Hubris: Anime and Reality

Back in highschool I remember one time I was doing an audition for a One Act play festival. The audition was a short scene, but also had a form to complete. On it the last question was something along the lines of "If you could be one of the Seven Deadly Sins, which would you be?"

First, the 'Seven Deadly Sins'. What are they? Well, I always think of an anime I watched named 'Full Metal Alchemist'. In it there were a couple brothers who had gone against the rules of alchemy and tried to bring their mom back to life. They created a monster writhing on the ground while also losing a couple limbs, and the other brother their entire body. They were on a quest to get back what was lost. But the 'bad guys' were these guys with crazy powers. Each had been made from a situation like the two brothers had done and they were named after the seven deadly sins. So that's how I always remember them.

Gluttony. Greed. Sloth. Lust. Pride. Wrath. Envy.

Now the anime ended up changing the ending as it caught up to the manga, so there's also a second series that followed the manga to the end 'FMA - Brotherhood', but I'm not talking about anime now. lol

So, point: What was my answer?

I wrote something like 'I would want to be pride because it would be the easiest to hide.'

Little did I realize how prideful that answer was. I don't want others to see me as sinful. I want to be regarded of as positively as possible. To be respected. To be better than others. The actions of lust, gluttony, and wrath are obvious. The lack of action of sloth is also quite evident. The actions caused by greed and envy are a little less obvious, but still not hard to see. But pride. You can hide that. You can appear normal.

In the show (both series) the enemy known as Pride acts as if he was a normal person until the brothers learn too much and he needs to take the fight into his own hands.

But that hubris led to their demise and the brothers win.

---

This is where I am now: when I am struggling with sin (whether lust, sloth, or anything) I take it into my own hands. I think "what can I do about it?" instead of just turning back to our Father in heaven and asking Him "how can I just stop and trust You more?"

I've been trying to serve more on worship team, spend more time with the guys I had been discipling, and just trying to make myself better.


I think largely this is pride.


I've heard multiple times that pride was the source of all sin [whoa now that I think of it, FMA-B storyline!!]. It started with Lucifer wanting to be God and so he rebelled. Next he tempted Adam and Eve saying "when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil". From that first rebellion against God's will and perfect plans the knowledge of evil and rebellion against God has been passed down through all generations and peoples.

But you know it was the fall, we had fallen from the position we held before perfectly made for a perfect place and in perfect relationship with God and now were left to crave and seek after more, seek what only God could provide.

Ultimately nothing of this world can fulfill that craving. He search for the things that feed it and seek more of it, but never are satisfied. In desperation, our last effort is to try to get back to God; religion. The things we can do to make ourselves better, to bridge that gap between us and Him. Maybe if I pray more? Maybe if I read His words more? Maybe if I give to the poor more, sing and play instruments for Him, teach and learn, got to church; do what a Christian does, that gap will narrow?
 But that's absolutely not how this works.

"We are all like one who is unclean, all our so-called righteous acts are like a menstrual rag in your sight. We all wither like a leaf; our sins carry us away like the wind." (NET)

Our works; the acts we do to make us feel better than others. Those works are no better than filth. And if we remain in our sin we shall be carried away like the wind to wither and die.

Only by the grace of God, the completely undeserved forgiveness offered by Jesus' death on the cross. God brought this to be, sent His Son to the cross for our sake; because that gap could never be overcome by our means. He overcame it for us and offers forgiveness. Offers life. Offers Himself.

Instead of doing more for the purpose of earning my salvation, I need to do less, trusting in what He has done and reciprocate His love to others; continuing to ask for Him to work in me eachday.

Just a thought.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

PS. This song kinda sums this all up.

Beg by Shane and Shane.
http://youtu.be/bxtHJ7nkF70

A Week of Trials

Hey guys!

Sorry about being gone so long. It's been a tough week.

Monday I packed and moved out of my house and back to my parents'. So I've been all over the place.

I had an exam Thursday morning that I had not really been in the class for and had literally a thousand lecture slides to review... So, ya... I crammed all day Wednesday at school and crashed in my house (now without blankets) and went straight to school after waking up. I decided to read the Bible in the Architecture building instead of really cramming anymore in. Wait, this story is from the Saturday morning before. lol. Ahh.... it's been a hard week. I had really been struggling and that day I went there and started to reflect on the Spirit-filled life and really surrendering to God's will and trusting in Him. A friend of a friend walked in after apparently watching Pride and Prejudice all night. >.> Found out she is Christian. lol. Oddly encouraging conversation where she was just like "that's awesome!" lol...

Anyways, Thursday I went straight to school at like 6:30 and met up with my friend I had been studying with all night before. He had not slept... >.> So I finished cramming while he attempted to take naps. We went to the exam and it wasn't that bad. Like our prof makes review questions for each chapter and basically copy and pastes the exact same questions to the exams, so I am very very very grateful for that.

Me and my buddy ended an hour early. We had a lab report due the next day at noon... He had forgotten something at his house and I had a car that day so we drove over to his house and ended up eating ramen for lunch. xP. His house is really cool. lol. He slept on the way and on the way back. The whole time I had been counting down how long we had until our report was due, cause we kinda only had 24 hours from when our exam was supposed to end and the report was likely going to be about 20 pages and we had really not started... >.<

So we got to work. Divided tasks. Found a room to crash for the next 20 hours. Got out the laptops and got to it.

Excruciatingly long day.

Energy drink.

I think it was my first official 'all-nighter' without any sleep working the whole time. My buddy took 'naps' like every hour or so. He was just dead from a week f cramming and not sleeping.

40 pages. Seriously. And what's annoying is that our assumptions were likely not valid... lol. So the majority of the was us explaining why our results are reasonable, but not accurate. lol...

We got it in just in time and I had to do my next thing.

I had been put in charge of leading worship for a YA event for Sunday and needed to select songs to sing billingually with EC. We were going to have a practice at 7pm, so I needed to choose and practice asap. Borrowed my brother's guitar and got it done. EC suggested doing different songs. So I switched it up and needed more practice, but it was good.

Since we had practiced at church I stayed for YF. Pretty cool. lol. I miss YF. lol. So few kids, but they are all legit.

I'll tell you more later.

D.Fa

(slept only like 7 hours Friday night... lol)

Suits and Masks

Yo, sorry if this turns into a bit of a rant. haha. You've been warned.

So, I've been wearing dress shirts a lot lately. I don't especially have a problem with this if it's just an untucked dress shirt and jeans. I actually really like the semi-casual look with like a nice dress shirt not tucked in, nice pants and converse sneakers. But what I do have a problem with is like the whole suit and dress, semi-formal idea.The whole thing to me is just so fake.

One of my friends was joking that every time our other friend is wearing a suit he is looking for a woman.

Big problem: when people are wearing a dress and makeup or a suit they are putting on a show, sowing off the best side of themselves. If you get to know only the best of someone and never see the other parts you are going to be so far off when you actually get to a relationship.

You need to get to know the person for who they are, all their strengths and flaws. Not so you can accept all the flaws the way they are forever, but more like have an understanding of where they are weak so you can help each other grow.

But when people put on the suits, when people put on the makeup, when people put up this image of who they are pretending to be, I just can't stand it.

And the whole making connections for the sake of using people...

How in politics when something slips through the cracks of your perfect suit and mask and people hold it against your image for the next few months or years...

Grace.

We aren't perfect. We have problems. We have issues.

Covering them up doesn't help a thing. It's like you killed someone and you bury them. They are still going to be there, but now they are rotting. You can bury it really deep, but it's still there. Justice will come to pass.

Gotta be upfront and just confess and ask for forgiveness and help to change.

*sigh*

Being real is really hard though.

D.Fa

Can We Escape?

Ok. So it's been a long time since I blogged last, like over a week.


Kinda the same reasons as always.

Anyways, good times and bad, but ya.



------
Here's a game: http://www.mofunzone.com/online_games/and_everything_started_to_fall.shtml

It's called "And Everything Started to Fall".

Play it. It takes like 5 minutes. Really. Play it.
-----

We had our P2C year end banquet last Friday which was a lot of fun, got to lead worship on Sunday, had sushi with the servant team on Monday, stayed up all night working on a paper, slept Tuesday, had classes and review tutorials, visited my mom in the hospital.

Stuff happens.

I've got an exam at 9 am on Saturday so I have to cram for that. After that a formal lab report, two exams, going to a conference and I'm off to Saskatoon for the summer to work in a lab, which should be awesome.

But ya, I've been wasting as lot of time lately on facebook, youtube, free apps on my phone...

You play that game yet? I hate spoilers, so you've been warned.

This game is like my life. In the pursuit of moving forward and doing stuff you forget to enjoy the times you have there. The first time I played the game I was just jumping and didn't even realize what was happening in my life until I started drowning in money. Like really. Time starts flying by and you don't realize what is happening until it is too late. God has blessed you with this time, so why are we wasting it?

*sigh*

I just want to escape. lol

Ttyl.

D.Fa

Loved

Yo, so, this week has been one of those weeks.

I don't really have that much to do, and so that means I am doing next to nothing and also falling to my struggles and just overall not doing too well, simply because I have free time, which means I waste time, stay up late, sleep in, get bored? There's gotta be a real way to deal with this. I mean, just having free time shouldn't lead to temptation and sin. I need to figure out how to live life when I have free time.

In my hours of wasted time I ended up going from email to youtube subscriptions to vsauce again and onto a DONG (Do Online Now Guys) video and my attention was caught by this game:


http://armorgames.com/play/6086/loved

It's really simple, but powerful. You play the game how you want to play. Multiple times there will be a prompt to do something and you can choose to do it, or not to, and that changes the course of the game and ultimately the ending, but one thing doesn't change. I don't want to spoil it, so go play it now before reading on. It will take probably 10 minutes max. It took me 30 to play twice including one really long part.

I'm really blessed though. Like today was a lab exam for my plant physiology and biochemistry class. I really didn't study much yesterday and I slept in and was going to school at 9 to cram until my lab. Got to school at 9:30, but then a friend attacked me and we talked until my class at 10. Instead of paying attention in class I flipped through the 700 pages of my textbook and found out that MT planned for us to go sharing during discing time, so I asked if he could keep me accountable to study for an hour after my class then we could go sharing for an hour.

So really I had scanned my textbook, but that was about all the review I had since the review session last week. My friend also needed to borrow my laptop for his lab exam at the same time as mine, so I had no laptop to study with. I ended up reading my lab manual for an hour, skipping the last part cause I was bored of it.

We talked for a bit and then went off. We ran into this guy NP. He was pretty cool. Wearing a St. Louis Gretzky jersey and a Blue Jays cap. We got into a good conversation about God's grace and the sinlessness of Christ. Got to walk through our need for a saviour and share a bit about how anger in itself isn't a sin. He was really interested in the conversation, like he had maybe 2 texts a minute for the 25 minutes we talked and he never answered one of them. xP

Then I had the lab exam. Was slightly late, but quite confident in my answers. Got to answer about photosynthesis, the topic of our microbio lab, so it was really easy. I ended up being nearly the first person done.

But ya, I really liked that game. Have you played it yet? No? Go play it. I hate spoilers.......

----------

Ok. Done now? Good. The ending is so good! Whether you followed His prompts or not, He still offers you a chance to come close to Him and experience His love. Even after walking away your entire life, He still gives you that chance. You can continue to walk away, but then you'll never experience Him. Taste and see that He is good, you won't want to walk away anymore. There may be difficult parts, like that part where He asked you to take the road through the spikes, but He is with you and will help you through it.

"I have loved you with an everlasting love"

That's what the Bible says about God's love for the world. So much that even though we went against Him, He was willing to forgive us justly by taking our punishment upon Himself, bearing it all on the cross.

So, ya. That game. So much a reflection of God's love.

Anyways, Ttyl.

D.Fa
 
PS. Austria! w00t!

Created in His Image

Yo, so when stuff happens I just need to write it down and tell someone. And by doing so, not only do I make my joy complete, I also get to glorify God. So, listen. haha.

I've been having a pretty off day to say the least. Last night I was helping my friend who is a dj and got her back home around 1:30. I was exhausted, but I also saw something I shouldn't have and it really messed me up.

This morning I woke up, made poor decisions and ended up slightly late to church for Good Friday service. It was pretty interesting. I don't think anyone disliked it. haha. A bunch of people were asked last night if they would be willing to go up to the cross and pray near the end of service (he was going to invite everyone to write a prayer on a card and bring it to the cross, but you could also stay at the front and pray) I ended up being nearly last because apparently I write long prayers. lol. But ya, it was good, I got to pray all about this stuff from the morning and I got to make a new Malaysian friend and ya. good times.

I was at my parents' house all day with our new puppy. lol. I got to take him for a 'walk'. lol... Watched the end of Hunger Games finally!

But ya, so I left around 7 and was driving home. Just going over the hill by Confederation Station I saw all this sunshine and awesome picture opportunities behind me and felt the urge to walk back and take pictures. Walking back the sun had set more, so good picture times were done, but I felt I should really find a good place and spend time with God for the rest of the sunset. Usually that would mean at the park, but there were people in my spot, so I thought 'on the otrain?' but nah, it would take forever to get home if I missed the stop, so I chose to go to Heron station.

Anyways, sat down, still kinda annoyed with my actions this morning, but opened the Bible in Job where I was currently reading. I reread chapter 8 then read 9 and 10. Good stuff in there (8:8-10, 9:4-10, and 9:32-35) but the passage that really stuck out to me was 10:8-12.

"Your hands shaped me and made me,
   Will you know turn and destroy me?
Remember that you molded me like clay.
   Will you now turn me to dust again?
Did you not pour me out like milk
   and curdle me like cheese,
clothe me with skin and flesh
   and knit me together with bones and sinews?
You gave me life and showed me kindness,
   and in your providence watched over my spirit."

This really stood out to me because of a conversation I had last week at Carleton with a Muslim guy. It was turning into an argument between ZL and him, but after we shook hands and were friendly and everything. Anyways, one thing he said about Qur'anic science was that in the Qur'an it says that in developing fetuses the bones are made before the flesh, which these verses don't exactly agree upon. I had also read a bit of stuff about embryology in the Qur'an before, so when I came to this verse I needed to find out more and googled "islam science embryology" on my phone in the bus station.

I got this website as the top result: http://www.answering-islam.org/Quran/Science/embryo.html

I was fully expecting to get a biased result fully supporting what the Qur'an says, but I was greatly surprised by this website. He was seeking to see what the Qur'an actually says and disputing the idea that 'the Qur'an says a lot about Science way before we knew it' which I have heard a number of times.

Apparently a lot of studies on embryos had been done before the Qur'an was written, and Greek understanding was translated and got to Arabia and even to Muhammed's close friends. A really striking sentence on that page though was that the end of the sura about embryology is accepted as being said by Muhammed's scribe (ie not inspired).

Sura 23:12-14 reads (in my English Qur'an):

"We created man from an essence of clay, then We placed him as a drop of fluid in a safe place, then We developed that drop into a clinging form, and We developed that form into a lump of flesh, and We developed that lump into bones, and clothed the bones with flesh. Then We brought him into being as a new creation glory be to God, the best of creators"

Anyways, you should read that article. It is very well researched.

I'm really glad God speaks in these ways, maybe not as directly as I might hope some times, but still He answers the questions on our hearts and points us back to Himself.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

The Smell of Sweat

Hey guys,

Do you know how awkward highschool dances are? No? Than you should work with a DJ for a few weeks. Honestly, it's a hot, stinky mass of gyrating children... There's something wrong with this. This isn't even mentioning the lyrics of the songs they are 'dancing' to. And these aren't even the bad kids, these are like kids who want to be in politics from across Canada. >.>

Anyways, ya. I've had a couple big assignments the last few days as well as my independent project, which is taking way longer than expected, probably at least 5 more hours in the lab next week. It is really fun just working with SP in the lab and getting to know each other a bit better. After the lab today we went and played chess in the library.

I had a massive assignment to do today. I woke up (not as early as I had hoped) and got to work on it. I had spent like 7 hours yesterday working on it trying to get it done before the deadline. I thought it was due today (my lab day), but was apparently due at 11:55 last night. It turned out to be 12 pages long. Somehow I was done most of it by 1 today and submit it from the lab. Again my lab coordinator gave me grace where it wasn't deserved.

This day kinda started really badly, but it really got better in the middle.. I will hopefully tell you more in a few days. xP

Ya. Gonna have to tell DC I can't be her DJ assistant / chauffeur for the summer.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

Do It All For His Glory

Yo.

So, today and last night I was away at a retreat in Quebec with some people from church. It was the retreat for our Personal Ministry and Counselling course we were doing, so it was a lot of confession and praying for one another in pairs. It was pretty good I guess. The only thing I really needed to deal with only really came up at the very end.

I have been acting pretty hypocritically recently. Largely driven by pride, but the results were like not doing what God wants me to do and like not sharing my life with my brothers in Christ.

Friday morning I was meeting up with one guy and he was pretty direct about it: 'I don't know anything about you. You never tell me anything about you.'

Bam.

Conviction

So, ya, I really want to seek after God's Kingdom and righteousness first, trusting that He will provide and protect and use this all for His glory. Perfect love, His love, drives out all fear. If our God is for us, who can be against us?

It may be hard sometimes, but I wanna do what He wants me to do; I wanna go where He wants me to go.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

Crazy Days

Yo. So today I went to school early, finished an assignment, worked on a lab report through class, had a discing meeting, finished my lab, did more lab work, had a review tutorial, then I was walking home from the train and this weird thought crossed my mind... I don't have anything due tomorrow..? O.O

IMPOSSIBLE!!

So I folded laundry and did the dishes and watched anime and played worship songs on guitar.

Here comes tomorrow!






lol....

So productive. Not.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

PS. I'm really excited about the summer right now, and about how all the guys in my DG will grow next year.

Our Hope is in You

Yo! Hey!

Today was another day with another large assignment due in less than 24 hours, but you know, each day isn't the same as the last. There is always the opportunity for greater things to happen.

I started the day with breakfast and the last two chapters of Revelation: the New Jerusalem and the River of Life. So much to look forward to.

Classes. Then we got to start our independant project for Micro. Lots of fun. Haha. A whole lab to ourselves and self-directed work. SP kinda got stuck working with the spinach the whole like 4.5 hours. I really hope that gets faster. We have found ways to speed that up for sure. But ya. Good times.

Ended up in the Hub woking on my paper and had a bit of a conversation with JL about relationships and cooking. I finished my paper and we were gonna meet up with DP at 9 before he goes back to Toronto on Saturday, but this snow stopped him. So I chilled in the Architecture studios a bit. Lol. Some first year art projects are just amazing. Good to talk to PC and JL and everyone. PC has been going to church recently apparently so I was excited to talk with him. I encouaged him to keep working on his project. He said I was really optimistic. I asked a bit about where his hope comes from and he said no where. Christ is where our hope comes from. Praying for him to come to that realization.

Anyways, gonna have dinner and do an assignment before bed.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

Even in the mess, He never leaves us.

Monday was a Week Ago

Yo.

So yesterday was Sunday. We had church and for once in a long time we went out for lunch afterwards. Squished 15 of us into a Pho place in China town. Then me, SC, and JC, as well as RV had a homework party in the River Building. I actually did get some work done. At the time it seemed like a lot, but not now... lol.

Today kinda was annoying. I had a bad dream last night and so all day I was being really tempted and just ya, not feeling good. Servant Team was actually fun for once. We had no staff and EE was also not there so me and RM had all the work to do in a short amount of time (since he was late). It was fun actually doing the stuff, not just being there and doing nothing. DG was ok. Kinda weird, but stuff should be happening. YA was good Pastor DB talked about masculinity.

Now I'm home.

Trying to get people to move in downstairs. Looks like RM will be with two of his friends. I really wanted some other Christian guys too, but I guess he'll be ok. lol. I'm really not as open with him as I should be considering he was my DGL in first year and the only other male student leader at the moment... It will be a growing experience.

Anyways, ttyl.

D.Fa

Lack of Sleep

Yo.

I'm a little annoyed right now. But ya, the last couple days did go pretty well.

Thursday I had a lab report due, so I went to school early and ya, worked on it. Afterwards I got to go to a Dialogue Students Association event that my friend had invited me to. There was a rabbi, priest, and imam who shared their thoughts on the theme "the purpose youth in time". I had no idea what they would say. But it was interesting. The priest read the parable of the prodigal son. Which was interesting. I got to talk with a brother and ended up staying at school all night...I had a double lab report due Friday and was out of time.

I never pull all-nighters, nor do I drink energy drinks normally, but I had no real choice at that point. So, I had to. I slept for two half-hour periods. So that day was kinda painful. lol. SC sent me home instead of talking with him cause I needed a shower / breakfast. But I also had to work in the lab and talk with ZL and ya, other stuff to do too. I ended up sleeping in the Tory lobby for an hour an a half that afternoon. Then I went to the Festival of Planning with P2C.

FoP was good. We did a lot of planning. But it was good too. lol. It was definitely awesome to see so many students want to come together and pray and plan for the next year. It's kinda really annoying that I can't be here to be part of it all next year though with co-op and all...

Anyways,

Ttyl.

D.Fa

Time With God

Yo.

So this week has been pretty sweet. I am seriously trying to prioritize time with God, so each day breakfast is also Bible time and my days have been pretty awesome.

Yesterday woke up at 6. Had a midterm at 10, but I made sure I had breakfast and time in the Bible. midterm went well, way better than expected. At 1 I had 4 hours of preparing solutions for the MicroBio Independant Project. It was pretty fun. lol. I had a dentist appointment at 6:30 instead of the Unity Worship night at 7, but I got there and the lady looking at my teeth asked me about reading week and I got to tell her about Haiti a bit and found out that there is a couple who travel around to  other countries and remote places to do dental work (I assumed they were missionaries) and then the dentist told me his daughter went to the Dominican to build a school with classmates from her school (All Saints) and another Catholic school in Ottawa.

Today woke up at 6. Lab due at 1. After breakfast went to school and was super productive for some reason. lol. Got to go sharing at 11:30 and had a really good conversation with a guy in the food court. Got to share a bit about science and my faith and ya. cool times. lol. We were going to innoculate the media today and go to sushi at 1. Didn't quite happen like that... lol. Oh well.

But ya.

Gonna keep this chain going. lol.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

Jesus Loves Me This I Know

Yo guys. Can I just say how awesome it is to know that no matter what happens, no matter what the future holds, that I can trust God with it? No matter what struggles we go through we know Christ was tempted far beyond us in every way and still would rather die for the sins of the world than die to sin? That even if we lose house and home, family and friends, belongings and even our lives for the sake of the gospel and Jesus' name we know we are satisfied in Him, and that He supplies even more than we can ask for or imagine?

That is just how I am feeling now. Like, just I know Nothing in All of creation. Nothing. at. All. can separate us from the love of God. Nothing. And that more than that, He is with us always from the moment we ask Him to come into our lives til the end of eternity.

If anything is astonishing, it's the gospel. That God would send His very Son to die for the sake of those who had voluntarily gone astray. Instead of wiping us off the face of the earth, He would have mercy on us and give us grace. That instead of the death we deserved. Death. He would die for us, to give us life, life abundant, new life, eternal life.

Yo. And the fact that He has made us in His image, that every single thing He has brought into our lives, no matter how messy or shameful it may be, He can still redeem any and everything in it for His glory and for His purposes. Everything.

Oh my God, you are just amazing and more than I could every hope to explain by words. Lord you are truly loving, just, and there for us in every circumstance. Lord, take every part of our lives and just use it for your glory. Let not any part of our hearts be filled with anything besides thee and thee alone. Father, discipline us in love and teach us each day more of the great things you have done for us and your faithfulness that in everything your plans are best.

What can I say, what can I do, but offer this life completely to you, oh God?

Work Makes You Tired (GHT13 Day 6)

Feb 21 ~ 9PM

Today was ok. I kinda felt a bit distant from God. I don't really know why, but ya.

Work was really good. We were doing concrete again. Which at first thought is pretty bad, but it was awesome. 94lb cement bags, whatever. lol. We worked really well and got it done by lunch.

I've been trying to get good video of all our major jobs. I just really need a video of the girls sorting rice. That takes so much effort and it is so appreciated, but was only described as "helping in the kitchen" which does not describe much.

After we did more painting. I got to talk a bit with the guy from the other day. He's a cool guy.

Chasing lizards and petting puppies is pretty fun. lol.

Tonight we like played charades with the kids. I was so tired. lol.

So ya, tomorrow I've got to lead morning devo tomorrow. Should be good, but I don't know what I will do. lol

Gonna sleep. Last day tomorrow.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

Time to Talk (GHT13 Day 5)

Feb 20 ~ 9:00PM

Yo, today was interesting. First we woke up and had breakfast. Today they continued jackhammering the old pool, but I had no idea how I could help so I went painting again. The chocolate paint worked well. I ran into a guy who thought he knew me and definitely knew SB.

After lunch I got to turn steel rods into steel nails with a rock and a hammer and continued painting. We got  alot done.

I got my hair done. Lol. Cornrows finally. I hope they last. lol.

Tonight we had a singing time with the kids and I got to play guitar and sing worship team. [we had really no practice. JW and I, as well as MC chose the songs the night before and she transcribed the lyrics / chords onto paper while I was getting cornrows. We practiced for like 4 minutes before... lol. keys were pretty bad for me so when JC wa holding the mic for me, I pushed it at her. lol. 'You sing'. haha. JC didn't like that. lol.] It was pretty funny, but good. After I got to pray for one of the guys. I actually think today went really fast. Still really glad to be here and work together with everyone.

I got to talk with one of the guys about one of the things I've been needing to think and pray about, so it's good. I think this just confirms things.

Only two days left. I need to figure out what God wants to teach me here.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

Does God Procrastinate?

So, I was having these thoughts yesterday.

As much as I procrastinate there is one thing I am very much committed to; I will not lose marks because of handing something in late. This is by far the easiest marks to not lose. No matter what you hand in, if you hand it in late you lose marks. So, ya, pretty standard idea, eh? like Handing in something at an 85% level the day of is way better than handing in something a day late at 10% deduction, meaning to get higher you'd need something worth 95% or higher.

So ya, even though I push it very much to the last second, I will not hand it in late.

But wait, God is never 'late' or 'slow' as we understand these words. It's all in His time. But, does that mean God is a procrastinator?

Absolutely not. God doesn't sit there and say 'oh, I can do this later' or 'how much longer can I not do this?' and He definitely doesn't complain 'I don't wanna do this assignment' or anything like that. He just knows what time is best for things to happen and ultimately it is for the good of all, not just one or two people, but all who would come to Him.

Open My Eyes (GHT13 Day 4)

Feb 19 ~8:45PM

Yo, today has been pretty awesome.

Yesterday was pretty tough, but today I got to work on the guest house, painting and cement finishing. Mostly in the shade and it was a little less intense physically. So it was good.

BG was sick all day which sucks, but I'm sure God had a plan for that.

This afternoon we continued on the guest house, but I ended early. Gotto go to the houses of 4 of the workers to meet their families, pray for them, give them a care package and encourage them. It was awesome. They kinda live far away, but to see this family dynamic, their joy in the tough times, and their faith was pure joy. We got to experience their generosity, got to worship with them, and got to see God's love in their families. I just wanted to give grandma a big hug and pray for how God has been faithful to her in blessing her family and being with them.

Devos was awesome. God really spoke to me and I reconstructed that lesson. I hope it was really what someone needed.

Ya. Only Tuesday. So great. Been taking some videos of what we did and everything to show when I get back.

Still so surreal, but today was awesome.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

- Open the eyes of my heart
- Neh 8:10

To Those Who Overcome

Yo. So today was a little lame, but then it was pretty cool.

I woke up late and had a lab report due today. Bad combo as always. So, kinda skip breakfast, go to school, work on it until and during class and an hour after to get it done so I could chill with MT. It was really good. I really needed to sit and just talk about God's goodness for a while. lol. I mean it's not all easy, it's not all fun, but I know God is doing great things through this time and greater things in the times to come. It was short, but as good time to reflect a bit too.

Lab time came. Apparently you lose 20% per day (or 0.8% per hour) for handing it in late! That's heavy! I'm really glad that I have resolved to not lose late marks if I can avoid it. I think the only time I actually knew I wasn't going to be done on time my lab coordinator just said 'get it in before the end of the lab period' which gave me like 2 more hours to do it. But ya, that's mad. lol. The guys across the bench from me know I go to a Chinese church now. lol. My lab partner has been really in the word lately. It's really encouraging. He's definitely not all there yet, but it's definitely not by anything that I have done to get him here. I'll just text him 'Hey what's up?' and he'll reply "hey! I haven't been to church lately, but I've been reading the Bible! =D" lol.

After the lab we went for Pho. Like during the lab period. Pretty funny. Next week we're gonna hand in our labs then go for sushi for lunch. AN asked me where I had been in the world and actually, every other country I have been to I have been to on a missions trip, which is pretty cool. I kinda hope it stays that way. Not that it's always a missions trip, but that I'm always on mission. Like, wherever I go I always bring the gospel with me.

But ya. lol. Probably should do some more work so I can go to prayer meeting and not freak out tomorrow about my prelab. lol.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

PS. Read this.
This one is great too.

Someday Soon

"In the day of the Lord's anger

no one escaped or survived;

those I cared for and reared, 

my enemy has destroyed."

Lam 2:22b

Yo. That's a pretty serious verse. I really hope I never have to say that. 

All my friends, my family, my classmates, maybe a future family. "those I cared for and reared." All destroyed. And that's where they are headed. 

"In the day of the Lord's anger no one escaped or survived". That is fully deserved. None of us lives up to perfection's standards. We can say 'Oh, but I was better than that guy.' or 'I wasn't that bad', but both are just comparing to others. If God had a bell curve for how we are doing, morally, ethically, the effort we put in, what would be the cut-off percentile? 95th percentile? 99th? What about the others? It's completely not fair to judge on a bell curve when it comes down to life or destruction. So what standard is it? 

I don't mean to offend, but the standard is perfection. I don't live up to it. You don't live up to it. We each have flaws, ways we have decided to seek our own good before the good of others, ways we have not lived up to even our own standards. So how can we live as if judgment is never going to come? How can we live each day passing by these people and knowing what is coming? 

How can we not tell them about the only way to avoid destrcution?

How can we not share our salvation with them, not that it is really ours to give, but a privilege that we can do so?

If we trust in what Jesus has done at the cross; in what He did to take our destruction and punishment upon Himself, that is where we find life. He said that He came not to condemn, but bring life. If we don't receive His forgiveness we stand condemned already with everyone else.

It isn't because we don't accept Jesus that we are condemned, but because of our condemnation and God's love for us, Jesus came to give us a way out.

So, how can I not tell my classmates? How can I not tell my friends? Is it not easier to just bring up God's love into a conversation while there is still time, rather than the guilt of not doing so before our paths diverge?

I don't want to see my friends and family be destroyed. I want them to see real life. I want them to see God. I want them to. I pray that they will someday. Someday soon.

Rev 22:12 "Behold, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done." 

Unless we have Jesus' forgiveness, we are going to receive for what we have done.