Chaos of my 'Deep'

So, after looking at my notes and what had just happened before in the day, I think I know why I didn't have anything to say about Chai Ling's amazing testimony from running and hiding to fleeing after standing for freedom in China, to finding freedom in Christ. She then found out about coerced abortions in China, she and a few others fighting against the injustice of hundreds of thousands of missing girls and the mothers who were forced to it in China. Dealing with her past: her distant father; her mother's death while she was exiled; her own four abortions; her sexual assault. Even with everything she had been through, God has given her forgiveness, God has given her love, God has continued to put a passion in her to seek justice in this world and be used for change. "This is your bitter cup." "This is the God who sent His very own Son to die, so that we could be forgiven, healed and be set free. Our God does not condemn us, we who are in Jesus Christ, he loves, he loves, he sacrificially, patiently loves us."

And David Platt's really powerful message on being satisfied in Christ. "In Christ we have found someone worth losing everything for. Infinitely worthy of all our trust; all our plans and dreams; all our affection. Worthy of all, our, lives."(I'll likely talk more about this later.)

Anyways, the reason I didn't really write anything probably has to do with the message in the track seminar. It was all about God's invitations in our lives and our reactions to it. After seeing God do something great, we will often be tempted to settle. Just as Peter didn't settle with fish, just as Macintosh didn't settle with the 'first computer you could pick up', so we also may need to give up things to move forward where God is calling us. A staff member in Calgary was one day meeting up with his boss expecting to talk all about how the new ministries were growing and how to continue forward, when instead they asked if he would move to Edmonton and start the ministry there. He had a whole lot of Calgary vs Edmonton conflict to deal with, as well as having two kids under 5, and a wife who also didn't really want to move. "Well, since we're Christian you should at least pray about it" was his boss' comment. haha. So they prayed 'this is how I feel about it, but we are your people'. They didn't want to, but they were willing to go where God called them. He showed in a  number of ways that 'this is where I am sending you'.

And I guess I am still settling with East Asia, even though I feel called to go elsewhere. I was really fighting at that point.

Watch This. Each day, before the Exposition of the passage in Luke by Calisto, there would be a performance about either the Bible Study's passage or the next passage. This one is about when Jesus calls Peter and his friends to go out into the deep and fish in the day. The part of 'Jesus' at the end. Those words just resonate so deeply. "Leave your boats, drop your nets, come and follow me." "I've come rescue the world from the chaos of the deep. Leave your boats, drop your nets, come and follow me." "Leave your boats, drop your nets, come and follow me."

Ttyl.

D.Fa

Really Being Fed

Urbana 12 - 28 (2)

Yo. So that was an amazing dinner. Haha. Not because of the food, but because of the sheer method and efficiency by which 16000 people could be fed.

We entered at one end, fast walk to the other, got a tray of food, walked to a section of tables (there were four table cloth colours), sit, eat, every five minutes a group of tables was done with a 5 min warning for the next group.

Then the evening session. So good. I ran into SG again. He had added me on facebook and apparently AT was like his best friend in Halifax. Haha. World so small la.

Worship in English, French, Spanish, Mandarin, Korean, Congalese.

Chai Ling. David Platt. Just wow.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

[So much more I could be saying about this day. haha.]

Wait for Tomorrow

Yo, so today, what happened?

I'm not even sure. lol. I wrote a lot of letters, but I feel like I didn't get a lot done..? Oh! I did do some work on set list making for Sunday. >.>

I got to have a really good conversation with my mom. Yesterday I had a really good conversation over instant messaging with my friend from EA, Samson. xP I haven't been able to talk with him in like 5 months. >.<

I got to have my dad's muffins for the first time in a very long time.

Anyways, I'm really tired and these Urbana posts take so much life out of me. haha.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

PS. Saudi Arabia!

Is a Small Group a Church?

Urbana 12 Seminars Blog Series  

-Part 1- 

House Churches (2pm Dec 28)

So, the first day of seminars. Since I had a track (which met everyday at 3:30, when the second round of seminars were) I didn't have too many choices. I mean I could have skipped the track to go to a seminar, but I was pretty sure there was a reason God got me hooked up into the track. So, I didn't really look at the 3:30 seminar selection (except to check if there was a sciences seminar (which there wasn't. (well there were many health care / medical seminars, but that's not what I meant.)))

Anyways, the seminar. First day's 2pm seminars didn't interest me all that much, so I ended up going to one about house churches. My pastor has been going on about small groups and the early church a lot, or at least I have heard a lot about it recently. Largely the point is that 'the church' is not a building, but the ones called out (εκκλησια (ekklesia)). Basically as in Matt 18:20, 'where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am too'. So the church isn't a building, but where the believers are.

Although we associate the word 'church' with a big old building with pews and a steeple, there is nowhere in the Bible words on what 'church' should look like. Only indications on what should be important values int he church. And that was the focus of this seminar: how do traditional 'brick church' and the 'house church' compare when it comes to how these values are played out?

Brick Church             VS.            House Church

The four values discussed were as folllows: Community, Outreach, Priesthood, Discipleship.

The following is mainly what I wrote down during the seminar.

Community: In brick churches, aside from making programs, like small groups and stuff, you don't really interact that much. In house churches, with meals around the table, you see each other throughout the week, and church is interwoven into your relationships. The 'one another' commands are easier to fulfill.

Outreach: God used to live in the temple. Now He lives in each of us. Instead of before where we had to bring people to the temple to interact with God, with God in us our mission is to go and be with people. Church to the people, not people to the place.

Priesthood: 1 Pet 2:5 'you are to be a holy priesthood'. As it is now, very few people are in front of as many people as possible. lots of consumption. In house churches, everyone ministers to everyone else. the structure of our churches may be influencing our doctrine. An example he used was how we 'need' elders to have a church, Paul encourages elders as a position to be sought after, but for sure before they were appointed Paul would still send them letters as a church, acting more as a travelling elder kind of figure. But the main point he was making here was that because of our structure, the gifts of few are overshadowing, maybe even sometimes keeping others from realizing and using the gifts they have been given.

Discipleship: investing in a few relationships deeply, as Jesus did. This is intrinsic in house churches, whereas again, you need to set up programs or another time to meet up to do discipleship with brick churches.


At the end was a round of questions (in the post script).

So, my overall impression from the seminar: How do we balance brick vs house churches?

I mean, the idea sounds good, but it is very uncomfortable coming from our church background and also kinda difficult. But admittedly I am sometimes not satisfied with my brick church experiences. I mean multiple times this last semester I'd go to church on Sunday, serve for a couple hours, then everyone would leave and I barely interacted with anyone. Whereas my small groups this semester have been awesome: get to know each other better, work through struggles together, pray for each other, share joys, eat meals together, you know, good stuff.

So, ya, I don't really know exactly. What do you think?

D.Fa


PS. Q+A
-what about house churches in a dorm / university setting, won't they disappear in 4 years?
     --so what if they do? the people will move on to other churches.
-brick church small groups, are they actually house churches?
     --They may be if the members are committed, all the values of a church are present, and all areas of church activities. Small groups usually focus on one aspect of church life.
-Isn't IVCF a church? Should we keep going to brick churches?
     --70% of house church goers occasionally go to a brick church.
-How to start a house church?
     --Pray for others with the same heart as you, and pray for new believers to join the church
-How does Paul work in house churches?
     --Encourage others to use their gifts
-What do house churches look like?
     --A network of smaller groups that multiply. As the number of people increases, community decreases and less priesthood, so multiply!
-bishop/overseer?
     --network overseers. May not have leaders in every church.
-false teachings? No one to makesure, "no qualified leader"?
     --if a controversy arises, just ask them to explain themselves. He said this was really not a problem.
-Dangers?
     --You can get a lot of people who are just mad at brick churches
     --in-grown churches that don't love the community. --> time to split!
     --no real issue with false teachings.

Food for Thought - Fish or Men?

Urbana 12 - 28 (1/2)

Yo, so it's 5:25pm now. Today has been good.

Woke up nice and early for a shower before going for breakfast which was scheduled between 7-8:15. Not quite what we had hoped for. It was a bag with an orange, a granola bar, a yogurt and a cup of juice. So my roommates had to buy something else. Haha.

8:45 was Bible Study time. This was interesting. 300 Canadians in a room studying the same passage inductively. Sometimes individual thinking, sometimes large group discussion facilitated by 5 or so wireless mics going around the room. We were looking at Luke 4 when Jesus is teaching and then goes fishing with Simon Peter. I didn't know until today the context around the fishing equipment. Like the nets were large, visible nets that worked best at night in shallow water. That makes a huge difference when thinking about how Jesus told Peter, during the day, to set out the nets

in

the

deep water. 

On top of how that's completely not the way it should have been done, just the night before they had caught nothing. So it's quite a surprise when two boats are now sinking because of all the fish.

But as we just talked about, Jesus didn't want Peter to settle with the great thing that had just happened. God wants us to keep moving forward trusting Him for bigger and better things. If a large catch of fish was good enough for Peter that would have been it.

BUT!
Jesus called him to follow after Him and become a fisher of men. Just look what happened at Pentecost. Nearly 3000 were added to their numbers that day. 3000 people whose lives were forever changed. 3000 people who could now experience God's goodness and the abundant life.

So, some fish? *psh-* Is there even a choice? It's so stupid that we even consider a pile of fish.

Anyways, it's a little funny being in the Canadian Student Leader Track. The guy was like 'you were invited because it is you guys who are leaders in Intervarsity' and my table (me (P2C) and the other guys (Navs)) were kinda making faces. Lol. The track session wasn't anything specific to IVCF, so we're all good. Haha.

Lunch was fun. 16 000 people all trying to get lunch in like an hour and a half..? Ha.

Seminar was interesting. An hour is so short. I intend to blog about each seminar separately, both to share with you guys and to also think it through fully.

One thing I am thinking right now is "where is the scheduled quiet time?" I mean, that Bible study was good, probably better than an hour of 'free time', as some are tempted to treat scheduled quiet time, but I just realized how little I have been praying today and how detached I am. I think, I need a quiet time.

Anyways, gotta go for dinner. Should be interesting. Haha.

Ttyl

D.Fa

First Impressions / Grown at Home

Ya, so, today I did laundry and a lot of guitar playing. haha.

I'm worship leader this weekend and it's gonna be kinda similar to what worship was like in St. Louis, at least setlist-wise. haha. I actually had to try and write out chords to a song that was made for Urbana, but I asked SM to help and he scrapped like half of what I did, but it sounded way better and he got the bridge. lol.

Anyways, since that's boring, let me tell you a bit about my first impressions of Urbana.

Revelation Song - Four Languages! Just a taste of heaven.

So, I was really conflicted about not being in Toronto for P2C+, formerly Winter Conference. But I was kinda blown away by the sheer scale of everything. I had been going with SL and MC until I had to go pay while they registered. So I was alone in that crowd. But it was seriously crazy.

Urbana is a 'Missions Conference', so I knew it was going to be a lot about encouraging people to go and be missionaries. This often means career missionaries that go to other parts of the world to share the gospel. This isn't a bad thing, but I was warned to really think about the things that are said and pray about it, not just jump on board with everyone else or anything. God could be calling me to stay in Canada, or do ministry here, or the workplace or I don't even know, but ya, that was part of my mindset going in.

The first session emphasized that we should just surrender our plans before God and see where He leads us this week. The speaker emphasized the need for Missions to not be compromised. The passage was in Luke 4:14-30, Jesus declaring his mission and identifying himself as Christ. The first point was the importance of the Spirit in missions. It says both at the start of the passage as well as the first part of Isaiah Jesus reads that he is filled with the Spirit. Although we often make missions into 'what can we do' mindset, we need the Spirit if anything is going to happen through us. The second compromise is that we need a full view of who Jesus is. The people said 'isn't this just Joseph's son?' Jesus was far more than that. Not just God, not just in human form, not just a prophet, not just alive for 33 years, not just Saviour for the Jews. If we ever limit our view of who He is it will reflect in our faith in Him. Another compromise that we put requirements on Him before we follow. The people wanted a miracle before they'd follow him. Calisto's final words in this message were "Leave here as an ambassador that will not compromise!"

One thing he said really resonated with me though, "If it is not good for local consumption, it is not good for export." Jesus first revealed himself to his own hometown. He started where he was before going out. I tend to do the opposite; I go and go and go, I want to go elsewhere. The lessons I learn when away helps me when I get back, but I'm still apprehensive sharing Christ with my friends and family. I need to just trust in Him more and truly, there are so many opportunities here. I need to ask for a change in my heart to keep me loving on my friends. What better way to share my love for them then by sharing God's love and blessings with them? But ya, Spirit-led boldness is a requirement for sure.

I'm taking steps though. On the bus home I prayed for my mom quite a bit and I really heard that the next step for me to sharing with her is that I need to be praying for her, with her. So last night I went before going to bed, and I was pretty scared, so it was like a couple hours later, but I asked 'can I pray for you?' and I was really tired by then, but I prayed for her. Tonight was better. lol. I hope to keep praying for her in person each night I am still here and then over the phone when I'm back, but it breaks my heart that I don't think she'll get any better until she receives and trusts in Christ, but I just need to keep praying that day comes soon.

Ya. lol.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

Just There

The part of my hotel I wasn't
staying in. lol

Urbana 12 - 27

Yo. Today was a lot of bussing.

The original plan was to be here by noon. Due to the weather and customs, we ended up getting here at like 5ish. Which, with the time zone makes a 25.5 or so hours of the trip.

And then we were addressed as 'the charter bus that got stranded' although there was a bus from Toronto that actually ended up in a ditch I think I heard...

So, ya. I ran into AB like the second we actually started moving again to go to our hotel. Didn't even know she was here. lol

Our hotel is freaking sweet!!!!! The part we aren't staying in looks awesome! And! It's like a block from the arch!! So ya, sure the walk to the America's center is a little long, but whatever.

Ummm. So, I hadn't fully paid before showing up, I don't have a credit card, and I had not enough cash on me to pay it all. So line after line I ended up registered just as the first session started.

I had been separated from my bus buddies in the whole payment 'Solutions' ordeal in which I ended up paying half USD and half CAD since they don't have debit machines on hand, or something..?

The session was good. None of the WC famous P2C staff member starstruckness, but good. Worship was sweet. Kinda had an American feel (if you understand what I mean, I don't even really do. haha), but we sang the Revelation Song in English, Spanish, French and Mandarin! So cool!

We're gonna be going through Luke this week, starting right where Pastor DB left off. Haha.

I met my roommates. Interesting fellows. Lol.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

Urbana 12 Warning!

Yo guys!

Just warning you, I've got a bunch of posts ready to publish about what happened day by day in St. Louis. Those posts may not be the most concise, but I have not included nearly everything and will be doing a bunch of other posts about what I learned at Urbana as well as what the seminars I went to were about and stuff so you can get an idea of what happened both externally and internally in me. lol.

So, ya, you've been warned. lol. This will be the last part of that series.

I was on a bus all day. lol. My meals were granola bars, dry uncooked instant noodles, and an unsweetened iced tea. lol. So, pretty bad meals, but I didn't pay anything. lol. They also played the Urbana 12 CD, so we got to do some worship on the bus too. xP. I'm gonna talk a lot about the worship later, but it was a large highlight in my experience. We did a lot of worship in languages that are not English. So good.

Got back safely, said bye to MC, and now dealing with emails and stuff.

So, ya, look forward to more exciting stuff than this one. haha.

Ttyl!

=D.Fa

Re- Over- Un- Lacking Commitment.

Urbana 12 - 30

So, today, eh?

I don't even know. It started pretty well. The Bible study was pretty good. We were in Luke 15 today and we had a good discussion about sheep and coins and parties.

We bought lunch and went to morning session. We were a bit late. Todays message was the rest of Luke 15 about the two sons and the father. We had a different expositor this morning and he never stopped talking long enough to take a breath. Like, he received applause a number of times, but just kept going, never really acknowledging our response. But ya, he did present well how we have all turned away an even the younger son's prepared speech wasn't repentence. As in the other two parables it was all God's work to bring them back. And so there was an invitation to return to the Father; either for the first time or a renewed turning back. A lot of people did so and they went to have a party.

Then was the offering. I tend to think that I have nothing else I can really sacrifice. They say 'cut out coffee for a week', I say 'I barely spend money on food.' But that's arrogant. I have so much blessing and am not truly giving out of my poverty. So, I gave all I had left and won't buy anything until I'm back in Canada.

I actually calculated how much I had spent so far and after the offering I was basically at all the money my dad had given me. So I was actually done... Then I remembered that we were going to the arch tomorrow. And you have to pay to go up... Was I going to stay on the ground as they went up? I couldn't really do anything else. That would be so self-centered to go back on my commitment. I asked how much it cost. 10$. The exact amount my friend had given me for this trip. It's still in my wallet. Haha.

After session I went immediately to the seminar room to wait for David Platt. 80 minutes early. Lol. Excessive? Yes. Wasn't really full until 30 minutes before or so. Good talk. Very good talk.

Back for track time. Talked bout lostness and then commitments. This was probably about the time my day started getting worse again.

I'll tell you more about it in another post.

But ya.

The evening session was good. Amazing speaker. I was a little distracted I guess. I made a commitment, but nothing more than I already have committed to. I feel like I need way more prayer and way more time with God.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

Catalysis: Making things go, faster!

Yo, so a few weeks back, maybe more than a month ago, I got to go to an info meeting thing about this group calle Global Vision, the things they do, and the opportunities they have for students.

A lot of what they do is Foreign Trade Missions so there was a lot of stuff about business and economics and stuff.

We were separated into groups for a challenge. We were to do some branding. See what our group could offer and then pitch / sell ourselves.

Since I was in Biochem and the rest of the team was commerce, business, finance, etc, they chose to go with the scientific aspect as our selling point as the majority of the room was also in those other business majors.

So below is the rough outline of our presentation and my bit about the name of our group: Catalysis.

"
1. Team introductions. (individual)
2. Explaination of what our group can offer. (Trevor)
3. Explain what Catalysis is. (Dylan)

As I mentioned earlier, I am studying biochemistry and you may be wondering, what is Catalysis? The word comes from a biological process, so let me give you a short explaination.

Speaking from the point of biological systems, when you try to build a macromolecule, try to make the large useful compounds necessary for the well being, survival and growth of the organism, there are many barriers to this happening; energy, concentration, location, and others.

But when you add a catalyst, those barriers are overcome. The process that may not have happened or had gone slowly before will rapidly advance forward leaving little but the desired products.

This is what our group does with our skill set and knowledgable background; we make things go, faster.

Whether it is international or right here in Canada: we can give you the opportunities to catalyze your ambitions and get things going.
"

Yep. As irrelevant as much of what I sat through there was to my program, it was pretty cool. The speakers talked a lot about the global stage and how things that happen here in our city, affect what happens in our country, and even the world.

"Everything we do in this city / this country is linked to what is happening in Asia and Europe and the world"

And that's pretty cool. But really awesome to see how true it is. Like my friend DL is gonna go back to China after his exchange is finished, but unlike when he got here, he'll be going back with a new hope and joy and abundance of life through his relationship with Jesus. Through the little things we have done here in Ottawa, God chose to work and reveal His glory and now He can do that again when DL goes back and shares the gospel with friends and family.

=D

I was at that event because they ar woking with Parks Canada and have the 'Youth Ambassador' program, which sounds amazing and would count as co-op this summer. Lol. So that'd be awesome, but I don't know if that's what I should be doing this summer. I mean, I want to experience a different city or ttravel during the summer, but the point of me doing co-op was to see if Sciemtific jobs is where I should be going or not...

Dunno.

Lol

Ttyl

D.Fa

PS. Have barely moved since the last post... Haha. If only this line was catalysed. Haha.

Urbana 12: International Family

Yo guys!

I'm at the border crossing just a bit North of Detroit right now! We've been travelling for a long time. Haha. I got on the bus from Montreal at 4:30 with another 15 or 20 people and we've pretty much been driving.

The guy beside me is awesome. Lol. He's an international student from China who is doing his masters in Economics at Dalhousie and by God's grace heard the gospel last year in California and in his brokenness accepted Christ as his saviour! From a life of negativity and depression he found true joy and life. He was baptised this summer on his birthday and just experienced his first Christmas at his pastor's house in Halifax before flying to Ottawa to get on the bus. So, long day for him. Lol

My night has been pretty cool. Got to know him pretty well; still listening to Andrew Huang's free remix album which I put on my phone earlier; read a bit; pit stop.

Then I got to meet the two sitting in front of me. That started with the girl trying to figure out how the song 'Still' goes, so we pretty much sang it together. Apparently they had been talking about those times when you don't hear so much from God. Anyways, they are both from Montreal. Not originally. She is Korean, and he is a quarter Malaysian (the rest being Chinese. Lol). We ended up singing old school worship songs with a guy a row up and a girl another row up. Lol. We also played a game: "Fortunately, unfortunately."

Randomly ran into AY at a pit stop. Was hoping to see him, but really have no way of planning it once I cross this border. Lol

Ummm. Lots of sleep?

Oh! And we watched 'Elf'! Best time I'd ever seen it. Realized the story is a little thin in development, but ya, whatever, Zooey Deschenel(sp?) is in it! So I actually paid attention this time. Lol. I don't especially like Will Ferrell.

Anyways, this is my goodbye for the week. I'll be back on the 1st of January. Maybe once in between.

Oh, Urbana 12 is happening in St. Louis and is gonna be crazy! The Korean girl reminded me about it: worship in many different languages with 50 000 people!?! Crazy awesomeness!

So ya, see you later guys! DFTBA

D.Fa

PS. While I am gone my blog will hit 15000 pageviews from like tons of countries. This isn't because of me, but because of you guys and ya, thanks! I'm glad you take the time to read about what God is doing in Canada and around the world in my life. You guys are like a third family that I just send update letters to and sometimes I forget you exist. Lol.

Grace that is Greater

Yo, so, you still remember the two reasons I don't blog? Well, ya, I'm not really busy right now, so it's kinda the other one that is why I haven't been blogging.

I guess, my relationship with God has been on the rocks and I haven't been prioritizing properly and ya, I fell into sin a little bit.

But that's stupid! So yesterday I spent like 2 hours reading my Bible, praying and singing worship songs.

This is what stuck out to me:

Jer 26:13: "Now reform your ways and your actions and obey the Lord your God. Then the Lord will relent and not bring the disaster he has pronounced against you."

Jer 29:13-14: "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you and will bring you back from captivity."

The rest are from songs:

-In Christ Alone
No guilt in life. No fear in death. No power of hell, no scheme of man can ever pluck me from His hand. Here in the power of Christ I'll stand!


-The Saving One
What mercy was revealed, my fate was surely sealed until He rescued me. His pardon for my sin, His bounty for my need, from slavery and chains I am redeemed.

No fear can hold me down, nor darkness steal my joy. Blood has been poured out, the enemy destroyed.

Jesus is the Christ, the Saving One.


-The Righteousness of Christ
How can I dare speak to You at all? I was born with unclean lips. I have tried in vain to run and hide, yet every corner You are there, from two womb You've known my secrets. Yet with a Father's love You've chased me down, embraced me as Your son, with a heart of joy You run to me.

Naked I fall with nothing at all. You alone can clothe me, so I can stand before thee. I can be pure, but only if You would clothe me in the righteousness of Christ.


-Aftermath
The hands that cradle the stars are the hands that bled for me.

My freedom found in your scars, in your grace my life redeemed. You chose to take the sinner's crown as you placed your crown on me.

In that moment of surrender you were broken for all the world to see. That was the moment you broke the chains in me. Lifted out of the ashes, I am found in the aftermath.


-Light has Come
Good tidings to the world, to the weak and the broken down. In a small, poor and dirty town light has come. A baby splits history, Emmanuel, Savior, King. Come sinner let your eyes see. Light has come.

God sent His Son, cradle, cross, to the crown. He stepped down from His throne to the world that He loves. Light has come, God with us

In His name our chains will shatter, for unto us is born. A Son, our God is with us, this Christmas morn’. Now the chains are torn asunder, all oppression is undone. To the glory of our Father, this Christmas morn’.


So, ya, I'm pretty glad that God has apportioned so much grace to us, but for sure I can't keep living like this. haha. I can't earn my own righteousness, but God himself would come down to Earth and take the punishment for us, so that we could stand before Him one day, and more importantly that we could come to know Him personally and live with Him even now. And that's what Christmas is about, God coming down to us because of His love for us..

Merry Christmas!

D.Fa

2 Pet 3:9

Yo, so, just saying it's like 8:30am in China right now. I don't know if that means anything or not. My brother said 7:11am was it, but I don't know what time zone.

Anyways, you've no doubt heard something about the world ending tomorrow and I just want to say I don't really want it to end yet.

Last night my mom, my brother and I were talking and she said she didn't know where she was going if it did end. She said she'd try her best, but ya... That basically means no. So, ya, I don't want the world to end yet. Even if he was joking, as my brother left for his 'end of the world party' he said he'd be going to hell. My dad jokingly said he could always ask me for a drive (to heaven..?).

Ya, so that's where my family is at.

My friends are at similar places.

No one that I know personally, really think the world is going to end.

For the one who trusts in Jesus Christ, their future is secure. Whatever happens, they have trusted in Christ's death on the cross to pay for their sins and become a new creation; however long it has been since then, they have lived life abundantly and have started eternal life by their relationship with God even while still on Earth. But it is the people who do not have this relationship with God yet which is why I don't want the world to end.

If the world ended tomorrow, my family would be gone. My friends would be gone. People around the world who don't know Christ yet would be gone.

That would suck.

I really want my friends to come to know Christ as their saviour and live life with a new hope, a new light, a new life. I'm gonna keep praying for them.

D.Fa

-2Pet3:9 "The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." Amen.

22 Hours

It's almost that time again, exams are nearly finished and Christmas is around the corner.

I just need to cram all day tomorrow and write an exam at 7pm.

I got to talk a little bit about evolution today with my friend. haha. He seriously asks the best questions and he says Revelation is the most interesting book in the Bible because of all the symbolism. I seriously can't wait for him to accept Christ as his saviour. Then we can actually be brothers.

Last day at work until the New Year. Took a break to go study. >.<

Exams stink. lol.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

2 Tim 2:13

Hey, so today was cool. lol.

First thing that happened was Children's Sunday school. I got to officially meet some of the kids since I got there a little early. haha... Then we had a lesson about Matthew 5:4 Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted. We should mourn for the evil in the world and pray for God to be working His salvation in great ways. Then, downstairs, CC told me she had sent her support letter to her support coach. And I said "wow, you're way ahead of me" which she then flipped on me saying "you've only got 10 days to raise ___!" Wow. Eyes open now. lol. I kinda forgot about that deadline. lol.

The other day, yesterday actually, when me, DL, AO and JB met up to do a Bible study thing, one thing that we talked about was really truly trusting in God, like not making back up plans for when God doesn't come through, but to trust that He will, because He can and will come through when we trust Him for those things. One specific example was support raising for a project. You are praying for God to provide the funds, but are also planning to take out a loan if the money doesn't come through..? That doesn't show any faith in God.

Well, just a couple hours ago I was at work and I put two and two together.

I had been support raising to go to Urbana after Christmas and I had been praying for God to come through. I had a lot of people to email and talk to and contact. But then Support raising for Haiti was coming along and it was basically like I had a week to get the remaining amount, which was quite a large percentage of the cost. I really had not sent enough personal emails. With time running low I was getting desperate. I had a few more shifts at work last week than normal. I thought, "oh, God must be providing for this through my finances", but then of the few emails I had sent God supported me fully through a few supporters.

Even though I was ready to rely upon my works, and just forget about what I had asked for, God still came through and there's so much more I am thinking right now about the future, but in everything to praise Him for what He has done in answering prayers and providing our every need in Him.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

PS. RL and JC's baptism today?! Yeah buddy!

Ice King

Yo, so the last few days have been pretty difficult. lol... Two pretty hard exams, and a whole lot of cramming. I also played some dominion on Wednesday, which was pretty awesome.

Anyways, I haven't done any work today, but I got to meet up with DL and AO and JB for a Bible study. And ya, this was the second time JB was there. He came Thursday morning too and it was awesome seeing how he also sees the great awesomeness that is the excitement DL has for learning more about God. Haha. Like seriously, it's mega awesome. Everyday we meet up is better than the last he remembers everything we read and talked about. xP And last time both DL and KC prayed without us asking them to, which is awesome. Haha.

Anyways, I really should do some work tomorrow.

Ttyl guys

D.Fa

Falling Back

Yo, so, I did end up falling even further back momentarily and it has really messed with my head.

You know, the whole 'we are no longer sinners, but saints who sometimes sin' thing? It's kinda messy. Like, there is definitely freedom in Christ from sin, and indeed we will not suddenly overnight be free from all sin since we are still living in the flesh, but when you have been seeing victory in a certain area for so long it freaking sucks to be back at square one. But on the other hand, it's not like in this area I was even winning fully considering our thoughts also must be sanctified and they definitely have not been recently.

But since falling a bit further my mind has just been drowning in bad thoughts. I can't study without my mind wandering. So when it did I just had to quit and take a break, get back to the word, and that took the form of a SCF lesson, which oddly enough was about the main battle ground of our spiritual warfare: the mind.

But ya, I just need to be in the word and in fellowship with Christ more. My record-breaking streak means nothing, since it was never myself doing that. I am not back at square one, my relationship with God has definitely grown since the summer.

After the lesson, I ended up on youtube and from a video of a guitar cover of radio head, I got to a song by Starfield called 'Speak Now Jesus' and it really fit where I was at.

"The noise of life is overwhelming, drowning out the truth that I need, open up my ears to hear, open up my ears to hear.
Speak now Jesus, Speak into my heart, I am desperate to hear your still small voice. I need to hear your voice.
Lead me Jesus, I need direction. I am so lost, without you guiding me. I need to know your peace.

When you speak I'll listen; where you lead, I'll go"

I can't do it without Him. I seriously need to hear from Him more.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

僕は大きい馬鹿だよ

Yo, so as you can kinda tell from my last post, I have been doing stuff on my own recently, not spending time with God "because I am too busy", and that makes me a big idiot. I have been feeling really tempted and useless and not getting anything done really.

But God is faithful and really super awesome. Haha. So, even though I was going my own way and heading towards destruction, God stopped me and brought me out. I text a couple of my brothers in Christ, and as usual they suggested I go for a walk. Haha.

So I went. There's a park right across the street, like a couple blocks away. I left my phone at home and went.

Earlier, because I nearly failed, I went back online to SettingCaptivesFree.com, where I had been doing a 60 day course, and hadn't been for about a week. And starting from here I got to see how, like, the whole Bible is solid and the books all agree with one another even though written thousands of years apart.

First, at SCF, was a lesson on being a new creation in Christ referencing 2 Cor, and Rom, but the main focus of the lesson was on creation, back in Genesis. When the world was formless and empty and dark and the land submerged below the waters, God spoke light into the world and on the third day rose the land to life and fruition. In the same way, Jesus was put to death for our sins and on the third day rose to new life, also giving this new life to those who would trust in Him.

Then I went to the park and read a few chapters in Jeremiah. But the very first thing I read was Jer 3:22 "Return, faithless people, I will cure you of backsliding", which is exactly what had been happening to me without God. Convicted. Haha. Anyways, I prayed a lot and kept reading. Jer 4:22 "My people are fools; they do not know me. They are senseless children; they have no understanding. They are skilled in doing evil; they know not how to do good." and verse 23 "I looked at the earth, and it was formless and empty; and at the heavens, and their light was gone." and there was a whole lot more about destruction coming from the north, but a remnant being kept alive, and about sin being the reason for all this destruction, and that the people would be like branches of a grape vine, being cut off (like in John 15:5/6).

That's a whole lot to take in, and I don't always get application when it comes to Old Testament, especially prophets. Obviously step 1: Return to the Lord. But I felt I should read 1 Pet, where I had left off in my reading plan for the New Testament.

I read the first chapter. Haha. Verse 3 "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead". "You may have had to suffer all kinds of trials" "be self-controlled" and Peter quoted Leviticus in verse 15/16 "But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy."" "you were redeemed from the empty way of life ... with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect" (18/19). And it goes on to encourage us to love our brothers sincerely because we "have been born again" through the word of God that stands forever (then he quoted Isaiah 40:6-8).

Basically, even from Gen and Lev, to the prophets Jer and Isa, to the gospels such as John, or the Epistles of Paul and Peter, the Bible told one story of a faithless people whom God called out to again and again and foretold of His Son Jesus Christ coming to pay the price that we may be born again and come to know Him and have real life, not the emptiness we used to live in.

So, I'm a little in awe. Haha.

God is faithful to the end even when I'm an idiot. haha.

Ttyl.

D.Fa

Everything is Due Monday

That was the motto of the last week.

Today was the last day of classes for the fall semester at Carleton University, so I had 3 assignments and a formal lab report due today.

I have also been very sick, so I just need to get to Tuesday and I'll be fine. haha.

Gotta sleep!

Ttyl.

D.Fa

Priant Pour L'Amour

I had a moment earlier:

I had been driving around all day doing stuff, practice for the Christmas concert, small group leader training course thingee, lunch with SM and AT, scanning the car registration at my parents, etc.

I was driving home when I like sped up and went around an ambulance to get home faster. (it wasn't flashing. haha.)

I ended up nearly skidding into a car slowing behind a turning car. (It was really rainy)

The ambulance passed me.

And I just thought, why is it I do these things?

I get involved in so many things and have no time to even get better when I am sick. But why?

"If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing." 1 Cor 13:2

That's what I was feeling. And so for the rest of the drive that's what I did, pray for love.