Sin.

Yo. So, I guess this week I have really been confronted with sin. Not only sin in my life, but sin through and through. It's disgusting. I've had this feeling I can't describe which made me sad, angry, hateful, depressed, and a lot of other things.

Even though I have said it over and again a million times 'for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God' I guess it really got me this week. It became so much more real than it had ever been. I know the depths of my sin (even though I don't see all of it) and I can admit beyond a doubt that I have fallen far.

There were three main points that sin really made itself clear to me.

At one point a friend of mine confessed a sin from the past.

At one point I was having a conversation about suffering and I said, kinda out of my own ideas, that people are born good, but that they are born into a world that is already bad and so become bad. Soon afterward my friend explained the gospel (basically) and how people are born sinful and in need of a savior and with this ability to sin and seek sin from the beginning (very true).

At one point I was in a bathroom at school and noticed an off-white liquid spattered on the sink. (gross)

Sin is so overwhelming sometimes. It eats us up. It desires to devour us and add distance between us and the only one who can save us. I guess I am a bit more cynical about the world right now. I have a friend that I actually thought was free from the struggle associated with porn and self-gratification. I guess I have come to see everyone as more sinful than I thought they were. I asked him if he ever struggled with it. He said yes.

The best guess I have been able to make about what I was feeling was a part of what God feels when we sin and turn from Him. Hatred and absolute righteous anger at the sin. Depression and sadness in their decision to do so even when there is a way out and He has offered to help. And at the same time, a love for the people involved. Even n sin He still loves us and desires to see us turn back to Him. He promises out of His faithfulness and justness to forgive our sins through Jesus' death on the cross when we turn to Him and confess.

We can do this on a much more on going basis too, not only after falling to be picked back up, but as we are going we can ask for the help of the Holy Spirit in us to keep us on the narrow path leading to life. Although the flesh is weak, the Spirit is more than willing to help.

Anyways, I am still not through feeling weird about all this stuff, and on top of those things I have had a deep wound of sin in my life reopened, but I know He has forgiven. I know He loves. I know He is always with us. I know He is good. I know through suffering we still have hope. I know that our lives o nearth is temporary and eternity is forever. I know. I know. I know.

Children's Sunday school is awesome by the way. So simple, but so true. Nothing but the blood of Jesus can cleanse me and make me whole again. Also, we should not just be readers of the Word, but doers also so that we may bear good fruit.

D.Fa

PS. I could never be a Catholic priest who has to listen to confessions day in and day out. I would just stop caring at some point, having seen the same people coming back week after week, hearing the worst sins, having no strength of my own to help these people, but just point them to Christ, whatever their decision may be.

PPS. Belgium, hey.