service and because I wanted to seek out as many congregations outside of Sunday morning as possible, so that I could try as many as possible. xP. It was also actually really close to my house. I actually had a bit of a problem with this congregation. I was trying to see how welcoming people were and so I didn't really introduce myself to people while I was church hopping. The first time I was at EBC no one approached me until the very last second like 15 minutes after service ended. > .> I kinda hated that. The church should be welcoming, and I got pretty angry for a while. But God really spoke to me through that time and I got to spend time with the new pastor and he explained about the history of the congregation and stuff. Pastor CL is doing a series on loving others over this semester. Pray this church grows in showing Christ to others.
 |
| SCCC's building was shared with another church |
Saskatoon Part 2: YF and my Friends
 |
| FB, YF, me, P(?), and Y(?) after dinner at the Asia Buffet. xP |
I think by far the best part of the summer was being able to build real friendships with other students, especially YF and FB. There are no secrets between me and them and we have had so many good conversations.
FB is a Bichem major from UVic. He is the kind of guy who is proud in his accomplishments and thinks he knows everything. He has seen the bad side of Christians (judgemental and hateful, close-minded and boring) and so he lives as he thinks he should believing religion was made to control people. He strongly advocates making the most of the time you have and living as you want to. I have tried to be real and answer any question he has while still following Christ in decision making and problem solving.
I've mentioned YF a lot before. He is an international student from China doing his masters degree in Biochem at UofS. He is open to learning more about God and taking it at his own pace, really trying to figure out what is true. I have shared the hope I have and the gospel many times, during the last week we saw Despicable Me 2 and then had a long talk in McDs where I had the chance to share a booklet about Chinese characters describing Bible stories. He's a really awesome guy and has invited multiple people to come to church with him. He has recently been busy with school and hasn't been to church much, but I pray he continues to grow in his faith and discovers a personal relationship with God.
I have not kept these two apart. Lol. The risk that FB dissuade YF from learning more about God was there, but YF isn't easily pursuaded. XP. Often we would all meet for lunch and it would turn into a bit of dark side versus light side; FB's suggestions versus mine. We never argued, and I never pushed YF to do anything he didn't want to. After a conversation about partying YF actually said "Don't drag me to the dark side, Thank you." Lol.
YF is like a smart younger brother while FB is often like a kid in a bearded man's body. God loves both of them and has plans for them. Pray I'd be able to keep in contact and that God would reveal Himself to them.
Saskatoon: Part 1 (PG and my job with NRC)
This summer was a complete blessing from God to be in a lab experiencing a taste of that work and also being able to have a chance at living as light in a workplace.
In my lab were an overly busy director, a friendly supervisor, and a jocular field technician. Other than those three, two who I rarely saw, the other five were four Chinese post docs and another student.
Mainly I got to know one guy, PG, over the course of weeks. We'd sometimes talk a bit after work in our office and we were both working on the same project. I found out he had a wife and two kids and started praying for them specifically. Later I found out he has gone to the Chinese Christian Church regularly for years, but doesn't have a close relationship with God and rarely reads the Bible. He is worried about the future and his kids. His wife has a home daycare and helps with children Sunday school. They invited me for dinner the last week I was in Saskatoon. I love this family and pray God would bless them and work in their lives, opening PG's eyes to all He is, helping him to trust for His provision in everything, and continuing to use his wife as the means by which faith may grow in this family.
As for my actual job, well, I could probably talk for a while about it. But basically it was a project where we were trying to find out what exactly the resistance genes against leaf rust in wheat actually do. Like the final disease state is well documented and visible, but at the molecular or microscopic level, what is happening??? So I was on the microscope a lot. > . < I really enjoyed my co-op term report / NRC presentation which I needed to do a bunch of research on the topic to prepare for. xP
I am not opposed to working in a lab again, but the open-endedness of my specific tasks kinda bugged me. I like having things that are completable.
A Blog Buffet
Yo,
so, I haven't blogged in a while. This means I also haven't really updated the majority of my friends and everyone who I don't see regularly.
So, instead of overloading them, I will be overloading you!
Instead of writing a 20 page email, I am going to provide a short email with a number of pictures and links to blog posts, so, that means you guys will get a lot today and tomorrow. xP
I hope to be blogging again regularly once this has been done.
It's one of those "I haven't in so long that doing so would be a pile of work to catch people up, so I've procrastinated it, making it worse" situations.
So, enjoy the many many many blog posts.
D.Fa
so, I haven't blogged in a while. This means I also haven't really updated the majority of my friends and everyone who I don't see regularly.
So, instead of overloading them, I will be overloading you!
Instead of writing a 20 page email, I am going to provide a short email with a number of pictures and links to blog posts, so, that means you guys will get a lot today and tomorrow. xP
I hope to be blogging again regularly once this has been done.
It's one of those "I haven't in so long that doing so would be a pile of work to catch people up, so I've procrastinated it, making it worse" situations.
So, enjoy the many many many blog posts.
D.Fa
1.11.13
Summit 2014 Testimony
"Hey, my name is Dylan [and I am in my fourth year studying Biochemistry at Carleton University] and during my time at University God has really changed me. When I had arrived I had never shared my faith. I used to be scared of evangelism, scared of awkward situations, scared of people’s reactions, and scared of leaving my comfort zone. Over the last few years I have been privileged to see God work in the lives of some of my friends. And I say it like that because really, it was God who was working, not me.
What if I said you could eat lunch, reply to a text, use a booklet about the gospel and see someone come to know Christ as their Saviour? I would think no way that’s too easy!
But that’s pretty much all I did this last year.
The story starts at church on a Saturday morning. I had just had worship practice and had a meeting in a couple hours. Our church was having a luncheon for international students. I hadn’t planned on going, but the opportunity presented itself so I wanted to make the most of it. I’d been on a couple short term mission trips and was really impacted by God’s heart for the lost. I wanted to play an active role in God’s work and so I just prayed for tge chance to make a good friend that day. Normally I am a bit reserved when I meet people, but for the gospel I was willing to do whatever. Lol.
I quickly met a guy who was on exchange from China. We got to talk and make fools of ourselves during ice breaker games. Lol. At the end of the lunch there was a short talk about how to handle stress and then a guy shared his testimony in Mandarin, so I just prayed that God would use it to impact my friend and the others in the crowd since I didn't really understand. I don’t know much Mandarin, but for sure I heard ai (God’s love), and zui (our sin), so I was sure the gospel had been presented. I had to go to my meeting, but I made sure to grab his cell number and contact info so we could stay in touch. Hopefully God would present another opportunity.
Over the next week I had text him a few times to see what was up, but he never really responded. One day I was at work and I got a text from him asking what was happening at church this weekend. Here was another opportunity and it was obvious he was interested since he asked about church rather than just replying to one of my texts. Haha. So, I told him about church service, Sunday school, etc. But he didn't really know what those were so I thought we should meet up, I asked if he was free on Friday and we could talk about why people go to church and he said he was free.
So, this was awesome. xP. I’m pretty sure he heard the gospel the other day, he was probably very open to hear more of the gospel, and was now scheduled to meet up. I was praying I would be able to share the gospel again and answer any questions. Day of I brought a bilingual gospel tract and a friend. We started talking just about Canada and school and stuff. But I really wanted to go deeper. I was going to ask what that guy's testimony was about, what he had talked about and also explain why people go to church, in other words, the gospel, how we go to church because of what He has done for us already through sending His only Son to the cross.
Things went really smoothly and we got to the booklet. He was really interested always asking questions that would be answered on the next page. xP. We got to the fourth point about having to make a personal decision: how can I do that? He asked. By prayer: how can I pray? He asked. And at the end after making sure he knew what everything in the prayer meant and assuring him he could take time and think about it, he still wanted to accept. XP So we prayed with him. After he couldn’t describe what he was feeling, but just that “I know something amazing has happened. Wow”
I really didn't do that much. I just asked God to work, look for opportunities and then watch Him work and use what He had already taught me.
Col 4:2-6
So I encourage you to pray for these chances with friends, to prepare yourself so you can explain the good news, and watch for the opportunities God will provide. Make the most of every opportunity."
What if I said you could eat lunch, reply to a text, use a booklet about the gospel and see someone come to know Christ as their Saviour? I would think no way that’s too easy!
But that’s pretty much all I did this last year.
The story starts at church on a Saturday morning. I had just had worship practice and had a meeting in a couple hours. Our church was having a luncheon for international students. I hadn’t planned on going, but the opportunity presented itself so I wanted to make the most of it. I’d been on a couple short term mission trips and was really impacted by God’s heart for the lost. I wanted to play an active role in God’s work and so I just prayed for tge chance to make a good friend that day. Normally I am a bit reserved when I meet people, but for the gospel I was willing to do whatever. Lol.
I quickly met a guy who was on exchange from China. We got to talk and make fools of ourselves during ice breaker games. Lol. At the end of the lunch there was a short talk about how to handle stress and then a guy shared his testimony in Mandarin, so I just prayed that God would use it to impact my friend and the others in the crowd since I didn't really understand. I don’t know much Mandarin, but for sure I heard ai (God’s love), and zui (our sin), so I was sure the gospel had been presented. I had to go to my meeting, but I made sure to grab his cell number and contact info so we could stay in touch. Hopefully God would present another opportunity.
Over the next week I had text him a few times to see what was up, but he never really responded. One day I was at work and I got a text from him asking what was happening at church this weekend. Here was another opportunity and it was obvious he was interested since he asked about church rather than just replying to one of my texts. Haha. So, I told him about church service, Sunday school, etc. But he didn't really know what those were so I thought we should meet up, I asked if he was free on Friday and we could talk about why people go to church and he said he was free.
So, this was awesome. xP. I’m pretty sure he heard the gospel the other day, he was probably very open to hear more of the gospel, and was now scheduled to meet up. I was praying I would be able to share the gospel again and answer any questions. Day of I brought a bilingual gospel tract and a friend. We started talking just about Canada and school and stuff. But I really wanted to go deeper. I was going to ask what that guy's testimony was about, what he had talked about and also explain why people go to church, in other words, the gospel, how we go to church because of what He has done for us already through sending His only Son to the cross.
Things went really smoothly and we got to the booklet. He was really interested always asking questions that would be answered on the next page. xP. We got to the fourth point about having to make a personal decision: how can I do that? He asked. By prayer: how can I pray? He asked. And at the end after making sure he knew what everything in the prayer meant and assuring him he could take time and think about it, he still wanted to accept. XP So we prayed with him. After he couldn’t describe what he was feeling, but just that “I know something amazing has happened. Wow”
I really didn't do that much. I just asked God to work, look for opportunities and then watch Him work and use what He had already taught me.
Col 4:2-6
So I encourage you to pray for these chances with friends, to prepare yourself so you can explain the good news, and watch for the opportunities God will provide. Make the most of every opportunity."
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