11.5.10

Don't Get Past It, Get Through It.

So, ya.

The atmosphere at school was different, but still dpressing. There was no mass of people crying at his locker. There were no announcements. There was this kind of depressing feeling around, but people were laughing now. There were still some people crying, but I think everyone went to class.

One of the things I keep thinking is how people who were closer to him must feel. I barely knew him in comparison to his closer friends. I knew him by name and as an aquaintance for a few years, but I never had a class with him, I never went over to his house, I never randomly spent an afternoon with him. I went to Stratford with him, I was in the musical with him, I saw him in the halls, but I only knew the surface of him. He was more then just a smile, more then just a swing dancer, more then just a black belt, more then just another "David". I wish I had spent more time with him while I could, we all do, but we can't cry forever.

At the same time we can't just move on by forgetting him, by repressing the memories we do have. We can't get past this by pushing it away, by distracting ourselves from reality, we can't keep this all inside. We have to get through this time of sadness by looking back on the good times, letting out our tears and helping each other through it. We have to smile, like David did.

I didn't cry today. I almost did at lunch when GM was sharing a story she had written for the swing kids' giant card. I really hate that my long term memory sucks and that I don't remember details very well. David was awesome, but I have so few memories of him... I cried when I was praying about it.

Today was purple day, for David. Everyone wore purple. Just walking through the halls you could see who was affected by David's life. Even just seeing him everyday on the bus, so many people were affected by his life.

David was only 17. He died in a car accident on the way to watch Iron Man with a couple friends. David was so young. Life is so fragile.

I actually didn't eat until 6 pm today. I woke up with like 15 minutes until school and missed breakfast. I didn't eat yesterday at work. I didn't eat lunch. I didn't feel hungry most of the time.

I feel really bad for VB. She was his swing dance partner. They were good friends. Right now she's in Arizona with her family. Her sister is there too, and she also knew David, but it's not the same as being here with everyone supporting each other. She's not getting back for about a week or something...

We got nominated for a bunch of Cappies. Including best musical, and best song (Shy). He diffinately had a part in making the show awesome. He moved chairs, he did lifts, he did terrible ballet with me, he always smiled...

David will not be forgotten. He will be in all our hearts forever, but we will get through this sadness and smile.

D.Fa

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