It's really weird.
Once again the pressure of last second lab reports has taken all
priority. However, the worst is over. XP. So now I just need to get back
into it. I really miss RW and MM and E(?) and, basically everyone. Lol.
Waking up at 8:30 going to the complimentary breakfast and getting a
pile of scrambled eggs with ketchup (i really like ketchup right now
lol.)
Ummm. I really want to be making short films right now too. No more
biochem, let's be a cinematographer! =D (I'm not going to quit. Lol)
Ya. I need to get on some things. Write some emails. Write a letter. Go to a travel clinic. Do a genetics tutorial. Etc.
Anyways, gotta make it good. XP
Ttyl
D.Fa
29.2.12
26.2.12
Day 6: The Shoot / Day 7: Editors only / Day 8: The Finale
Hey guys!
Long time no talk again, eh? lol. I went to bed at like 1:30 and woke up at like 6:30 the day of the shoot. The whole day was surreal. After all the preproduction work I was just hovering around not really knowing what to do while things were happening. I don't think I was on set for half of the shooting. >.> So, really a short film was being shot and I didn't even know. It was really cool. Our main actress ended up getting a job after an interview that morning and so she had to go to work that afternoon and she didn't have a phone, so we ended up giving up on her and had CB fill in for her, which was great because of her facial expressions / accent / attitude. lol. Umm. Our main extra called me the day of, responding to the kijiji ad. We were in Lakeside Bible Church and they were really accommodating (they even acted as a hiring agency at one point. lol). Anyways, the day just flew by. We debreifed at the hotel and then I passed out at 10 on my bed.
8:30 the next morning I woke up thinking I had to be in 'class' for 9. Nope. Not much for us to do while the editors were going. We ended up doing some question writing for a couple short films. There was way too many delicious sugary things in the hotel this week. Umm. I actually ended up helping the other team more than my team simply because I was allowed in the room. I also ended up playing a minecraft demo on RW(RM's friend from EAP a couple years ago)'s ipad.
Sleep at like 1:30. Woke up at like 9:30. I really dislike not having things to do. >.< Apparently basically all professional editing is done on Macs. We had a presentation about how we could use what we have learned. Whether in P2C's Creative Communications team (CC) or with GSFN or wherever. Not only just short films, but any talents God has given you. The thing about film is that it transcends language barriers and goes across borders to share where missionaries can't go. It is how people interact and share stories. It is adaptable and culturally flexible. Train them and they will make the movies. Finally, we had an early screening after only a day and a half of editing. Three main characters were there and (although there were a couple editing issues that will be fixed with a bit more time) the movies are awesome! I really like both of them. Legit. Seriously.
I got a drive from CW back to his mom's house for the night. I love his dogs. xP. Pepper and Boss. So energetic. I read an article about Jeremy Lin. I was both put to bed and woken up by Pepper. I had cereal. And we left.
Anyways, I got back to Ottawa a bit after 1. It's still winter here apparently. Time to work all day and night on lab reports. >.<
Ttyl.
D.Fa
PS. I will keep you updated about when those videos will be actually released. RF from my team is in school for music and composes her own, so she is gonna play around with the audio and make it awesome. xP
PPS. Tunisia!
Long time no talk again, eh? lol. I went to bed at like 1:30 and woke up at like 6:30 the day of the shoot. The whole day was surreal. After all the preproduction work I was just hovering around not really knowing what to do while things were happening. I don't think I was on set for half of the shooting. >.> So, really a short film was being shot and I didn't even know. It was really cool. Our main actress ended up getting a job after an interview that morning and so she had to go to work that afternoon and she didn't have a phone, so we ended up giving up on her and had CB fill in for her, which was great because of her facial expressions / accent / attitude. lol. Umm. Our main extra called me the day of, responding to the kijiji ad. We were in Lakeside Bible Church and they were really accommodating (they even acted as a hiring agency at one point. lol). Anyways, the day just flew by. We debreifed at the hotel and then I passed out at 10 on my bed.
8:30 the next morning I woke up thinking I had to be in 'class' for 9. Nope. Not much for us to do while the editors were going. We ended up doing some question writing for a couple short films. There was way too many delicious sugary things in the hotel this week. Umm. I actually ended up helping the other team more than my team simply because I was allowed in the room. I also ended up playing a minecraft demo on RW(RM's friend from EAP a couple years ago)'s ipad.
Sleep at like 1:30. Woke up at like 9:30. I really dislike not having things to do. >.< Apparently basically all professional editing is done on Macs. We had a presentation about how we could use what we have learned. Whether in P2C's Creative Communications team (CC) or with GSFN or wherever. Not only just short films, but any talents God has given you. The thing about film is that it transcends language barriers and goes across borders to share where missionaries can't go. It is how people interact and share stories. It is adaptable and culturally flexible. Train them and they will make the movies. Finally, we had an early screening after only a day and a half of editing. Three main characters were there and (although there were a couple editing issues that will be fixed with a bit more time) the movies are awesome! I really like both of them. Legit. Seriously.
I got a drive from CW back to his mom's house for the night. I love his dogs. xP. Pepper and Boss. So energetic. I read an article about Jeremy Lin. I was both put to bed and woken up by Pepper. I had cereal. And we left.
Anyways, I got back to Ottawa a bit after 1. It's still winter here apparently. Time to work all day and night on lab reports. >.<
Ttyl.
D.Fa
PS. I will keep you updated about when those videos will be actually released. RF from my team is in school for music and composes her own, so she is gonna play around with the audio and make it awesome. xP
PPS. Tunisia!
23.2.12
Day 5 PreProd
How can I say this nicely?
I kinda wish all the talent was from Guelph. That would make things easier.
Also, I wish that we were just shooting the film in our hotel like the other group. They have an awesome set setup and ready to go. It's really simple too. I look forward to it.
Ours has a lot of potential too.
Our in cam edit short films were good too and a lot of fun. We just planned and shot it with no editing post production. Really good. XP
This morning is the shoot. I'm so ready for this. Lol
Ttyl.
D.Fa
22.2.12
As a Producer
Hey guys!
Day 4. I don't even remember all that happened today. We played around with lights again. We talked about DSLR cameras a lot. But the majority of the time I was on my phone. I had posted a couple ads to find actors for the films and when I woke up I had 4 replies. Now I have over 20. We have 4 main roles in our script, with an additional 4 or 5 extra characters. The script is coming along and details are being worked on. I've really been on my phone all day doing calls, texts, emails, all sorts of stuff. Am I glad I have a smartphone now? Yes. Free wi-fi in the hotel? Yes. I've kinda found people that I think are great for the other film too, so they don't need to do quite as much work. I am finding out now, however, that a number of the actors are in the GTA not Guelph and that makes things a bit more difficult.
Anyways, I am really sick now... My throat hurts. I've got a mild headache and perhaps a hint of a fever..?
Anyways, ttyl.
D.Fa
Day 4. I don't even remember all that happened today. We played around with lights again. We talked about DSLR cameras a lot. But the majority of the time I was on my phone. I had posted a couple ads to find actors for the films and when I woke up I had 4 replies. Now I have over 20. We have 4 main roles in our script, with an additional 4 or 5 extra characters. The script is coming along and details are being worked on. I've really been on my phone all day doing calls, texts, emails, all sorts of stuff. Am I glad I have a smartphone now? Yes. Free wi-fi in the hotel? Yes. I've kinda found people that I think are great for the other film too, so they don't need to do quite as much work. I am finding out now, however, that a number of the actors are in the GTA not Guelph and that makes things a bit more difficult.
Anyways, I am really sick now... My throat hurts. I've got a mild headache and perhaps a hint of a fever..?
Anyways, ttyl.
D.Fa
20.2.12
Day 3: The more technical side
Hey!
So today we were divided into two groups, one group would be learning a lot more about making a character and a story while the other group would be learning the more technical side of cameras and lighting and etc. I was in the latter group and it was good, but a large portion was review for me, well review, but also combining these things I had learned. Like it wasn't just film, it wasn't just photography, it wasn't just optics. It was all three rolled in together with some other stuff too. The break periods weren't at the exact same times as usual, so we didn't have as much fun time during the day, but that's cool. xP.
Ya, I really would like to learn a bit more about writing a story and getting a feel for that. I think I will be able to get a copy of one of my friend's notes. Then I will be able to learn a bit. They seemed to have a really intense day of learning and actually doing it while we were a lot more theoretical, which makes sense since you can't prepare to shoot the film until it has been written and planned out a bit.
Anyways, it's really awesome getting to just take a week off and learn some new things that can be applied in a new way when I get back.
Yep!
Can't wait to ttyl about all this stuff. xP
D.Fa
So today we were divided into two groups, one group would be learning a lot more about making a character and a story while the other group would be learning the more technical side of cameras and lighting and etc. I was in the latter group and it was good, but a large portion was review for me, well review, but also combining these things I had learned. Like it wasn't just film, it wasn't just photography, it wasn't just optics. It was all three rolled in together with some other stuff too. The break periods weren't at the exact same times as usual, so we didn't have as much fun time during the day, but that's cool. xP.
Ya, I really would like to learn a bit more about writing a story and getting a feel for that. I think I will be able to get a copy of one of my friend's notes. Then I will be able to learn a bit. They seemed to have a really intense day of learning and actually doing it while we were a lot more theoretical, which makes sense since you can't prepare to shoot the film until it has been written and planned out a bit.
Anyways, it's really awesome getting to just take a week off and learn some new things that can be applied in a new way when I get back.
Yep!
Can't wait to ttyl about all this stuff. xP
D.Fa
Day 2: GSFPCanada
Hey guys!
Today was sweet. We got to sleep in a bit (in case anyone was jetlagged which includes SC, lol) and breakfast in the hotel was good and the day started well (eggs and ketchup. Mmmmm).
Today we learned a bunch about how to apply short films in ministry. People really relate with stories and it's so easy to have conversations. We watched a few and the discussions were awesome. We also got to learn about story writing and stuff. The 15 beats in most stories. We also learned about film roles.
We went for Thai dinner and when we came back we shot a film. It was lead by the professionals, but I got to be the male leading role. There were no speaking parts, but it was really fun. I hope the final product turns out well. xP. I will e sure to upload it.
Umm. I'm really tired. lol.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
Today was sweet. We got to sleep in a bit (in case anyone was jetlagged which includes SC, lol) and breakfast in the hotel was good and the day started well (eggs and ketchup. Mmmmm).
Today we learned a bunch about how to apply short films in ministry. People really relate with stories and it's so easy to have conversations. We watched a few and the discussions were awesome. We also got to learn about story writing and stuff. The 15 beats in most stories. We also learned about film roles.
We went for Thai dinner and when we came back we shot a film. It was lead by the professionals, but I got to be the male leading role. There were no speaking parts, but it was really fun. I hope the final product turns out well. xP. I will e sure to upload it.
Umm. I'm really tired. lol.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
18.2.12
SFP Day 1
Hey guys!
Day 1 complete.
After staying up really late after a night filled with perpetual fear of falling flat on my face and spraining my wrist, singing with the BeaverTailPoet, cutting a deck of fruit as if we were ninjas, drawing things online with my EA family, I awoke five hours later needing to print, pack and paruse the trailers of Southern Ontario with my roommate. I was pretty tired. It was all a blur. lol. Just kidding. Although at one point I kinda fell asleep and awoke suddenly to find a Bible that had just flown a few feet. It was very snowy. The weather was. I ate a cinnabon. I got here a bit early, so I just chilled out in the hotel room. It's soooo big and we each get a separate bed! I read a lot of passages today. I was pretty tired though. lol.
Anyways, there are not nearly as many people here as I was expecting. Only about 16 or 17 including staff members who want to learn too. RW (RM's EA teammate from two years ago) is here. She's pretty funny. I got to meet E(?) who knows SvdM.
Ya. Today was mainly getting to know each other a bit and eating food and getting a general overview of what is going to happen this week. For the majority of Monday and Tuesday we will be split into two groups, one focussing on script writing / directing, the other on cinematography / lighting. I want to do both, but I am leaning toward cinematography. Luckily RW also wants to do both and is leaning the other way. We will teach each other the other half that we are missing while doing the other half.
Yep. We just played a crazy game of dutch blitz. After many many rounds me and RW won with 202 points. A very close game because L(?) and C(?) nearly won with 199 points.
Anyways, I'm gonna get a good night of sleep. It's pretty funny that it is when I go away on trips that I am fed the best and sleep better. So I think I am very blessed that even when I will be very busy learning and getting training, I will be much more healthy. lol.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
Day 1 complete.
After staying up really late after a night filled with perpetual fear of falling flat on my face and spraining my wrist, singing with the BeaverTailPoet, cutting a deck of fruit as if we were ninjas, drawing things online with my EA family, I awoke five hours later needing to print, pack and paruse the trailers of Southern Ontario with my roommate. I was pretty tired. It was all a blur. lol. Just kidding. Although at one point I kinda fell asleep and awoke suddenly to find a Bible that had just flown a few feet. It was very snowy. The weather was. I ate a cinnabon. I got here a bit early, so I just chilled out in the hotel room. It's soooo big and we each get a separate bed! I read a lot of passages today. I was pretty tired though. lol.
Anyways, there are not nearly as many people here as I was expecting. Only about 16 or 17 including staff members who want to learn too. RW (RM's EA teammate from two years ago) is here. She's pretty funny. I got to meet E(?) who knows SvdM.
Ya. Today was mainly getting to know each other a bit and eating food and getting a general overview of what is going to happen this week. For the majority of Monday and Tuesday we will be split into two groups, one focussing on script writing / directing, the other on cinematography / lighting. I want to do both, but I am leaning toward cinematography. Luckily RW also wants to do both and is leaning the other way. We will teach each other the other half that we are missing while doing the other half.
Yep. We just played a crazy game of dutch blitz. After many many rounds me and RW won with 202 points. A very close game because L(?) and C(?) nearly won with 199 points.
Anyways, I'm gonna get a good night of sleep. It's pretty funny that it is when I go away on trips that I am fed the best and sleep better. So I think I am very blessed that even when I will be very busy learning and getting training, I will be much more healthy. lol.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
15.2.12
God is Calling, yo!
So, today was a great day. xP.
It started earlier than most, bu with a clear direction. I got to wake up early, read the Bible, walk to school (basically a time of prayer), get to school, read a book for a while, talk with my brother SM, go to class for a little while, eat chocolate, talk with LT / play a video game..., then I got to go sharing with RB!
Ya. lol. SM has the same problems I do. One of the worst of the problems we share is that we cannot wake up. lol. Not to be mean or anything. It was good getting to read the book a bit more. I've been reading The Master Plan of Evangelism by Robert Coleman. It goes through the gospels and looks at what Jesus' plan for getting the message across was. The first chapter was about selection. Like, Jesus, being God could have just done all these miracles and won over everyone in that generation. Done. But it wouldn't have been deep. It wouldn't have been at a heart level. Instead of doing that during the three years of His ministry He spent most of His time building up the twelve apostles. He knew it was more effective building into them and then letting them do the same. Of course He didn't ignore the crowds, sometimes He even spent so much time healing and speaking to the masses that His only leisure was a bite to eat, but He showed that you can also share much more in depth with a smaller group. Stuff like that. xP
Ya. I've been meeting up with SM recently. It's really good. I love my brother. xP. I had class at 10 though, and he wants me to go to class, so I have been (probably a wise choice).
Class was boring. lol. Microbio and Genetics overlap a lot because right now we started talking about bacterial genetics in Microbio and genetics is a lot simpler for bacteria, so that's like the majority of what we have been learning in Genetics.
Yep. I met up with LT for our usual discipling time. He ended up showing me his laptop and we played Spore for a little while. It's a game I have been interested in playing for a while. It looks like a very involved game, like, a lot of time would be used to actually play the game since it is so customizable and so open-ended. Ya. If I get that game I'd have to put limits and restrictions on how long I'd be allowed to play.
After that I met up with RB. He's cool. lol. He hasn't been sharing on campus too much, but has done some sharing back in Nigeria. It was good. We approached three people. The first guy was busy. Cool. The next guy was just finishing up his lunch before class. We had a very brief conversation about the Catholic school system and how so many people in them don't have a Catholic background and that they force you to do confession. o.0 I didn't know they forced you. Ya. We prayed for him after he left. We left the food court and went downstairs. We approached this guy from Pakistan. His frend came back and we had a really good conversation about Islam and Christianity. It was really cool. We asked a bit about Islam and then asked if they had any questions about Christianity and his friend had a lot of good questions. Like a lot. lol. We talked about a lot of things, the cross, Jesus, sin, judgment, what happens at the end, the Bible, forgiveness, the trinity, so much stuff. lol. It was really good. I asked if they wanted my number so that we could talk again or if they had anymore questions they could text or call or whatever and they wanted it. xP. I really hope we can talk again.
What are the chances that everytime I go sharing the person I am going with end up getting me to approach Muslim individuals? This is definitely God preparing me and assuring me of the decisions I have made. God is good, yo. He is calling out to everyone no matter where they come from, no matter what they have done, no matter where they are at spiritually. God loves and died for everyone.
It's awesome that we got to have such an open conversation with them. We prayed that God would continue to reveal truth to them. They were saying that a lot of Muslim students can't do their prayers at the times they are supposed to five times each day and that that is cause for judgment. So, it's like they need to make it up to God somehow. Christ has given us grace and freedom in His death and a hope in His resurrection. He who has ears, let him hear!
Peace, yo.
D.Fa
It started earlier than most, bu with a clear direction. I got to wake up early, read the Bible, walk to school (basically a time of prayer), get to school, read a book for a while, talk with my brother SM, go to class for a little while, eat chocolate, talk with LT / play a video game..., then I got to go sharing with RB!
Ya. lol. SM has the same problems I do. One of the worst of the problems we share is that we cannot wake up. lol. Not to be mean or anything. It was good getting to read the book a bit more. I've been reading The Master Plan of Evangelism by Robert Coleman. It goes through the gospels and looks at what Jesus' plan for getting the message across was. The first chapter was about selection. Like, Jesus, being God could have just done all these miracles and won over everyone in that generation. Done. But it wouldn't have been deep. It wouldn't have been at a heart level. Instead of doing that during the three years of His ministry He spent most of His time building up the twelve apostles. He knew it was more effective building into them and then letting them do the same. Of course He didn't ignore the crowds, sometimes He even spent so much time healing and speaking to the masses that His only leisure was a bite to eat, but He showed that you can also share much more in depth with a smaller group. Stuff like that. xP
Ya. I've been meeting up with SM recently. It's really good. I love my brother. xP. I had class at 10 though, and he wants me to go to class, so I have been (probably a wise choice).
Class was boring. lol. Microbio and Genetics overlap a lot because right now we started talking about bacterial genetics in Microbio and genetics is a lot simpler for bacteria, so that's like the majority of what we have been learning in Genetics.
Yep. I met up with LT for our usual discipling time. He ended up showing me his laptop and we played Spore for a little while. It's a game I have been interested in playing for a while. It looks like a very involved game, like, a lot of time would be used to actually play the game since it is so customizable and so open-ended. Ya. If I get that game I'd have to put limits and restrictions on how long I'd be allowed to play.
After that I met up with RB. He's cool. lol. He hasn't been sharing on campus too much, but has done some sharing back in Nigeria. It was good. We approached three people. The first guy was busy. Cool. The next guy was just finishing up his lunch before class. We had a very brief conversation about the Catholic school system and how so many people in them don't have a Catholic background and that they force you to do confession. o.0 I didn't know they forced you. Ya. We prayed for him after he left. We left the food court and went downstairs. We approached this guy from Pakistan. His frend came back and we had a really good conversation about Islam and Christianity. It was really cool. We asked a bit about Islam and then asked if they had any questions about Christianity and his friend had a lot of good questions. Like a lot. lol. We talked about a lot of things, the cross, Jesus, sin, judgment, what happens at the end, the Bible, forgiveness, the trinity, so much stuff. lol. It was really good. I asked if they wanted my number so that we could talk again or if they had anymore questions they could text or call or whatever and they wanted it. xP. I really hope we can talk again.
What are the chances that everytime I go sharing the person I am going with end up getting me to approach Muslim individuals? This is definitely God preparing me and assuring me of the decisions I have made. God is good, yo. He is calling out to everyone no matter where they come from, no matter what they have done, no matter where they are at spiritually. God loves and died for everyone.
It's awesome that we got to have such an open conversation with them. We prayed that God would continue to reveal truth to them. They were saying that a lot of Muslim students can't do their prayers at the times they are supposed to five times each day and that that is cause for judgment. So, it's like they need to make it up to God somehow. Christ has given us grace and freedom in His death and a hope in His resurrection. He who has ears, let him hear!
Peace, yo.
D.Fa
Money for Missions
So, I guess I just made a decision.
I have been thinking a while about whether or not to put an ad on my blog that can make money.
I decided to do so. However, I would like to make sure I am not using the money for myself. And so I am telling you and will continue to tell you about what happens to the money. I will never use the money I make from this blog or youtube or wherever you get money from 'views' or whatever for myself.
I have decided that this money will all go to some sort of missions work, and not my own at that. If someone approaches me asking for support I will pray about how much I will be giving personally and then also take whatever has accumulated from my blog and give it to them. Of course, I'm not just gonna give the money to anyone. Lol. I will make sure it is a good cause. And I will let you know. I won't even look at how much I have 'earned' until I give it away.
So. Ya. I'm not fully sure how it works, but if it gets out of hand or if it detracts in any way from my blog I will remove it.
Do you guys have any thoughts on this?
D.Fa
I have been thinking a while about whether or not to put an ad on my blog that can make money.
I decided to do so. However, I would like to make sure I am not using the money for myself. And so I am telling you and will continue to tell you about what happens to the money. I will never use the money I make from this blog or youtube or wherever you get money from 'views' or whatever for myself.
I have decided that this money will all go to some sort of missions work, and not my own at that. If someone approaches me asking for support I will pray about how much I will be giving personally and then also take whatever has accumulated from my blog and give it to them. Of course, I'm not just gonna give the money to anyone. Lol. I will make sure it is a good cause. And I will let you know. I won't even look at how much I have 'earned' until I give it away.
So. Ya. I'm not fully sure how it works, but if it gets out of hand or if it detracts in any way from my blog I will remove it.
Do you guys have any thoughts on this?
D.Fa
A Supportive Family
Yo! I'm so blessed to be here where I am now, who I am now, with those awesome people around me.
Even when going through tough times I know I am not alone. God promises to be with us always. We go through some times where we feel really bad, but it's really encouraging knowing you've got brothers and sisters praying for you and you know that their prayers are heard by our loving Father in heaven. When we come to Him with our hearts laid bare before Him we can place all our worries and fears on Him knowing He will answer.
The answer may not come immediately. The answer may not be what you thought it would be. You may not like the answer.
Just trusting in Him for the answer.
He's the creator of all and He still loves you even in your brokenness. He wants to make you whole again. 'Nothing but the blood of Jesus' can make me whole again. He died for our brokenness to make us whole, to give us freedom, to give us love.
Ya. My identity is not found in my past sins. My identity is not found in the superficial things the world loves. I am defined in Him. I am made in His image to be a unique expression of who He is. Not a perfect reflection, but a reflection that is being made to reflect more of His glory day by day.
So, ya. I feel a lot better.
Being convicted of sin is pretty difficult. I just want to complain and whine and ask God to do it differently, to go the way I want, but really, His plan is the best. It feels like He is not there when you are clutching onto sin with both hands. But I feel so much better now. xP.
Ya.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
PS. Support Raising for Short Film Project is all done. xP. Nearly time to go. When I get back it's time to start support raising again, although I'll already be a good 7 or 8% there. xP Thank God for His provision.
Even when going through tough times I know I am not alone. God promises to be with us always. We go through some times where we feel really bad, but it's really encouraging knowing you've got brothers and sisters praying for you and you know that their prayers are heard by our loving Father in heaven. When we come to Him with our hearts laid bare before Him we can place all our worries and fears on Him knowing He will answer.
The answer may not come immediately. The answer may not be what you thought it would be. You may not like the answer.
Just trusting in Him for the answer.
He's the creator of all and He still loves you even in your brokenness. He wants to make you whole again. 'Nothing but the blood of Jesus' can make me whole again. He died for our brokenness to make us whole, to give us freedom, to give us love.
Ya. My identity is not found in my past sins. My identity is not found in the superficial things the world loves. I am defined in Him. I am made in His image to be a unique expression of who He is. Not a perfect reflection, but a reflection that is being made to reflect more of His glory day by day.
So, ya. I feel a lot better.
Being convicted of sin is pretty difficult. I just want to complain and whine and ask God to do it differently, to go the way I want, but really, His plan is the best. It feels like He is not there when you are clutching onto sin with both hands. But I feel so much better now. xP.
Ya.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
PS. Support Raising for Short Film Project is all done. xP. Nearly time to go. When I get back it's time to start support raising again, although I'll already be a good 7 or 8% there. xP Thank God for His provision.
13.2.12
Sin.
Yo. So, I guess this week I have really been confronted with sin. Not only sin in my life, but sin through and through. It's disgusting. I've had this feeling I can't describe which made me sad, angry, hateful, depressed, and a lot of other things.
Even though I have said it over and again a million times 'for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God' I guess it really got me this week. It became so much more real than it had ever been. I know the depths of my sin (even though I don't see all of it) and I can admit beyond a doubt that I have fallen far.
There were three main points that sin really made itself clear to me.
At one point a friend of mine confessed a sin from the past.
At one point I was having a conversation about suffering and I said, kinda out of my own ideas, that people are born good, but that they are born into a world that is already bad and so become bad. Soon afterward my friend explained the gospel (basically) and how people are born sinful and in need of a savior and with this ability to sin and seek sin from the beginning (very true).
At one point I was in a bathroom at school and noticed an off-white liquid spattered on the sink. (gross)
Sin is so overwhelming sometimes. It eats us up. It desires to devour us and add distance between us and the only one who can save us. I guess I am a bit more cynical about the world right now. I have a friend that I actually thought was free from the struggle associated with porn and self-gratification. I guess I have come to see everyone as more sinful than I thought they were. I asked him if he ever struggled with it. He said yes.
The best guess I have been able to make about what I was feeling was a part of what God feels when we sin and turn from Him. Hatred and absolute righteous anger at the sin. Depression and sadness in their decision to do so even when there is a way out and He has offered to help. And at the same time, a love for the people involved. Even n sin He still loves us and desires to see us turn back to Him. He promises out of His faithfulness and justness to forgive our sins through Jesus' death on the cross when we turn to Him and confess.
We can do this on a much more on going basis too, not only after falling to be picked back up, but as we are going we can ask for the help of the Holy Spirit in us to keep us on the narrow path leading to life. Although the flesh is weak, the Spirit is more than willing to help.
Anyways, I am still not through feeling weird about all this stuff, and on top of those things I have had a deep wound of sin in my life reopened, but I know He has forgiven. I know He loves. I know He is always with us. I know He is good. I know through suffering we still have hope. I know that our lives o nearth is temporary and eternity is forever. I know. I know. I know.
Children's Sunday school is awesome by the way. So simple, but so true. Nothing but the blood of Jesus can cleanse me and make me whole again. Also, we should not just be readers of the Word, but doers also so that we may bear good fruit.
D.Fa
PS. I could never be a Catholic priest who has to listen to confessions day in and day out. I would just stop caring at some point, having seen the same people coming back week after week, hearing the worst sins, having no strength of my own to help these people, but just point them to Christ, whatever their decision may be.
PPS. Belgium, hey.
Even though I have said it over and again a million times 'for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God' I guess it really got me this week. It became so much more real than it had ever been. I know the depths of my sin (even though I don't see all of it) and I can admit beyond a doubt that I have fallen far.
There were three main points that sin really made itself clear to me.
At one point a friend of mine confessed a sin from the past.
At one point I was having a conversation about suffering and I said, kinda out of my own ideas, that people are born good, but that they are born into a world that is already bad and so become bad. Soon afterward my friend explained the gospel (basically) and how people are born sinful and in need of a savior and with this ability to sin and seek sin from the beginning (very true).
At one point I was in a bathroom at school and noticed an off-white liquid spattered on the sink. (gross)
Sin is so overwhelming sometimes. It eats us up. It desires to devour us and add distance between us and the only one who can save us. I guess I am a bit more cynical about the world right now. I have a friend that I actually thought was free from the struggle associated with porn and self-gratification. I guess I have come to see everyone as more sinful than I thought they were. I asked him if he ever struggled with it. He said yes.
The best guess I have been able to make about what I was feeling was a part of what God feels when we sin and turn from Him. Hatred and absolute righteous anger at the sin. Depression and sadness in their decision to do so even when there is a way out and He has offered to help. And at the same time, a love for the people involved. Even n sin He still loves us and desires to see us turn back to Him. He promises out of His faithfulness and justness to forgive our sins through Jesus' death on the cross when we turn to Him and confess.
We can do this on a much more on going basis too, not only after falling to be picked back up, but as we are going we can ask for the help of the Holy Spirit in us to keep us on the narrow path leading to life. Although the flesh is weak, the Spirit is more than willing to help.
Anyways, I am still not through feeling weird about all this stuff, and on top of those things I have had a deep wound of sin in my life reopened, but I know He has forgiven. I know He loves. I know He is always with us. I know He is good. I know through suffering we still have hope. I know that our lives o nearth is temporary and eternity is forever. I know. I know. I know.
Children's Sunday school is awesome by the way. So simple, but so true. Nothing but the blood of Jesus can cleanse me and make me whole again. Also, we should not just be readers of the Word, but doers also so that we may bear good fruit.
D.Fa
PS. I could never be a Catholic priest who has to listen to confessions day in and day out. I would just stop caring at some point, having seen the same people coming back week after week, hearing the worst sins, having no strength of my own to help these people, but just point them to Christ, whatever their decision may be.
PPS. Belgium, hey.
11.2.12
-sigh-
I feel so bad right now.
I don't even understand why I feel this way.
This shouldn't be a problem.
Why is this happening to me? How can I get through this?
What am I supposed to do?
Why do I feel this way..? What even is this feeling.
I know when it started, but I also know that I shouldn't have reacted so severely to something that is in the past, doesn't even involve me directly, and has been payed for by the Saviour.
I see the joy and hope and everything that God has given. I never would have guessed.
God's grace is unending. His Spirit has been poured out. His love is undeserved. He changes us from within. God uses the weak and broken. He heals the afflicted and gives an eternal hope to those who trust in Him.
THEN WHY DO I FEEL THIS WAY! GAH!
>.<
I know that facts are greater than feelings, but I don't even understand my feelings right now. I guess I have another tough day at work ahead of me. Why is it always the day that I have to be at work thinking for hours that I have these difficult things happen to me? >.> Grrrrr. I wanna punch something.
D.Fa
I don't even understand why I feel this way.
This shouldn't be a problem.
Why is this happening to me? How can I get through this?
What am I supposed to do?
Why do I feel this way..? What even is this feeling.
I know when it started, but I also know that I shouldn't have reacted so severely to something that is in the past, doesn't even involve me directly, and has been payed for by the Saviour.
I see the joy and hope and everything that God has given. I never would have guessed.
God's grace is unending. His Spirit has been poured out. His love is undeserved. He changes us from within. God uses the weak and broken. He heals the afflicted and gives an eternal hope to those who trust in Him.
THEN WHY DO I FEEL THIS WAY! GAH!
>.<
I know that facts are greater than feelings, but I don't even understand my feelings right now. I guess I have another tough day at work ahead of me. Why is it always the day that I have to be at work thinking for hours that I have these difficult things happen to me? >.> Grrrrr. I wanna punch something.
D.Fa
7.2.12
Music Video Cover
Yo, I was wasting time on youtube instead of studying for an inorganic chemistry midterm tomorrow. As if my brother is on youtube. lol. (He was in the video (for people who don't watch youtube (but you should watch this one, it's really good)))
Ya. lol. Always work to be done. xP.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
6.2.12
Where I am going.
Yo, I am going on a crazy ride right now. It's called doing your lab work before the day it is due. It's crazy.
The thing is that I have three midterms in a row this week, so I'm cramming for those. lol...
I've been working on sending out my support letter emails for going on Short Film Project. It's so close now, just a week and a bit until I go. Crazy. I just started support raising on the first and I'm no where near done sending emails, but I've already reached a bit over half way. I got to give a quick presentation at church on Sunday (yesterday. lol. feels so long ago) and that was good.
I still keep writing 2011 on things. It's just so much easier than 2012.
Tonight was our first DG of the semester. It looks like it will be good. XP. We'll be going through material called 'myStory' which is about training on how to share your story of how God has worked in and changed your life. We'll also be reading through Galatians, attempting to memorize Galatians 5, and reading through a couple books in our own time. I get to be in JS's DG! lol. Also, MS, MM and LT. It was cool at the end because one of the guys in my DG is also my housemate and he shared about his brother. It seems to be a really serious matter, so I'm really glad he could open up to us about that. I mean, I'm his housemate and I didn't know.
Drawing is fun. xP. I hope to do more soon. xP I wasn't actually drawing today. It's just what I do when support raising. I draw the abbreviation onto grid paper and slowly colour it in when I receive support. xP I'm also going to colour code a Punnet Square later for my genetics tutorial assignment. xP
Ya, so, I had Kraft Dinner for the first time this semester. I don't think I've had it many other times this year. Actually, I haven't bought many hotdogs this year. They are so good. xP. In KD, on rice, in stir-fry. lol. So versatile.
Yep. I got to meet up with KC on Friday and we're gonna continue reading the Gospel of John as well as reading 'The Case for a Creator' each week. I want to do more than that though. >.>
Contacts are lame. xP. I appreciate glasses so much more now.
Indicators that change colour slowly are lame. I appreciate phenolphthalein sooooo much more now.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
The thing is that I have three midterms in a row this week, so I'm cramming for those. lol...
I've been working on sending out my support letter emails for going on Short Film Project. It's so close now, just a week and a bit until I go. Crazy. I just started support raising on the first and I'm no where near done sending emails, but I've already reached a bit over half way. I got to give a quick presentation at church on Sunday (yesterday. lol. feels so long ago) and that was good.
I still keep writing 2011 on things. It's just so much easier than 2012.
Tonight was our first DG of the semester. It looks like it will be good. XP. We'll be going through material called 'myStory' which is about training on how to share your story of how God has worked in and changed your life. We'll also be reading through Galatians, attempting to memorize Galatians 5, and reading through a couple books in our own time. I get to be in JS's DG! lol. Also, MS, MM and LT. It was cool at the end because one of the guys in my DG is also my housemate and he shared about his brother. It seems to be a really serious matter, so I'm really glad he could open up to us about that. I mean, I'm his housemate and I didn't know.
Drawing is fun. xP. I hope to do more soon. xP I wasn't actually drawing today. It's just what I do when support raising. I draw the abbreviation onto grid paper and slowly colour it in when I receive support. xP I'm also going to colour code a Punnet Square later for my genetics tutorial assignment. xP
Ya, so, I had Kraft Dinner for the first time this semester. I don't think I've had it many other times this year. Actually, I haven't bought many hotdogs this year. They are so good. xP. In KD, on rice, in stir-fry. lol. So versatile.
Yep. I got to meet up with KC on Friday and we're gonna continue reading the Gospel of John as well as reading 'The Case for a Creator' each week. I want to do more than that though. >.>
Contacts are lame. xP. I appreciate glasses so much more now.
Indicators that change colour slowly are lame. I appreciate phenolphthalein sooooo much more now.
Ttyl.
D.Fa
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