Why does it seem that I tend to confess everything to you?
I mean a couple hours ago was, like, the scariest thing that has ever happened and I'm only half way done.
You see, I am in Carp right now at a Stag and Doe. The problem there is how I got here.
My friend is a DJ. She has a gig (the Stag and Doe) and needed a drive.
I agreed to help her (she said she would pay me, I really need the money...) and then found out where it was.
Carp is like 30 minutes away, if you take the highway.
My dad told me not to take the highway until I got lessons. I haven't been driving onne, but thought I'd be fine. I've seen people drive on them a million times, I've driven that fast, I looked online and it said I was legally allowed to, my friend needed me (she said I was her last chance (taxis won't take her equipment)).
Additionally, after the Stafield concert I kinda bumped the muffler on my car and it has been making noises. I haven't told my dad about it to get it fixed because then I'd be unable to drive my friend.
Another thing: tomorrow I am leading both grade 7/8 sunday school and worship. This is problematic because her gig ends at 1. I won't be home until around 2am.
So with all this conflict, basically, lying to my dad, going against his clearly set out and for my own good rule, putting money before God, driving a car that could fall apart any second, driving on a highway for the first time and late at night, all this to me boiled down into: there's a chance I could die AND I'm clearly willingly sinning right now.
Where does that leave me? [Update: Read this. haha]
The Bible says God forgives all sin, but there is a difference. He doesn't just forgive everything for no reason. It is through turning from our sin that we can live the new life again. It isn't "Jesus forgives me, so I can do ____".
I couldn't tell her no. So, I was really freaking scared. I mean, if I didn't make it back, I would have died walking in sin. So I'm praying really hard right now. I made it here safely, but there's still the drive back at 1:30...
Nearly nothing good would have come from the Stag and Doe not having a DJ...
I'm still not happy about my decision.
Tomorrow I am returning the car for at least a week and confessing everything to my dad.
I also think I won't be taking any of the money for myself. I haven't decided what it would go to, but it won't be me. My dad is giving me a bit extra in my food allowance this week for helping assemble and install the new front door, so really, I'm okay.
I don't want to disobey my dad or my heavenly Father. Seriously, this feeling is tearing me apart. I hate it.
D.Fa
[written yesterday around 8pm]
I mean a couple hours ago was, like, the scariest thing that has ever happened and I'm only half way done.
You see, I am in Carp right now at a Stag and Doe. The problem there is how I got here.
My friend is a DJ. She has a gig (the Stag and Doe) and needed a drive.
I agreed to help her (she said she would pay me, I really need the money...) and then found out where it was.
Carp is like 30 minutes away, if you take the highway.
My dad told me not to take the highway until I got lessons. I haven't been driving onne, but thought I'd be fine. I've seen people drive on them a million times, I've driven that fast, I looked online and it said I was legally allowed to, my friend needed me (she said I was her last chance (taxis won't take her equipment)).
Additionally, after the Stafield concert I kinda bumped the muffler on my car and it has been making noises. I haven't told my dad about it to get it fixed because then I'd be unable to drive my friend.
Another thing: tomorrow I am leading both grade 7/8 sunday school and worship. This is problematic because her gig ends at 1. I won't be home until around 2am.
So with all this conflict, basically, lying to my dad, going against his clearly set out and for my own good rule, putting money before God, driving a car that could fall apart any second, driving on a highway for the first time and late at night, all this to me boiled down into: there's a chance I could die AND I'm clearly willingly sinning right now.
Where does that leave me? [Update: Read this. haha]
The Bible says God forgives all sin, but there is a difference. He doesn't just forgive everything for no reason. It is through turning from our sin that we can live the new life again. It isn't "Jesus forgives me, so I can do ____".
I couldn't tell her no. So, I was really freaking scared. I mean, if I didn't make it back, I would have died walking in sin. So I'm praying really hard right now. I made it here safely, but there's still the drive back at 1:30...
Nearly nothing good would have come from the Stag and Doe not having a DJ...
I'm still not happy about my decision.
Tomorrow I am returning the car for at least a week and confessing everything to my dad.
I also think I won't be taking any of the money for myself. I haven't decided what it would go to, but it won't be me. My dad is giving me a bit extra in my food allowance this week for helping assemble and install the new front door, so really, I'm okay.
I don't want to disobey my dad or my heavenly Father. Seriously, this feeling is tearing me apart. I hate it.
D.Fa
[written yesterday around 8pm]
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